Should I get help or is it not bad enough?

[Loveschickens]

I haven't seen a professional yet, I can't afford to pay for it unless it is really necessary, so I was wondering if you guys could let me know whether or not this warrants going to see someone.

I have always been a pretty nervous person but not enough to disrupt my life that much until about a year ago and the last month or so it has gotten much worse since I've moved back onto campus into an apartment where I have my own bedroom with a short bed.The reason this is an issue for me is because I am perpetually terrified that someone is going to sneak into my room and murder me. Last year I lived had two roommates and slept on a very tall loft bed so this helped alleviate my (irrational) fear enough to where I wasn't miserable and constantly hyper vigilant. This year though I lay awake listening for any sound that could mean an intruder was in my unit and I constantly watch the door. Before bed I check (multiple times) that the door is locked and the windows are locked with the blinds pulled as well. This wouldn't seem so crazy if it wasn't for the fact that I live on the 5th floor with no balcony, why I'm afraid of someone coming in through the window I have no clue. If I have to get up to pee in the middle of the night I have to take a screw driver with me (for self defense against imaginary serial killers) and I whip around corners cop style so nobody can get the drop on me. When I get into the bathroom I close and lock the door as quickly as possible. When I'm done I have to gather my courage just to open the door which can take up to 10 minutes on a bad night. Then I'm looking at the reflection of what is behind me while I was my hands so no one can sneak up on me. Then I whip around corners into my bedroom and shut and lock the door once I have verified there is no serial killer waiting for me in there. I crawl into bed and set the screw driver on the bedside table, then I lie awake just staring at the door like a damn maniac. When I do fall asleep I wake up often because I have horribly vivid nightmares of a man standing in the doorway, then I check that it is locked and fall asleep only to repeat the process 2 hours later. This happens EVERY. NIGHT. and twice now I have stayed awake until sunrise out of fear. I am plenty anxious during the summer when I live with my family but nothing like this, I think this is probably because I have two protective dogs and my dad in the house. I am anxious almost all day but mostly at night, and it is tiring. I've tried calming teas, writing my anxieties and why they are irrational, and guided meditation geared towards anxiety (youtube) but none of this does much. The meditation seems most effective but I am always sideways glancing at the door which you are obviously not supposed to do. What do you guys think? Should I see someone? If so which treatments should I ask about? I would like to avoid medications if possible (afraid of side effects) so is there some other options you suggest based on your personal experiences? Any feedback is appreciated. Sorry for the long read and thank you for your time

[QuietCalamity]

It sounds like your anxiety has a big impact on your life and your ability to sleep. Personally, I just started therapy because I finally have insurance that makes it affordable. I feel I am already benefiting just being able to talk to someone who can help me come to terms with the source of my anxiety.

If you are in college it is extremely likely that your university offers free counseling. Many students benefit from counseling to help them adjust to all the life changes.

[Chantellabella]

It sounds like your anxiety has a big impact on your life and your ability to sleep. Personally, I just started therapy because I finally have insurance that makes it affordable. I feel I am already benefiting just being able to talk to someone who can help me come to terms with the source of my anxiety.

If you are in college it is extremely likely that your university offers free counseling. Many students benefit from counseling to help them adjust to all the life changes.

I was just going to say the same thing. I was able to get some free therapy as well as group therapy in college.

[Otherside]

If you're on college or in uni, see if they offer any sort of counseling/therapy service. Most will do, and that may be helpful.

If not and you want to look into getting help, there are free/cheaper options. Some charities will offer CBT therapy (which is basically what you have done, writing down anxious thoughts and why they are irrational, but it helps you learn to think in other ways such as to reason with yourself. EG - If you were to say hello to someone on the street and they didn't say hello back, and you instantly start panicking that they hate you. Or it could be because they didn't hear you, they had a bad day and they're distracted, etc etc) or group therapy for free, or for a donation of a few dollars or so.

I can understand the medication thing, and it may not be needed to treat it. A lot of people can deal with there anxiety just with therapy alone.