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    Level of Picking Fights = Level of Hurting

    One of my ways to distract from pain is to pick a fight. If I'm fighting, I don't feel the pain.

    I'll find an old nemesis. Or I'll pick a subject that is sensitive and make a comment. It's usually when I'm in a bad mood. And that bad mood is usually when I'm hurting or was hurt.

    Does anybody see themselves consciously or subconsciously, try to pick fights? Or create drama? Or say "What the hell if I flame anyone or step on their toes?"

    Just curious if anybody sees themselves doing that same behavior when they hurt.

    My therapist tells me she can tell my level of pain by the amount of chaos I was involved in during the week.

    I think she's spot on that this is one of my distractions.

    I know medicine changes can cause this erratic behavior. But mostly for me, it's just trying to overcome the pain.

    Thanks for answering,

    Cindy
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

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    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I can be there right with you. Something that happened yesterday didn't bother me but today I'm ready for the fight. And it is usually something/someone that isn't going to change and I know that but I'm just ready to go. Anger is a familiar partner and I feel like I don't drop when I'm angry and that propels me to continue forward. I think for me it revolves back to my trust issues and I'm determined to not let anyone take advantage of me again. Anger can be a lonely partner though and I work real hard on finding my 'zen' place and still be able to work on the issue. All I can say is I'm still a work in progress.
    Never be bullied into silence.
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    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

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    Quote Tinkerbell View Post
    I can be there right with you. Something that happened yesterday didn't bother me but today I'm ready for the fight. And it is usually something/someone that isn't going to change and I know that but I'm just ready to go. Anger is a familiar partner and I feel like I don't drop when I'm angry and that propels me to continue forward. I think for me it revolves back to my trust issues and I'm determined to not let anyone take advantage of me again. Anger can be a lonely partner though and I work real hard on finding my 'zen' place and still be able to work on the issue. All I can say is I'm still a work in progress.
    You're post reminded me of something I just read. I hate to bring up my alters/parts here, but recently a movie was made by one of them. I couldn't understand the weak = hurt in the movie until just now when I read your post. Maybe when we feel hurt, we feel weak and one way to avoid that weak feeling is to rev up all this power. Hm. Does that feel like that for you? Because yeah, I can work up a sweat in a fight also. I think I'm gonna post that video on my other thread because it relates to DID, but it makes a lot of sense.

    Thanks for that insight.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

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    When I'm hurting, I'm also very intolerant of people's remarks. I get annoyed with generalizations, with insensitive statements and generally just get angry with people who try to make their problem, mine. I see people who pick fights as people who are hurting but who would rather just hurt someone else than admit their hurt.

    Admitting hurt is tough. Very tough. I can see why people think it's easier to hurt others or pick a fight.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    Admitting hurt is tough. Very tough. I can see why people think it's easier to hurt others or pick a fight.
    So true. Everything allright?

    Ugh, my minds gone blank. It's late. Sorry, I'm just going to steal your post. I need to sleep. Damn my time zone...I'm sure everyone here on America is wondering why I'm going to bed so early...heck, you guys sleep in REALLY late.

    Meh, my britishness. Rule britania, long live the Queen, bloody tea and scones...

    Sorry, hijacking your thread. But yeah...back on subject...yeah, I pick fights when things are tough. For some reason I just feel the need to take it out on people.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


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    Quote Otherside View Post
    So true. Everything allright?

    Ugh, my minds gone blank. It's late. Sorry, I'm just going to steal your post. I need to sleep. Damn my time zone...I'm sure everyone here on America is wondering why I'm going to bed so early...heck, you guys sleep in REALLY late.

    Meh, my britishness. Rule britania, long live the Queen, bloody tea and scones...

    Sorry, hijacking your thread. But yeah...back on subject...yeah, I pick fights when things are tough. For some reason I just feel the need to take it out on people.
    You're not hijacking it my friend. I have to get up early no matter what time I go to bed. 7 cats know when it's morning and let me know repeatedly until I get up to feed them.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

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    Otherside's Avatar
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    Oh I was referring to the time zones. Your morning is usually mid afternoon or something over here. We're probably on different dates at the moment seeing as your eight hours behind me or something...I dunno, these times zones are weird.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


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    Quote chantellabella View Post
    You're post reminded me of something I just read. I hate to bring up my alters/parts here, but recently a movie was made by one of them. I couldn't understand the weak = hurt in the movie until just now when I read your post. Maybe when we feel hurt, we feel weak and one way to avoid that weak feeling is to rev up all this power. Hm. Does that feel like that for you? Because yeah, I can work up a sweat in a fight also. I think I'm gonna post that video on my other thread because it relates to DID, but it makes a lot of sense.

    Thanks for that insight.
    I would say that you are dead on and I never really thought of that way until now, and I had to sit and think about it. I think that feeling weak and vulnerable is not a place I usually I want to be in so.........the anger takes it place and I feel safe. I don't attack people and/or set out to hurt any individual but it fuels me to tackle an issue, I call it putting my Crusader cape on, even if it is futile. Now the flip side of that is when I need to be weak and vulnerable, I find it hard to be there and allow someone to help me; my ex would call it my martyrdom. To some extent he would be right and I would still find a way to blame him somehow. I try harder with my current relationship and it says a lot of how I feel about him, because he is the only one who knows most of my past and wonder of wonders he is still around. Again, work in progress.
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

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    Hummm I'm not sure

    Had a grandmother who picked fights a lot and she said she did it out of boredom.

    No, I personally don't try to seek out drama. There are times where I just don't care about getting along though and I feel like I have a right to speak my mind as much as anybody else..

    What happens a lot of the time is people just hold their tongue and go along with others. Often times it's hard to know what people really believe and think, most often people have to keep it to themselves I guess.

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