I think I may leave here soon. No sense in me sticking around, I annoy everybody and I'm a self-centered piece of crap. Sorry you guys have had to put up with me since December. I'll be out of everyone's hair soon enough.
The Awkward Conversationalist
I think I may leave here soon. No sense in me sticking around, I annoy everybody and I'm a self-centered piece of crap. Sorry you guys have had to put up with me since December. I'll be out of everyone's hair soon enough.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
Nooooo, don't leave this forum keddddddy!
Finally heard from BF again. It wasn't anything personal.. he was just busy hanging out with his sister who was visiting from outta state. He still shoulda said something, but oh well. But, my anxiety overall is still lingering today a bit. He said we'll decide later today where and when we can hang out later this week, but I'm scared I won't get a hold of him again. This anxiety [BEEP] is getting ridiculous.
It's been affecting my breathing as well. I notice before that I just subconsciously stop breathing when my levels of anxiety are high enough, and it's definitely been the case as of lately. It's annoying especially today because I couldn't work out at the gym without feeling as if I was going to pass out or something.
I guess all I can do to make it stop is to work on gradually reducing my anxiety. But first, I have to work on ridding the negative thinking in general. I worry too much. I'm scared of everything lately. It's total BS.
NOTE: No wonder I've been a big [BEEP] stressing out and experiencing so much more anxiety hell... my period just arrived.
Socially inept Koala
Took me two hours to figure I was missing an "s" in my syntax which destroyed all my code....oh coding
Almost had a panic attack for no reason. Well, it was because I had to talk to a professor about an assignment I missed. But for no reason I was so anxious I almost cried, then I was so anxious about the almost-crying in public it almost turned into a full-on panic attack. I hate how crying is my first sign if panic. Crying in public is like the worst humiliation for me.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
NO you are my only friend so far so you can't I FORBID ITKeddy
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
I have such horrible attention to detail. I'd never make it coding. Sometimes I think that I'd be so much better off if I could just concentrate, lol.Took me two hours to figure I was missing an "s" in my syntax which destroyed all my code....oh coding
when I was much younger that's exactly how my panic attacks started and then over time I learned how to deaden my exterior to deal with it. That strategy almost works too well. It's almost as horrifying stuffing feelings as feeling them. I hope for a middle ground for you. *hugs*
Socially inept Koala
Coding can absolutely make you question your existence sometimes
The Awkward Conversationalist
I'll stayNO you are my only friend so far so you can't I FORBID ITI'm sorry. My personal life is destroying me right now and I've been taking it out on this site. It isn't fair of me. You guys don't deserve it and it would be childish of me to leave because I can't handle my own stress.
I won't go anywhere Cal
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
You need a dancing flower in your life, that is all *hug*I'll stay
I won't go anywhere Cal
I don't know how to stop being paranoid about everyone around me
The Awkward Conversationalist
Thank you, SmileyYou need a dancing flower in your life, that is all *hug*
I don't know how to stop being paranoid about everyone around me
That dancing flower... That little fucker sure does brighten one's day LOL!!
I don't know how to stop being paranoid either. I wish I did
I know you guys don't hate me. The real problem is that I hate MYSELF.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
If only such a flower really existed in person lol I'm sure there's something like it.. those funky ones you put on your car dashboard thingy lolThank you, Smiley
That dancing flower... That little fucker sure does brighten one's day LOL!!
I don't know how to stop being paranoid either. I wish I did
I know you guys don't hate me. The real problem is that I hate MYSELF.
Yeah... it's scary how paranoid I've gotten within the past few weeks. I believe the only way I could drastically reduce or totally stop it all is if I spend more time away from the computer and home... go out more and just live my life. Just be.
The more I try to make sense of my problems as well as the situations I make up in my mind that I somehow manage to believe to be true when it isn't at all, the more I mess myself up just as much. My mind is totally screwed up this week and I'm now in the process of "rewiring" everything back to how I was months before, especially back in December and January when my parents were out of the country. I was myself for once and hardly experienced anxiety. I'm trying to think back to how I did it all.
I need to just be. Stop thinking into things. I've been overthinking... like, everything. It's insane. I'm driving myself insane. It's already super bad as it is, so I don't need things to get worse than this.
Awe it's ok. I know how you feel. Sometimes I get in that mood where I am convinced that I have misjudged every positive social interaction I've ever had in my life. And it doesn't feel like a mood, it feels like sudden clarity. But then the next day or maybe the one after it's gone.I'll stay
I won't go anywhere Cal
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
The Awkward Conversationalist
You hit the nail on the head, LOL. That is exactly how I was feeling today. I think I'm doing better now though. Just had a really rotten day.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
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