Going to be honest...

[Harpuia]

So I'm going to be honest, even though I am making a good recovery and all from my current illness, I kind of know I'm a little screwed at this point when it comes to meeting people. Yeah, I guess physically I look a lot better, what from gaining 40 pounds in 4 months, but I know the challenges that lie for me with my current illness.

For those that do remember me, nearly died in the ER back in March 2014 and was diagnosed with Chron's Disease, which I have lived undiagnosed for the last seven years, and one of the challenges for me beating this thing is to be as not anxious and not stressed as possible. I thought I had problems meeting people before, well... I can only imagine what people would think of me adding this crazy thing on to the mix.

One thing I have learned over the past few months is this illness really lets you know who your real friends are. I lost several friends on the course of this and several more only pretending to give support because my family has been nursing me back to health on one of the strictest-ass diets known to man. Anyway, I feel like I just have to rant.

And relationships? Hah! Relationships... yeah... that's totally going to work out. I mentioned a little while back my one wish in life was to find true unconditional (well, as close to unconditional as one can be) love, and that is totally happening now. [/sarcasm] Physically I look better (was 120 for most of my life, now I weigh about 160), but atm I really have no life and outside of finding someone online who is caring, understanding, and wants to come down and see me, I am pretty much screwed there as well.

Now my job? Well, let's just hope I can keep my job... I go back to work in six and a half weeks to begin the next round of treatment.

So I guess this rant and frustration post is also an inspiration post for anyone who has a bad day. For those of you who have a bad day and think your lives are tough, hey, it could be worse. You could have severe severe Chron's disease.

[Chantellabella]

So I'm going to be honest, even though I am making a good recovery and all from my current illness, I kind of know I'm a little screwed at this point when it comes to meeting people. Yeah, I guess physically I look a lot better, what from gaining 40 pounds in 4 months, but I know the challenges that lie for me with my current illness.

For those that do remember me, nearly died in the ER back in March 2014 and was diagnosed with Chron's Disease, which I have lived undiagnosed for the last seven years, and one of the challenges for me beating this thing is to be as not anxious and not stressed as possible. I thought I had problems meeting people before, well... I can only imagine what people would think of me adding this crazy thing on to the mix.

One thing I have learned over the past few months is this illness really lets you know who your real friends are. I lost several friends on the course of this and several more only pretending to give support because my family has been nursing me back to health on one of the strictest-ass diets known to man. Anyway, I feel like I just have to rant.

And relationships? Hah! Relationships... yeah... that's totally going to work out. I mentioned a little while back my one wish in life was to find true unconditional (well, as close to unconditional as one can be) love, and that is totally happening now. [/sarcasm] Physically I look better (was 120 for most of my life, now I weigh about 160), but atm I really have no life and outside of finding someone online who is caring, understanding, and wants to come down and see me, I am pretty much screwed there as well.

Now my job? Well, let's just hope I can keep my job... I go back to work in six and a half weeks to begin the next round of treatment.

So I guess this rant and frustration post is also an inspiration post for anyone who has a bad day. For those of you who have a bad day and think your lives are tough, hey, it could be worse. You could have severe severe Chron's disease.

Hey, my friend. Sorry I didn't see this sooner. It sounds like life has pretty much turned to sucking for you with this disease. I know someone who has had it for over 20 years now and I agree...........it's no fun at all.

Don't give up though. I know it seems pretty miserable right now, but things have to get better. My grandmother calls this kind of season for you a "cat [BEEP] season." (or day or week). She said that you're having a cat-shit day which is a good sign. The good sign is that after stepping in cat shit, your day has GOT to get better. So maybe think that the worst is over or even maybe just take a day or two at a time. My friend does that and tries not to think about her future too much.

[Harpuia]

It's gotten slightly better, but it's not the Crohn's that's the issue anymore. It's how certain people in my life respond to it that is making my life harder than it should be.

[Chantellabella]

It's gotten slightly better, but it's not the Crohn's that's the issue anymore. It's how certain people in my life respond to it that is making my life harder than it should be.

I know you've said that you lost some friends recently. That makes it hurt even worse, huh?

[Harpuia]

I know you've said that you lost some friends recently. That makes it hurt even worse, huh?

Pretty much. If I explained my whole situation, you'd see why I'm in a lot more trouble than I should be.

I'm in one of those situations most would say they wish they were dead. But I'm playing it out anyway.

[Chantellabella]

Pretty much. If I explained my whole situation, you'd see why I'm in a lot more trouble than I should be.

I'm in one of those situations most would say they wish they were dead. But I'm playing it out anyway.

Well, throw the whole wishing you were dead thing out the window, ok? I've told many people here to hang in there because I promise it will get better. I've been around for a very long time and even the darkest times, get a reprieve.

[Harpuia]

I'll just see what happens in November chant.