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  1. #1
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    Fear of being attacked.

    I posted this on anther forum, figured I would post this here, too.

    I have a generalized fear that, whenever I go anywhere by myself, I will be attacked. I'm not talking about someone rushing at me, but someone taking a knife, gun, or some other weapon (even their fists), and killing me.

    I've had this fear since I was in my early 20's. I think it started when I moved out to the college dorms when I was 22, and suddenly there were fistfights and drunk and drugged people all over the place. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, and suddenly saw the world for what it really was: a beautiful place, but a dangerous one.

    I posted on the other forum about being scared at music concerts. I am going to one today, and I am extremely nervous, to the point that I am afraid to sleep. I know at least 147 people are showing up, judging by this artist's Facebook page (that's how many people RSVP'ed), but I'm sure even more will show up, and the place has a 400 people capacity. I watch her videos on You Tube, and the places are always packed, because she is so talented.

    It's mainly this fear of being hurt that makes me not want to go. She is one of my favorite artists, one of the few pop stars that I think bridge the gap between experimental rock and catchy pop, and that's why I like her. She's a new Kate Bush. A lot of college students like her, and she is admittedly popular with the geeks, so I am sure that everyone there will be as socially awkward as I am...or admittedly younger, and therefore feel out of place. Going by her forum, many fans have her listed as the very first concert they've ever been to.

    I've been going to music concerts since I was out of the womb. In fact, even before that, because my mom went to a few concerts while she was pregnant with me. I have never been attacked, and everyone has been cool. Even when I saw Iron Maiden (the most hardcore artist I saw), I had metalheads with tattoes and nose rings coming up to me and asking me where I got my shirt (I was wearing a Black Sabbath shirt.) So, yeah, people like me, and I have no reason to fear it...but that's what I'm afraid of, because if it's not THIS concert, it'll be the next one, and if it's not the next one, it'll be the one after that...etc.

    I guess I should feel good that I'm brave enough to go out and go to these concerts, despite me feeling like I'm going to be gunned down, or something crazy like that. But it's not just concerts; whenever I've lived on my own, and walked to and from places, I've always thought "Please, God, let me get there without somebody trying to murder me"...when I told my mom that, she said that I can't live my life like that, but god, I don't know how else to?

    Anyway, can someone please shine a light on my phobias here, and do you have similar phobias?

  2. #2
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    Yeah I get the same thing, living in a crumby neighborhood (though not for much longer) just going for a walk around the block requires a great deal of mental prep and if I see too many people walking past my house I'll put it off. Going to shows alone is really daunting, I used to arrive early and stay out of the way at the back then leave as soon as the the last song finished to beat the rush of the crowd (and to avoid the traffic in the streets). Play it cool and quiet and enjoy the show B)

  3. #3
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    Sounds like obsessive compulsive disorder to me

  4. #4
    FireIsTheCleanser's Avatar
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    Yeah I'm pretty scared of being attacked. If I see someone walking down the street I always prepare myself for some kind of conflict no matter what the person looks like (you see that? I ain't prejudiced, I'm afraid of everyone) I think I've blown out proportion how dangerous my neighborhood is. On one hand there sure is a lot of painted over graffiti from gangs and one time one of my middle schools called to tell the parents that we didn't have to go to school if we didn't want to because there was a rumor that there was going to be a shoot out between to gangs. Also some kid got shot and killed at my second middle school. But all in all despite being a somewhat low-income neighborhood it seems pretty safe, though we (my family) have run into problems. Like our car windows being smashed for no reason, and my dad and his friend being robbed at gunpoint right outside our house. Sure it's no South Central, LA (where I used to live, HUGE gang problem nowadays around my old neighborhoods, way more since when I lived there) but I guess living there in the first place has kind of shooken me up for everywhere else.
    Keep it cool. Cool people never show emotion. Keep it cool.

  5. #5
    FracturedMoonlight's Avatar Much Like Suffocating
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    It's always kind of something that's at the back of my mind. Like a possibility, but I try not to let it keep me from going out and enjoying life. But I think I know that feeling, especially if I'm out anywhere alone, at night. I like to go running at night, or take my dogs out for a walk at night, and even though my sister's with me, we've still run across some pretty strange people out and about. We live in a city, but just because we're in open areas doesn't mean it's necessarily safe. There's a lot of weird things that happen, but again I just kind of have to follow my intuition and try not to let fear get the best of me. Basically, if you want to go out and enjoy yourself, don't let the fear of being attacked keep you from it, unless you truly feel that there is someone nearby that may very well bring you harm.
    "Fractured moonlight on the sea, reflections still look the same to me" ~Florence & The Machine 'Never Let Me Go'

    1 John 4:7
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    for love is from God, and whoever loves
    has been born of God and knows God."

  6. #6
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    I have always had that since I lived homeless on the street and did get attacked often. It's like I'm waiting for the bomb to drop any minute now. One of the ways I helped that lessen was to learn some self defense stuff. I always make sure I have a huge set of keys in my hand when I walk around. I was taught that if someone tries to grab you, flail the keys across their face. If you can hit their nose, their eyes tear up long enough for you to kick them in a vulnerable spot or run while screaming. Also I no longer put myself in situations that could be dangerous. I will park away from other cars so I have a clear shot of my car. I walk on all sides of my car before opening my door. I quickly get in and lock it. I always look around when walking and never down or at my phone. I also try to have people with me while hiking or other outdoor activities. I avoid secluded spots all together. It's just not worth it. As for getting gunned down randomly.......... while living in New Orleans, if I had to stop at a red light that was notorious for violence in that area, I ran the light after yielding. I did it in front of a cop one day and he knew didn't even stop me. I'm sure he knew it was safer for me to do that. So yep, I do that also because I know what can happen and I'm going to make dang sure it doesn't happen again to me.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  7. #7
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    Well, good news...I went to the concert, and had a blast! I am still re-living the wonderful experience.

    I might as well name drop who I saw, since I have already been there...it was Lights Poxleitner, who is a electronica pop/rock musician. Here is a picture of her



    Add in that four tickets to go see Trans-Siberian Orchestra dropped into my lap for yesterday. Me, my sis, and two of her kids went to go see them. We all had a blast as well!

  8. #8
    FracturedMoonlight's Avatar Much Like Suffocating
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    Yay! That's awesome Glad you had a great time!
    "Fractured moonlight on the sea, reflections still look the same to me" ~Florence & The Machine 'Never Let Me Go'

    1 John 4:7
    "Beloved, let us love one another,
    for love is from God, and whoever loves
    has been born of God and knows God."

  9. #9
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    Very proud of you!!
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  10. #10
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    I am severely uncoordinated, and I doubt I would do well in one. But I will think about it

  11. #11
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    i live in a nice area of sf. its one of the quietest areas of the city. besides the chinese peasants that can be heard nosily going through nearby recycling bins at 2am its all but silent. btw i heard that it's okay to refer to them as peasants because "its what they are" and there's no shame in saying it. and i liked hearing that because it helped me feel less bad for them. i used to get really guilty that this lady was out there in the middle of the night going through the recyclings for our bottles, but once i could think of them as peasants and it being what the peasants do then it helped me stop caring so much. i stopped wanting to give her money.

    however my high school which i took the bus to school to for 3 years and had to walk 6-8 blocks to from where the bus stop dropped me off was in a less good part of sf. not a bad part, but closer to the school is where lots of homeless folks roam. a lot of them are not really the crazy kind so that's good, although they can be aggressive beggars (and threatened to hurt me when i ignored them a few times) but there's some of the crazy types as well. and there's also the community college which you have to walk post to get to the school. walking back to the bus stop after school there's usually some of those kids straggling out. its got to be the remedial campus or something because all those kids scared me. but thankfully i never had any problems in ALL my years of walking to and from school. there were many streets i crossed and circuitous routes i took to avoid particular people, times when i thought i was going to get confronted, but not once did that happen. sure some people said things, but even that didn't happen very often and when i kept walking they never followed.

    the only time anything really happened was on vacation in flint michigan. my mom made me and my brother go to the store by ourselves to get products for our sunburns which were pretty bad (my brother had a fever) and i didn't want to go because its flint michigan and there's people dying everyday in that city, and i just knew something bad might happen to me, like that i would get lost even though my mom assured me i wouldn't, and then once i got lost i'd get mixed up in the wrong part of town, and then once that happened i'd be as good as dead; but then my sunburns were really hurting and buying something for them sounded really good. plus i wasn't completely alone. there were two of us. so we ended up going and we even made it to the store to buy stuff but then wouldn't you know it we got lost on the way back. that's when i got scared. it was really scary to get lost in this dangerous city, we were just standing at this four way intersection area not having any idea of which of the four ways to go, totally disoriented and confused. it was then that the kid on the bike who i'd been keeping an eye on rode past me and hit me in the face. WHAM. we broke into a sprint and i clutched my mouth, and we just ran and ran, but it was the right direction and we somehow came upon the backside of my grandmas house. i accused my mom of child neglect after that and SWORE i would never forgive her, but then as soon as she started to tend to lip i all but forgave her, but i resented myself for forgiving her so easily.

  12. #12
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    I know this is an old thread, but I also do have a pretty serious fear of being attacked; I'm mostly afraid of being shot at.
    I live in South Boston, which borders some pretty undesirable neighborhoods. Boston is the largest city in Massachusetts and has an extremely diverse population economically. My neighborhood is decent but it backs up to a real crappy one.
    I try not to go out much at night, because even though where I live isn't the worst, we still have a fair amount of drunks and druggies wandering around after dark, like in any major city. Unfortunately if I walk a few blocks past my neighborhood I end up in Dorchester, which is a fairly low-income area and as a result has some gang violence and a fair amount of shootings. I'm more afraid of being shot or stabbed than anything else. I worry about getting mugged so I don't carry a wallet unless I'm going to the package store.
    I know my fears are probably irrational, especially since nothing has ever actually happened to me, but my OCD exaggerates everything, which is a pain in the rear.
    I feel safer when walking my dog because he's big and sort of intimidating, he's part Border collie but also part Staffordshire which is a pitbull-type dog. I'm also pretty sure he wouldn't hesitate to bite anyone who came after me and his bark can be pretty alarming. But then again, I'm not very intimidating myself. The kinds of people around here who are shooting each other aren't going to be afraid to mess with someone who looks like me, LOL.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

  13. #13
    nothing's Avatar Habitual Failure
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    Quote madpat View Post
    You might probably be having agoraphobia, which is not very common. I recommend you to get treated as soon as possible. Sometimes it can just creep up your nerves. To dilute the effects, do some Yoga, follow a healthy Diet and do some exercise. All this is not gonna help you to absolutely let go of the symptoms. Consult a doctor or a counsellor as soon as possible. They have better tips. If you can't find one nearby just log onto healtheminds.com for free and consult your psychiatrist. My friend had Agoraphobia of insecurity, more or less like what you have. He was treated at healtheminds as well. SO you too can try it out or also any other online consultation site's which may suite to the needs of a person like you.Get well soon and keep putting up more of these posts so that i can help you at anytime! Happy health!

    You registered and made four posts, but every one of them is pimping healtheminds.com. I don't really want to start an argument here, but that's a bit suspicious to me.

  14. #14
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    I was severly attacked by a transient in October of 2006 while walking home from a Jack-In-The-Box. The attacker pleaded guilty to second degree felony assault and spent a year and three-quarters in federal prison. I still have symptoms from the attack, including on-going balance and equilibrium problems. Good thing he hit me on the side of the head rather than in front. I would have been rendered completely blind and unable to see for the rest of my life according to the Doctor.

  15. #15
    Keddy's Avatar The Awkward Conversationalist
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    Quote nothing View Post
    You registered and made four posts, but every one of them is pimping healtheminds.com. I don't really want to start an argument here, but that's a bit suspicious to me.
    Nothing, I like you.
    "It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

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