Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    JSI65's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    7
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Im so frustrated and angry

    I have been thinking way too much lately and this gets me in trouble. I have been really angry for the past two weeks and have been really frustrated. My mom who is turning 80 in May, use to live near my home. My wife and I were providing her with care and helping her. Last year her primary doctor suggested that she move into an assisted living facility. There is a assisted living facility near my home which is the best in the area. In fact, I know some of the staff and residents. I spoke with my sisters ( who do not live here) about going to this facility. My one sister agreed that she needed more help. My other sister was against this move. However, we began the process of getting into the facility. However, my mom would not go. So, we continued providing her help at home. Last July she fell and broke her hand. She used the emergency life line I got for her. She was brought to the hospital and had to wear a cast. We approached the subject of going to the assisted living facility that could provider her with the level of care she needed. She told me yes, but would not go. To make a long story short, about three weeks ago, my two sisters and my nephew moved my mom into an assisted living facility over three hours away from me, down near New York City. They DID NOT tell me they were doing this. We accidentally found out about this when my wife dropped by her house to check on her. She found my nephew boxing up her things and said she was moving downstate to this assisted living facility. My mother agreed to this? Now, I don't have any access to her and don't know whats going on. I know that she fell at the facility and broke her pelvis. Again, my sisters never let me know. They have not called me and are probably not speaking to me because they feel I wasn't taking good enough care of my mom. We were doing a lot for her. We were taking her to all her medical appointments and doing her grocery shopping an a lot of other things. My nephew, "who is in charge" called and told us about my mom's fractured pelvis. I have spoken with my mom by phone, but I think because of the pain, she did not want to talk and ended the call. I feel like the worst son in the world. I truly hate my sisters and my nephew. I never really knew the meaning of hate until now. Im having panic attacks daily and my anxiety has been really high every day. I have a very stressful job and a son with autism. My cat who is 12, probably has cancer. I honestly don't know how much I can take? I worry daily about my mom and I have difficulty going to sleep at night. My depression became worse and I went to my Primary Doc. He is a great person!! He gave me medication which has been helping. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist this Thurs. However, I feel like a total failure and cant help but think that if my dad was alive, he would be very disappointed in me for not being able to take better care of my mom. At this point, I feel totally helpless and frustrate and hateful. I don't know if there is anything else I can do to cope with this?

  2. #2
    L's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    3,619
    I'm feeling
    ContentContent
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Hey sweety,

    It really sounds like things are hard on you at the moment. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and seeking help, so well done for that. Do you feel that your mother is being looked after adequately where she is at the moment - would you be able to visit her to see how she is coping? Have you tried talking to your sisters over it? You feel like your dad would look down on you? What more do you feel you could have done for your mum? You gave her options and choice, you were there to look out for her but something was done behind your back.

    Find out how your mum is, is she happy? Settling in? Does she want to be there? Maybe try make that your main focus for now!

    Take Care
    J.x
    life---> <---me

  3. #3
    takethebiscuit's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    172
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    You've been really angry for the past two weeks and have been really frustrated.

    I feel for you and hope things improve for you. You've got a lot on your plate right now and it's clear anger is not going to help you. Yes, anger can be a natural response to life sometimes but hate eats you from the inside out and anger is the quickest way to making mistakes.

    Guilt, anger and hate will give any anxiety you suffer from super powers and seriously mess with your ability to handle things in your life.

    Talk things over with the psychiatrist. Deal with the guilt, anger, hate etc and then you've got more power to cope with the other things in your life.

  4. #4
    JSI65's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    7
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote lasair View Post
    Hey sweety,

    It really sounds like things are hard on you at the moment. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and seeking help, so well done for that. Do you feel that your mother is being looked after adequately where she is at the moment - would you be able to visit her to see how she is coping? Have you tried talking to your sisters over it? You feel like your dad would look down on you? What more do you feel you could have done for your mum? You gave her options and choice, you were there to look out for her but something was done behind your back.

    Find out how your mum is, is she happy? Settling in? Does she want to be there? Maybe try make that your main focus for now!

    Take Care
    J.x
    Hi Lasair, Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your time and your response. I do think my mom is being taken care of. I really can't talk to my sisters without there being an argument. By this I mean they will hang the phone up on me and will not discuss this. They already have. My one sister called me evil and my other sister always avoid difficult situations. I think that I could have spoken to my my mom more and try to help her understand what her decisions could possibly lead to. We did speak to mom and she sounded better than the last time we spoke to her. She seems to be adjusting to the change. I really thank you for responding to my post. Take care, Joe

  5. #5
    JSI65's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    7
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote takethebiscuit View Post
    You've been really angry for the past two weeks and have been really frustrated.

    I feel for you and hope things improve for you. You've got a lot on your plate right now and it's clear anger is not going to help you. Yes, anger can be a natural response to life sometimes but hate eats you from the inside out and anger is the quickest way to making mistakes.

    Guilt, anger and hate will give any anxiety you suffer from super powers and seriously mess with your ability to handle things in your life.

    Talk things over with the psychiatrist. Deal with the guilt, anger, hate etc and then you've got more power to cope with the other things in your life.
    I also want to really thank you for your time and your response. I did go to the first appointment with the psychiatrist this past Thursday. It went well. I has made some changes to my the medication I have been taking. I did not have an anxiety attack yesterday or this morning and I have had two nights of good sleep. She also suggested that I take magnesium powder before bed. This is the first I have heard of this. So, I took it last night as a tea and I was able to relax before bed. Im feeling in a better frame of mind to deal with the feelings of hate and anger. However, the guilt is the one that is really going to be hard. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. Thank you so much again!!!

  6. #6
    takethebiscuit's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    172
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quote JSI65 View Post
    I also want to really thank you for your time and your response. I did go to the first appointment with the psychiatrist this past Thursday. It went well. I has made some changes to my the medication I have been taking. I did not have an anxiety attack yesterday or this morning and I have had two nights of good sleep. She also suggested that I take magnesium powder before bed. This is the first I have heard of this. So, I took it last night as a tea and I was able to relax before bed. Im feeling in a better frame of mind to deal with the feelings of hate and anger. However, the guilt is the one that is really going to be hard. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. Thank you so much again!!!
    You're welcome. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Can't promise anything but I could be able to help you with dealing with the guilt. If you're interested, send me a private message on here.

Made with <3
Anxiety Space is not a replacement for a fully qualified doctor.