In the beginning of 7th grade I got so curious on how it would feel and so i tried a couple little cuts. So then the first time i got really stressed from school i remembered that i had an extra blade that would normally go into a box cutter knife thing. And i cut. I kept cutting whenever i was stressed with school work. It got to the point where i had the blade in my back pack and my friend saw them and threw them into the river that we were by. But she forgot one at the bottom so i put it in my pocket and kept it. Then summer came and i didnt cut as much because i wasnt in school so there was less stress. But i was forced to always babysit my nephew and i couldnt do what i wanted. I felt like a teen mom.
So i cut. And now at the beginning of 8th grade my mom tried to move me down to chicago. I said no and moved in with my dad while she moved to chicago to live with her boyfriend that she has been dating for only 7 months. All the stress from the court stuff made me cut again. School was pretty easy so if it wasnt for my mom i wouldve been fine. And now its sunday and i recieved some emails from my teachers. I have 3 essays due, all on different things, and all very long and all due this week! When i saw the email i showed my dad and he asked if anybody at school could help me with one of them (were doing future cities and im the one that got picked to do the essay for my group and nobody else wanted to) and i said no because i dont want them to mess it up and ruin it. and so he said to not be so hard on myself.When my dad walked out of my room i started crying and cutting. And after all the bleeding i felt like i could do all the essays and it would be fine. All the stress was gone. I feel like i have anxiety too.
My mom has really bad anxiety. I also feel alone and like i have nobody there to talk to when in reality, i do. Should i bring it up to my doctor next time i get a check up (soon). I think i might have BPD or someother disorder.Do you think so?thanks
BPD has a lot of different symptoms other than just self-destructive behaviour. I'm always reluctant to suggest diagnoses over the Internet though, and I'm against self-diagnoses as well. Bring it up with your doc and see what he/she says.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much at the moment with self harm. I know how difficult it is.
Hey hun, really sorry to hear what is happening. Have you ever spoken to someone about how you cope with stress. In my opinion you need to replace your cutting with a more positive form of release. I'll pm you something later I did up on self harming (in college at the moment )