Serotonin Withdrawal

[QuietCalamity]

I've already posted about this several times on other threads, but I was hoping for some support so I'll post again.

This is a really complicated story, but last week I found out my insurance will not cover my Viibryd. Starting two weeks ago. I had to pay out of pocket for a short supply and my doctor's office called to say they sent in an Rx for Lexapro 10mg. I was NOT confident that I could just stop taking 40mg of Viibryd and start a totally different SSRI and be cool, but the nurse I spoke to on the phone had an attitude like, "Yeah, idiot, it's fine." I had enough Viibryd to last a few more days so I decided not to switch to Lexapro until my 4day weekend just in case I felt a little funny.

Well I felt more than a little funny. I had full on serotonin withdrawal syndrome. It turns out 10mg is the starting dose for Lexapro. The Viibryd I was on also started at 10mg, but I was built up to 40mg. So basically the Lexapro is doing [BEEP] all for my serotonin levels right now. I'm past the brain zaps, the vivid nightmares, the terrifying anxiety out of nowhere, the confusion and poor orientation to reality. Right now I am just incredibly depressed. Every movement takes so much effort. I can hardly get myself to move from the bed to the couch.

What's worse is that I have been home alone basically the entire time. On Thurs Tim went to Thanksgiving, snowblowed the whole driveway (we have a very large driveway so that was 3+ hours) plus several paths in the yard, complained about how tired he was, then fell asleep on the couch. Yesterday he left in the early afternoon for his friend's to play video games and work on his car and he wasn't back until after midnight. Today he left first thing to get his tires changed, went shopping, came home to eat lunch, and his friend showed up to help chop wood. They will be out in the woods all night. He knows I've been going through withdrawals and I'm super depressed but he just says "I can't help it, it has to be done." He is supposed to be home tomorrow, but I don't even want to be around him right now because I'm just hurting. Especially because I didn't know he planned on spending the whole weekend with his friend. Even if I was fine I'd be at least a little pissed.....

So basically I have been home alone crying in the dark nonstop for the last 3 days. And it sucks.

[Inscrutable Banana]

Well, I can't argue against daily responsibilities needing to be taken care of despite the unfortunate situation you've found yourself in regards to your medication; however, he could have been more articulate and empathetic with his response to the current situation.

That being said, based on your description I do feel that the way he has chosen to spend his time outside of the obligatory life stuff during this time is a bit neglectful. Normally it would be expected that he have time to leave for a while to hang out with friends and work on his car (assuming it was just gearhead tinkering and not essential maintenance/repair), but under the special circumstances of you feeling extreme lows and withdrawal symptoms from a sudden change with your medication he should be going out of his way to spend more time with you until things balance out a bit. It's understandable that you would feel disheartened, frustrated, and incensed by it to some extent.

I hope you can get your medication sorted out soon and regain some stability, preferably without having to interact with any more abrasive nurses.

[QuietCalamity]

Thank you for replying, Banana. I'm not so much upset that he had other things to do besides keep me company, it's just that I felt so very lonely going through everything 100% alone. Physically I felt at least as bad as I did when I had a particularly intense flu, except I was much more isolated because I don't have anyone else in my life that I can talk to about these things. And when I posted here I kind of expected people to have had similar experiences at least enough to generate some support. But of course I didn't get any replies to my posts and that hurt.

Thanks for listening, Banana.

[Inscrutable Banana]

It certainly seems like you have a lot weighing you down at the moment, and feeling isolated on top of that is no bueno at all. I've spent most of my life feeling rather isolated; it's painful to want to talk to someone but to have no one to talk with. Hopefully you'll start feeling better soon.