Thank you for the advice Jamie. I don't know if there is any such thing as "moving on". Maybe it's more creating a new existence lol, re-creating who you are, and finding a new way to survive. For real. I'm not, not, not the same person I was on 4/22/12, the day before my gf killed herself. If you knew me then you would not even recognize me as the same person now. I'm totally, completely a different person.
I'm sorry you went through that time, I'm sorry you felt so low, that you tried to end everything. I've spent months in therapy....seriously, months, thousands of hours.....trying to figure out why she did what she did and it's really all for nothing. The best explanation I ever got was "she was probably acting on impulse, and not thinking clearly". Lol. Oh. Kay.
I've been diagnosed with PTSD, and yeah, the worse times for me are when flashbacks come out of nowhere. I spend a whole lot of time in my car because of my job. Sometimes it will be a certain part of town. Sometimes a song on the radio. Though. Almost every song on the radio seems to be a trigger lately.
You're right about compassion vs bitterness. You're so right, I mean, bitterness and resentment is not the answer. I don't think it's so much a black and white issue for me though.....I don't know that I'm bitter.....I'm just reeeeeally cautious, I'm really protective and I do. not. trust. anyone. anymore.
Maybe that's the same thing as being bitter lol, idk.
I'm sorry about your daughter, Jamie....she will find herself in a better place if she keeps working on herself, and if you keep helping her. I have a lot of regrets also. I don't think you failed her, at all. I think we do the best we can, you're being there for her in whatever way you can and that's all you can do. Regrets are just time wasted, really. And, yeah, I know I need to take my own advice.