So I've recently found out about HSP and have been doing a little bit of research. I'm going to give some background on traits I have which I think are caused by this, and then I have a few questions.
I've always been a sensitive girl, since I was a child. When I was 9, my parents split up and it effected me very dramatically, I developed a phobia of vomiting, and seperation anxiety (fear of being away from my mam) and panic attacks. I eventually got through it after around 2 years of different therapies etc. Since, I've still dealt with my anxiety and my fear of being sick but am happy to say it is a whole lot better. I've also dealt with several bouts of depression and fear of abandonment etc. I am now 20.
From doing my research on HSP, I've learned that it is not just related to emotions, which I originally thought, it's related to ALL senses, and this got me thinking.
I get extremely irritated, to the point of anger, at a lot of noises. Hearing the television through the wall in the next room gets me really annoyed, the same with music coming from somewhere far away.
In my house at dinner, we have to put the tv on while we eat because I get so extremely frustrated hearing people swallow their food. When trying to sleep, I have to wear foam ear plugs because the slightest sound irritates me and angers me.
I get startled easily. Sometimes when I'm in a room with someone from my family, both in silence, and then they say something, I jump with a fright.
In my house there is a main living room, and then a living area with a couch and tv in the kitchen. In the evenings, I like to sit at the couch in the kitchen with my laptop listening to music and reading things online or whatever ; It reallly bothers me when someone from my family comes into the room, I don't know why, I just get pissed off because I want to be left on my own and am bothered by anyone else being there.
I can't stand if the tv is too loud. My family always say there must be something seriously wrong with my hearing because I'm constantly giving out about people talking too loud or the tv being up too high.
These are just some of the things that I'm starting to wonder if they relate to HSP.
Then there are the emotional/spiritual/deeper issues. I have always been extremely empathetic. I seem to be able to pick up on people's emotions and my family always say I'm very good at knowing how someone is feeling and putting myself in their shoes, as well as knowing the right thing to say to someone.
I'm also very affected by other's emotions. if someone around me feels bad, I usually feel it in a way too.
I get very affected by what people say about me. I'll think about it for days after.
I have intense fears of doing something 'wrong', which effect me in a lot of ways, including sexually. I always feel the need to be reassured that I've not done anything bad.
I go into these weird phases which can last a couple of weeks at a time, where I just feel extremely spiritual and emotional and think very very deeply about things, moreso than usual. During these times, I tend to feel very overwhelmed and worry about things a lot. I become obsessed with certain topics or things that are going on in my life, worrying about things and trying to find answers, this can be very distressing and exhausting for me.
I feel very connected to my intuition. I recently was seeing someone for a while, and from the beginning had this incredibly strong 'bad' feeling that I couldn't shake, which effected me even when I wasn't with the person. That feeling has only gone away since I stopped seeing them.
I feel connected to my Grandmother who died before I was born, I sometimes think that she is my Guardian Angel and I get little signs from her. Apparently when I was little there was a few strange incident's where I said I'd seen her etc. (I'd never even met her), and my family constantly tell me just how much I am like her.
I have craaaazy dreams. I have experienced sleep paralysis too. I have preminitions in my dreams, just about little random things, but they are very real. In my dreams, I tend to feel emotions very strongly.
I am obsessed with love and relationships and finding someone who will understand me and care for me.
I get strong urges to be out in nature and be connected to the earth etc. I am very interested in holistics and have seen an energy healer twice. She said I have an extremely sensitive aura, which she told me is a good thing but It's exhausting!
Sometimes I just go so deep inside my own head and self. Sometimes I want to just get high and be out in nature and feel all of this magical stuff.. it makes me feel like there is something seriously wrong with me, some sort of mental illness..
I also am a bit of a hypochondriac, I obsessively worry that I have OCD(Ironic..), or other conditions and illnesses, and I look them up and research symptoms etc, quite like what I'm doing now with the whole HSP thing I guess..
A lot of the time I put some of these things down to PMS, but either way, I don't know anyone who experiences PMS as strongly as I do, so I keep thinking it's HSP. I just feel so overwhelmed with it all sometimes. I'm sure I have left out some of the other things I experience, I just have so many. I sometimes feel as though I'll never find anyone who's like me in this way, and it scares me and worries me. I feel like I'm on my own in this, that nobody will actually be able to understand because it's just all so.. deep and intense.
I guess my main question here is.. Do any of you guys experience this?
Do you know anything about it?
Do you mind sharing your own experience?
I'd also like to know some of the science behind it if possible.. I've been looking at videos on youtube about it and stuff, but I kinda wanna know is this a genetic thing, is it purely just a mental thing, is it classed as a mental illness or is it an actual physical condition?
ANY help, advice, stories or whatever related to this would be really nice.
Sorry about this being so long, but I really do appreciate it if you've taken the time to read it all.