Fear of dying in specific ways

[Keddy]

OK guys, I know this makes no sense because I've been suicidal before, but I have a fear of dying. In specific ways.

Ways I do not want to die (in no particular order):
Anything involving an airplane
Murder/rape/abduction/torture
Drowning
Fire
Gun violence
Hanging/strangulation/suffocation
Car accident

Ways I wouldn't mind dying (again, in no particular order):
Suicide
Terminal illness
Heart attack
Failed anesthesia during surgery
Drug overdose
Alcohol poisoning
Falling/accident

Does this make sense at all? There are situations where dying would be totally acceptable and I would be fine with it, but there are situations that terrify me and I would be totally afraid and not want it to happen. Does anyone else have this phobia? Where dying in certain ways scares you more than others? Thanks.
Keddy

[Chantellabella]

Ever since I was a small child I told people I wasn't afraid of dying. Still am not. It's because I believe that earth is hell and there is something way better after I die.

That being said, I have a strong will to survive also. I've faced death so many times in my life, that my only goal is to survive.

I have a question for you. Have you ever faced death? I'm not talking about suicide which is in your own control. I'm talking about people chasing you, raping you, knifing you, beating you, no food, no shelter, abandonment as a toddler, etc. I have ....over and over.

When you actually face death, you don't have time to think it's a good way or a bad way. You just fight until you are safely alive again.

So no matter what way death will come your way (except suicide which is totally in your control), you will probably fight it and not like it. I think we are programmed to survive.

The trick is to accept it if we lose the battle.

[Keddy]

Ever since I was a small child I told people I wasn't afraid of dying. Still am not. It's because I believe that earth is hell and there is something way better after I die.

That being said, I have a strong will to survive also. I've faced death so many times in my life, that my only goal is to survive.

I have a question for you. Have you ever faced death? I'm not talking about suicide which is in your own control. I'm talking about people chasing you, raping you, knifing you, beating you, no food, no shelter, abandonment as a toddler, etc. I have ....over and over.

When you actually face death, you don't have time to think it's a good way or a bad way. You just fight until you are safely alive again.

So no matter what way death will come your way (except suicide which is totally in your control), you will probably fight it and not like it. I think we are programmed to survive.

The trick is to accept it if we lose the battle.

Cindy, thank you for your reply. It was very insightful. You're a really wise woman and I find that I learn a lot from your posts, I have a lot of respect for you and I admire you. I'm sorry you've been through all those things. You're really brave.
No, other than suicide attempts and a bad car accident, I haven't faced death in the ways that you're talking about. I'm sure that if I had, I would have a different perspective on this entire subject. I totally understand what you meant by "The trick is to accept it if we lose the battle." That's part of why I'm not afraid to die in certain ways, such as from a terminal illness or a heart attack, etc. I would just accept it as it happened and I'd probably be at peace.
My phobias seem to be of dying in a really brutal manner, like from being tortured or set on fire or drowning. It's a confusing and complex thing for me to explain, I guess. I do worry a lot about death, and it may be from existential anxiety to a point. I wonder a lot about what my purpose is for being here and that sort of thing. Ah well, it's a bit difficult for me to explain what I mean, like I can think it but I'm having trouble wording it. I hope what I said made sense at least.
Again, thank you for your reply. It was really helpful to hear it from your perspective
Keddy

[Harpuia]

After having a near death experience, twice, I think my fear of dying is officially over with.