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Thread: what to do ??

  1. #1
    Chloe's Avatar
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    what to do ??

    right tomorrow night I've got the option of sleeping round at matty's (my boyfriends) house which doesn't happen often, however we might be staying round at his dads house.
    The last time i did i had horrendous panic attacks and was a complete wreck. I was anxious and near mute all night before and after attack even when his dad was no where near me at the time (upstairs in bed). i don't know why but I've always been on edge when his dads around, again typical for me there's no reason for this.
    his dads a quiet guy who is really laid back. I've probably only met him a handful of times (as matty's parents are devoiced) but each time I've been really really edgy and nervous around him even though he's done nothing to warrant this. some people put me on edge first couple of times I meet them eg my manager from work, however I've dated matty 3 years now and I know hes a nice guy, one of the blokes really chilled out. I shouldn't be scared of him at all and yet I am. even now i can feel myself dreading it if I do decide one of the options. so what should i do, go and see matty stay round at his dads house confronting my fear/anxiety or do I say I cant go and avoid it this time ?? really stuck on this

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    Hi Chloe,

    You know, I'm one to trust my instincts. If I'm really uncomfortable about something, I fair better if I listen to my gut feeling. If you're that uncomfortable, I don't think forcing yourself to do it anyway will improve the discomfort. Sure, I think some things if taken in small steps will ease anxiety. But you're not even sure why you feel that way around him. Sometimes I get vibes too from certain people and just prefer to not be around them much. I also avoid snakes and being in a room of them won't make my anxiety and fear lessen.
    The Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about

  3. #3
    Chloe's Avatar
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    thing is though if i ever do get to see the guy its when me and matty spend the night round because of how far it is away from both of us. it just feels like im hiding away from my anxiety and letting it take control. im going to have to get use to the guy at some point if me and matty stay together as long as i hope i do.
    the last thing i want to do is make an excuse this time, the next time and the next. if i know something will set me off i try not to avoid it. i avoid gory things because thats a normal thing to be afraid of, however i dont avoid men and i dont avoid doing behaviours which may set me off because then its letting the anxiety take control. i dont want to end up hiding away in my house because ive said no to going outside because thats where my triggers are. which is why im so conflicted about this because if i dont go im letting the anxiety dictate me. but if i say yes i run the risk of panicking in public or in front of his dad which terrifies me to no end since i wont be in control of myself and i wont be able to

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    Lizard's Avatar
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    Did you have this problem with Matty way back when?

    Do you talk to this man? Other than panic, what is going through your mind? Can you convince yourself that every thing will be fine?

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    Chloe's Avatar
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    Don't think I understand your first question sorry

    I try to but he's not chatty around me so I generally stop talking incase I annoy him or something there's not often a lot sometimes I think keep quiet someone will here you, no (repeatedly), get off don't touch me stuff like that nothing really too inelegant not if I've started panicking or mini-panicking after that all I can do to calm myself down is just counting and and doing a breathing technique
    Plans have changed now. I told Matty and he was completely understanding said he wouldn't tell his dad we would stay at his mums overnight if I still wanted to stay, he asked me why and when I said I don't know he just said okay fair enough. I am really glad he puts up with this crap I give him.


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  6. #6
    Lizard's Avatar
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    Eh, don't worry about the first question.

    Glad your boyfriend is understanding.

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