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  1. #1
    nothing's Avatar Habitual Failure
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    Rambling nonsense post (not at all interesting)

    It never gets easier, not ever. My therapist wants me to go for walks in a local park area and I'm supposed to say hello to random people I see there, but I'm not doing it. I want to, I know that if I continue to sit in this bedroom isolated I'll NEVER get better, but I just can't stand the fear anymore. I'm beyond exhausted by all of the anxiety bullshit, I'm 34 and I've been a complete fucking failure since I was 11 or 12. Even before that, I was anxious, but it just keeps getting worse and worse, it never gets easier. I look at other people on the rare occasions I'm out and about and I honestly don't get it; how do these people do it? How can they stand the bullshit pleasantries? How are they communicating with others and looking happy about it? I never learned to do this and I never will. I just want all of the nervousness, awkwardness and misery to shut the [BEEP] up now; I'm sick to death of dealing with it. I can't deal with it anymore, all this struggling just isn't worth it. Why struggle just to get by? Well, I don't get by, so I can't even look to anything tangible and say "hey, it's all worth the struggle, look at how great some things are". I'm just going to go back to medicating myself to death again, this is all pointless. There's a thunderstorm moving in, I'm going to sit outside and pray to be struck by lightning. I doubt my prayer will be answered though, nothing is listening to those, nothing can help, life is a farce.

  2. #2
    Skippy's Avatar Pickin' and Grinnin'!
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    Life's full of bullshit yeah, but it ain't exactly a farce. People make it that way. I think a lot of people's frustration comes from the fact that were all expected to be a certain way, although i do get that if yer afraid of stuff it's really hard. Why not try saying hello to 1 random person as such? funny thing about that ya can be sure they'll prolly say the same and boom done, wasn't that bad sorta deal.
    I think it's more easier to get over fears when you're actually happy. But you don't need what society dictates to be so, people are just brainwashed into thinking that.

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