What isn't bothering me? I am just so upset with myself on a daily basis. Yesterday I had an amazing start to the day. I exercised in the morning like I haven't been for a while (since the pandemic started I've been pretty bad about working out and have gained some fat) and felt great. Then on my way into work, I initiated a social interaction with someone. And while I was annoyed with myself for not being more charismatic, I felt really optimistic that I did that because it's a big step for me.
But since then, I've been back to my old ways. No talking to anyone, spend more time daydreaming than working on my goals... man, I don't even know what my regrets are anymore... do I have the strength to change my habits tonight? To make progress, and get back to my OLD old ways?
I don't know... at least if not, I can daydream about having lots of friends and being happy.
Someone tried being friendly with me for ulterior motives pushing questions out of me I didn't feel comfortable with and didn't make me feel safe.
Sainnot don't beat yourself up, we all have days we need breaks Your exercise was just the first step. Make small goals per day. That seems to have been a huge goal for you to tackle yesterday and maybe that was all that you could handle and that's quite ok. I'm proud of you!
What would you do with a neighbour who ignored you for about 10 years and now wants to be your new best friend? I told the mother to tell her to go feck off. She booted all her own sons out of the house. So is now in there alone. Sending Easter cards with a little gift. Telling my mother she will go to the hospital with her today for a follow up appointment. My mother refused the offer. This is a woman who ruined any friendships she ever made over the years. Never cared what went on in her own house because she was never there. Talking wild parties nearly every weekend and rave music every day of the week. The height of the music. At times the music might even come on at 1am. Lord knows we were at war with her and her sons for years. We never held back at all. Suddenly she is acting like nothing ever happened. Like she is a Saint of a person who wants to be there for you. She can feck off and go drive others crazy with her depressive moods. meaning all she ever talks is bloody doom and gloom. Like her sons left her alone in the house. When it was her who kicked them out. At best I simply smile and say hello and leave it at that.
The Lovable Irish Rogue
Just ONE day without a random spike in anxiety would be fantastic, thanks universe....
Let me remain where there is light
Having low self esteem is one hell of a drug.
Here we have a Prince that died on Friday. He was 99 and had heart problems, so it is not unexpected.
I feel really bad saying this - because someone has died and all - but does this have to be plastered everywhere? Our national broadcaster - BBC - has pretty much cancelled everything the last two days to have Prince Phillip related broadcasts. Nothing on the radio but Prince Phillip. Cant even open the app with my Train Tickets on without a "Urgent announcement- Prince is dead" popping up.
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I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......