[BEEP] everyone and [BEEP] myself

[nothing]

Okay, I'm a loser. I'll never be able to talk to women and that's all I want. All I want is love and I'll never have it. I can't do this andf I'm fucking sick of trying. Nobody will EVER recover from social anxiety, you're fucking stupid for having hope.

We WILL NOT ever recover or make improvement, this is stupid and pointless, [BEEP] everyone who has hope; you're deluding yourself.

[BEEP] everyone, I hope you all suffer as much as I do, this site is fucking dumb and nobody here will ever make any progress.

It's hopeless, [BEEP] this site for even existing.

[L]

I'm sorry your feeling this way -

[Skippy]

That very kinda thinking is usually what does someone in, and later they end up thinking "I wasted time I coulda spent enjoying life..."
If all one wants is love tho that usually leads to bad stuff, cuz ya end up relying on other people for happiness.

I dunno how to tell someone to get over SA tho. I've tried to describe how *I* think, not giving crap bout what anyone thinks and being afraid of almost nothing but all I got was arguments from people saying they'll never change n' told by the other staff never to speak of it again, so I gave up tryin to help people here, sadly.

[IllusionOfHappiness]

That very kinda thinking is usually what does someone in, and later they end up thinking "I wasted time I coulda spent enjoying life..."
If all one wants is love tho that usually leads to bad stuff, cuz ya end up relying on other people for happiness.

I dunno how to tell someone to get over SA tho. I've tried to describe how *I* think, not giving crap bout what anyone thinks and being afraid of almost nothing but all I got was arguments from people saying they'll never change n' told by the other staff never to speak of it again, so I gave up tryin to help people here, sadly.

That's because you don't tell somebody to "get over it". For many of us, it's a lifelong struggle and what you could benefit from in a month might take someone else a year. We're all suffering at different levels and for different reasons and our anxieties started at different ages and the list just goes on and on forever. Ultimately it's up to the individual to figure out what method(s) work best for him or her. Sharing and suggesting are wonderful and always encouraged and appreciated, but there is no one solution for everybody. You completely misunderstood everything that was said. Nobody was trying to argue, they were only sharing their experiences. Anxiety isn't just a phase for a lot of us - it's been there since we were born. This makes it extremely difficult because it's as if you're re-learning how to do everything.

Anyway. Didn't mean to derail the thread.

[IllusionOfHappiness]

nothing - I hope you feel better soon. I don't really know what else to say, since being in a state of hopelessness surely isn't going to be reversed by a random person on the internet, but we can try!

[QuietCalamity]

I'm sorry your suffering has been so tremendous, Nothing, but no one has been anything but nice to you here. Your pain is not an excuse to be so rude.

There are plenty of people here who are suicidal at times. How would you feel if someone read this and killed themselves?

ETA: After re-reading this, I thought it sounded harsh. I really do feel sympathy and empathy for you here Nothing. I realize that hopelessness is one of the most difficult emotions one can deal with, and I can only assume that someone probably said something similar to you at some point, which would have been horribly unfair and painful. But I have zero tolerance for abuse, especially abuse directed at my friends.

[Inscrutable Banana]

Ah, good old hopelessness, I know thee all too well.

Your posts had been getting a little more positive for a while, I'm sorry you seem to have hit another rough patch. I hope you can lift your spirits enough to keep trying.

[Sagan]

I hope you feel better soon Nothing. SA and anxiety in general is a lifelong struggle. Sometimes medication and or therapy can help make things a little easier, but there is no cure. I thought like that for the longest time. But I have improved a bit over the years. My mother just recently passed away. While it was a very sad and tragic loss (she was my best friend and someone who I spent most of my time with) I was forced to put my anxiety and SA aside to take care of business, Ask for help for funeral expense, Calling funeral homes to find the cheapest one around, making arrangements, and finally going in and meeting with the funeral home and doing paperwork and answering all kinds of questions.

Anyway my point is that as long as I had something to focus on, to distract my self, I would almost forget about my SA. You want to meet and talk to women. Try and make it a goal and start small. Smile at or say hi to women in passing or at the grocery store. Ask questions, what do you like to do for fun? What movies do you like, music? . Most people love talking about themselves. Even if your not a great conversationalist, it will show express interest and is a simple way to at least get a conversation going.

My problem is I just have a blank mind most of the time. I just can't think of anything to say. Even when I was married, and I was for 5 years, I just couldn't think of anything to say.

Check out http://www.succeedsocially.com/ lot's of good tips there.

[Total Eclipse]

**Thread Lock**

Hello. I'm sorry I didn't see this thread until just now. For now I'm going to lock this thread. But Anxiety Space does not support belittling of any sort.... and sort a few other things out discreetly (Including sending several PM's) ... Please don't think if your getting a PM it's "bad" as most likely; it isn't. All guidelines are applied to members and staff of the site and I don't want people to think otherwise, as that simply isn't true.

Guidelines

Belittlement and Intolerance

Anxiety Space has a clear mission of supporting all sufferers, excluding no-one. Sufferers should be welcomed and given your understanding, you should never belittle or dismiss their suffering. Anxiety Space can also used to share advice, but that advice should not be forced onto anyone who doesn't want advice and the person also shouldn't be blamed for not taking the advice. Above all, be courteous and respectful. Belittlement and Intolerance may include:

• Arguing who has it worst, e.g. [blank] has it worse than [blank], or I rather have [blank] than [blank].
• Suggesting some people can not suffer or is better placed therefore can't suffer.
• Patronising, condescending or talking down to others, e.g. saying don't be a baby or just get over it.
• Making others feel threatened, intimidated or vulnerable, either directly or indirectly, i.e. bullying.
• Downplaying the suffering of others or suggesting their suffering is not as bad as your own.
• Assigning undue blame on a person, people or groups of people for your suffering.
• Dismissing or downplaying others' suffering because of their appearance, age, occupation, disability, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, nationality, religion, race, health conditions or type of suffering. Disagreement over what goes into these characteristics is not a legitimate excuse.

Thank you all for understanding