Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Dust_in_the_wind's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    46
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)

    Can a lonely person be happy?

    I am an introverted person. I didn't want to be, but it's just the way I am.
    In my present situation, I never really get to meet new people.
    I have tried hard to get close to people in my past, but I've failed every time.

    It's as though people can like me but never actually love me.
    I can love and forgive easily, I love helping others and being around good people.

    But I hardly ever get the chance now, and when I try, I fail time and time again. It's becoming very disappointing, I'm becoming apathetic and I'm left feeling deflated.

    So my question is this: As an introvert, if I'm left closed off to other people, can I find a way to be happy with that?

    Suggestions appreciated.
    *** I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round. ***

  2. #2
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,314
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    As long as you're lonely, I don't see it as a possibility. You will always want more.

    The key to happiness is living in the now, not what might have been. Let go of that and realize you create your own destiny. That is all you need.

  3. #3
    Antidote's Avatar Rude & Shouty
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,139
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    If you actually feel lonely I don't think you can feel happy with that. I think the sadness associated with it will persist. Someone who is profoundly introverted wouldn't really ever feel lonely, but they'd have to be so introverted they'd probably be quite autistic / have ''Schizoid PD''. Most introverts aren't that severely introverted and need more social stimulation. I think it's possible for your social needs to reduce or rise after a while if you are spending a lot of time alone or spending a lot of time socialising. But everyone will have a range of optimal social stimulation, and if you're getting less than the lower end of your 'range' you'll feel chronically deprived and sad.

    Some introverts can meet most of their social needs through online social interaction. I don't know how much you've tried to socialise online, but this may be your best option. If you're lucky, online interactions and friendships may turn into irl ones which may be more satisfying for you. Another option is getting a pet (if you don't have one), though it's not the same as human companionship.

  4. #4
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    7,428
    I'm feeling
    HyperHyper
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    I have had some very lonely times in my life. Just cut away from people for 3 years at a stretch. Cut away from my children, my family. And that loneliness still affects me today. I get sad and depressed when it's cold because it brings back that utter loneliness.

    Was I able to be happy when I was utterly alone? A few times. I would focus on things that for a brief moment would bring me to an imagined happy world. I would gaze up Canal Street with all the glittery lights and imagine it was New York and I was a famous Broadway play person. Then I would walk with my head held high through the crowd as though I was ever so important. I would imagine they all felt privileged to even get a glimpse of the great movie star. I would smile at them and they would smile back.

    I know you're saying, "so you made yourself be happy with a delusion." You're right. But isn't it true that sometimes we make ourselves sad with a delusion also? I imagine sometimes that everyone at my work hates me. Then I get sad and angry. So why not imagine you're on the top of the world and live that for awhile. It's not a lie to yourself. It's a way to cope with pain. It's an escape. When I was faced with 24/7 lonliness and pain, I needed the occasional delusional break to help me believe I was worth the world keeping me and loving me. I had hope. I needed hope.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  5. #5
    compulsive's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    ...
    Posts
    353
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Honestly, No. I don't think its possible.

  6. #6
    Otherside's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    6,006
    I'm feeling
    ColdCold
    Mentioned
    85 Post(s)
    Yes. It's possible. But then I guess as Antidote said, I seem to fall into the extremely introverted category. I'm happier with my introversion, I prefer the introverted creativity that comes with it and would prefer that to the extroverted need to socialize more. I get lonely though. And it sucks.

    But yes, it's possible for us to be happy. As Antidote also said, some of us can fill our social needs online. Guess I fall into that catregory too.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  7. #7
    Sagan's Avatar Carl Sagan
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    SOL System
    Posts
    5,375
    I'm feeling
    ContentContent
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    It's possible for me. But it never lasts very long.
    http://youtu.be/zSgiXGELjbc

    "A still more glorious dawn awaits
    Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
    A morning filled with 400 billion suns
    The rising of the milky way"

    "The sky calls to us
    If we do not destroy ourselves
    We will one day venture to the stars" -Carl Sagan

  8. #8
    whiteman's Avatar
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    439
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    It's more than possible for me. It's a reality. I'm happier now than I've ever been my entire life, and I'm hardly ever around people, and when I am, I wish I wasn't. I have a purpose. Other than promoting gender and racial equality and tolerance, I exercise during the winter so I can surf in the spring summer and fall. I work, and I love my jobs. Despite a physical disability and mental illness, I'm really, really, really happy.
    I don't get a signature.

  9. #9
    Forum Addiction:

    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,314
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I find myself wishing I were alone more. Living in a house with five kids and two other adults can be draining.

Made with <3
Anxiety Space is not a replacement for a fully qualified doctor.