Random Thought of the Day

[Doseone]

It's weird to think that I'm probably the only person in the world listening to a specific song at this specific time. And I'm probably the only person having this thought. Meanwhile millions are listening to Taylor Swift. lol.

This is the song I'm talking about:

[Nyctophilia]

ok, so you possess the symbolic phallus

What does that even mean I'm so confused

I'm too old to be confused. About Shania Twain I mean, not psychoanalysis. That's surrealism for psychology. Also I've randomly listened to this song again a few times this year for the first time in probably years.

You do know this song is just a long commercial for central heating right?

Lol.

According to Sigmund Freud's theory of psychoanalysis, while males possess a penis, no one can possess the symbolic phallus.

Challenge accepted.

Jacques Lacan's Ecrits includes an essay titled The Signification of the Phallus which articulates the difference between "being" and "having" the phallus. Men are positioned as men insofar as they are seen to have the phallus. Women, not having the phallus, are seen to "be" the phallus. The symbolic phallus is the concept of being the ultimate man, and having this is compared to having the divine gift of God.[1]

That sounds pretty gay.

Was Lacan gay?

No I'm thinking of Foucault never mind.

I'll probably never read any of these people's works.

I wonder if Lacan being gay has not had an impact on his new departure from Freud - does it have a litterature?

No I was mistaken. I think I mixed him up with someone. Sorry. The question remains: he dilutes mommy-love into narcissism and hatred of dad becomes just normal rebelling. And why would it not be possible for infant gays to like dad and distanciate from mom?

Yes exactly. He has such 'I've never read his work but I think he was homosexual' energy.

Thus from an Anglo-American perspective, Lacan makes psychoanalysis look rather queer.

OK.



No I'd like to be more bisexual actually. This hasn't been a very bisexual month for me. Wait. The 8th of October was pretty bisexual.

The t-shirt just spoke to me.

I think she's exclusively attracted to people who definitely don't look like me. Many such cases.

It's not because it's more interesting it's because it requires a level of self comfort and zen state that I'm not in most of the time + I miss having more of a sex drive...

You psychoanalysts (and Foucault,) and your sexuality that isn't fluid.

I'm going to invent a sexual theory based on the t-shirt about getting your clit pierced at Claire's accessories that she was wearing. I don't know if she really has a clit, but that doesn't really matter. It's symbolic.

I will call this theory: 'psychoanalytic theory 2.0 - why is no one talking about the clit?'

In psychology, womb envy denotes the envy that men may feel of the biological functions of the female (pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding). The neo-Freudian psychiatrist Karen Horney (1885?1952) proposed this as an innate male psychological trait.

I don't find this very sexy even though I have an impregnation kink. But if I imagine getting a guy pregnant he doesn't have to have a womb, doesn't have to get pregnant either. I mean he could if he's really committed to the fantasy, but it's optional. I'm not in a position to have kids so it's best if guys don't get pregnant for now. Or women, but I'm only thinking about guys asking to be impregnated lately but it's been hard to find audio files with that after I stumbled on some. A few years ago it was women in fiction. I'll discuss all this in my book:

"Summary: Much like the emancipation of women was once seen as a threat to feminize society by undermining the paternal figure. The transformation of homosexuality presents new challenges to psychoanalysis. He essentially said that such women represent a maternal Christianity since, like the Virgin Mary, they made the error of bringing forth a child without having heterosexual intercourse. What if guys could shapeshift into women with female genitals who wear short skirts without underwear for my entertainment. But I still like dicks as well in theory. Perhaps I don't like anything in real life."

That's the title.

The 3 hours of sleep I got following the 5 hours of sleep for multiple days is really showing. I want to perpetuate this state of mind + a more extreme form that's like being on drugs and then have that state of mind for when I have to go out after I eventually sleep.

I'm not sure there was a point to this besides shitposting anyway.

People in the replies:
Natalie is obviously too much of a coward to admit that she is in love with me and give me extra special cuddles and buy me pretty jewelry. Like this tweet so she understands that the only way to be taken seriously by the public is to give into my demands

This doesn't pass the vibe check, but I also didn't respond to her tweet tbf. Oh I forget she did like one of my tweets once lol.

I'm married to this music video at the moment because I really like motels in the middle of the night and the general surreal vibes:



No not the musicians. Or the naked statues. Maybe the song a bit. Mostly the liminal music video as I said.

I'm cheating on surreal dream world in the motel at night with late night water slide though:



Well maybe not. But I still like the photo. If it was an outdoor pool maybe.

When I was a kid this outdoor pool with a waterslide was open late at night but I completely forgot about that until the last minute and so I basically had time to go down the slide once. I guess maybe that's haunting me a bit. I really want to teleport back. Was a great pool too btw.

This song by The Cure reminds me of driving with my family through France at night:



Cause I was listening to their greatest hits CD a lot on my portable CD player.

I also stumbled on this song again recently lol:



Obviously that became a huge internet meme thing but it just reminds me of France again lol. When you're English and the Moldovan song reminds you of France. No because it was the summer and I was in France lol.

Also the 80s song by Austrian band:



^ some of my best memories involve this song lol.... Also this song which is finally actually by a French group:



But yeah lots of music reminds me of France.

I also like this artwork I found again while looking through my liked stuff to find the waterslide. Even though it turns out I neither liked nor reblogged that image why? No wait I did. So then why wasn't it in my list of liked tumblr posts. Where is it!? That's going to be the sequel to the psychoanalytic book I mentioned. 'So then why wasn't it in my list of liked tumblr posts. Where is it!?'



I'm pretending his hood is hair.

You know when it takes people 8 minutes to start their song because they want to bleach their hair and binge on cheerios?



Imagine it was just like shitposting. This is actually a trick to improve attention spans secretly. No lol.

And then you get stuck upside down in your trans am/bat mobile. Hate it when that happens.



I like how this is Green Day. Not even like some of Green Day it's just Green Day.

[Nyctophilia]

I also stumbled on this song again recently lol:



Obviously that became a huge internet meme thing but it just reminds me of France again lol. When you're English and the Moldovan song reminds you of France. No because it was the summer and I was in France lol.

I also love that the beginning of the song sounds like a 90s Playstation game maybe Tekken or something. There are other stuff that sound more like it but everything sounded like that at one point.









I guess a lot of playstation sounds were inspired by jungle and techno.

This kind of sound is suddenly so nostalgic lol:





I'm watching this now lol:



This doesn't really fit in but at this point I'm just thinking about all my favourite video game music I really love this track:

[Doseone]

We're the unmanifest void in which all possibilities are made actual. Pure being/consciousness experiencing itself.

[Lucid]

Are random thoughts truly random?

[Nyctophilia]

IAMX were pretty good live not my favourite concert of theirs I've been to but still pretty good. But as usual they took two hours after the doors opened to come on stage with no support band. They take the longest to get on stage of any band or musician I've ever seen live (and I've been to .. 19 concerts? 4 IAMX concerts I think.) I know at one point in the US they toured with Mr Kitty supporting them. Would have been really cool if they toured with Drab Majesty (still want to see them live, and they'd fit together pretty well.)







They haven't been to the UK since 2019 though when I missed them.

While waiting though there was music playing (like from a recording) and at one point Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer was playing:



I got really excited lol but then I wanted to see Amanda Palmer live but I was at the IAMX concert lol... I think she might have come to the UK recently and I missed her? She's touring the US right now. I saw The Dresden Dolls on this day back in 2018 and they were good live. Well I think it was the 30th maybe I saw them on Halloween but it was either the 30th or 31st.

There was also an AFI song I didn't recognise. Well either that or Blaqk Audio or some side project of Davey Havok. Definitely Davey singing though. I should have tried to write down the lyrics but it was hard to make it out because it sounded good and I don't remember the tune now.

I was hoping they'd play some Sisters of Mercy because this was playing I think at the last IAMX show I went to before they got on stage:



I got handed some flyer while queuing about various goth tribute bands that are playing in various locations soon. Kind of bums me out because they're all tribute bands lol also a Nine Inch Nails tribute band lol. Although it also looks like Aesthetic Perfection are playing. I've only heard a couple of his songs though they're pretty good not sure if good enough for me to want to see him live:





I overheard someone in the queue talking about goth and alternative music festivals in the UK and how all that stuff is up North which yeah it seems to be mostly like Whitby goth weekend and Infest.

So back to IAMX. Sammi Doll wasn't there this time which I didn't think she would be. Think she's focussing on her own projects now.

An interesting part of the concert was when Chris recorded the crowd screaming and incorporated that into the last song they played lol.

I also always like all the photography and artistic clips they have on screens while they perform. It really adds to the surreal horrror bachincal vibes.

Also at one point some guy in the crowd yelled let's [BEEP] and Chris said something like 'Let's what? Jesus' and then 'Shall we all get naked is that where this is going? Is this the time?' And then we all got naked and had a giant orgy.

No he said we can't 'my mums in the crowd' haha. 😂

I think his parents always come to his London gigs they were there last time and I think I saw them in the queue. I mean because he said they were there at the last concert I went to, and there weren't exactly a lot of older people in the crowd. There were several this time though.

They played a few of my favourite songs - Screams, I Come with Knives, The Alternative, This Will Make you Love Again, President etc but didn't play Mercy which I really like live and I Am Terrified which is one of the best live songs I've heard. Sounded much better live too. He changes how he performs various songs at different concerts though so not always the same experience which can be good/bad.







^ this is the version I heard before live (not at this concert though but the same version.) The ending is just really intense and amazing but it's hard to find decent recordings.

Also there are lots of other songs I like obviously that weren't played but yeah.

HAPPENING NOW! Watch IAMX live now from the front row at the sold out London concert!

Wait so the concert I went to was being live streamed lol? And I wasn't even in the front row.

Wish I'd checked my email before because if that's still floating around... I needn't have bothered recording anything.

Yeah it's on fucking YouTube lol:

One one hand I'm kinda sad that with each tour the venues are getting smaller (I remember back at their height they'd fill pretty big locations) but at the same time it feels so much more intimate.

Doesn't bother me though I'd been to that venue twice before for two other bands (not IAMX,) and the last time I went there a decade ago to see Girugamesh.



I decided to get lifted out of the crowd because they were lifting people out and wasn't sure I could manage there for much longer with how cramped it was. But then after that there was only one more song left anyway. Wasn't bad this time though.

This is on their channel did he ask them to do this lol? Oh good I'm not quite in this video lol (well I don't think so might be briefly or in the dark during parts.)

This live stream is brought to you courtesy of Eternal Patron Leanne (Pinky)

Oh right yeah I saw her there. I could hear the people behind me discussing her too. I think he decided to call her pinky a while ago because of her hair lol so that's her name now. I think we're mutuals on Tumblr because I used to post tons of IAMX stuff and she follows all IAMX social media stuff and goes to most of their shows. To the point where Chris, Janine etc know who she is.

Oh well this is good though because I didn't record that funny thing with the guy saying let's fuck. They filmed it vertically though why?

Not to brag but the parts I recorded are much better quality lol. Except for some weird moments with the sound cutting off in one ear now and then and some odd glitchy bits (listening with my headphones.) Too lazy to upload atm. Might not since I didn't record any song in it's entirety.

They're going to Ukraine tomorrow apparently


The alternative to real world
Is just time for me and a fantasy
Be blind to myself to idolise




Yeah again as with Porcupine Tree concert I don't know why I'm posting this here instead of on social media oh well.

[Nyctophilia]

What? This is like something I'd do tbh lol.

I've been seeing a lot of people saying that it's the weakest song in the album, that it's the weakest collab between Nina and Wilson and so on.

To all those people who believe that... I want to know the reasons, why do you say that? Is there a specific reason why?

Edit: Typo changed so people don't come so aggressively

"Valid" reasons? Music is subjective, pretty much any reason is valid.

"...I like it less than the others."

"I said valid, damn it!"

Yeah? But I want to know reasoning, if we were talking about any other artist, you would be 100% right... But with Wilson is not 100% valid, we are talking about someone whose work is ALWAYS deeply analyzed and needs multiple listens to get all layers and come to different conclusions... So I want to know all conclusions and layers that failed basically.

I think we may have to stop using the word valid now. As a species. I just hear this everytime now lol:





I know we're all robot aliens but do we have to be valid?

Giving off real Rick and Morty fan vibes here mate... (I love R&M for the record)

So because it's Steven Wilson you expect an essay on why it's a weak song? Rather than me just saying that it feels like a weak song?

It doesn't really go anywhere, I don't feel like Ninet is really utilized enough to make her feature worth it.

Is that enough reasoning?

Lol. He wants it on his desk by Friday.

I don't know if it's their best collab but I did like it. Sounds good. 🤷

Because we are TIRED of Ninet. It makes NO sense for her to sing practically the entire song. Steven, who I love, always talks about not repeating himself - well he has repeated himself in every Ninet collaboration since the first. Enough already.

LOL

I'm not. This is still one of the best vocal performances I've heard live:

It's a cool song, I even got very emotional one time listening to it. But other times I've listened to it I felt nothing but an urge to go to the next song. So it's working on me only sometimes.

Guess it's kinda boring for me and not exactly the thing I love SW for. But it had its place for sure.

I think it works well emotionally, and a lot of his songs don't and then people complain about that too lol. It's not a very technically complicated song or experimental so others will dislike it for that reason.

It's one of the songs that bring nothing new to to table I find. It's not bad, but it's on the bottom of the list for my own tastes. I preferred their duet on To the bone much better.

Hm. Yeah maybe but I think it only has an edge because of the breakdown 3 minutes in. It kind of reminds me of Significant Other as well because it's ascending I guess.

I think it's both a boring song that somewhat rips off Comfortably Numb with the structure, and it doesn't at all fit the composition rest of the album. Everything else on the album twists and turns, but this one is pretty stagnant in comparison.

OK but he listens to lots of music and borrows a lot from all of it all the time. Here's A Forest:



And also A Forest lol (this is actually a really great cover):



and people talk about him doing that on various tracks constantly, so I think it's really more that it's quite a short track and less complex.

I'm sure my favourite track will change every 5 minutes but I do really like these (the 3rd track Economies of Scale grew on me wasn't immediately into it and I really love the part after 2:40):









*links entire album*

Very unique album, The songs paired with the visuals in the video are epic and put me in a slight trance

Yeah I really like the dreamlike liminal London vibe:



And it also vaguely reminds me of Relativity by M. C. Escher



Also in uh 2016? I kept using this dada poem generator website and inserting random words into it and I would use the word staircase over and over so it's sort of reminding me of that period too lol. And cuil theory:





And The Stanley Parable a bit but that's just circling back to the liminal thing:



Such a great concept.

Steven Wilson's - The Harmony Codex is filled with liminal spaces

Why doesn't this reddit thread have any comments? Oh right I'm here. (And it's Reddit and not Tumblr.)

Especially since I was there today it reminds me a lot of walking through St Pancras train station and things like that.





On a completely unrelated note I actually find this interaction frustrating to watch:



I think it's partly because he keeps insisting he's using some program to change his voice but even if he was genetically female that could very easily be his natural voice simply by going on testosterone... It's not a primary sex trait it's a secondary sex trait.

Also you know, because it's the experience of every trans person who doesn't pass.

This person is genetically female (yes you read that right lol in spite of the confusing title. They detransitioned):



Lol this video reminds me of that tweet:

"take a pill that will fix every single one of my problems? idk...that sounds risky and weird"

- women not taking testosterone because their low T makes them risk averse

It's also just difficult to get a hold of in significant quantities due to being a controlled substance in most countries, and not really advisable to [BEEP] with your hormones unless you know what you're doing.

Who takes testosterone as a pill? I mean most trans guys inject it.

[Nyctophilia]

I should actually read the short story the album is based on at some point apparently it's in his recently published book. This synopsis someone made that I read also interests me a lot:

"Two siblings, Harmony (the albums namesake) and Jamie, travel on the underground to a London highrise skyscraper, get caught in the crossfire of a terrorist attack, proceed to move up a never ending staircase. Rest of the story is sorta a David Lynch dreamlike sequence to whether what can be determined as real and a bit of sci-fi/possible extraterrestrial involvement gets introduced."

I saw this review on Amazon (quoting part of it):

PS: For those disagreeing with this assessment - and there will be at least one - here's a non-algorithmic epilogue. The word 'autobiography' implicitly raises expectations of an insightful and revealing account. I'm the last person to disrespect anyone's right to privacy. Thus I would simply remind SW that no one forced him to write this book. But he of all people will understand that, if you DO choose to get up on stage, paying audiences will expect more than just a haughty whistle.
Part of me regrets reading this book because I might never again enjoy Porcupine Tree with the same swoop of unbridled hopefulness. On the plus side, I've also been reminded how a band thrives on contributions from each of its members, regardless of their stage positions. A lesson worth remembering, especially when a non-fiction book (ie. this one) opens by telling us that some, or all of its content could be a lie.

Uh I don't want that anyway, people just end up disappointing you inevitably. The title of the book is this:

Limited Edition of One: How to Succeed in the Music Industry Without Being Part of the Mainstream

I also remember watching a video where he talked a bit about it at some book event, maybe I didn't finish the video. He basically said it was a book about the music industry without the gritty rock star lifestyle anecdotes that people tend to give when they do that. I don't know why they were expecting tons of details about his personal life or whatever.

It's not official meaning of the album though. Just my interpretation. It's based on Steven's interviews on the matter and a few reads of lyrics. It may be wrong or - that would be more appropriate - not THE meaning since Steven has always been open to various interpretations (I mean what happened to the main character of HCE?)

I think I imagined she was taken by aliens. There's some visuals in one video I'm struggling to find... Maybe that was just live. But I thought I stumbled on something at home...

Ascendant Here On (1:54) - Synth and keys. Photos taken in 2015 show space and lights implying aliens. Short and sweet. Implies that the woman disappeared and nobody knew.

I didn't imagine it. It's somewhere. They've seen it too. Lol. I found some recording of a live concert with some of the video. I remembered parts of this a bit different but then they don't capture the whole thing in this video:





I swear I saw some symbols somewhere as well? Or like something... I dunno now.

P.S. - I own a copy of the Deluxe Edition. I don?t know what happens to J, the protagonist. I think insanity and aliens are both possible answers. I also think that there could be another answer.

I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens.

I'm not saying it's trains, but it's trains.

Obviously it's always trains.

There seem to be a number of clues possibly pointing to astronomy/astrology: the sun/moon imagery on the Key of Skeleton, the word "Ascendant," lights in the sky (stars, constellations?). Has anyone considered whether the coordinates on the Key could be coordinates on the celestial sphere instead of the Earth? In general I wonder if the clues are related to things in astronomy and astrology.

People got really intense about this lol.

I never understood the "aliens" thing. I never took the "visitors" as being aliens. They could be lots of things, most likely metaphorical or dellusional.

There's another song with Porcupine Tree involving the protagonist waiting for aliens to pick him up after a war and the ending is like you can hear a bunch of people all together (maybe all the souls of the people on Earth it sounds like a stadium):



This is pretty different and more angelic sounding because it's supposed to be ambiguous that she died given the album was inspired by Joyce Carol Vincent who did die, but it's sort of similar and there are voices again at the end but it sounds more like a school or something and more like nostalgically recalling a memory from the protagonist's own past:



So it's really cool that there seems to be some alien thing going on in the short story maybe. Also my aliens thing. I've just been particularly fixated since Storm Area 51 lol. (On top of already being into aliens anyway and most speculative fiction themes.) Also desert landscapes goes back to Sims 2 with overlapping alien themes.

Also why does everyone get compared to David Lynch? I've never actually seen any of his films/TV shows lol (I probably should at some point...) But I see this often and a while back someone commented this on one of my videos:

this is the most lynchian thing ive ever seen

I think it's for the same reason people commented stuff like this though:

[redacted] is so unsettling and terrifying. This whole scene gave me an experience or a sense of a very vivid dream while having a high fever. I still cannot really understand what is real anymore. I think I?m a bit broken...

Watching these things happening feels like playing in [redacted] in a dream would look like

The fight scene in the last minutes was so surreal 'cause this [redacted] doesn't even exist in game but he is fightining with [redacted] who already exists........... and this ending with [redacted] quote and alien DC music just freaking epic. Thanks.

Redacted.

Lol I forgot about this comment I'm always really confused when people say things like this or that I'm the only YouTuber they watch/favourite YouTuber or something crazy because have you seen almost anything else lol?:

I only found you a few months ago and have been playing catch up with your work and loving everything! You are the most independent, creative and entertaining channel I've seen yet! Your work is awesome! Thank you for sharing!

What have you been watching lol? I need to like see inside these people's brains. Because I'm just like 'and this is just a video game I didn't make this from scratch. I should be doing something else but I have no motivation. Everything is [BEEP] although it's fun to make. The end.' Tricking myself into putting in more effort because some people are trapped in a universe where I'm their favourite YouTuber. You know Contrapoints is a YouTuber right? Also there are musicians making YouTube videos. I guess that's not their primary thing but they're technically YouTubers lol... I don't just mean like music videos and their music is on YouTube I mean some post other videos or stuff that's for YouTube.

It's tempting to wonder if other musicians don't look on the career of Steven Wilson with a certain envy. He appears to do precisely what he wants, when he wants, completely unencumbered by the kind of pressures that are brought to bear on other artists: the vagaries of fashion, the pursuit of commercial acceptance, the demands and expectations of record companies or indeed of fans. He has an impressively rabid audience ? big enough to send his last two solo albums into the top five and justify Wilson publishing a pretty elliptical autobiography, Limited Edition Of One; big enough to fill Wembley Arena to see the reformed version of his most famous band, Porcupine Tree, in 2022 ? but they mostly seem willing to follow him down whatever musical path he chooses to take: they might be the polar opposite of the kind of rabid latterday pop fans, or 'stans', who apparently spend most of their time on social media angrily lecturing their supposed idols on what they can and can?t do.

Oh they critique him tons, in fact most musicians who do prog or classic rock get a lot of criticism. Except maybe the members of Rush who everyone tends to get compared to. Although even then there are a bunch of people who 'can't stand Geddy Lee's voice.' I think he's been somewhat immune to the 'there can only be one' thing that happens with most other rock bands with a predominantly male fanbase which is very much the equivalent of stan culture on twitter which is mostly women and sometimes gay men arguing over who the best female pop star of all time is. But he's immune to that because he's not super famous. He's prolific and a very talented workaholic but invisible to most people ime outside certain circles (and yet he's actually very famous or at least some of his work is - you have to be to sell out arena concerts - but 99% of people I've ever spoken to have no idea who he is. A paradox.) It's a weird contemporary space to be in in the music industry, and I don't think I've come across anyone else like that.

His chart positions notwithstanding, Wilson always feels at one remove from the rock mainstream, perhaps an inevitable result of having launched his career in the early 90s doing pretty much the two least fashionable things you could do at that particular juncture of British musical history ? reanimating the slick, sophisticated art-pop of the 80s with No-Man and playing distinctly prog-leaning rock with Porcupine Tree - but he clearly commands the respect of an impressively eclectic array of his fellow musicians. The remix version of his seventh studio album features contributions from the Manic Street Preachers, Interpol, Tears For Fears' Roland Orzabal, and Mikael Akerfeldt of Swedish metallers Opeth, their names among those on a list of collaborators that also takes in Elton John, Robert Fripp and XTC's Andy Partridge, amongst others. Wilson is presumably the solitary thread that connects acclaimed Norwegian jazz trumpeter Nils Petter Molv?r with rave/metal hybridists Enter Shikari.

Lol Enter Shikari are fans? That's so funny/cool/unexpected.





This is so 2007-2009 UK sixth form Skins vibes. (I did actually start sixth form in 2007 lol.) I never really watched Skins aside from a few clips and there was that one character who was basically Luna Lovegood. I just really like - yeah I mean you know the music lol (well the intro theme):



You always get these comments:

I only wish I was a teenager when this show was happening

Lol I was and my life was nothing like that show from what I know about it, (aside from experiencing bullying.) Maybe when I was in uni it was more like that show. Other teenagers had lives like that though. I remember a girl od'd in the bathroom at sixth form which I heard people talking about in art class, someone in my brother's class who bullied his best friend went on to kill someone and became a drug dealer. But I'm not a main character kind of person. I'm like 'the shruggers' from that Nickelodeon show Victorious which I never watched but watched a video essay about it by cjthex. The technology/fashion/vibes etc still apply though I guess but I don't think there were any emos, goths who were still around, or even scene kids so missing a lot.

Fr, sometimes I wish I was born in the early 2000's.

meh I was born in the early 2000s and It wasn't like on skins lol

The characters on Skins weren't even born in the early 2000s lol, they were probably born from like 1990-1997? I think depending on the season.

Other ventures to expand the brand have included a short-lived American remake, which aired on MTV in 2011, but was cancelled after one season after advertisers abandoned the series in response to controversy surrounding the series' sexual content.

Lol. This is also an issue with YouTube. You know despite the ads selling Ukrainian wives and all that.

They have Euphoria now. I only watched one episode of that I think? But it has a great soundtrack too:

Very much the man you call if you're a legendary rock or pop artist who wants an album remixed into spatial audio he's recently performed the 5.1/Dolby Atmos duties for everyone from Jethro Tull to Chic Wilson has talked up The Harmony Codex as a modern example of what can be done with spatial mixing, setting up special immersive playbacks, where fans can experience the entire album in a "hemisphere of sound". You can understand why spatial audio currently exists largely as an adjunct to the reissue market, as its go-to guy, Wilson presumably wants to see it develop as an option for new music and the videos online of people emerging from said playbacks looking like they've undergone some kind of religious epiphany tell their own story about how effective it all is. Nevertheless, there'a a slight danger in all of this. It runs the risk of making The Harmony Codex sound like a hi-fi demonstration album, something to show off your system with, which feels like dramatically underselling its contents. It?s a beautifully-produced album, but what really matters is the music: it's worth noting that it sounds incredible as an m4a stream with nothing more advanced than a mobile and a pair of headphones for playback.

Yup.

But I did notice he keeps plugging atmos lol.

It's an album that feels a little like a culmination, tying together the various strands of his musical past. As well as prog and Economy of Scale?s 21st Century reboot of the kind of progressive, experimental ?80s sound pursued on those albums where the era?s pop stars allowed their music to unfurl in directions far removed from the stuff that got them in Smash Hits ? David Sylvian?s Brilliant Trees, Thomas Dolby?s The Flat Earth, The Associates? Sulk you get a feeling for his love of abstract electronics: the quietly menacing sound of 'Beautiful Scarecrow' isn't a million miles removed from Coil's late ?90s work.

It's reminding me of a lot of things. But actually yes it is a bit like Coil:







<3

There are probably better examples but I should be sleeping anyway.

If his penchant for metal isn't as obviously reflected as it was in the albums Porcupine Tree made in the early noughties, there's still a perceptible heaviness about the guitar on ?Actual Brutal Facts?. You get a distinct sense of Wilson's restless musical spirit: within seven minutes, opener 'Inclination' has moved from atmospheric, vaguely Middle Eastern motifs, to a pounding industrial rhythm track and claustrophobic sampled breathing, to epic-sounding rock, to ambient electronic instrumental, to something approaching a piano ballad. In theory, it should sound disjointed like a bunch of interesting ideas thrown at the wall in the hope that some of them will stick but it doesn't, which is testament to Wilson's skill as a writer, his hugely impressive way with a dynamic shift: the moment when the band kicks in is like the musical equivalent of a cinematic jump-scare.

Oh yeah and there's rap-adj parts which is so weird and vaguely post-grunge sounding guitars.

[Doseone]

Are random thoughts truly random?

I don't think they are, but I may be wrong. Thoughts give rise to other thoughts in a deterministic fashion. How would we even know if something is truly random? It may be that we just don't know what the cause is.

I want to cuddle with Emma Bernache.

[Nyctophilia]

I like the cat t-shirt and hat:



This feels like the ultimate Zillennial music video in a sense because he has that kind of half dead gen z look and cat stuff in a dark apartment with neon-ish streamer lighting vibes. There's a window looking out on some urban environment at night which just increases the atomisation vibes and this style of music is some bleak successor to emo I suppose. The main difference being emo was usually angrier and more energetic and a lot of this is apathetic and hollow.

Of course he is a bit too young to be a 'zillennial' I guess cause he's 22 and not like 25.

Can you imagine if any of this [BEEP] was real?

But Gardner Robinson is older now – only two years older, but those two years hold lifetimes of experience. He has just turned 21, with a celebration thrown by hyperpop artist, DJ and party-starter Alice Longyu Gao. He has just finished touring the US with glaive and midwxst. He has just moved to New York City. And somewhere among all of that, he has just released his third EP, good grief. Now, on the other side of it, there’s a sense that aldn is finally embracing reality.

His name is Gardner? What a concept.

Why am I here existing lol?

No that is a really cool name though.

I'm not that into this music stylistically though it's OK. I assume if I was 16 now I would be, because I assume this is what alienated kids listen to now.... Besides older music obviously. And a bunch of them are also still listening to Nirvana (and My Chemical Romance.) And obviously he's uh... How did the review I'm reading put it:

a Tim Burton animation in denim, all height and sharp angles.

Yeah. I just had Patrick Wolf etc lol:





You notice something about this music video? =P pylons.



^ I remembered this again recently lol.

I just found this video because that article brought it up. I do like this aesthetic a lot (and I was weirdly obsessed with neon green as a teenager too and electronics (aesthetically,) so would have been really into that):



Actually I still like green and glittery green stuff I guess lol. Right:





I dunno what's up with that but yeah.

I also wanted a pair of converse shoes with glittery turquoise fabric because of Patrick Wolfs t-shirt in Accident and Emergency. But I never found some shoes like that. I saw someone with some cool red velvet boots (like Dr. Martens kind of style,) yesterday. Kind of wanted them.

I say this as though my preferences have evolved in any meaningful sense... If you don't become attracted to bears regardless of gender your preferences just become more cringe past age 25. This also applies to all older heterosexual males though they're also seen as cringe for being into young women lol. (I mean society is going to judge you for that obviously, my experience is that if you're attracted to guys who are younger or who look younger - are skinny etc - that's seen as more aberrant than being into younger women as it's not the norm for androphiles. It's not just seen as creepy like when older guys are into young women - and tbh that's a grey area too depending on the status of the guy. If he's successful he may somewhat get away with it but these days probably not because younger people are very judgmental. It's also seen as defective for your sexuality if you're into guys and homosexuality is rarely tolerated in the first place but if you must do it at least be two very masculine 30+ year olds. Regardless of the whole 'female gaze' psyop that's amusingly happening right now it's still seen as weird, corrupting youth etc. I'm not even talking about underage people here btw but like 18 year olds or people in their early 20s. But of course it's OK if you're under 25 or so.)

Lol they get it:



I like how, if we're honest it becomes clear (not just in this video,) that the reason he's greysexual is mostly because he can't find guys he finds attractive in his own age group. (He's like several years older than me but this video was also made a few years ago.) I mean that's not true really lol. I also think the fact he doesn't have a male body gets in the way a bit and prob sex drive etc. But the not finding people attractive thing is mostly down to that lol.

It's OK most of the 'twinks' I'm into are 17-38 years older than me now. There was some tumblr post I can't find lol that was like:

"Calling guys twinks and it's like some elderly men" hahaha. I mean when they were young though really.

edit: Why is stuff like this even news right?

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have a six-year age gap

Honestly it is a bit like being in Logan's Run lol.

There was some famous guy too who was dating a much younger woman I forget who it was and I was trying to find him and found that story I thought it was Ryan Gosling but it obviously wasn't. It was all over twitter recently. It's always been seen as weird if the older person is female - even 6 years older and as I said before homosexuality has also always been judged harshly especially regarding young people. But now it's just like instead of normalising that they decided 'what if we just give everyone more [BEEP]? Because [BEEP] straight men.' Thanks. It's great. Such a great time to be alive. /s

Also I'm allowed to like My Chemical Romance even if teenagers and people in their early 20s like them because I was a teenager during the peak of their career damn it. I wasn't OK before you! But it's Halloween so this is more fitting:



This song is about zombies:



They invented mall goth before mall goth was real. As in not the subculture that now gets called mall goth but was never called that as far as I remember when I was that age (I mean I guess it was occasionally but as an insult,) but mall goth as in goth being symbolic of decay of opulence. So now all the malls are abandoned and zombiefied.

I used to listen to this album + song on my portable CD player while walking around shopping centres etc

[Nyctophilia]

Continuing on from the mental age of a 14-16 year old vibes. My brother left out these gingerbread men because he likes to eat them at a certain softness or something? But I didn't realise before so accidentally ate one (there was a box of them on the side and one of them was sitting outside the box.) So I've hidden them and taken out some others and decorated them with weird Halloween faces using food dye to prank him (they don't look that great though it's hard to do fine detail with it because it comes out too blobby also I really needed like some white icing or something to do fangs etc but don't have that.) He's still asleep though atm because neither of us have sleeping patterns that make sense most of the time.

I'm probably going to regret this later because he's going to have to get me back and I cba with that sort of thing most of the time lol. But the thought just spontaneously occured to me when I was in the kitchen.

I'm sure my favourite track will change every 5 minutes but I do really like these (the 3rd track Economies of Scale grew on me wasn't immediately into it and I really love the part after 2:40):

Lol as I said. This is my favourite track atm:

[Doseone]

Happy Halloween! Even though I now think Halloween is so gimmicky, I have some good childhood memories associated with it. My only ritual is listening to The Marshmallow Ghosts and AFI's All Hallows EP. Last year I watched all of the Halloween themed South Park episodes. I would watch a scary movie, but there aren't any that I'm interested in (I'm very picky with what I watch and when).

[Nyctophilia]

My friend started talking to me about some video he watched about this YouTuber who killed his pregnant girlfriend and hid clues in the videos. I think I vaguely heard about this guy in a video I didn't keep watching about parasocial relationships and YouTubers, and then googled him but didn't look in depth. I think it was maybe this one:

FAKE FRIENDS EPISODE TWO: parasocial hell

Maybe someone mentioned him in the comments? It's a long video so yeah didn't end up watching most of it. I don't see anything now though but I feel like it was something at least tangentially related I don't know. Maybe I watched some other video at a similar time. Because whatever it was was sort of discussing how you don't know people and shouldn't trust them etc (you know common sense, but it won't do a lot of people any good because it's not something you can rationalise yourself out of.) Also someone brought up someone who allegedly killed someone and used to do doctor who cosplay? I'm probably conflating stories in my mind here lol.

I watched this years ago and it’s interesting to see how "parasocial" just became a buzzword content creators can use to avoid accountability (even though they often play into parasocial relationships as well)

I believe it is impossible not to because I don't give my audience anything personal atm, and while that very obviously helps and some stuff is also just hype - like I'd get people commenting way more excitedly at one point with the whole 'yas queen' kind of thing. I still will get occasional comments from people where it's like 'I missed you' if I don't post for multiple months. One person said they listen to my videos apparently while trying to go to sleep because my voice is calming and that they hope I get lots of money from them doing that (no actually not much at all.) And I'm not remotely famous even in YouTube terms. It happens with a very small sized audience and then just scales from there.

ironically, i feel like bo burnham constantly dunking on parasocial relationship culture may contribute to fans seeing him as "authentic" and therefore feeling attached to him- who knows, maybe he does it on purpose.

yeah that's exactly what happened to me, i never developed any parasocial relationships with other celebrities because the way that they encouraged relationships felt too forced and fake to me. he intentionally discourages them and, as you said, ironically that did make me form this (borderline unhealthy) relationship. i hope he isn't doing it on purpose...

I used to have that kind of relationship, he was like an older brother figure to me, but after he took his break I realized how harmful the mindset was to my own mental health. [BEEP] gets you like a vice grip, and is very hard to escape without completely distancing yourself from the creator.

Essentially the power dynamic will always be problematic.

My friend said he didn't know why he kept watching the depressing video he was watching just morbid curiosity.

Then he linked me this:

https://medium.com/@makaylaabezuiden...rs-2f91d51a4da

10 YouTubers Who Became Murderers

Within the expansive realm of YouTube, a platform teeming with creativity, entertainment, and personal expression, it is unsettling to contemplate the fact that certain individuals, who once found solace in this medium, ultimately succumbed to a dark and tragic fate. Behind the captivating personas and the allure of online stardom, a deeply troubling undercurrent flows, compelling us to scrutinize the intricacies of human behavior and the potential hazards stemming from untreated mental health issues.

Oh no yeah that is the same person, I just found the other site I looked at before:

Votesaxon07, real name Stephen McCullagh, is a British YouTuber known for his videos mostly covering various topics related to the science-fiction series Doctor Who and merchandise related to other franchises.

In 2023, McCullagh became the source of controversy for the murder of Natalie McNally. He was subsequently arrested and faced court for 24 February, 2023.

I see people regularly being surprised or disenchanted when some YouTuber they follow ends up being very mentally unstable and their life is a train wreck in one way or another (not necessarily a murderer.) It's not surprising to me though because lots of YouTubers are mentally ill, myself included. Just because you like something they made doesn't mean they're more functional or perfect etc. The platform also appeals to sadistic voyeurs and then if you find people's scared or shocked reactions entertaining it can end up appealing to you too and you can get into some kind of cycle/feedback loop. Obviously people who are into creating horror content or creepypasta stuff skirt this line sometimes too, as well as other communities like a lot of people involved in the modern goth subculture and so on. You end up with really weird parasocial things happening like this as well:

On May 31, 2014, two 12-year-old girls in Waukesha, Wisconsin held down and stabbed a 12-year-old classmate 19 times. When questioned later by authorities, they reportedly claimed that they wished to commit a murder as a first step to becoming proxies for the Slender Man, having read about it online.[5] They also stated that they were afraid that Slender Man would kill their families if they did not commit the murder.[34] After the perpetrators left the scene, the victim crawled out of the woods to a roadway. A passing cyclist alerted authorities, and the victim survived the attack. Both attackers were diagnosed with mental illnesses[35] but were charged as adults and faced up to 65 years in prison.[36] One of the girls reportedly said Slender Man watches her, could read minds and could teleport.[5]

Experts testified in court that she also said she conversed with Lord Voldemort and one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. On August 1, 2014, she was found incompetent to stand trial and her prosecution was suspended until her condition improved.[37] On November 12, 2014, a doctor judged that her condition had improved enough for her to stand trial,[citation needed] and on December 19, 2014, the judge ruled that both girls were competent to stand trial.[38] In August 2015, the presiding judge ruled that the girls would be tried as adults.[39] They were tried separately.[40] On August 21, 2017, one of the girls, now 15, pleaded guilty to being a party to attempted second-degree homicide, but claimed she was not responsible for her actions on grounds of insanity.[41] Although prosecutors alleged that she knew what she was doing was wrong, the jury determined that she was mentally ill during the attack. On December 21, Waukesha County Circuit Judge Michael Bohren sentenced Weier, then 16 years old, to be hospitalized for 25 years from the date of the crime, which would keep her institutionalized until age 37.[42]

After hearing the story, an unidentified woman from Cincinnati, Ohio, told a WLWT TV reporter in June 2014 that her 13-year-old daughter had attacked her with a knife, and had written macabre fiction, some involving the Slender Man, who the mother said motivated the attack.[48]

This is a fictional character but male cult leaders often do the same thing - they find women to carry out murders for them. Like Charles Manson.

You also get predators who hang out in creative communities more generally, that's why you hear about a bunch in Hollywood and artists who have done z, y, z thing and such. Cults where the leaders were former musicians, writers or artists... But on a more extreme level anyone Bronze Age Pervert would think needs to make a come back, when he goes on a multi page discussion about 'the gay underworld'

Vivid and instructive is the matter of the gay underworld, which no longer really exists in our time. But in the 1950’s and a little before then, when the system of global tyranny was being firmly erected, it should not be a surprise from everything that has been said, that the gay underworld was the "negative" of the new world order, its sieve and pressure valve. The gay underworld was part of "the remainder." The phenomenon of "homosexuality" in the modern world reaches up to the most profound of political and social problem: it was always the ghost world, the underworld left over that the engineers of our time couldn’t manage or account for in the erection of the Leviathan. This underworld included far more than the gays of that time, of course: that’s the point. But the gays formed a kind of “bulk population” that allowed an easy bridge between this world and ours. They made it far more permeable to others as well: if you had girlfriend, maybe artsy girlfriend, she had ghey friend; you could go with them to lounge of this half-world, and there would be there…maybe two social contacts removed…there would…one of them. But now that this world has disappeared, you have no easy way of even knowing where to start. Its boundaries were policed, its entry points were surveilled, but it always existed as a space of freedom outside the pervasiveness of domestication in postindustrial civilization.

There are no spaces/paragraphs just blocks of text so I made some:

Roman teenagers of patrician class were sent already on missions on behalf of Empire abroad. Modern adult Western male seeks permission to watch other men playing sports, quaff vegetable oil relish, beg for "coochie" in simulated intercourse, masturbation with plastic on dick. Precisely a character born for conquest, for expansion, a precocious type of boy who seeks real development and the real domination of the space around him, who understands in his blood that play and manliness are to this end, precisely such a boy will have his expectations about life crushed and thwarted as soon as his eyes open.

This may be around the age of six or seven, but it sometimes happens earlier. Such boy then comes to have only contempt for those among his peers who, not seeing the subjection we are in, continue under their delusion and accept the breaking that the lords of shadows begin on the human spirit around this age of awakening--by nine or ten, the "education" is almost already complete in our time. They submit to the yoke and their sham simulated masculinity is now a parody of the true manliness, which in a state of ascent develops into the will to actually dominate space around oneself, not into a caricature for the benefit of women. But this domination is not possible when space is already owned.

This intuition of owned space comes on one very early: with eyes open, it's like an evil spirit inhabits everything. I think there are many types of energetic and perceiving boys who reach this stage, who are turned off by the moral and biological self-castration of their conventional peers, who sense the suffocating limitations of modern space. The rest of this story is more particular to the boy who as response becomes a homo or trap, and Paglia is right about that part--masculinity rejected simply because of distance from other boys in general, mostly as a result of a certain native over-sensitivity. But then there is the added observation that when, late in adolescence or some time in youth, such boy decides he is "gay," that is but the final act of selfmisunderstanding. The drama of his spirit is reinterpreted on sexual terms. He has convinced himself that the feeling of suppression and dread that had accompanied him his whole life was because his sexual desires or "sexuality" had been repressed by "society."

He forgets how these sexual desires developed in the first place, that these desires themselves were a circuitous result of the truth that dawned on him in silence, the truth of the utter subjection and domestication of the space in which he found himself. In becoming "gay" he believes he is escaping that sense of primal limitation and subjection that he felt as a small boy: he has reinterpreted his entire drama as a maudlin story of sexuality suppressed or oppressed by retrograde social and political norms. In this he becomes an unwitting pawn himself of the very power that as a young boy he had intuited to be the enemy, the great and suffocating shadow of our time, that smothers all higher life out. The gay is the spiritual foot-soldier of the new regime, when he is born to be its enemy. This is the unusual part of this realization, that some of the most sensitive and perceptive youths, those maybe imbued with spark of inspiration and a conquering, expanding spirit, end up becoming the vanguard of that which has smothered and broken them.

In a previous age they wouldn’t have been gay at all in the first place. The story of such boy is story of all higher types in our time. Not all gays are of this origin--there is Jeffrey Dahmer, there are others. And of course not all higher types become gay, only a tiny minority. But all higher types in our age are afflicted by a similar drama of the spirit--what happens later, the sexualization of this alienation particular to this case, I use only as the most vivid example.

That guy has to be on some kind of watch list lol.

As I said before he's just kind of stupid. Of course this still exists... Humans keep doing the same [BEEP] over and over. Only the technology and small details change. Humans are also self domesticating and have been doing so for thousands and thousands of years. That process can be painful, as it conflicts with undomesticated parts of your being. Obviously everyone can't stroll around like a serial killer or whatever the [BEEP] is happening here:



And in other cults. They even address this topic in sitcoms now lol:





"In another age maybe you would have been a pirate or a fun bootlegger."

Modern vampires are also largely about self domestication. Generally though non supernatural male characters like this are treated quite poorly like compare Orin to April:



He isn't weirder though really.

It doesn't make sense for Leslie etc to keep saying she shouldn't hang out with him because they are very similar...

I always thought part of the appeal for some killers is shocking people and that's the part I can relate to on some level (also you know, you don't want to be weak,) so it's not ideal. And it's also kind of difficult skirting that line especially when there are a bunch of predators that just don't and decide 'oh hey, I'll kill my girlfriend.' Like 'healthy sadism/darkness.' But I think it's probably necessary. For some people.

Stephen McCullagh, a man from Lisburn, Northern Ireland murdered the expecting mother of his child, Natalie McNally in December. She was 15 weeks pregnant at the time of her death. Stephen faked a live Grand Theft Auto broadcast on his YouTube channel, Votesaxson07, to create an alibi for himself while he stabbed McNally to death. The pre-recorded stream was made several days prior to the killing.

Prosecutors described Stephen's actions as a "sophisticated, calculated and cool-headed plot" and claimed that he was capable of deception beyond imagination.

Stephen left "hidden messages" about Natalie's death in the live stream. For example, during the stream, Stephen undertook a side mission in the game involving the player murdering a woman and making it look like an accident. A photo of James Bond with the title "No Time To Die" also momentarily flashed on the screen during a break in the stream. He also mentions, on multiple occasions that the video is in real-time.

The YouTube video named "The Violent Night Christmas Live Gaming Stream (Streamy Goodness)" remains on YouTube.

OK...

Are they monetising that too?

[Nyctophilia]

Happy Halloween! Even though I now think Halloween is so gimmicky, I have some good childhood memories associated with it. My only ritual is listening to The Marshmallow Ghosts and AFI's All Hallows EP. Last year I watched all of the Halloween themed South Park episodes. I would watch a scary movie, but there aren't any that I'm interested in (I'm very picky with what I watch and when).

I like the idea of it, probably because it's not much of a thing here and wasn't when I was a kid. I went to some Halloween parties at uni which were fun but I only really bothered to dress up one year. Costumes etc are expensive unless you're good at putting things together cheaply and creating stuff yourself which I did at the time a bit, but could have looked better. Mostly it's an excuse to dress up and get drunk for younger adults.

I only went trick or treating once as a young teenager when we were really too old for it (since it's mostly young kids,) but my friend decided it would be fun, but most people just gave us change because they didn't have any sweets/chocolate etc. My parents never celebrated it and didn't like when kids would knock on the door, and most of my parent's generation never did anything. Maybe when I was very young I might have gone to a Halloween party? I have this vague memory but it's barely a memory and could be invented or something. It's become more of a thing over time here so you see quite a lot of decorations now but you wouldn't years ago. I think some kind of social rule has developed where many kids only knock on houses if they have halloween decorations up.

I'm too lazy and asocial to do much now though. Now and then I carve a pumpkin cause I like the effect with candlelight.

[Nyctophilia]

I stumbled on this video and I disagree with some points brought up like the comment later in the video that how people look doesn't change anything in interactions. I appreciate the underlying sentiment I just don't think it's realistic especially in a universe without shapeshifting. Whether you like it or not how you appear to others has a huge impact on how they treat you and then because shapeshifting isn't a norm this is essentialised and if you change they get annoyed, feel betrayed, feel like you've died, try to coerce you into how they see you (doesn't even just apply to gender they do this in general.) A lot of trans people have this experience with their family members. And the differences contribute to people's dysphoria in the first place. Putting that aside it's still difficult to deal with having certain urges that can't be satisfied because you're lacking body parts (not that current surgical methods are perfect,) and really there's research that shows that trans men and women have differences in areas of the brain related to identity and the body.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-17352-8

Our findings suggest that the neuroanatomical signature of transgenderism is related to brain areas processing the perception of self and body ownership, whereas homosexuality seems to be associated with less cerebral sexual differentiation.

Also they bring up the example of David Reimer who was not OK with it, killed himself later:

This was later expanded into The New York Times best-selling biography As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl (2000),[44] in which Colapinto described how--contrary to Money's reports--when living as Brenda, Reimer did not identify as a girl. He was ostracized and bullied by peers (who dubbed him "cavewoman"),[7][45] and neither frilly dresses[46] nor female hormones made him feel female.

Where as they don't seem as bothered and say they considered they might have been a lesbian until being told otherwise when they were 22. Still present very androgynously, uses female name, clearly ambivalent (simultaneously thinks their body is wrong and went off estrogen because it was making them depressed - it does that with most people regardless of sex btw let's be real why do you think women have such a high rate of depression? - but everyone's body is just a shell + avatar, says they don't care about 'the body,' says when asked that they don't know whether they would have preferred for doctors + parents to raise them as a boy because they don't have that experience to compare to or what it would be like to live as a man with erectile dysfunction.) Even those two examples aren't the same... Because it matters for different people to different degrees.

80-90% of the comments are just referring to them as she even though they're genetically male (I'd have to listen to the whole video again carefully but don't remember this even being addressed,) which is ironic because a lot of these people likely wouldn't do the same for a trans person.

Comment thread in which nobody agrees:

Such empathy and intelligence. What a special person. After all the stuff Sophie has been through. I wish her well.

Him

In this particular case, no.

Absolutely HIM. 20 years of hormones could not change HIS natural male gesticulations,and physically male posture. Turn off the sound,and you'll see a young man with long hair, and poor choice of hairstyle.

Rude. And also many lesbians have 'male posture and gesticulations' because that's unrelated again. In fact that's related to part of what this (and other) studies have found:

Our findings suggest that the neuroanatomical signature of transgenderism is related to brain areas processing the perception of self and body ownership, whereas homosexuality seems to be associated with less cerebral sexual differentiation.

Irl only one guy has been confused about why I act like a man, though multiple people have thought I was a lesbian, but I don't suppose most people would think these things since I'm very feminine for a man and only mildly masculine I'd say for a woman. If people find out I'm non-binary online they've asked me questions like 'how are you a man?' Which is a weird question to ask when you keep saying you're non-binary (though I do id as both,) or just refer to me as female pointedly because they're transphobic and I'm also not very masculine. One guy said that his sexuality changed in response to my posts and said that he wanted to suck my dick or something like that after I'd rejected him multiple times.

Then you have the comments like this but this person is probably trolling based on their comment style:

I think that "she" should just transition to male. Despite the lifelong hormones, she's clearly and obviously got very masculine traits.

...and honestly it feels like the whole female personality is just something put on. It's socialised. At the end of this video she's asked about it, and she says some nonesense about we're all just souls in a body and it doesn't matter about the body.

Urmm... if that's true, why are you so masculine and you don't seem to have any natural femininity, beyond what was socialised. Clearly she's still trying to justify it in her head and she's really afraid of transitioning which is saaaddd

Because I'm cute

And it obviously is still burdening down on her, the whole ordeal

What qualifies you to think she's now "over it". She clearly isn't. She's just really afraid of becoming a man because she never was that socially before. And she probably thinks she'll be regarded as a joke, whereas at the moment her life "sort of works so it's all good"
...but it's not.
...which is saaddd

Also noticed there's lots of transvestigators in the comments:

The same surgery was performed on Sandra Bullock and many other models and actors we think are women....

I have heard that Bullock was a man before. How Sandra's last name is a joke on us too. I have to wonder if there is truth to this rumor, but how does one verify this type of thing to know for sure?

To make it in Hollywood you have to be trans

That's what I was talking about before in my other post.... They're everywhere.

Also lol:

This is a shocking story, but still not as shocking as your profile picture of the whole of Ireland as a british flag. Maybe you can explain why you think that Ireland should be british, even though it would go against the wishes of nearly all of those living in the Republic of Ireland (Eire). This is shocking even for me and I am british.

^ that was actually my favourite comment. Because it's just so perfect. Like:



But that wasn't really what I wanted to focus on. Basically this got me to thinking... I don't really get why this topic is as huge as it is right now among cisgender people. Cause in terms of sheer numbers most people talking about this topic can't be trans, non-binary or intersex or otherwise struggling with dysphoria or questioning their gender/sexuality. Yet it's constant in the media and everywhere and not just among these groups.

So this interview is in the UK and in the most recent census they asked a question about gender identity. I believe people answering were age 16+ (and so this also includes a large portion of gen z.) The question asked 'do you identify with the sex you were assigned at birth?' 2.9 million people refused to answer the question - we can assume that most of those are people who have political issues with the concept and are cisgender since I came across lots of complaining online and people refusing to answer such questions on forms etc and making a big deal out of it 'you should only ask people their sex not their gender identity' and so on. So ignoring that 6% 93.5% of the UK population answered yes to the question and 0.5% of the UK population answered no.

I have to say that again. 0.5% of the UK population are trans or non-binary.

262,000 people in the UK out of approximately 67 million people. For comparison 1.5% of the UK describe themselves as gay or lesbian, and 1.3% bisexual. So it's smaller even then that (though obviously that's because it's hugely stigmatised.)

It's potentially even less then that as there's even some discussion that of the people who answered no, some were confused because English isn't their first language. Mostly because they found there were more people who answered no in areas with a higher rate of people speaking English as a second language, certain religious groups, and people with less educational qualifications, so around the time these results were made available various conservative news sources picked up on that.

From something published by Michael Biggs, Department of Sociology and St Cross College, University of Oxford:

The 2021 Census of England and Wales was the first in the world to elicit information on gender identity from an entire population. This paper argues that its results are implausible on the dimensions of geography, education, ethnicity, and religion. The results contradict external sources of data such as referrals to gender clinics and signatures on a pro-transgender petition. The results are also internally inconsistent when the various categories of gender identity are correlated across geography, and when compared to the results for sexual orientation.

Tbf I'm non-binary and I've never been to a gender clinic. I have signed at least one pro trans petition definitely one about conversion therapy in the UK on the official government website.

According to the census, people living in the London boroughs of Newham and Brent are more likely to be trans than those in Brighton 'the LGBT capital of Britain' or in university cities like Cambridge. The chief executive of Stonewall, Britain's leading LGBT campaigning organization, lives in Newham and greeted her borough?s prominence as a 'big surprise' (Kelley, 2023). As a resident of Brent, I shared her surprise. The release of a second tranche of results in April brought further revelations. Adults with no educational qualifications are more likely to identify as trans than university graduates, while blacks and Asians are more likely to identify as trans than whites. These numbers provoked one activist to begin 'worrying' how disproportionately white the leadership of the biggest trans organisations is (Anarchasteminist, 2023). The most astonishing figure is that one in every 67 Muslims is transgender.

From the Independent newspaper:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2360184.html

The census showed that 262,000 people in England and Wales said their gender identity was different from their sex registered at birth.

Proportions were higher among people with Muslim, Sikh or Hindu backgrounds than those who identified as Christian.

Of the 2.7 million people in England and Wales identifying as Muslim, nearly 40,000 told the census their gender was different from the sex registered at birth: a smaller number than in the Christian group (95,000 out of 23.7 million), but a higher proportion (1.5% versus 0.4% ).

There were also higher proportions among people identifying as Buddhist (1.3% ), Sikh (1.0% ), Hindu (0.9% ) and Jewish (0.6% ), although the numbers were again small, at around 3,000, 4,000, 8,000 and 1,000 respectively.

A review disagreed though:

Census data on gender identity reported accurately, says ONS
A review was launched by the Office for Statistics Regulation earlier this year into the agency's response to questions raised by the findings.

Separate data published by the ONS showed that of the 262,000 people who told the census their gender identity was different from their sex at birth, 71% said their main language was English.

Some Muslim majority countries are homophobic and insist people medically transition like Iran, but not really any that have a large number of immigrants in the UK. Afaik that belief exists in Iran (I don't know if it exists outside Iran, I only really hear about Iran,) but most British Muslims aren't Iranian they're from Pakistan and Bangladesh and most Muslim countries are also transphobic.

Some people like to make this point to argue that being trans is inherently homophobic as though Iran invented the concept that's always existed globally... Of course even though medically transitioning is legal in Iran a lot of people are still bigoted against trans people since it's not super trad, it's treated as a mental disorder, you can't be non-binary, transitioning is limited to people over age 18 and you have to have 'virginity tests' and get parental approval. I think there's a similar situation in China where you need approval from your family even as an adult it's very weird. I'm pretty sure you can't be eg: a trans woman and date women or a trans man and date men even though:

A 2015 survey of roughly 3,000 American trans women showed that at least 60% were attracted to women and 55% were attracted to men.[5] Of the trans women respondents 27% answered gay, lesbian, or same-gender-loving, 20% answered bisexual, 19% heterosexual, 16% pansexual, 6% answered asexual, 6% queer, and 6% did not answer.[3]

Until the mid-2010s, medical textbooks commonly suggested that most transgender men were straight.[9][10] However, a 2015 survey of roughly 2000 American trans men showed more variation in sexual orientation or sexual identity among trans men. 23% identified as heterosexual or straight. The vast majority (65% ) identified their sexual orientation or sexual identity as [BEEP] (24% ), pansexual (17% ), bisexual (12% ), gay/same-gender loving (12% ), asexual (7% ), and 5% did not answer.

Would bet they're less willing to allow genetic female people to transition because all trad people are fixated on reproduction and wombs. I wouldn't really say they support trans people in general.

On the other hand third gender people are more common and culturally recognised in countries like India where the state also legally recognises third gender people on passports afaik, but they also tend to be demonised and treated poorly. So it's a bit complicated...

Also of course some people immigrate specifically because they're LGBT+ and wanted to live somewhere with more progressive laws and trans people are more likely to be living in poverty in the US so if that's similar here I wouldn't expect most to be living in eg: Brighton. Very expensive.

My knee jerk reaction would be to think the demographic breakdown is quite odd but on the other hand I can find explanations for a lot of it which is what I'm doing lol to play Devil's advocate. There could also theoretically be genetic differences in certain populations leading to more trans people. I know that British Asian children are more likely to have a severe learning disability than other groups (3x higher according to one study,) but they're less likely to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder which correlates with non-standard gender identities but on the other hand some people might just not be getting diagnosed due to stereotypes about who autistic people are. So that could go either way really.

Also it wouldn't necessarily have to be a genetic difference, there could also be other biological environmental effects effecting certain populations of areas. You know 'they're turning the freaking frogs gay (tm)' (but they weren't gay they were changing sex. No I mean the actual frogs in that research from what I remember. They weren't becoming homosexual they were changing sex. Not quite as snappy as 'turning gay' though I think.)

I think they could have worded the question better in the UK census:

Most seriously, instead of asking whether the respondent is transgender, the question asked whether the respondent is not transgender. Indeed, the phrasing is almost identical to Stonewall's definition of 'cisgender': 'Someone whose gender identity is the same as the sex they were assigned at birth' (Stonewall, 2020). Finally, the question provided no standardized options for gender identity: whether male, female, or neither. By contrast, the question on sexual orientation led to four clear options: straight/heterosexual, gay or lesbian, bisexual, and other; only the last option led to a free-form field.

I don't think that works either since some people consider themselves non-binary but not transgender. I also think there are people who would answer no to the question they ask who wouldn't id as trans or non-binary for various reasons (a bit like how some people aren't monosexual but choose not to label themselves bisexual,) but yeah having multiple options might have helped but only if you include both not just male, female and neither also an 'other' option (tbh I don't really remember how they set up the question now because it's been a couple of years.)

Saying that I wouldn't exactly think it weird for Christians to have the lowest number of trans and non-binary people honestly of various religious groups, even if discounting the possible language factor and other weird things going on here (and most people who are trans or non-binary and grew up Christian would probably abandon the religion in the West before coming out because people from that kind of background who are also LGBT+ tend to have an animosity towards Christianity because it's seen as oppositional in a identity sense. Not completely, and there are lots of people around who are both in a more liberal way, but often that's the case.)

Personally I was raised Christian because a lot of people might be surprised to learn this (I feel like it's something they would be,) but the UK (well England and Wales,) doesn't separate church and state so among other things you have to take part in a daily act of worship unless you're withdrawn:

Section 70 of the School Standards and Framework Act 1998 stipulates that pupils of community, foundation or voluntary schools in England and Wales must take part in a daily act of Collective Worship,[1] unless they have been explicitly withdrawn by their parents.[2] The same requirement is applied to academy schools via their funding agreements,[3] so it is true to say that all maintained schools in England and Wales are subject to the same rules. However, in practice there is widespread non-compliance with the legislation, which has not been monitored by Ofsted since 2004.[4]

So this was a thing when I was in primary school but I think less so in secondary school. When we had forms in school or whatever my mum just always wrote down Christian anyway.

My family background is also catholic (my cousin who I was close to growing up went to catholic schools for primary and high school, and my mum went to a catholic primary school though not high school and I remember her expressing envy for her younger sister who did go I can't remember why she couldn't maybe some catchment rule at the time or something. Not sure about her other siblings.) My dad didn't want me to be christened because he wanted me to make up my own mind about religion, I think he also disagreed with being my cousin's godfather or involved in something related to the religion regarding my cousin (I don't remember fully the details but I think essentially because there was some requirements or something that he disagreed with regarding autonomy of beliefs again, but my memory is too poor to quote specifics, and he also might have been misinformed.)

As a kid I was very sad about this and cried at one point round my grandmas house because I felt bad about that and I think also felt that I was 'bad' because of that, wouldn't be let into heaven, Jesus wouldn't love me, other weird things. It's honestly like thinking about another person looking back lol, but I still grew out of Christianity anyway gradually throughout early teen years (for reasons entirely unrelated to this.) I also think my feelings back then were probably influenced by wanting to fit in with my cousin and mum's family because I felt more distanced from my mum and her side of the family than my dad's even though I was very close with my cousin growing up. There were lots of things going on then and later contributing to my feelings about that, but I'm not writing an essay here lol. Not that they were particularly religious, it never came up really except like certain events and awareness of school stuff.

Meanwhile in Christian Uganda:



Uganda is actually the only Christian nation that has the death penalty for homosexuality too.

In spite of everything I've just said this is a huge topic of political discussion and debate and general animosity. Not unique to this time period either really.. The wider topic seems to fascinate Humans a lot throughout history.

It's painful though because nobody reads research papers and just comes out with this [BEEP] like 'I decided he was male because of his body language.' 'F1nn5ter is female because I want to [BEEP] him'

This is actually how things work in practice whether you are cis or trans. So the whole argument about sex is moot.

Also I'm surprised the bisexuality percentage is so low and that's definitely due to stigma and the mixture of terms that get used imo. 0.3% apparently selected 'other orientation' (I think I probably did,) and probably a bunch of those identify as pansexual etc as well. I would be surprised if more people were homosexual than bisexual though.