happy I did something I was anxious about only to have it dissed.

[merc]

I'm a little upset, instead of being happy that I did something that caused me great anxiety. My husband was like well you should have gotten proof. I had to go to the bank and see if a check was cashed. It was, but I forgot to get proof of it being cashed. So my husband was mad at me. I said I'll go get it tomorrow. He's like all happy ok. I slammed the phone down.

I realize that maybe this shouldn't be an anxiety provoking event because it went rather smoothly, but now since I have to go back and get what I forgot to get , I look even more stupid. I can never win and no one is ever on my side. My husband is like what the hell are you talking about.

He's nice to people who always give me the evil eye. I'm not too friendly though especially to these woman who think that they are better than me. My husband is oblivious to non-verbal communication. That little annoyed frown someone gives you when you enter a room. It's like super quick and then they are all phony nice. It's stuff like that that sets my anxiety off and makes me never want to rejoin humans....I really didn't want to talk to her anyway, so I ignored her and talked with someone who I actually like.

[nothing]

It's frustrating dealing with someone you care about who simply just does not understand how your anxiety works, but since the first time went smoothly I think you can count the event as a win. When you go back and get that proof, it'll be an even bigger win!

[merc]

Thanks for responding. I really hate to appear stupid and it took a lot of effort on my half to do something I really would have liked to avoided and although I realize it is something relatively small, but for some reason my anxiety levels have been very high lately.

[Chantellabella]

Thanks for responding. I really hate to appear stupid and it took a lot of effort on my half to do something I really would have liked to avoided and although I realize it is something relatively small, but for some reason my anxiety levels have been very high lately.

You didn't appear stupid. I promise. And it was big so don't minimize the experience. I'm proud of you.

And to be honest, I've gone into banks or government agencies where people look like they hate you. It's either lack of customer service training, they hate their job, or they're so bored to death and feeling so out of control that the only thing they can intimidate are the customers. I have a government job and I love what I do. But I've seen my co-workers look at people like it's all their fault that they aren't rock stars.

In regards to your husband's comment: are you married to my ex? Just kidding. My ex had such a low self esteem that the only way he could feel superior is to 1) belittle me or 2) smack me across the room. I had 2 frickin Masters degrees and made more money than he did at one point and he insisted that I had no sense, was irresponsible, stupid and crazy. When I accomplished something he would say, "but you forgot to" or "but you didn't." When I read your comment, it just reminded me of my old dear ex idiot. Stayed married to him for 30 years, then woke up one day saying, "ok. I'm done being the bad guy."

[nothing]

Thanks for responding. I really hate to appear stupid and it took a lot of effort on my half to do something I really would have liked to avoided and although I realize it is something relatively small, but for some reason my anxiety levels have been very high lately.

Doesn't appear stupid to me, you did more than I have lately (as in the last 20 years). I'm in no condition to comment any further in my current state.

[Kesky]

Thanks for responding. I really hate to appear stupid and it took a lot of effort on my half to do something I really would have liked to avoided and although I realize it is something relatively small, but for some reason my anxiety levels have been very high lately.

I tend to beat myself up even when, in actuality, what I did was just fine....maybe I didn't think to do something...or I forgot something.....or I did something but made a mistake. I'm always waiting for the axe to drop so I can tell myself what an idiot I am. When I'm in my right mind and I've done something wrong or forgotten to do something and someone is bothered by it I look at them, shrug my shoulders, and say, "See what a dummy I am." People usually laugh or say, "No, you're not a dummy." Humor can be powerful (not easy to do though). You were just fine in what you did. So you go back and get proof. It's kind of a pain but it's part of life and you can definitely handle it so you should be proud of yourself. Nice Job!