I posted this on anther forum, figured I would post this here, too.
I have a generalized fear that, whenever I go anywhere by myself, I will be attacked. I'm not talking about someone rushing at me, but someone taking a knife, gun, or some other weapon (even their fists), and killing me.
I've had this fear since I was in my early 20's. I think it started when I moved out to the college dorms when I was 22, and suddenly there were fistfights and drunk and drugged people all over the place. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, and suddenly saw the world for what it really was: a beautiful place, but a dangerous one.
I posted on the other forum about being scared at music concerts. I am going to one today, and I am extremely nervous, to the point that I am afraid to sleep. I know at least 147 people are showing up, judging by this artist's Facebook page (that's how many people RSVP'ed), but I'm sure even more will show up, and the place has a 400 people capacity. I watch her videos on You Tube, and the places are always packed, because she is so talented.
It's mainly this fear of being hurt that makes me not want to go. She is one of my favorite artists, one of the few pop stars that I think bridge the gap between experimental rock and catchy pop, and that's why I like her. She's a new Kate Bush. A lot of college students like her, and she is admittedly popular with the geeks, so I am sure that everyone there will be as socially awkward as I am...or admittedly younger, and therefore feel out of place. Going by her forum, many fans have her listed as the very first concert they've ever been to.
I've been going to music concerts since I was out of the womb. In fact, even before that, because my mom went to a few concerts while she was pregnant with me. I have never been attacked, and everyone has been cool. Even when I saw Iron Maiden (the most hardcore artist I saw), I had metalheads with tattoes and nose rings coming up to me and asking me where I got my shirt (I was wearing a Black Sabbath shirt.) So, yeah, people like me, and I have no reason to fear it...but that's what I'm afraid of, because if it's not THIS concert, it'll be the next one, and if it's not the next one, it'll be the one after that...etc.
I guess I should feel good that I'm brave enough to go out and go to these concerts, despite me feeling like I'm going to be gunned down, or something crazy like that. But it's not just concerts; whenever I've lived on my own, and walked to and from places, I've always thought "Please, God, let me get there without somebody trying to murder me"...when I told my mom that, she said that I can't live my life like that, but god, I don't know how else to?
Anyway, can someone please shine a light on my phobias here, and do you have similar phobias?