Hi there, I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, ocd, ect. It all started back with a specific incident back when I was 4 which led to traumatic level nightmares followed shortly by daymares(things like hearing many voices whispering loudly together, seeing colorful letters floating in my closet, seeing faces on my posters move, ect which led to things like demonic critters crawling along the walls and ceiling.)
All in all I believe the trauma was worth it. My childhood self reacted by gaining lucidity followed by dream control. For a long time now I have been lucid in almost all of my dreams and over my lifetime through much practice I have been able to reach levels of dream control which most in the LD communities likely wouldn't even believe possible. Though shared dreaming still eludes me i have accomplished much, including extreme dilation of perception of time within my dreams and the ability to create my own full blown hallucinations or daydreams while awake. As a result I have spent the majority of my life in dreams which I believe to be vastly more interesting than IRL. Call me an escapist and I wouldn't argue.
I have been put on many different meds over my lifetime but most did no good, and the few that did help some were not worth the side effects. I have not used meds in a long time and prefer to treat my symptoms through mental control. I still have sudden spontaneous symptoms such as whispering or demonic manifestation but as long as i recognize something as a hallucination it is usually fairly easy to kill it by sort of painting over the hallucination with my own controlled hallucination.
So yea, I am new to this forum and will stop now before this post gets too lengthy. I apologize for rambling.
Reply With Quote
I think your intro post was perfect! It explains your struggles well.
