Do you struggle in making the right decision?

[luvcuddling2]

The meeting with my Pastor did not go well today. . .so bad in fact that I had to schedule an emergency meeting with my Therapist. . .my emotions are a mess. . .

Let me explain:

A year ago at the Church Rummage Sale I purchased a Cassette Player that I could use to put my songs on Cassette to my MP3 Player. The Cassette Player was missing some much needed parts to make it work correctly. The lady who sold me the Cassette Player guaranteed me that she had the missing parts and would bring them to the Church office.

That didn't happen. The Pastor got involved. Or let's say I got the Pastor involved.

The Pastor told me he would buy the parts needed. I told him that I didn't think he should bear the burden of doing so as the lady guaranteed me that she had the parts and would bring them to the Church office.

That didn't happen either.

OK so now it is all my fault. I am to blame.

What happened is that I saw the lady again at the Rummage Sale this year, this past Sunday in fact.

And things changed. A lot. It got. . .well. . .weird. Very weird. And uncomfortable. And emotional.

This lady gave me not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six full-bodied arms-wrapped-around-tight rubbing-the-back full-on hugs, her body pressed really tight against mine. And I was not the agressor. All advances were made by her. All of them. Whispering in my ear how sorry she was. Over and over.

She is married with three kids. I am beginning to wonder. Even gave me her phone number. Told me to call her. Told me she would be waiting for my call and she would answer. She once again promised me the Parts. And this time really promised them.

I just went to see her at the Sale to get the "damn parts" so I can get the Cassette Player to work.

Now I am confused. Still no parts. She doesn't answer her phone. What was up with those intimate hugs?

So I went back to the Pastor today. Well. . .he lit into me saying I should have let him buy the "damn parts" last year.

So I do something I feel was right in terms of not letting the Pastor bear the burden of the lady not following through on her committment. But I obviously made the wrong decision by not letting the Pastor purchase the "damn parts". I cannot win. Now I am a mess emotionally because I don't know what those hugs meant and now, according to the Pastor, I am all to blame for everything. . .I cannot win. . .

[nothing]

I don't want to be nasty here, but Pastors/Priests etc never make any sense at all. Not ever, they have no idea what they're talking about. I'll stop now before I get REALLY insulting. Sorry, it's a touchy subject with me.

As for this inappropriate lady, I know the type. I think they really do feel that they can help and they don't mean to cause any damage, they're 100% crazy and you should avoid them. I really do have experience with these people and they're dangerous. They like to seem like they're caring, understanding people and I realize they have their own psychological problems that cause them to do things like that, but you can't try to placate them; it'll really start to destroy you. They do things like that, the hugging and claiming to understand, then once you start to believe their nonsense, they disappear. They're narcissists, they're really caught up in themselves and think they can help everyone with any problems, but they obviously can't and they'll get hysterical and lash out at you if you try to let them know how destructive they are. I had a bad experience with one of them back in 2004/2005, she was a seemingly nice woman whom I was introduced to via a therapist, at first we were just supposed to go on walks together to get me out into the world. She quickly began trying to "help" me by making all manner of promises, she offered to give me a job at a business she was starting, she even claimed she was going to let me live at that business, it was a retreat out in a secluded place and she knew I was miserable about having to live with my mother. Well, after many months of helping her prepare this place by looking up information and helping her get certain licenses etc. I noticed that she was being flaky about the whole thing, she kept going on extended vacations while the contractor was working there. This was a bad idea, he tended to not do a damn thing while he knew she was away, I told her and she dismissed it. She got offended I guess, maybe she thought I was insinuating that it was her fault, but I was just letting her know that nothing got done while she was away. Eventually I wrote her a letter because she never answered her phone, it turned out she suddenly decided to go to Peru, I don't know who just decides on a whim to go to Peru, but she did. Anyway, I was pretty nice and polite in the letter, she had told me to keep a record of all the things I had done for her so she could pay me, I told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted. When I mentioned it again in the letter, how it wasn't necessary, wel, that obviously wasn't what she wanted to hear, because a month later she got back from Peru and read the letter. It didn't go over well. She got drunk and called me, she left very rude, threatening messages on my mother's phone because I had my cell turned off, it was basically a bunch of drunken ramblings laced with profanity. After that, she called the police on me and said I was sending her threatening emails. I'm not sure if she ever received any, but she didn't get them from me. It was probably porn spam from whomever sends that crap, but the police showed up at my door early one Saturday morning. They woke me up and asked me about it. I told them she was insane and played the messages I had saved, they eventually left and that was the last I heard of it.

This reply was way too long, but I was trying to illustrate a point; stay away from these unstable people, they're nothing but trouble and they'll hinder your progress, not help it.

[enfield]

The meeting with my Pastor did not go well today. . .so bad in fact that I had to schedule an emergency meeting with my Therapist.

this sentence made me laugh hehehe. im making it my signature now. ill leave it to other people comment on that situation involving those "damned parts" lol.

[luvcuddling2]

I feel honored that you added that to your signature! I also sent to you another one you may want to add in another post. . .the sad part is that what I stated actually happened. . .I went to see my Therapist exactly an hour after I met with the Pastor. . .she cleared some of her schedule to see me. . .she is a lot younger than me and recently married. . .but she is cute so at least my session is filled with some eye candy. . .

[merc]

The thing is I tend to meet really weird people such as described in these two postings. It's one of the reasons I kind of distance myself when interacting with people. If he or she tried to hug me I would have asked them to let go. I hate when strangers touch me. I agree with nothing stay away from this woman! Something is wrong with her. NOTHING YOU DID WAS WRONG! The pastor probably knows this woman is a loon and was trying to shield you by offering to buy the parts.

[AndrewsSmith]

Write down every option you have for the decision you’re making, get it out of your head and spend some quality time on each one.

[sanspants]

The thing is I tend to meet really weird people such as described in these two postings. It's one of the reasons I kind of distance myself when interacting with people. If he or she tried to hug me I would have asked them to let go. I hate when strangers touch me. I agree with nothing stay away from this woman! Something is wrong with her. NOTHING YOU DID WAS WRONG! The pastor probably knows this woman is a loon and was trying to shield you by offering to buy the parts.

This. I was going to write something very similar just now.

I make decisions with my heart and not my head, which gets me into trouble all over the place.

[Ironman]

My SA tends to SAdar them out, too. Fuh-REAKY!

[Skippy]

Write down every option you have for the decision you’re making, get it out of your head and spend some quality time on each one.

??? this reply makes no sense unless only referring to the title...?