Is anyone else dealing with...?

[joyful_cara557]

I'm still new here and I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this, and it's a little embarrassing and nerve-wracking for me, but here goes nothing. I have GAD and I'm just wondering if anyone else is worrying about the same specific stuff I am. Mainly my GAD comes out when I'm home alone, or when I'm about to go to sleep. My thing is, I'm terrified that something will happen to me. I've always had trouble sleeping, and when I was little I used to go to my parents' room and sleep with them. And I did that for a long time. Now I'm old enough that I know they won't tolerate it, and so I'm left with nothing to help. I sleep with a light on and a dog, and a t.v., but none of this helps. I've also tried sleeping with none of those things, but that makes it worse. Anyway. Usually I lay in bed, awake, until I'm so tired that I absolutely have to sleep and I pass out. I'm afraid that a) someone will come into my house and kill me(shoot me, stab me, whatever) or b) I'll die from something internally(heart attack, brain aneurysm, etc). Even if I'm not sleeping and it's the middle of the day, I'll still have these feelings if I'm home alone. I'm twenty two and I still live at home because I know if I try to live alone this will get even worse. I'm just wondering if anyone else has this problem and has tips or solutions to help me? Also maybe just talking about it to someone who feels like this will help too. Maybe it'll make me feel less alone? Sorry this was super long but I wanted to really explain it and make sure people get what I'm trying to say. Anyone got any advice for me? Because at this point I'm open to anything.

[merc]

This sounds so much like my son. He is 10. He is afraid of the dark. I used to be when smaller. I swear that the house I grew up in was haunted. I would hear oddball sounds and see odd ball shadows. My Mom would always firmly say, there is nothing there. Finally one night she told me, even if you do see this,a shadow that would walk down the hall; "Has it ever tried to hurt you in any way?"

My honest answer was, No. Once when I was older a sister and I were playing hide and seek outside in the fall, when it gets dark early. I thought I found my older brother, but something wasn't right. Now it was starting to get foggy. I called her over and showed her. She was like yelling his name and moving toward him, but I held her back. This misty figure walked out of the basement carrying a bucket, followed by a misty looking cat heading out toward the barn.

It was obviously someone doing chores, not interested in us in the slightest. I was thrilled someone else saw it and that I wasn't crazy; as my Mom always implied. I calmed down from that point on and was no longer afraid of the dark. However, my sister remembers it as one of the scariest things she's ever seen.

I believe in ghosts. I have always seen them. Now, that I'm older. I do not see them much??? I'm not really actively staying awake looking for them. This is my time on earth. I'm spiritual and do not believe that when we die we cease to exist. I also believe we were sent her to take on a physical form so our spirits will grow and learn.

Anyway, if I were you, I would try to determine what is the underlying fear? Death, Physical harm, mental harm, loss of control. This world is not permanent as scientists say one day the wold itself will die. Religions know this fact as well. "We are not seeking a permanent kingdom here, but one which is to come."

Believing and trusting in God has helped me sleep. I hope I didn't in any way add to your fears. The good and bad things that happen to you here are helping your spirit to grow. Some people who don't particularly believe in religion believe that people contain a piece of energy from the universe, what gives us our consciousness, and that through our experiences we are helping it, God, the universe learn and grow.

No matter who you are or what you believe in , there is a great mystery as to why we are here. I have trouble believing that our existence is solely the results of evolution and chance.

There is one of those famous quotes about sleep I can't remember who by or if I'll get it correct but it goes something like: "Sleep those little snatches of death that elude me."

[Nightingale]

I don't have much to add to merc's post, as it pretty much says what I believe, too.

Confronting my fears has been the most effective way to lessen their hold on me. Aside from my current situation, I've had anxiety over really goofy phobias - just dumb stuff like being in bed at night and worrying (replaying over and over in my mind) the fear of tripping when I get in the pool to swim, and hitting my mouth on the concrete edge. Like knocking a tooth out and splitting my lip. The blood, the water - it's like a movie that replays in my head until I have to literally tell myself, "THERE ISN'T A POOL ANYWHERE NEAR YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU'VE NEVER TRIPPED GETTING INTO THE POOL, THE FLOOR ISN'T SLICK WHEN IT'S WET - WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU STRESSING OVER THIS - STOP BEING STUPID AND GO TO SLEEP."

Because, to me, it is stupid.

The bigger things, the real anxiety I deal with due to what I've been through, I have to handle in almost the same way. Just like merc's mother told her.

"Okay, so what if he does come after me? What will I do about it?" Then I go thru my solutions.

"Is what that person said about my career true? Did I do those things?" No, I didn't. They can say whatever lies they want. Just because they said it doesn't make it true.

"What if this does drag on for years? What if everything falls apart, even though it was wrong, illegal, and should be stopped?" I did everything I could, everything in my control and in my power. I can hold my head up knowing I used the justice system properly, honestly, and I went as far as I could to bring them to justice.


Ooops. Sorry - I guess I had more to add than I originally thought.

[joyful_cara557]

I appreciate you guys responding! I think the thing that scares me the most is dying. The reason I'm so scared is because, like I said, I'm only twenty two. I've always wanted to travel, see the world, get married and have kids one day. And if I died while I was still this young, I wouldn't be able to do any of those things, I wouldn't be able to live a full life. I thought about how religion could play into this and honestly, my family and I used to go to church, but we stopped. I'm not very religious now, and I don't think I was back then, either, but I do believe in a higher power. It's just that this higher power doesn't make me feel secure or safe or confident. I just want to be able to live my life without being so afraid of death.

[Chloe]

I feel this way sometimes when I'm home alone and during the day. I've never been a good sleeper my parents describe it as sleep deprivation torture haha and what's worse I would get upset about falling asleep because I was so tired and couldn't sleep and i would always get into trouble for getting up going into my parents night and falling asleep and keeping them awake so they'd move me back in my room only for me to go back. I wet the bed until an old age and when I had my sister I would keep her up as well. My parents tried everything from sleepy cough medication which makes you drosy, herbal remedies such as lavender Smells as well as others. even sleep tablets at one point. Routines were strictly followed of bath and have a book read to you in bed.
I'm still bad with it now some nights I'll have four hours for about a week. Things that work best to help me go to sleep and stop thoughts of people coming into my house and hurting me is locking everything up, shutting all curtains, closing doors to rooms I don't need to go into eg sister and parents room. I leave lights on in rooms such as the bathroom hallway kitchen, not that I'm saying this is the solution but a glass of wine or two helps me sleep longer and easier not as fulfilling of a sleep but still is sleep. Nice calm music (Michael buble is great for that) a cold room and warm sheets, a hoodie or something that smells like my boyfriend helps loads especially if I've recently panicked and he's had to leave me. It's figuring out what works for you. I wouldn't nock the effects or a relaxing bath or shower before bed either. Exercise always helps tier me out for sleep. When I did 8 hours at the stables running shovelling tacking up brushing I slept like a baby after a shower and food.

[joyful_cara557]

I see what you're saying, Chloe. I did a workout class with a friend and every night when I got home I would eat dinner, take a shower, watch some t.v. and then I'd be so tired that it was easier for me to sleep. But I don't think I'll ever be able to really enjoy sleeping until I get over this fear of death, which is really what I need help with. But the thing is, I don't know how I can get over it. I don't know what kind of therapy to do or what to do to convince myself, my brain, that nothing is going to happen to me.

[Chloe]

Hmm why not go to the doctors or look up statistics of how likely is is for those health problems to happen to you (hopefully they're all really obscure and not likely to happen which from the sounds of it they are. You could also do things which reduce the risk of you having it which generally means eating a healthy balanced low fat/sugar diet and getting Vitamins and being a healthy weight. Which wouldn't hurt if you are or aren't likely to have those problems

You could write a quote of what your doctor says about your health or the likelihood of that happening down as well as those figures which show how unlikely those health problems would be likely to happen to you. Even leaving them by the bed to read when you do get anxious could help you remember them when your stressed. Unfortunately I can't relate too much other than sympathising with how it must feel but if I was in your shoes I'd imagine that doing that stuff would help a lot

[Otherside]

I'm not sure if this is the same thing, but I commonly freak out about some severe health problem that I am supposedly suffering from based on relatively (or even no symptoms, or symptoms which are explained by something else). First it was a brain tumour - slight headaches caused by heat, along with nausea from heat. No brain tumour whatsoever.

Next it was Huntingdon's disease. Evidenced by the fact that I have mood swings, one symptom of it. I have bipolar disorder, and medication works for that, and I have no family history of it.

And then lastly, it was Cyclic Vomitting Syndrome...which turned out to be a stomach acidity problem, which was easily treated.