I guess at this point I've run out of things that cheer me up. Stood up until 6:50 last .. morning.
I wish I could knock myself out for the whole of today, perhaps with some kind of surgical anesthetic, which I won't be able to afford one way or the other. I only slept 4 hours and surprisingly, I don't wanna go back to sleep. My whole body feels utterly disgusting I don't want anything touching the bare parts of my skin.
Tomorrow I'm gonna be able to credit my online classifields account so I can sell this computer that I've set up. . just so I can finish off the very last bits of my facial hair.
The therapist is going on holiday - a thought that's been tormenting me. They used to have more than one in the clinic . Now she's taken over all the beauty treatments, which kinda sucks because it means that patients .. (well, anxious, tortured, melancholic, dysphoric, suicidal) are gonna have to wait, whether they have the money or not.
I just wanna skip my life all the way to the point in which I've completed the treatment. There's nothing else that I want.
Bodies are such filthy things to live in. Just want to roast away and fertilize the plants, my dream of a lifetime.