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  1. #1
    L's Avatar
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    am i that much of a loser?

    All of my college class, all 13 of them met up this evening for dinner and a night out - I didn't even get an invite - someone made a post of facebook talking about their reunion after being apart for the past 6 weeks.

    It's hard enough trying to deal with my best friend not replying to my messages but to be hit in the face with this. I feel like a freak.

    Hope they forgot me and not left me out on purpose
    life---> <---me

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    I'm sorry you feel so left out and unwanted. I know first hand what it's like. I only ran on my university's intercollegiate cross country team for a year, but it still sucked to feel left out. Whenever they made plans to hang out as a team outside of practice, they did it via facebook. I didn't have a facebook at the time so I was never aware of their plans until after they had passed. They'd all be talking about it during our runs and I'd just be awkwardly plodding along with them with nothing to contribute. I probably would have politely declined any invites anyway, but it still made me sad that I wasn't worth a thought.

    Maybe they assumed that you would have declined the invitation anyway so didn't bother to extend one. Have they asked you to hang out with them in the past? Did you always decline if they did? Most people don't seem to understand SAD and assume that a person doesn't like them if they keep declining their offers to hang out. It sucks for us but I can see where they're coming from. I'd make the same assumption.

  3. #3
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    I have joined them twice, granted I was insulted on one of the nights out - might be for the better. Still feel carp not so much that they didn't even ask but that I feel lile such an outsider and loser - I shouldn't care. I don't Cate about them....sigh
    life---> <---me

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    Secretly Pretentious's Avatar
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    Aw, well that's a shame that they didn't make you feel welcome when you finally did join them. I guess you just didn't click well with that group of people. It doesn't mean that you're defective or a loser. I felt like I was on the outskirts of my university X-country/track team, but I was very well accepted into my school's martial arts club. I hope you're able to find where you belong too.

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    ^ I agree - and 13 people is a small group!

    This kind of crap happens in work environments everywhere. Whenever you have a small, captive group of people, they get territorial & cliquish. People block out others for any number of silly reasons - jealousy, intimidation, etc.

    I know it's hard, and that you're hurt (and understandably so) - but try to act like nothing happened. The next time you see them, be cheery, do your best (within your personal limits) to reach out. It may take some time, but you could still connect, make a breakthrough. If not, then there will always be others who will appreciate you.

    That said, I'm sorry for what happened.

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    Quote Seagull View Post
    ^ I agree - and 13 people is a small group!

    This kind of crap happens in work environments everywhere. Whenever you have a small, captive group of people, they get territorial & cliquish. People block out others for any number of silly reasons - jealousy, intimidation, etc.

    I know it's hard, and that you're hurt (and understandably so) - but try to act like nothing happened. The next time you see them, be cheery, do your best (within your personal limits) to reach out. It may take some time, but you could still connect, make a breakthrough. If not, then there will always be others who will appreciate you.

    That said, I'm sorry for what happened.

    Yeah, I agree. And I'm sorry that happened too. It feels bad when you're hurt like that.
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