So who here has Bipolar Disorder? Do you take medication? For me it's a yes & yes. The best thing that's helped me is Paxil even though its aimed more as an anti-depressant. I've taken a couple of other medications aimed towards Bipolar itself but have had horrible reactions to them. Divalproex made me sick constantly & Seroquel made me really cranky. Like I wanted to start fights with people just cause I felt like it for no reason. Paxil helps control that feeling since I do get it without medication as well but like my doctor warned me about, I still have some bad days. Lately I've been having bad days. Naturally being Bipolar I'm a very angry person. Angry for no reason. I want to beat someone up, break stuff or yell in their face. Paxil helps prevent those things from happening but every now & then I have episodes where I scream mainly. What sets me off the most is Negativity, Stress or Criticism.
I do get either pushed aside or criticized for being Bipolar which just makes it worse. I've been called "Bipolar Bitch" & "Immature" over uncontrollable episodes. Some people aren't aware that when I get like that the best thing for them to do is leave me alone to cool off, not makes things worse by yelling at me or calling me stuff. A couple of family members don't even want nothing to do with me cause they say they don't know how to bond with someone that's Bipolar. It hurts my feelings when someone fears or dislikes me over something I can't help. I feel like Bipolar as well as my Anxiety both dominate me.
It's no joke for sure. People don't realize this but those that're Bipolar are really strong for battling it on a daily bases & still wake up each day whether they feel like it or not. We don't want sympathy from society. Just understanding & acceptance but I'm aware everyone battles with different things & feels the same as we do. I just hate the unexplained mood swings & not being able to hold anything in. I'm a very loud person & speak EVERYTHING that comes to mind. Anyone else that's Bipolar find it hard to hold things in like I do? Like I feel like a bomb that's ready to explode when a mood swing happens. I've lost a lot of friends & can't have a relationship because of it.
Bipolar + Social Anxiety = Hell .