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  1. #1
    toaster little's Avatar
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    Have you ever felt like you can't trust people anymore?

    Especially when they're at the same school or same workplace? Lately I've been feeling like whenever I tell people something personal, they go around telling everyone else and end up using it against me. If they hear about a new job that opened up, they refuse to tell me about it assuming that I'll hate it. I'm thinking they make those assumptions because of the concerns I've shared with them.

    Everyone likes to say they're here for you if you ever need to talk to someone, but when I actually have questions and stuff I want to talk about, I never get a response or get replies where they don't really say anything helpful. I know this from personal experience where I've asked multiple people for something and they never replied even though there's a time stamp of when they received and read my messages.

    People say it's important to make connections and to know people, but I'm starting to think it hurts me more than it should help. When my "connections" hear about a job and the managers ask them about me, they'll say stuff (sometimes things they shouldn't say) without knowing me that well and just say whatever they want (including unconfirmed rumors they heard).

  2. #2
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    Well, there are some people in this world who I don't trust with a bowl of jello. Some people are just very untrustworthy and it's good not to trust them. We had a person at my work who had no self control in the way of talking about others. It was almost a joke that if you wanted to send out an email, just tell this person and she'll get it to others faster.

    And I agree. It's frustrating as hell. Especially when the same people keep screwing you over with gossip.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  3. #3
    Otherside's Avatar
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    Yes. Right now. I'm struggling to really trust people IRL.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  4. #4
    Inscrutable Banana's Avatar Diggin' My Potatoes
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    Trust, much like respect (beyond a base level of it, at any rate), is something that is earned rather than given. Probably not good to get straight up paranoid, but caution is always wise.
    “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin

    "If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." — George Carlin

  5. #5
    toaster little's Avatar
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    Quote Inscrutable Banana View Post
    Trust, much like respect (beyond a base level of it, at any rate), is something that is earned rather than given. Probably not good to get straight up paranoid, but caution is always wise.
    I'm trying to be very careful after knowing certain people for 3 years. It can sometimes sound like I don't trust them when I don't know them, which screams paranoia.

  6. #6
    Inscrutable Banana's Avatar Diggin' My Potatoes
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    Quote toaster little View Post
    I'm trying to be very careful after knowing certain people for 3 years. It can sometimes sound like I don't trust them when I don't know them, which screams paranoia.
    The length of time you know someone can, but doesn't necessarily always directly relate to how much you can or can't trust them, I'd say. Somebody could do more to show themselves as trustworthy in 3 months time than someone else does over 3 years. If you've known someone for a long time and they've done things that show them as trustworthy, or at the very least haven't done anything to show themselves as clearly being untrustworthy but you still distrust them rather than trusting them or just being indifferent, then that might be paranoia rather than caution. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration of course, and even those who are generally trustworthy are still susceptible to human imperfection.
    “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” — George Carlin

    "If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little." — George Carlin

  7. #7
    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I have learned to not tell anything to anyone that I wouldn't want repeated. Sad but it's just a symptom of how difficult it is for me to trust people.
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

  8. #8
    toaster little's Avatar
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    Quote Inscrutable Banana View Post
    The length of time you know someone can, but doesn't necessarily always directly relate to how much you can or can't trust them, I'd say. Somebody could do more to show themselves as trustworthy in 3 months time than someone else does over 3 years. If you've known someone for a long time and they've done things that show them as trustworthy, or at the very least haven't done anything to show themselves as clearly being untrustworthy but you still distrust them rather than trusting them or just being indifferent, then that might be paranoia rather than caution. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration of course, and even those who are generally trustworthy are still susceptible to human imperfection.
    Yeah I know that's true in many cases where you think you know someone after seeing them in school, but hanging out with them outside of classes (dates, parties, etc) can show you much more than what you would have ever learned about them. The people I'm talking about, I've seen them outside of school on road trips and staying in the same hotel.

    Sometimes the impression they give me at school or work is so terrible that I have no desire to spend time with them outside of school and work.

  9. #9
    toaster little's Avatar
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    Quote Tinkerbell View Post
    I have learned to not tell anything to anyone that I wouldn't want repeated.
    Sometimes I say things knowing that they will be repeated to everyone else and people will take my word for it. Is that bad or is it something everyone always does?

  10. #10
    Tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote toaster little View Post
    Sometimes I say things knowing that they will be repeated to everyone else and people will take my word for it. Is that bad or is it something everyone always does?
    I don't think that is a bad reputation to have, I like to think that because of my reputation of being able to keep my mouth shut when needed and not spread bad information - that when I do say things knowing that it will get repeated it has more weight and people tend to believe it. However, saying that, there will still be people who want to believe what they want and will look for information to support that and discount everything else. I guess the short version is; I don't think doing that is bad.
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no one's definition of your life;
    Define Yourself
    -Robert Frost-

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