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Thread: hi

  1. #1
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    hi

    Hi all, just wanted to make a post while I have a little courage.

    I'm 31, college grad, and on disability for social phobias, severe depression, agoraphobia, and GAD.
    My life revolves around panic attacks and avoiding anything and everything that might cause them.
    So I rarely go out at all, and the only people I talk to are immediately family and the occasional person online.
    Even posting here is nerve-wracking, took me almost 2 weeks to just post this intro.

    I had cancer last year, and after surgery and radiation, they tell me I'm cured. The physical emergency is completely over, but the emotional scars are still there. Both my doctors and family seem to think that since the tumor is gone, everything should be just peachy. But the whole experience has done a real number on my mind, and even the safety of my home seems to be shaken. I'm angry all the time now, especially with the medical profession and my family, who were in such denial that they accused me of making it all up. It wasn't until they saw me in the hospital that they finally admitted something might be happening.

    But I do try not to dwell on these feelings, they just aren't constructive at all.
    I wanted to be a writer or a poet. Even got an English Lit degree, which looks good on a resume but doesn't make me employable :

    I was working on a fantasy novel a few years ago, but fear has me in a perpetual writer's block.
    I have a clear picture of how I want my life to be, but I have no idea how to get there from here.
    There have been a few baby steps recently, ie talking to the college here about taking accounting classes, maybe get a bookkeeping job. So maybe there's hope after all.

    Thanks for letting me ramble!!
    Hoping to find understanding souls or maybe just a fun place to visit.

  2. #2
    Skippy's Avatar Pickin' and Grinnin'!
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    Hey, welcome to AS! Hope the forum can be some help for ya. =]

  3. #3
    Otherside's Avatar
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    Welcome. And the doctors are wrong, it's understandable for you to be scarred after going through an illness like that. Have you tried talking to a councillor or something about it? (I know, it sounds like a cliche thing for me to say, and the whole green mod thing probably makes it sound like I'm quoting the party line =/)

    As for writer...fantasy writer here too. Nice to meet ya.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
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    Hi and welcome to the forum! And don't be so hard on yourself. Dealing with that kind of medical problem can do some real damage on your emotional state. I know at least 5 people who have gone through cancer treatment and all of them struggled with depression and anxiety. It takes time to heal.

    We can be a pretty supportive bunch here, so I hope you hang around and keep talking.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  5. #5
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    Hi, IHaveLotsOfFears!

    You should post some of what you write....we're a nervous bunch, though. We could have panic attacks .

  6. #6
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    Hey, welcome to AS!

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