Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Lol 'drink water' reminds me of this:



The water thing is to help avoid a hangover because alcohol dehydrates you not to stop you choking. I basically never sleep on my back but I had that on mind when I got really drunk (but I only got really drunk once.) It didn't happen though (I threw up in the street etc,) but I was really ill for like a week and it didn't help that the whole thing ended up overlapping with my period.

"Smoking cigarettes is bad for your skin and lungs etc and also I nearly died days ago choking on alcohol."

LOL.

That sums up the British millennial attitude perfectly worrying about second hand smoke while binge drinking when we were young.



Only he's weirdly gen z and most of them don't drink from what I've heard. And they all vape or whatever. I mean I guess he's a 'zillenial' and also these terms are all still nonsense lol but yeah.

Pretty sure I'm going to be a zillenial when they finish whatever they're doing lol:

The exact date range of this micro-generation is not specifically defined. Avery Hartmans, writing for Business Insider citing a study on U.S. consumers, defines a Zillennial as anyone born between 1990 and 2000.[17][18] Boston University sociologist Deborah Carr defines zillennials as those born "roughly" between 1992 and 2002.[19] Authors Hannah Ubl, Lisa Walden, and Debra Arbit define the cuspers as those born between 1992 and 1998, as does Mary Everett, writing for PopSugar[7] and Vogue.[20] A WGSN case study on the cohort similarly notes this date range.[3] Others have defined zillennials as those born from 1993 to 1998, including Deon Smit (HR Future),[13] Maisy Farren (Vice),[21] Lindsay Dogson (Business Insider Mexico),[22] and MetLife.[23] Ketchum defines GenZennials as those born from 1992 to 2000.[14] Fullscreen defines the cusp group as those born from approximately 1993 to 1999 in their research.[10] Author Mary Donahue defines the cuspers as those born from 1995 to 2000.[24]

But they changed the definition of millenial a bunch of times already and gen x is so small in range it's like 1967-1980 or something so I guess it makes more sense.

I also think there's a case to be made that my uni experience (I was born in 1991 so started uni in 2009,) was like the last one before social media + online dating really took over completely (which to me is the defining factor of gen z) and even then it was the early days of Facebook and you couldn't go out without people taking photos and uploading them to Facebook. So it was hugely influential but people were communicating without apps still and dating people they met irl and Facebook was people you knew irl at least in a distant way.

But like literally after I graduated that was over. So yeah 1994 and later is very gen z coded. And people in that in-between period found it difficult to adapt imo because if they didn't meet someone in uni they were kind of screwed (and also most of gen z are very mentally ill as well.) And that also goes a long way in explaining weird millenials and the first wave of incels were mostly people in my age range too I think. And then there's this lol:





Which I guess is technically the liberal millennial musical number lol? It's funny because it came out during lockdown and he's in his 30s but yeah. I guess that's usually how it goes. Green Day created American Idiot in their 30s.

There's also the thing where approximately my generation especially of university students invented like the knee sock thing and the trans programmer/early femboy stereotype but not really while at uni. There was one trans woman when I was at uni but everyone else mostly was closeted and came out later. But the building blocks were there and people had started talking about that stuff online. It was also more socially acceptable in the US. There are also some older millennials incl. some in the UK who are now in their late 30s but they were often people who went to uni late or were otherwise involved in fandom culture or something like that so in a bit of a time loop. Also this video still cracks me up:



I guess that's quintessentially zillenial. Also Tina from Bob's Burgers even though she's trapped eternally in kid mode like a Simpsons character. Also aside from one reference in one episode there's no mention of smart phones on this show it's stuck in some weird hauntological time loop where they try to make the time period as vague as possible. Bob and Linda also fit into this kind of ambiguous thing where it seems like Linda was in high school in the 80s but Bob is really into 70s music etc.

Tina also embodies a common millennial quirk. She's dysfunctionally ambivalent--in the whole length of the parking lot, she can't make up her mind which way to turn to avoid a collision--but, even in inaction, seldom tongue-tied. "Time for the charm bomb to explode," she says, awkwardly flipping her hair, in a widely shared screencap. She's also a decidedly moral person: After she crashes the car, she won't let her dad leave without writing a note for the owner of the other car.

Going to start using that. 'Dysfunctionally ambivalent.' That scene is great:



There's a lot of music on the show now which I think annoys a lot of people. I don't mind it though.

They made an album too lol from that episode where Gene and Bob go to that fake 70s band show with the lasers:



Parts of this are obviously based on 2112 lol:



Fun facts about Christmas lights song lol:



"Twinkly lights shine
If one them goes out, then none of them light
Or at least thet's how it used to be
Now the LEDs work a little bit differently
But you know what I mean"

"FINALLY a song about light bulbs"

Oh yeah this was cute too (I'm re-watching this show atm):



"Music's a lot harder to do when you're not good at it. We know that now."

So many quotable lines lol.

Also I discovered this song through the show lol:

Are millennials gender rebels or returning to tradition?

Yes.

I think reddit has decided I'm a 'core millenial' lol.

1995, 1996, and 1997 started kindergartner between 2000-2003. 2000s childhood.

1980, 1981 and 1982 started kindergarten in 1985-1987. 80s childhood.

1989, 1990, 1991 started kindergarten between 1994-1996 90s childhood.

Early, core, and late millennials all have a different frame of reference for their childhoods-adolescence because they spent their childhood in 3 different decades.

Also just realised 1992 - 1994 mysteriously vanished here (along with most of the 80s.) Lol my brother and lots of kids I hung out with as a kid and one of my ex boyfriends maybe doesn't exist. I can't remember if my first ex was born in 1989 or 1988 now tbh. Might have been late 1988. 0r 1989. I could find out very quickly but I have a phobia of Facebook now lol.

Yeah, kids today even use the same toys as we used back in the day. My sister used Tamagotchi in 2005 and 2006 and now my neighbour's granddaughter who's 8 even have Tamagotchi. It's more advanced one but still. Even clothing trends are repeated like chokers that girls used to wear around 2004. Overally I think that a lot of younger Gen Z and Alpha take inspirations from our childhood, in the early to mid 2000s especially. 90s things aren't that popular for them like 2000s things are.

Do they know I had a tamagotchi in 1998 which is around when they first became popular lol? (The person posting this was born in 1997 according to their flair.) They were actually banned at my school.

Me with my mum as a kid:



Lol not really though I was never that entitled. But she did try to look after my cat one for a while (I had a couple of others later too which she didn't look after,) and she was working lol so they always died. They were actually a really bad invention for kids because obviously you can't have them at school/work. Also we never had actual cats or dogs as pets when I was growing up just fish mostly and then we looked after a rabbit for a year or less when I was in high school that was never really ours. Also looked after some gerbils at one point that I retconned into being our pets in memory but apparently they weren't lol. You have cat cafes now in London which were adopted from Japan because most people can't have pets in rented accomodation and also can't fit pets into their lifestyle (or kids hence you know. Nobody having kids.)

This is just like Pokemon where a bunch of people are arguing now over which Pokemon generation you grew up with first that defines you when it's just been the same Japanese game repackaged over and over again for two+ decades now. Here's how it works: you love the first 1-2 generations you grow up with, third is still fun, by the fourth you're losing interest unless you're really hardcore about it. You forget the details of every Pokemon game after that that you bothered buying and stop buying them after 5-6 gens. They also reboot old Pokemon games too early to maximise/exploit nostalgia imo. I was still a kid when fire red and leaf green came out which were the first reboots I think. I played red when I was like 7/8 or so and fire red when I was 13. Everything and nothing is changing simultaneously.

I'm never going to be a zoomer though. I refuse. The label is stupid.

Also I only watched like the first half of that video before where he talks about how he almost died but the way F1nn's audience on twitch are constantly trying to get him to say he's trans or come out as trans is deeply uncomfortable to me because he already has all that knowledge and is of an age where it's more socially acceptable so if he wants to he can and if he's not there's a good reason for it.

Also I say this as someone who has a feminisation fetish so that's how you know it's bad lol. Some of them seem relentless.

I also note the incredibly weird dynamic with social media audiences where if you don't say you're trans transphobes mostly ignore you and other people try to encourage you to transition, and when you do say you're trans you get lots of really negative transphobic comments especially if you make content outside certain bubbles and you get noticed by certain websites which tend to tear people apart for expressing vulnerability as I've said before (not just trans people.) Some of the [BEEP] I read in people's comments sections really bums me out at times.

If you haven't medically transitioned and you have a sizeable audience and make a video talking about something related to gender - especially if you give them even an inch by pandering to transphobes concerns - you just see a bunch of comments like 'everyone who medically transitions regrets it.' which isn't even true based on research. Coupled with - (if you're a trans guy or afab in general) 'you don't look like a guy' or 'I think you look better as a girl' ??? comments calling you a narcissist, delusional, every negative thing you can imagine really. Worse I think for older trans people on YouTube who are older than 35 and people whose content isn't generally about that topic but make one or two videos, but will happen regardless I think.

[Heelsbythebridge]

[BEEP] I need a drink

Each day is just worse than the one before it until I die

[Nyctophilia]

Why do all social norms go out the window when trans people are involved? Like why would it ever be OK to ask someone about their genitals in that setting?



I thought this video was going to be all about the title but I guess that's just one clip in the video or something. Also I'm realising now that the video screenshot said 'would you date a trans girl' not 'would you date a trans guy' and tbh that interests me less. I feel like we get the answer to the question constantly in research, in guys giving unsolicited opinions often, in people asking that question all the time. Then there's the whole comphet thing where women in general value themselves based on whether guys find them attractive even if they're not attracted to guys. I don't think there's any research on guys who find trans guys attractive though. Or on women's sexual interest in anyone. Or on female sexuality in general there's a shortage of research on that, on trans guys, on non-binary people in general, and on genetic female people in general so...

I haven't finished watching it yet but the first clip is insane.

Actually if someone did that I'd try to make them as uncomfortable as possible and just pretend I was on my period (if I wasn't,) and then go into graphic details about my period because that doesn't make me uncomfortable but it would make them uncomfortable. They'd learn.

In fact I think another trans guy did that haha there was that 'period prince' guy who created a song about periods and everyone was freaking out about him (including that one Danish transphobic trans guy who just makes content complaining about other trans people because he wants to suck up to cis people and get $$$ from them.) I kind of get it though.

I imagine his brain is like this (like this slow as well):



"No I don't have feelings 'cause feelings are gay."

This is literally gen z humour in a nutshell

ComicallyLargeOpinion s Well if this is Gen Z humor (which it's not, because when this came out most of Gen Z was still shitting diapers) I wish they would show it, since it seems to me the only things they find funny is goofies dancing around to other people's music on tiktok

the majority of people who genuinely like content based around nothing but tiktok dances are the generation below, very late gen z and millennials. This sort of irony is exactly what a lot of people who partake in gen z meme culture find funny. Hence why i replied to a comment saying 'this man was twelve years ahead of his time'. Now if you had read that before getting defensive you'd know the age of gen z is irrelevant and you'd actually understand what i was saying.

Yeah I get what they're talking about there's a subset of late gen z with a similar comedic style like her:





Not the tiktok stuff obviously. I don't know why they bring up millenials though since millenials are less likely to be on tiktok (I'm not on that site,) and that guy is a older millennial I assume and it was popular at the time.

Also nothing is really new and a lot of the ironic stuff gen z like is just like stuff that was mostly created from 2008-2013ish like this:



And this lol:



I like that a lot since I have a degree in games art (modelling, texturing etc,) and I'm not good at animation either (animation was part of it but not the main part.)

Now you have surreal entertainment making ironically bad + surreal animation:



I'm mad that I didn't think to make this channel first honestly because it's exactly my kind of humour as well.

Also Ben Shapiro actually posted a video reacting to this video and he was really confused and like 'wtf' and that's living the dream:



I want to confuse everyone who annoys me.

I mean I make surreal gaming content but it's not the same.

Uh yeah so watching more of that other video... The thing about women like that woman responding to Dylan Mulvaney is they just start talking about their experiences with childbirth etc as though every cis woman has gone through that experience in the first place are you not allowed to talk about being a woman unless you've given birth? Multiple times in her case?

It's like some weird form of bragging really. and that's their one move lol 'well I had kids.' 'I can give birth.' OK? But most female people have throughout history. Historically speaking most women reproduced, less so for men. Technically it would make more sense to brag about not having kids as a female person (which people do as well lol,) because that's historically novel (and it also pisses off conservatives who think you are destroying civilisation. Which is somewhat amusing because you have something they want but they still keep talking [BEEP] about you anyway because they're so bad at what they do. They even admit this lol 'we're not good at selling a vision to young people, we can't appeal to them' lol.) Or better still be the modern day Mozart and then don't talk about that because bragging is kind of cringe.

They also can't stand the fact that she's getting attention which tbh is mostly coming from conservatives in the first place. I'd never heard of Dylan until they all started reacting to her content.

[Doseone]

I'm very into culture war figures/debates (not so much religious vs atheist debates specifically though,) but weirdly I can't actually listen to much of Ben Shapiro. I've listened to some of his rants about music and a few other things, and also thought the whole Barbie review arc recently was amusing, but he just kind of bores me for the most part. I spend a lot of time reading/watching stuff I disagree with and stuff that annoys me too but he's just kind of boring to the point where I could never even be bothered to watch most of his videos. Same with Steven Crowder and a lot of other mainstream right wing speakers.

This might just be because I don't listen to Ben Shapiro much but he seems to take things very literally and have this kind of hyper rational approach but like it's a fetishisation of rationality almost. He's a bit authoritarian too about some subjects I've seen him bring up. It's kind of amusing in small doses (like some of his comments about music and lyrics etc,) but also I imagine irritating on an ongoing basis.

Also I feel like this is a difficult thing for two individual people to debate. Ben Shapiro is Jewish so he's only going to be arguing from that pov, though I guess you could argue that's fine because the Abrahamic religions are the most popular anyway, especially in Western countries. So it might be representative of a lot of religious people.

There are certain psychological phenomenon that seem to persist regardless of culture and stated beliefs though. So from my pov polytheism just got absorbed by politics, fantasy role playing games (like warhammer 40k, Elder Scrolls etc,) and comic book culture. It's also kind of like the concept of American Gods. Lol this is funny 'No I was not technically inspired by all these other British writers' because British people are all the same and know each other (tm) (not really though there are actually several different British people):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Gods



Anyway yeah it didn't really go anywhere even though most Western people are technically no longer polytheistic. So debating whether it's good or bad seems kind of pointless because it seems to be something the Human mind just does automatically. Or at least a lot of people's minds do. Suppressing that is probably counterproductive, so I think you need ways to integrate certain tendencies in a healthy way I dunno. I don't even know what that would look like or if it's possible and people don't agree on anything anyway lol.

LOL, yeah, I remember Ben Shapiro saying something about how rap/hip hop wasn't music. xD

Those debates are actually what got me to change my beliefs (which I think is probably rare unless you're already agnostic). I used to consider myself Christian/Catholic, and then slowly became less and less orthodox, until I was basically agnostic. I still consider myself agnostic/fallibilist with respect to religion. I have my personal beliefs, but I'm open to being wrong. From watching/listening to those I've heard pretty much every argument for and against the existence of God. What I learned is that neither side is convincing and I can come up with better arguments myself. lol (Though, that's probably not fair as I learned a lot about Christian history, etc.) I personally thought the Q & A's were more interesting as a lot of these debates were held on college campuses. People would bring up a lot of good points whereas the debaters themselves tend to repeat the same points.

It would be interesting to see more Eastern vs. Western debates on spirituality. Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, Daoism, and Sikhism. But yeah, people in the West tend to associate religion/God with traditional Christianity and they're knowledge of other religions in lacking. People have probably heard of Ganesha, but they've never heard of Brahman/Atman. They just assume that Hindu gods are on par with Greek deities hence mythological.

[Nyctophilia]

The last few days I keep having these dreams where I want to stay longer in London or go to London but something is getting in the way. I get that it's supposed to be symbolic and I've had similar dreams before with wanting to take photos of things but my camera being out of batteries and wanting to go swimming but something gets in the way. It's a weird choice though.

The swimming thing makes more sense because that's actually been something that's happened to me irl and I really love swimming. The London thing doesn't really atm maybe it's because there was a period when I was missing London during the pandemic? But I visited London last month so it's not a burning desire. Also I think food was involved in both these dreams (don't remember that part of my other dream that well, and the subject changed later anyway I didn't wake up then,) but definitely my last one involved food. I wanted to get some pizza from London in my last dream (lol like go all the way to London for this pizza from some stall not even like a restaurant or something,) which again is a weird choice. I'm not super into pizza in general but I do get dominos now and then and don't need to go to London for that.

Edit: Also according to some people I live in London. 😐

Lol that's probably why actually the fact it costs me like ?30+ (pounds) for a travel card. (If you don't buy off peak it goes up to more than 40 pounds I think.)

When you live 30 miles away and a concert ticket is cheaper than transport lol. Or at least around the same price. I should prob start walking around London more instead of using the underground.

There was a video where someone walked from the airport here to London and I can't find it now but it's understandable lol.

[Nyctophilia]

LOL, yeah, I remember Ben Shapiro saying something about how rap/hip hop wasn't music. xD

Those debates are actually what got me to change my beliefs (which I think is probably rare unless you're already agnostic). I used to consider myself Christian/Catholic, and then slowly became less and less orthodox, until I was basically agnostic. I still consider myself agnostic/fallibilist with respect to religion. I have my personal beliefs, but I'm open to being wrong. From watching/listening to those I've heard pretty much every argument for and against the existence of God. What I learned is that neither side is convincing and I can come up with better arguments myself. lol (Though, that's probably not fair as I learned a lot about Christian history, etc.) I personally thought the Q & A's were more interesting as a lot of these debates were held on college campuses. People would bring up a lot of good points whereas the debaters themselves tend to repeat the same points.

It would be interesting to see more Eastern vs. Western debates on spirituality. Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, Daoism, and Sikhism. But yeah, people in the West tend to associate religion/God with traditional Christianity and they're knowledge of other religions in lacking. People have probably heard of Ganesha, but they've never heard of Brahman/Atman. They just assume that Hindu gods are on par with Greek deities hence mythological.

Yeah I imagine that's rare. I don't think most people watch debates to challenge their beliefs tbh. I can't think of any debates off the top of my head that really did that for me but sometimes I discover new info about something and change my mind.

I also don't remember ever going to a debate irl or even having that option. Universities in the US seem to have a lot more cultural and political stuff going on (or people just assume they do and complain about that a lot,) but I was never really aware of that happening when I was at uni. Any talks and such we went to were related to the degree subject I was studying so we had famous video game developers and other film and animation people come in a few times I think. (Like Peter Molyneux and Double Negative they worked on a lot of stuff like Inception, Interstellar, Blade Runner 2049 but this was before that film.) So that was cool but not really the same thing lol.

The only political thing I can remember noticing was this one protest at another nearby uni when I was at uni that some people were taking part in about student loans because I had someone added who went to that uni on Facebook and I think talked about it? But my memory is so vague that maybe that didn't happen. There was even an election going on when I was at uni in my first year, but I wasn't signed up to vote and was distracted at the time so didn't, and barely anyone talked about it on Facebook from what I remember lol (maybe nobody did? I think someone might have spoken about the 2012 US election on Facebook actually.)

That stuff does happen here I'm sure and there are some universities that are well known for being very involved in certain topics (Goldsmiths university is seen as very left wing,) there are also like Oxford Union debates which are really popular online but that's unrelated to the university student union and independent afaik but it confuses me because I watched a debate with Katie Hopkins once where she addressed everyone there as though they were Oxford uni students. I guess most of the people there are students but not exclusively.

But the uni I went to wasn't really like that, especially at that time period. So no debates and that might be for the best since I imagine it would have been a huge distraction and my workload was already really insane and I was trying to juggle that with having a social life and occasionally playing video games lol. Also every module on my degree was chosen for us and related to the degree subject (except for this one business module we had to do. Which was basically just an advert for this guy's book lol which we all ended up pirating because it was only available for an insane amount of money on Amazon.) I prefer what I've heard about the US system because it seems like you get more choice and can experiment more.

I considered myself a Christian as a child but then just kind of grew out of the beliefs gradually as I aged. There wasn't really a specific thing that contributed to that I just kind of drifted away from it and thought most of those beliefs didn't make much sense especially if you took it literally alongside science. So I suppose I was already disregarding a bunch of stuff anyway and then just dropped the rest. As I aged and became more alternative a lot of religious people and the beliefs themselves contradicted who I was as a person and also my own personal values so that contributed to me drifting more away from it too. I was interested in wicca and neo-paganism as a teenager and young adult, but more in a cultural and aesthetic sense than a religious sense.

[Nyctophilia]

False accusers have always been a thing just like real victims not being believed.

you are correct but what has changes is the way men are just guilty in the court of public opinion with nothing but an accusation and hes ruined for years if not life.

No that hasn't changed either. The difference is what's considered harassment has changed so women put up with less now before saying anything and you also see it happening with famous people who have a huge following but would have gotten away with things in the past, and that now gets lots of attention on social media.

But the response to hearing something like that always would have been avoidance because that's how women especially instinctively respond. They don't know if someone's lying so it just makes more sense to avoid men if they have a bad reputation + women tend to be risk averse.

Men also do the same thing now really like MGTOW etc so it's more of a general cultural thing imo where nobody trusts (or likes,) each other.

i was a generally speaking . But here is the thing, 9 times out of 10 when guys say they were falsely accused they are lying or delusional. It may be some misunderstanding or crossed signal because the guy did not prioritize clear consent, did not weigh power dynamics or substances that were involved. Rarely is a random guy pulled off the street and accused out of the blue. Anything outside of clear sober consent is a bad idea.

It depends on what they're being accused of but that's what I was saying. There are cases where people straight up lie but far more often now they're telling the truth it's just that more things are seen as inappropriate now + more women want to talk about their negative feelings instead of just putting up with stuff that bothers them. Like you used to be able to get away with groping random women without them saying anything (I've been groped before by people and haven't told anyone else about it irl but I'm posting about it now lol though nobody knows who they are.) Now especially if that person is famous people will talk about them doing that on social media etc.

And that's another thing actually just because women are venting or complaining online doesn't mean there's a serious issue all the time. Or that that's something you can fix. Unfortunately I don't know if a lot of women are self aware enough to realise that. It seems not. Your discomfort isn't necessarily a ginormous cultural issue that we have to control and do something about immediately. Since the end result of this political and cultural agitation seems to be women losing freedom, I'm not a huge fan.

I was responding to the comment earlier that false accusers should face charges and that's what defamation laws are for. I agree with you that false accusers are dangerous people but unlike this woman, I dont want to go back to a time when women are fearful to report sexual harassment and rape. We'll always have to deal with criminals and liars.

It won't solve the cultural issue you're talking about between men and women because I don't think most women lie (well about this anyway,) especially in court. Actually perjury is a crime but if you can't prove whether someone has raped you (and you rarely can,) then it's also going to be hard to prove someone is lying about being raped. Slander is also a civil offence but it doesn't really act as a strong deterrent.

But like I say the problem isn't really criminal most of the time, most guys aren't going to prison and sometimes they're not even being accused of a crime just of being creepy. Not that that never happens but I don't think false imprisonment is a problem most guys will ever have to deal with - so the wider issue is a social thing. Like when women upload videos of some guy talking to them and it's just an awkward conversation but he's not touching them or doing anything inappropriate he's just socially awkward. They post it on social media and it always seems to attract a really large audience and then it creates a culture where even if that guy never sees it a bunch of other guys will and think 'oh no this is probably how women feel when I talk to them.'

What's strange is that I always hear this is diminishingly rare, but I hear about it all the time, I know people it's happened to, everyone I know knows people it's happened to. I strongly suspect it's not nearly as rare as they're trying to portray.

I don't know anyone this has ever happened to honestly. I don't think I've even met someone who was accused of rape or even sexual harassment fake or not. If I did I didn't know about it. I think in some environments this happens a lot more like actual rape and also false accusations.

Oh wait it happened to me technically LOL. But other than me no. Not really though but like a girl I grew up with accused me of perving on girls in the female changing rooms (which I wasn't doing and I wasn't into any girls in my school back then. In hindsight I feel like there were moments with some girls where I had complicated feelings but not really and I wasn't doing that in the changing rooms nor had any urge to do that it never crossed my mind,) and she tried to claim that's why I was socially anxious etc. But afaik she didn't tell anyone else about it cause I didn't hear about this from anyone else. I think maybe this one other girl she hung out with may have been there during some of these moments where she'd claim this. But my memory is bad so I can't say for sure and don't remember everything from this time of my life well now. At one point she ran her foot up my leg to try and 'prove it' which is ironic.

But yeah so I was thinking back through people I knew and then was like 'I even grew up with a girl who was quite psychopathic and I don't remember her accusi- oh wait. That's right. She accused me.' But yeah. She didn't really spread that around. And if she did nobody brought that up to me and it had no obvious impact.

There was a teacher who was very touchy feely when I was in school and just with girls as far as I remember and everyone assumed he was some kind of pervert because of that I don't know if he realised how that came across to people, but that was just something students assumed and talked about because of his behaviour and it made people uncomfortable.

There was some situation that happened with that girl I knew too where the librarian (not the teacher I'm talking about,) was making her and some other people we knew CD's with their names on it or something like that I can't fully remember. I think maybe they were paying him for that and then I remember them getting into trouble and having to talk to other teachers about whatever was going on and they were actually pulled out of like assembly or something and one of those teachers seemed pretty annoyed (but again my memory is really shit.) I remember her implying to me that either he had some less than pure intentions or that other people assumed he did. But I didn't really know the details of that cause I wasn't paying him for those CD's, and I also don't remember fully.

And that was like it for school. As far as I remember again my memory is shit. Also one girl was killed by her ex in my sixth form I think we can conclude he's a real problem on account of the whole unaliving thing that occured.

See lol (this is what I meant when I said guys do this):

False accusations aren't limited to strangers. Anyone who's gone through a relationship with a woman knows the person you marry or date isn't the same person you break up with. Lies & slander & character assassination are common weapons women use against each other let alone boyfriends & husbands. It's an age old teaching hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, for a reason. Common place for women to claim their ex was abusive, go into the details and you'll find if they were actually abusive they omit their own abuse and never reported it. 70% of domestic abuse is initiated by women not men with same percentage for non reciprocal abuse. Same with children, lesbians, infanticide, it's all women majority doing it.

Same kind of attitude. And they always have issues with lesbians. (Which is a bit ironic when you think about it.) It's actually the historical norm in writing to demonise women and see women as evil. It shows up more than the reverse probably because most women's writing didn't really get as popular so it seems one sided that way. I think women disliked men just as much back then though, and since the 20th and 21st centuries women have been a lot more vocal online and in feminist academia etc. So the negativity seems kind of weird and new because of that. Leads some people to misleadingly believe women used to be happier I think. They probably complained less.

Also (many such cases):



"I'm only happy when it rains"

Good job you live in Scotland then, I hate how much it rains in the UK and I don't even live in the part of the UK with the most rain lol. Oh wait no she doesn't I had to check lol since famous musicians move around a lot obviously.

Manson was married to Scottish artist Eddie Farrell from 1996 to 2003. In 2008, Manson became engaged to record producer and Garbage sound engineer Billy Bush.[149] They were married at a Los Angeles courthouse in May 2010.[150][151] They continue to reside in Los Angeles, while Manson maintains a second home in the Edinburgh suburb of Joppa.[6]

How dare you live somewhere so sunny.

While browsing the role reversal subreddit a week or so ago, I discovered a post talking about a book that kind of addresses this topic called The Tragedy of Heterosexuality but I haven't read the book just going by this post, and I'm skeptical of theories that overly emphasise social stuff in the way this book seems to be doing anyway:

Lately I have been mulling over some of the concepts in Jane Ward's The Tragedy of Heterosexuality which is a great book filled with many observations that are relevant to RR, and one of those is Ward's description of the cultural movement and ideology that she broadly terms "heterosexual repair." The basic gist being that once upon a time male/female romantic relationships were actually not given anywhere near the primacy they enjoy today, in fact it was commonly understood that the most significant relationships, both platonic and erotic, one could experience were with the members of one's own sex. There were many historical developments which led to the decline of this paradigm and the rise of the heterosexual couple as the new basic unit of society, many to do with nascent forms of eugenics and hand-wringing about the "wrong" sort of people reproducing too much, but suffice it to say that some time in the last two centuries redressing the dire state of relations between the sexes was taken up as a crusade by various authorities from doctors to sexologists to lawmakers.

And despite having less than pure motivations it was probably for the best that somebody did something, because at the time there was almost nothing that men and women admired or related to in the other, body or mind. This was famously the era of hilarious ignorance and mystification over women's anatomy, but the medical establishment were also alarmed to observe that most women also regarded their husband's naked bodies with something between terror and confusion, and saw their participation in sex as an onerous duty at best. This all needed to change if people of good breeding were to get breeding, so the first heterosexual repair industries emerged, churning out commodities designed to help straight men and women find each others' personalities bearable and bodies fuckable. Initially the lion's share of these were aimed at women, such as douches filled with caustic chemicals, or instructional pamphlets on how to practice good housewifery, like 'don't expect your husband to acknowledge your existence when he gets home after leaving you alone, with no other adults, for twelve consecutive hours.'

But heterosexual repair evolved and expanded rapidly over the decades to cater to both sexes with modern Seduction/PUA culture being the most recent addition purporting to fix men?s particular frustrations with heterosexual courtship. It's more gender neutral, liberal, and 'woo-woo' counterpart can be found in the many offshoots and derivatives of Deida inspired divine feminine/masculine coaching, itself an evolution of the aughts complementarian craze brought on by bestsellers like Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. One of the main ways in which these movements fall short, at least in my eyes, is that they attempt to fix heterosexuality without challenging any of its fundamental assumptions about the essential nature of gendered difference. Indeed the argument could be made that the ideological function of heterosexual repair is to make patriarchal gender roles palatable, even erotic, without doing anything that might threaten their status as presumably natural and transhistorical structures. 'Men and Women may be equals, but they're still (essentially) different after all.'

For a while, the only alternative tendency to oppose heterosexual repair was "queering" heterosexuality, to which, I would argue, role reversal is an analogous movement. Both actively destabilize gendered assumptions about how men and women and enbies must understand and relate to one another and themselves. They reject heterosexual culture as such, and attempt to create a gender sandbox in which men and women can enjoy the freedom of expression and creativity in romance and sex which [BEEP] people have long secreted for themselves. However, as Ward points out, queering heterosexuality failed, not just due to "cringe," but because ultimately straight people by and large proved to be too...straight. Whether due to practicality, familiarity, or who knows what else, they were loathe to part with their culture, with their predetermined roles and affects.

And this is something I see reproducing itself within this very subreddit now and again. People who come to a community that is overtly about flouting, deconstructing and inverting gender roles, just to post about relationship tropes and dynamics which would not be out of place in Fleischer Brothers cartoon and then get weirdly combative when called out on it. Or to spread "positivity" in support of things that, in the outside world, are completely normal for their gender, even compulsory, such as the routine "That's right, I'm a man who's masculine! Deal with it!" or "Aren't I so weird for disliking pegging?" posts without the barest hint of self-awareness. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with these sentiments as they're just stating preferences, but they are ubiquitous in the culture at large, and counter-counter-culture is just that: culture. Mainstream. Vanilla.

Thought that seemed kind of irritating too.

Though perhaps the most curious are the people who interpret rr itself as an extension of heterosexual repair; who insist that the only way that they will be able to experience a relationship where men are allowed to be emotionally vulnerable, or women will not have to take care of 90% of household chores(though these are less common and vastly more sympathetic) in their lifetimes is if an obscure subculture with no clout whatsoever uses the power of memes to invent an egalitarian heterosexuality in a fashion that, like all hr, completely bypasses the need to challenge patriarchy. Even if it were vastly more popular, rr like "queering straightness" before it, is by its very nature an attempt to subvert and undermine heterosexual culture, and therefore cannot readily reform or replace it. Instead it should in my view be primarily a resource for gender nonconforming people interested in m/f relationships to learn about the unique joys and challenges of practicing this unusual dynamic, not a space to rehabilitate hetero-fatalists.

That is pretty funny.

This all of course begs the question, if heterosexual repair doesn't work, and role-reversal can't replace it, where are the hetero-fatalists, the men who are threatened by genderbending but still want cuddles, and so on supposed to go? Don't they have legitimate reasons for being disillusioned with traditional heterosexual romance? I don't have a definitive answer obviously, but there may be some promise in a concept Ward offers in the last chapter of her book called "deep heterosexuality." Although heavily derived from the ideas of [BEEP] thinkers, deep heterosexuality does not attempt to fix straight culture by exhorting straights to indulge in gendered taboos that they "surely must want to, deep, deep down" but instead by resolving its underlying contradictions. Ward devotes an entire chapter to the concept, so I won't make this post any longer explicating it, but the goal is getting straight, gender-conforming men and women to realize a version of heterosexuality where fucking the opposite sex goes hand in hand with humanizing them, to not just passively identify as straight by default, but to intentionally and passionately explore their straightness in much the same way gay people had to discover and create their own orientation. Its one idea anyway, I'd be interested to hear of other alternatives.

It's a bit excessive as an explanation for the issues on that one subreddit I think there are other simpler and more accurate issues namely that there's not strict outline of what counts as role reversal in the first place so you get people arguing over their preferences not being catered to on the subreddit. Also lots of men going there looking for validation in sometimes the worst place... Posted about that before though.

But heteropesimism which this book seems to be addressing is a problem and probably not going away.

Do men and women like each other? No I don't think a lot of them do.

The end?

They don't have much in common after all on a group level. (Especially in rich and egalitarian countries somehow the personality differences are even greater according to research.) They get together to reproduce. Also some people have a sex drive and want sex.

That's sad I guess. Some people apparently think that's so important we have to force people together and control all women and force them into marriage at young ages or something.
Don't you think it's better in that case that we just die out as a species? Is it worth reproducing if people are so unhappy? But it doesn't matter because this isn't about some ideal in the first place it's usually about your sexual fetish lol. I hope you get a sex robot some day.

I'm ambivalent about it at this point in my life but it's interesting academically. Probably because I'm non-binary and only interested in androgynous people. It's more academic now because the concept of dating someone I dislike has never once crossed my mind as something I'd be interested in. There's no debate there lol. Someone like Andrew Tate could say you know 'genderfluid people don't exist, I can't be friends with someone with a vagina.' And it's whatever now. That's how he thinks and those are his preferences but we're barely the same species lol. It's like listening to an alien and I'm sure he feels the same way when he talks about 'genderfluid/non-binary losers on twitter.' Like he says at the end of the video it's simple you're incompatible with someone that's that the end:



Likewise when reactionary feminists complain about their boyfriends not doing housework because they want to be masculine and play video games so 'we have to go back to trad roles.' I don't care. Being single is fine. I'm not doing anything that goes against my values/preferences ever again. I don't even care if that makes me a narcissist. I've dealt with an abusive girl growing up who had too much control in my life so I even understand why guys would want to avoid relationships.

There's very much a vibe from these people like: These are the gender rules, you have to play this game. Everyone has to play this game. No I don't care lol.

And you know that. You know people don't care 'they're so selfish' and that really pisses you off lol.

Actually it's kind of hilarious when you think about it. Like there are issues people are having in their personal relationships as basic as 'he won't clean up or do x, y, z because he's playing video games' and because they presumably can't just be single or can't find a guy who isn't like this it turns into this huge cultural movement and then everyone must play along and every woman should be a stay at home mum and 'listen to their grandma.'

Always the video games lol. 'Men don't have anything aggressive to be doing now.' Is how reactionary feminists frame it. Honestly because they're reactionary and so bring up war etc I lowkey get the vibe that it's like 'you prefer playing video games to doing the housework so why don't you just go fight in a war and die?' I know this sounds insane but that's kind of the vibe I get reading some things they've written. But a lot of guys like the idea of fighting in wars anyway so. You know:



But I guess the video game thing is an issue for a lot of women now in relationships I see it come up a lot in different places.

It's just. If I date someone. We're both going to be playing video games and nobody is going to be cleaning or cooking. With the average guy like that anyway. Because I hate doing both and what happens in most relationships is someone eventually hits a point where things are so messy that it bothers them and they have to clean. And my impression is that a lot of women crack first but if someone is dating me I won't crack. It's not good but I can pretty much put up with insane amounts of mess. In this scenario I'd be cleaning more because I need to use something so it needs washing up (in that case I'll just wash up what I need to use,) or because other people care and it's bothering them, if they don't present me with a standard or some system that we agree on I just wouldn't give a shit.

Break up with the guy, make him date me. I'll be his 'girlfriend' and he'll be so horrified by someone who is like me that he'll be like 'oh man I have to change' or at least he'll appreciate feminine women more. Because I do not perform either the male or female gender role lol. That won't actually happen I think. I just break up with guys historically not the other way around but yeah lol. Also I guess it's more complicated for them because these women are usually married, sometimes have kids. Imagine having kids. Surreal lol.

My second ex who I'm still friends with is a more functional and conscientious (it's one of those words I hate lol,) person than me in most ways (so he's sometimes criticised me for my laziness or other things but not in this area, other areas of life. Like when I got really drunk one time, and just my lack of motivation towards work/lack of focus.) First guy was prob like the kind of guys they rant about sort of. He was a gamer and lazy in some ways worse than me in others not. One time he forgot he had food in the oven (this was after we broke up but we lived together with some other guys.) And so he burnt some chicken nuggets so they were basically charcoal (you have to leave them a long time before they get to that state too,) and he let some potatoes sit in a cupboard until they started sprouting all over the cupboard. He still didn't get as messy as I have though at my worst. Another guy I lived with freaked out more about the oven incident than I did actually and then another guy I lived with (not either of those guys, there were so many guys. 5 guys in this house lol. Part of the reason we need more genders is so you don't have to invent fake names. Nobody has ever thought about this advantage. 'The genderfluid person, and the woman, and the man, and the bigender person, and the agender person' so much more convenient because I don't think people remember fake names or names of people they don't know/care about. I'm onto something here.) He was more feminine in some ways (that was the guy I saved from a spider one time had a crush on him never would have worked etc,) and more neat and seemed to like cooking, so he wasn't impressed by this side of him either lol. He was the first person to tell me that you're supposed to wash up glass stuff first. My parents never really taught me or my brother much about most things in life btw (I'm not really complaining but just a statement of fact.) While I was at uni my dad jokingly said to me 'I'm teaching your brother how to cook so we don't make the same mistake as with you' Lol thanks. Yeah. I don't think he really did though but he was doing something at that time I guess.

If you want someone to come up with a creative way to break Sims games, or kill Sims then I'm your guy.

Uh I was on twitter and this trans woman I think posted something about having a fantasy where she would just start talking about Sylvia Plath to some guy while he sits around playing video games. And she also kept talking about trans guys. And I was like my moment has come. Someone with insanely low standards. (Actually tbh this generally works better if you're a trans guy or gnc woman because there are people specifically into the novelty of 'oh it's an afab person and they're doing this male stereotype.' This would annoy a lot of binary trans guys but I don't really care in this context.) Also I feel like the idea was that guys don't generally care about eg: Sylvia Plath, but I have lots of female typical interests like that and I've looked into Sylvia Plath a bunch anyway. But yeah I'm not her type still since she likes trans guys who have transitioned of course, and also I guess butch afab people who haven't, and I think one time suggested she was sort of into Kristen Stewart and I don't think I have that vibe or body structure. Also I think she just said a lot of stuff to try and get attention from trans guys because she had an idealistic relationship type in mind of dating another trans person but trans guys don't hit on or approach women most of the time online like cis guys do (even with trans women,) and this was annoying for her. And that circle of twitter would often talk about how most trans guys are gay. But now I'm going into an entire essay.

I'm really just the worst of all possible worlds. To an almost comical degree. I will write a book. "The tragedy of bisexualish/asexualish-whatever my sexuality is" only joking imagine finishing a book.

I also can't listen to Louise Perry I get an allergic reaction. So I didn't watch the video I just started reading the comments haha. That's a problem too.

Edit: So I did start watching the video and she seems to be arguing that it's a choice between patronising 'chivalry' or being assaulted. Like she's happy for guys to hold the door open for her or hold her bags if it means not being assaulted. I don't see why these things are necessary though. Like she thinks that men will assault women if they're not allowed to hold their bags and open doors for them etc? Pretty sure the guys who do that are often sexual sadists or have poor impulse control etc.

She seems to think women are being told to go back to random guys houses and to take risks. This isn't really the message I got though or that I'm even getting now in left wing circles. There's constant talk about how women aren't safe walking around outside at night and are being raped. Even to the point about fear mongering more about female violence over male violence in situations where men are more likely to be attacked eg: by strangers while walking around at night.

I think most women are risk averse instinctively so if you give them the freedom to choose they won't do most things that put themselves at risk. If anything they are often too risk averse in a lot of situations. I think this is partly neurological, and partly a side effect of low testosterone levels. And everyone's testosterone levels are lower now which is also why we live in the most risk averse culture that's probably ever existed. Then you suggest we tell girls to be even more risk averse on top of that. Hmm.

She makes some really retarded points but it's not that she's retarded and that fact comes across very much in her smug body language. She just twists everything to try and get the end result she wants.

Yeah I can't stand any of these people honestly (if that wasn't obvious,) and I'm lower on the class ladder than any of the women doing this.

I've spoken about this a few times lol but obviously my mum as a young adult I think or maybe late teens, was with a group of younger girls and she assaulted a guy when he flashed them in an underpass. This in itself is very unusual statistically speaking. So I moved from one extreme reaction to another over the years about this anecdote (since as I said before hearing about this initially upset me though it's difficult to really say why fully as I sometimes don't understand emotional reactions I have. I think it's because my dad shared that info with me and it reminded me of things I disliked about my dad like how he'd get angry and talk about violently attacking people and groups who have annoyed him, and I was very anti-violence etc, though I also have this tendency to get very angry and sometimes have such thoughts,) I think part of the reason for that is that it's kind of a [BEEP] you to their ideology haha.

My dad has been beaten up by strangers before in my life time this happened once, and two of my brother's friends in high school were mugged. Obviously my mum had that experience in my town decades ago but she would walk back home from work all the time still does walk alone at night, but I suppose they'd argue 'well she's older now so not a target.' I've never had anything happen to me in public while walking around at night alone. A few times homeless people have come up to me asking for money in Derby that's it, doesn't happen here cause there's never been homeless people when walking back from the train station and other areas at night. There are some I've seen there during the day over the years but they obviously don't sleep there. Which is kind of weird because it's empty at night I dunno if there's some security that come round periodically possibly. I don't linger around there to know. Once I walked through London in the early hours of the morning while it was still dark alone.

Also 'text me when you get home' she brings that up as 'advice you give to girls' this isn't advice that helps in any practical way. It's merely to reassure you about your own anxiety and emotions over a genetic female person you care about being potentially at risk. Anxiety and emotions that you have because you value genetic female life over male. Something that's very obvious when you consider the greater risk that anyone who looks genetically male has while in public that just gets ignored. 'Oh well they can defend themselves though because guys are physically stronger.' Really? Why are so many men and teenage boys killed then?

If I hear a story about a woman being killed in the UK, I know it's going to be a woman being killed by her ex most of the time. Even in public it's still often somebody's fucking ex:

https://nypost.com/2023/09/28/eliann...ecting-friend/

Teen dies after being stabbed in neck 'protecting her friend' from lovelorn ex-boyfriend

If I hear a story about someone being stabbed to death in public in my town I assume it's going to be a teenage boy most of the time. It certainly was in the incident near where I live. And when the two teenage boys decided to have a fight with machetes in the shopping centre. And you know most cases. I don't think this is the worst town in the UK in terms of violence but it's got to be up there it has all the markers of a town that would have a high rate of violence.

My dad is like this. I mentioned that I went to a concert in London and he was like 'you didn't tell me' we don't live together and I told him last time I wouldn't tell him because he worries excessively before hand (I didn't tell him last time for this reason but my brother did so this time I didn't tell my brother and my brother was like 'yeah they didn't tell me either until the night before and I knew why.' Yes Sherlock lol.) It was insane last time he was looking up my journey and this and that. When I got a coach trip back he found some way to track the coach. He worries even more than my mum. And I know this is ungrateful and I should appreciate this because some people's parents don't care at all. This makes me feel guilty for feeling this way (so now I get to feel two negative emotions.) But it's very uncomfortable for me. I'm not a very functional person so I don't get many opportunities to feel in control and like a normal adult, and throughout my life I've been infantilised by many people for being small and 'cute.' I don't like this.

My mum sometimes asks me to text her when I get back or if I need anything which I entertain because she's not excessive about this, and doesn't express it in the same way, and also because she's female. I don't like it when men do this if that wasn't obvious (well I don't know if I'd dislike it if a feminine guy did it who I was dating. I feel like the fact that I'm OK with my mum doing it suggests there are other social dynamic reasons, but still my dad worries too much.) He's tried to reason with me before lol by pointing out his mum would do this with him, and that it's not a gender thing (which I didn't bring up myself, which is telling in itself that his mind went there because it probably is!) Because he worries about my brother but it's hard to prove because my brother doesn't often go out alone. But I don't think he does worry to the same extent when my brother eg travels alone sometimes to live with his friend now and then and helps him out. Also he didn't worry when I was living in Derby and going out all the time. I did all kinds of things he never knew about. Or he didn't tell me if he did worry. I think he was going through some stuff in life back then too.

And as someone with an anxiety disorder who isn't keen to give into the hysteria of my culture it's important to set some boundaries. That's what I'm saying it's like I'm already an anxious person. You're making [BEEP] worse for me.

You can look at the situations and environments where most violent crime happens. You can look at info about the perpetrators - all that info is out there for anyone who wants to look. But people decide for themselves what amount of risk they're willing to put up with.

Hm:

In 2008, records held by the US Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention and Office of Justice Programs indicated that arrests for violent crime in the US had decreased since the early 1990s in both children and adults.[160][161][162] This decrease occurred contemporaneously with increasing sales of violent video games and increases in graphically violent content in those games.[163][164]

Does it matter what you're wearing? Probably not most of the time because if he's not your boyfriend who has some issue with you it's your ex and he wants to kill you because he's your ex.

Oh I brought up Sylvia Plath before so this is funny (she was upper middle class obviously,) but she has some quotes that always remind me of this ideology:

Being born a woman is my awful tragedy. From the moment I was conceived I was doomed to sprout breasts and ovaries rather than penis and scrotum; to have my whole circle of action, thought and feeling rigidly circumscribed by my inescapable feminity. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars--to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording--all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...

I am afraid of getting older. I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day -- spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free... I want, I want to think, to be omniscient.

I said this before but I became interested in her because a few years ago I read part of one of her poems that I think someone posted on twitter or something, and I just kind of projected a sort of sapphic story onto it:

If the moon smiled, she would resemble you.
You leave the same impression
Of something beautiful, but annihilating.

From the poem 'The Rival.' It didn't really make sense for me to do that although I often have over the years more so with male rivals, and I didn't know much about her at the time except that she wrote a book about her life which I hadn't read (still haven't read the whole thing only certain quotes/sections,) and that she was mentally ill and committed suicide.

It was unusual at the time I think, for portraying sapphic characters:

As my vision cleared, I saw a shape rise from the bed. Then somebody gave a low giggle. The shape adjusted its hair, and two pale, pebble eyes regarded me through the gloom. DeeDee lay back on the pillows, bare-legged under her green wool dressing gown, and watched me with a little mocking smile. A cigarette glowed between the fingers of her right hand.

"I just wanted..." I said.

"I know," said DeeDee. "The music."

"Hello, Esther," Joan said then, and her cornhusk voice made me want to puke.

"Wait for me, Esther, I'll come play the bottom part with you."

Now Joan said stoutly, "I never really liked Buddy Willard. He thought he knew everything. He thought he knew everything about women..."

I looked at Joan. In spite of the creepy feeling, and in spite of my old, ingrained dislike, Joan fascinated me. It was like observing a Martian, or a particularly warty toad.
Her thoughts were not my thoughts, nor her feelings my feelings, but we were close enough so that her thoughts and feelings seemed a wry, black image of my own. Sometimes I wondered if I had made Joan up. Other times I wondered if she would continue to pop in at every crisis of my life to remind me of what I had been, and what I had been through, and carry on her own separate but similar crisis under my nose.

"I don't see what women see in other women," I'd told Doctor Nolan in my interview that noon. "What does a woman see in a woman that she can't see in a man?"

Doctor Nokn paused. Then she said, "Tenderness."

That shut me up.

"I like you," Joan was saying. "I like you better than Buddy."

And as she stretched out on my bed with a silly smile, I remembered a minor scandal at our college dormitory when a fat, matronly-breasted senior, homely as a grandmother and a pious Religion major, and a tall, gawky freshman with a history of being deserted at an early hour in all sorts of ingenious ways by her blind dates, started seeing too much of each other. They were always together, and once somebody had come upon them embracing, the story went, in the fat girl's room.

"But what were they doing?" I had asked. Whenever I thought about men and men, and women and women, I could never really imagine what they would be actually doing.

"Oh," the spy had said, "Milly was sitting on the chair and Theodora was lying on the bed, and Milly was stroking Theodora's hair."

I was disappointed. I had thought I would have some revelation of specific evil. I wondered if all women did with other women was lie and hug.

Of course, the famous woman poet at my college lived with another woman -- a stumpy old Classical scholar with a cropped Dutch cut. And when I had told the poet I might well get married and have a pack of children someday, she stared at me in horror.

"But what about your career?" she had cried.

My head ached. Why did I attract these weird old women? There was the famous poet, and Philomena Guinea, and Jay Cee, and the Christian Scientist lady and lord knows who, and they all wanted to adopt me in some way, and, for the price of their care and influence, have me resemble them.

"I like you."

"That's tough, Joan," I said, picking up my book. "Because I don't like you. You make me puke, if you want to know."

And I walked out of the room, leaving Joan lying, lumpy as an old horse, across my bed.

I don't think she was sapphic probably or there's no clear evidence so it doesn't matter (I know people like to speculate on this a lot,) but I thought it was weird how her rival Assia Wevill killed herself in the exact same way she did after her death and also tried to turn into her.

That's also part of why I'm intrigued by Grimes yeah. But in her case it was also more things she said about gender and not wanting to be infantilised (she said that years ago dunno if she still feels that way,) which I related to. She seems like a complicated figure because she has that history and says these things but at the same time seems to argue conservative talking points as well or pander to that. She doesn't like porn but she likes watching hentai with blue haired women hm. Things like that.

I'm still loling hard at 'reactionary feminism' btw. Oh you took an ideology I disliked (feminism,) and merged it with an ideology I hate? (reactionism.) Wow. Amazing.

It's not the most annoying combination imaginable at all.

Also as an aside (not an aside more like a major fucking issue I have with this entire circle of conservative commentator.) I don't see how things like pro sports are better than gaming if you put aside the physical health benefits. And you can exercise and play games in that case (or exercise and do anything.)

Joe Rogan is in trouble with the gaming community. In last week's episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, one of the most popular podcasts in the world, Rogan drew a comparison between taking up jiu-jitsu as a hobby and taking up gaming. Speaking as an accomplished martial artist and MMA commentator, he suggested that while jiu-jitsu might offer a person physical fitness, excitement, confidence, and new career opportunities, gaming offers nothing but a dead-end:

This is stupid because people make careers off of video games now.

It?s no secret that self-described ?gamers? are disproportionately young and male. And looking down the list of last year?s most popular games, it?s striking to see how many provide a vivid simulation of hyper-masculinity, allowing the player to pretend to be a soldier, gunslinger, warrior, gangster, or heavily armed survivor in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. All fantasy scenarios that provide violence, peril, and (apparently) immense satisfaction for the young male brain.

And to bring up Grimes I very much share her viewpoint actually:



"Is it necessary?'

People can present however they want and if they like having muscles and being really big that's fine - and obviously that in itself I know is a form of competition that most men take part in like women using makeup - that's fine but I don't think this is superior which you're all trying to argue. I don't think it's necessary. And when you take part in pro sports that's a form of competition that you do for fun and/or money but it's not necessary. And if someone instead wants to compete in a video game for fun and/or money there is no difference besides again the physical benefits of getting exercise. It's a form of entertainment.

Andrew Tate put his brother down for playing video games and Andrew himself was a professional boxer, and that didn't stop Tristan Tate from tagging along with his brother and afaik not being known for doing anything himself - he's famous because he worked with his brother not really as an individual in his own right. And it also didn't stop Andrew from creating a camwork business where they both tricked numerous women into sleeping with them by lying and pretending they wanted a relationship when they didn't, and Andrew allegedly raped multiple women and they were both engaged in Human trafficking.

But that's the thing right they can't stand the idea of guys not doing anything. She made that clear in one interview lol with Jordan Peterson. Where she was very clearly worried about men having sex robots and then just not feeling motivated to do things. Because men have to work for the sake of it. And that's why they need women as well because if women don't do what they say and play a certain role that is appealing to men + act as cheerleaders than a lot of men won't work any more than they have to, to stay alive.

Feminists often make the mistake of dismissing this problem, suggesting that we should simply reject masculinity in all its forms, both positive and negative, and offer nothing in its place. But in his comments last week, Rogan offered up one solution, and a far more realistic one, in the form of martial arts -- a fake (that is, ritualised) form of violence, but not a fake form of fitness, since the discipline, progress, and sense of purpose offered by this kind of physical challenge is absolutely real.

I don't think it's that much of a problem. You're telling me it's a problem. Unless it's bothering the men in that situation it's not a problem. And if it is I don't think taking part in pro sports is necessarily going to help (it's replacing one existentially pointless pass time with another. If it does help it's only because it's viewed as being higher status.) Also the problem with this advice is the kind of stereotypical guy who might be into video games wouldn't necessarily be able to compete at that instead. Maybe in fact they are genetically unlikely to succeed in sports and so instead play fucking video games. Maybe they're really small and don't build muscles easily, and can't compete with other guys and they realised that in school - like most kids do when they're forced to do PE and they just want to play a video game-Lol actually. There's a part of a documentary where Steven Wilson is walking around his old school and he points out at one point how boys in his school tended to either be into sports or music yes I have. I have actually found a way to talk about Steven Wilson in this post. Yes. It's sometime in the first 10 minutes:

The Insurgentes documentary / road-movie Lasse Hoile made in 2008-9 about the recording of my first solo album has now been remastered and can be viewed here. It?s a snapshot of where I was at that time in my life - having recently turned 40, this period was about taking some new creative paths, and both my solo career and work remixing classic albums began around this time. We had a lot of fun doing the film but it was not the happiest time for me in my personal life (which definitely comes across), plus not everyone got what we thought was surreal and funny. So I think it created an impression of me as a rather dour and over-serious individual that for some people is - understandably perhaps - still their overriding impression of me! Still I'm proud of what we did, and I believe it remains quite unique in the pantheon of music documentaries.

This is what happens when you had a crush on someone who later comes out as non-binary who never liked you back. You don't realise it at the time, mostly because you weren't hung up on them for a long time and got over that crush quickly and then they were kind of a dick later on, but it still sets in motion a series of events that culminate in this post. Actually that wasn't the catalyst we have to go much further back. Don't find computers cool as a kid, start playing video games, and then around the age of 10 watch a demo disc about game developers with long hair and decide to try and fail to be a game developer. Clearly my problems would be fixed if I became a bodybuilder. "No you were supposed to be a stay at home mum!" There was no reality where that was ever going to happen lol. I've had social anxiety and was a weirdo from day 1.

Anyway I think video games have replaced music. As this guy says (critically because he's sad that people aren't making music now):



And then Andrew Tate and 'reactionary feminists' and Joe Rogan and Sneako call them losers and soy boys etc. Even though Sneako doesn't look that masculine and has a history that involves modelling and various other things that aren't masculine and seems the opposite of masculine because he's incredibly insecure about his masculinity. That kid is lost lol but anyway.

Maybe if you keep harassing the short guy that doesn't build muscles easily and just wants to play a video game and they can't compete at physical sports and it makes their self esteem even worse. And now they can't play video games because you told them that was bad. Now they feel even more shit. Maybe they'll kill themselves. Did you consider that possibility?

Instead of trying to make money from playing video games. Which nobody tells you is an option they try to discourage you but you can make money from video games either playing competitively, or just making content about the games you play, or modding games - you can get money off creating mods. There's a lot of things you can do with video games. Not that money should be the fucking be all and end all of your fucking hobbies - this culture is so fucking sick. But if you're not doing anything and you're unemployed and want to dig yourself out of that hole and it's the only thing you can do than that is an option you can try.

Also I think 'positive masculinity' would be things like creating music and art and solving scientific problems or other problems. Obviously creating art and music could also be seen as a feminine thing or an androgynous thing - creativity is arguably an androgynous activity because the people who engage in that behaviour are on average more androgynous it seems from research but not always. There's also masculine people who do and an association with masculinity and creativity as well. And STEM fields are very masculine obviously. Not everyone can do that or wants to but it's an option that's there.

So again it's not that there aren't lots of things that guys could do. They could learn to play an instrument instead of playing a video game too - it's that they prefer to spend their time - or at least their free time - playing video games. I don't see the problem with that. You think it's a problem because it's not attractive to women and because you think they should be doing something you find more productive to society or that they should be pursuing relationships instead of playing video games.

So that we can reproduce this madness where we tell girls that they exist to reproduce future generations and shame them when they don't, and men have to work all the time and never have fun. Unless that fun involves building muscles. Wow that sounds great.

Anyway. If we're playing the 'let's manipulate men into being attractive game.' People keep reblogging this post. Everytime I go back to that website:



And I'm very biased haha.

The "crisis in masculinity" seems to be more a fantasy of feminists than a reality. It actually reveals more about the worldview of a certain kind of feminist than reflecting a "crisis" among young men, especially in light of the research which shows that young women are the ones currently suffering from anxiety and depression more than their male counterparts, mental problems that seem to be growing in parallel with men abandoning their traditional gender roles, eschewing marriage in favour of video games.

Yeah and there's a part of me that still thinks it's a huge insult to the concept of feminism to call them feminists + these women call themselves reactionary feminists anyway which seems like an oxymoron to me. But I never really identified as one in the first place.

Also the neuroticism is just what happens when estrogen imo. But you can have a research paper saying anything you want. There's even one that suggests white women (specifically white women weirdly) are less happy with children.

What they want to happen is for women to act as cheerleaders for masculinity and they don't really do that unless you're a famous musician. I don't make the rules. You don't even have to be male you can be Taylor Swift. Apparently. That's why guys hate her so much haha. No but it's so funny:



When guys do this. It's not that big a deal it's just Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is to them what reactionary feminism is to me. I don't have a problem with people who want to live traditional lifestyles either especially women it's cute whatever. But just like:



Really.

Also that Peter Griffin clip in that guy's video where the girl is talking excitedly about her doll. I've seen that meme before but never watched the whole clip before. It's so sad though. I feel bad for girls who like girly stuff. Cause that is how society treats people with feminine interests. Then when they're adults they get shamed for not being feminine by these same kind of guys and they're just like "it doesn't compute. They were only supposed to be feminine in a way that specifically appeals to me~" OK. Oh well I guess the same thing probably happens with masculine people.

Him: "Our culture is so sick that instead of focussing on the cruel and unrelenting nature of war, we are for some reason talking about Taylor Swift's boyfriend."

That's sad too.

God I hope this is my last rant about this topic lol. I have like 4 topics I just rant about but this one really bugs me. (Actually this post became about a couple of different things because
I kept editing it.)

I have to go out too later I think. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. But I don't want to.

Edit: The case against the case against the sexual revolution.

Some desires are bad

Our culture is loathe to call any sexual desire "bad." All desires are to be accommodated and accepted and even celebrated (as long as there is legitimate consent). But Perry uses a gruesome example to present a counterpoint: say that a man purchased a whole, skinned chicken from the grocery store, used it for sexual gratification, then cooked it and ate it. Wouldn?t 99% of us find that utterly repugnant? There is no consent involved, nor no person harmed, but if there is any semblance of conscience and decency within us, we are going to say, "ewwww."

This is just amazing. It's almost a perfect illustration of how our worldviews differ because that situation doesn't bother me at all and honestly it doesn't even really disgust me personally. I don't really care.

Ethically speaking I think Humans shouldn't kill animals unless they have to, and there are environmental arguments against the meat industry as it is now too. But in a world where they often do kill and eat animals - most people do or have done at some point in their life I still do consume animal products. I don't think doing something sexual with the dead chicken is that bad.

You could make a case that it might be a problem from a disease perspective. Which is reasonable I think that's the only decent argument against that behaviour I think personally in a world with animal consumption. I'm not really digging the weird double standard here basically.

So I know veganism is common among educated people so I had to investigate and...

I'm a middle-class millennial and intermittent vegan, yet I find Extinction Rebellion insufferable

Oph. Intermittent Louise? I'm not impressed. That's quite the serial killer behaviour.

Perry cites a famous slogan used during the May 1968 protests in Paris: "It is forbidden to forbid." But pedophilia and child pornography reveal the moral depravity of such a slogan. Perry describes demeaning and degrading acts committed against women in porn (such as choking and spitting) that have become popularized due to porn. We can objectively say that degrading someone or putting their life in danger is reprehensible, even if one or both parties get excited by it.

Not a reasonable comparison at all if you have a moral system that prioritises Humans over chickens. And very few Humans do prioritise chickens over Humans or view them the same way instinctively. You have to rationalise why you shouldn't kill animals which is why veganism is somewhat related to intelligence afaik, you also need decent impulse control and probably other traits correlate too. And also if you care about harm. The already dead chicken isn't really going to give a [BEEP] it's already fucking dead. I could be wrong but I don't think the chicken's family is going to care either.

The issue with choking as I see it is that it puts you at risk of dying. As for degrading stuff that's very subjective. I don't think we should be enforcing ideas universally of what is or isn't degrading - nor can you really you're just shaming people for not thinking like you. I'm not going to stop sexualising male feminisation~ and I know people won't stop finding that degrading.

Here's her point: If some desires are bad and harmful, then some form of sexual repression is essential (as opposed to unhealthy). "The radical desires of sexual liberals do not work in a world in which human sexuality is not always beautiful but often wicked and repulsive."

It's OK to just sit there and feel disgusted sometimes and just sit with your disgust without trying to argue that it should be objective and universal truth that it's bad because you feel... Bad about being disgusted? What's the motivation there? It must be something like that.

Like I'm... I wouldn't say disgusted (not very anyway it's not like the emotion I get when looking at mold growing on food. Ew. That bothers me more than chicken necrophilia man - there's a band name idea there somewhere,) but I don't like raceplay. It touches too close to political issues that annoy me personally and I'm not keen on how it fits into the stereotype of certain men online I guess like they're being cucked by black guys and they have all this insecurity about black men. And even though I like feminisation I'm also not keen on the whole dynamic (which overlaps with race play) of like 'and now you've been feminised no women want to have sex with you and your wife is going to leave you.' It's gratuitous nonsense from my pov. It's not my cup of tea but obviously many people are into it - many of those people into raceplay are right wing in fact potentially:



Potentially.

(Though they're probably more into it as doms statistically.)

And that's fine. You do you.



Maybe I should listen to them though I don't know. Are the authoritarian right telling me they can't control themselves? Like are you telling on yourselves is that what's happening with this whole ideology? Or is it just your supposed sexual interest in 24/7 power dynamics?

I just don't know. I'm a huge asshole for doing this. All of the most demonised and in some cases illegal fetishes were in their quadrant in that study and I think there are many predatory people who larp as being left wing or who are actually left wing but if you're gonna do this then I'll stop when they do.

Perry's conclusion: "We should treat our sexual partners with dignity. We should not regard other people as merely body parts to be enjoyed. We should aspire to love and mutuality in all of our sexual relationships?We should prioritize virtue over desire. We should not assume that any given feeling we discover in our hearts (or our loins) ought to be acted upon?Some degree of sexual repression is good and necessary. The world would be a better place if such men were more ashamed of their desires and acted on that shame by mastering themselves."

Also women are more into BDSM statistically.

[Nyctophilia]

Perry's conclusion: "We should treat our sexual partners with dignity. We should not regard other people as merely body parts to be enjoyed. We should aspire to love and mutuality in all of our sexual relationships?We should prioritize virtue over desire. We should not assume that any given feeling we discover in our hearts (or our loins) ought to be acted upon?Some degree of sexual repression is good and necessary. The world would be a better place if such men were more ashamed of their desires and acted on that shame by mastering themselves."

Also women are more into BDSM statistically.

Perry also points out that "You can do terrible and lasting harm to a 'consenting adult' who is begging you for more." This is why, for believers, two consenting adults aren't enough. We can consent to degrading harmful things. We need a consenting God to ensure that what we're doing is healthy (Perry doesn't make this connection; I do).

The pill and legalized abortion made extra-marital sex much less risky and much more popular. In addition, divorce became much easier and lost its stigma, but it has also created a host of unexpected problems. Perry cites many who regret their divorces years later (I'm sure these women weren't in abusive or adulterous relationships), and who tell her they wouldn't have gotten a divorce if it hadn't lost its stigma.

Honestly what the [BEEP] does that mean? And also can women like own their [BEEP] already? They also mention women who created porn and were fine with that or even enjoyed it, but then later regretted it for some reason (sometimes something to do with converting to Christianity lol,) yes the porn will exist forever when it's out there. You should obviously think about that before doing it. This is getting really cringe and old. If you regret a decision you made it's not other people's responsibility to shame and police everyone just so you don't make a decision you might regret. Hell you might regret the decision you were shamed into making anyway and then complain about that instead!

She seems to be modelling herself as a sort of Jordon Peterson for women, in that she gives clear rules for women to live by. those are:

Wait a few months before sleeping with a man

Depending on what you mean by sleeping with I never bothered. I think it was probably a few months in my first relationship before I did anything sexual. I don't remember or care how many at this point.

Don't sleep with a man if you think he wouldn't make a good father (even if you have no intention of settling down with him)

Again as I said. But this is a weird requirement for casual sex.

Don't get drunk or high in the presence of men, even men you know (yeah I know, yikes)

I did this and don't regret it lol.

😎

I mean the week long hangover/possible alcohol poisoning probably wasn't the best outcome/plan but still don't regret it.

"Never trust any men ever. Also get married and build loving and intimate relationships where you have to trust men."

The maths aint mathing Louise. As usual.

Don't consume or make porn

Being a dominatrix is probably pretty fun tbh but I don't have the self confidence for that.

My girlsona is a dominatrix.

Get married

I probably won't.

I consider myself a left wing feminist, but I still agreed with a lot of it. I also disagreed with a lot of it. My biggest gripe with the book is that for a book titled "a case against the sexual revolution" she has basically nothing to say to men, or to the LGBT community. It's entirely about straight women.

Good I think it might kill her or something. Though I've seen some quotes floating around that address men.

No I am not a TERF myself. I also don't feel we can or should throw out an unrelated book on this basis.

FWIW, I don't think it's entirely unrelated. Perry clearly centers women's identities around reproduction, motherhood, and "traditional" morals and she proselytizes, so I see a big overlap between that and her TERFdom.

It also seems to me that her rules basically boil down to "passively live your life afraid of becoming pregnant or being abused by men", which does not seem healthy. I think that her arguments will appeal to people with high fear and need for security/safety who do not feel confident in asserting themselves. And I agree with [someone's username] -- that there are relatable things (which probably appeal to the feeling of being unsafe) is typical of entry-level content from extremism pipelines.

Louise Perry is apparently not just a TERF, but apparently also a FDS ("Female Dating Strategy") fan. Make of that what you will. I personally really doubt that someone who aligns with toxic communities is able to write a book free of that toxicity.

No it isn't a coincidence many academic terfs were ex Christians or even nuns who just recreated their puritan Christian beliefs as 'radical feminism.

I read it. My takeaway was that she uses "I'm a feminist" as a cover for thoughts, beliefs, and opinions that are actually anti-feminist.

There are reasons conservatives like and recommend this book.

Her views are conservative and reactionary but there are parts of feminism that echo conservative ideology tbh.

"I see trad people, walking around like regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're trad."

she has basically nothing to say . . . to the LGBT community

That's not a bug, that's a feature. Both sides of this argument rely on the same fundamental assumption, which is that women's existence is defined by their relation to men. Whether you encourage women to embrace their status as sexual prizes for men or encourage women to resist it through some arcane checklist of do's and don'ts, you're squarely rooted in a heteronormative, patriarchal viewpoint either way.

Personally I think if she ever had to face the reality of statistics about bisexual women she'd actually have an aneurysm so she can never do that. More on that in a moment lol.

Perry agrees: "The mainstreaming of BDSM has, firstly, served to protect the interests of men who want to beat up women and avoid being punished for it, and secondly, it has made a lot of money for the porn industry and for manufacturers of tacky leatherette clothing. In other words, BDSM is good for abusive men and good for capital."

Specifically women have often been found to be more masochistic than men. Which I imagine is a problem for her. They also fantasise about being dominated more than men fantasise about dominating:

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full...9.2019.1665619

Men (59.6% ) reported fantasizing about dominating someone significantly more than women (46.7% ).
Women (64.6% ) reported fantasizing about being dominated significantly more than men (53.5% ).

https://link.springer.com/article/10...08-021-01917-w

I love that this is one of the few mainstream studies I've stumbled on that has bothered to separate non-binary people (although it says trans and non-binary which is more vague and it's also a small sample size, but it's a start.)

Of the 1795 undergraduate students sampled, 13% reported often engaging in rough sex, of which 42% were men and 53% women. Another 37% sometimes engaged in rough sex, of which 40% were men and 53% women. When asked how much they liked rough sex, 33% of the men and 43% of the women responded "very much" (57% of the trans and non-binary), and 51% of men and 42% of women responded "somewhat" (36% of trans and non-binary).

Surprisingly, women seem to be more fond of rough sex than men. However, men tend to initiate rough sex more often (57% ) than women (38% ) -- 48% for trans and non-binary.

Bisexual women reported greater rough sex frequency and enjoyment (54.1% indicated enjoying it "very much"). Implications for sexuality research and education are discussed.

When stratifying by sexual identity within gender groups, frequency of rough sex was found to be highest among bisexually identified individuals (28.9% of bisexual men and 20.2% of bisexual women engaging in rough sex "often"), though these results were not statistically significant among men possibly due to smaller sample sizes of gay and bisexual men (Table 4). More heterosexual men reported initiating rough sex (58.6% ) while more gay and bisexual men reported that their partner initiated the rough sex (69.5% gay men; 68.9% bisexual men). Among women, only 35.5% of heterosexual women reported initiating rough sex, while 43.6% of lesbian women and 51.6% of bisexual women reported initiating rough sex with their partner.

Interesting. That's actually closer to the rate that straight men initiate compared to straight women. More evidence that sexuality is often more useful than sex differences when it comes to this kind of thing.

No statistically significant differences were observed with respect to how much respondents who had engaged in rough sex liked it between sexual identity groups among men, while among women, over 90% of bisexual women with rough sex experience indicated that they liked it very much or somewhat.

Yeah I mean I think they find similar things with sociosexual orientation men don't tend to differ much between sexuality groups but bisexual women are notably different there too.

We were struck that our participants most often identified choking as rough sex considering that most students in Burch and Salmon (2019) did not endorse choking as rough sex, nor did the student participants in Ryan and Mohr (2005) offer choking as an example of playful force or aggression in relation to sex. Choking was also not included in the operationalization of rough sex by Vogels and O?Sullivan (2019), though it has been included in other studies examining connections between pornography use and sexual behaviors (e.g., Bridges, Sun, Ezzell, & Johnson, 2016; Herbenick et al., 2020; Sun, Wright, & Steffen, 2017; Wright et al., 2015, 2016

Participants' meanings of rough sex appeared to be multidimensional; Cluster 1 mostly included behaviors that prior researchers (e.g., Vogels & O?Sullivan, 2019) and the students in the Burch and Salmon (2019) study considered rough sex?that is, hair pulling, being pinned down, hard thrusting, spanking, throwing someone onto a bed, and tearing clothes off. Behaviors in Cluster 2 included some behaviors common to prior definitions of rough sex (e.g., biting, being tied up, scratching) but also included behaviors that may be considered sexual assault (i.e., making someone have sex), that have commonly been described by adolescents and adults as scary (e.g., choking, being pinned down, punching, slapping) (Herbenick et al., 2019), that have been described by other researchers as "more violent" (Burch & Salmon, 2019), and/or that appear to be increasingly part of sexual assault allegations (e.g., Moore & Kahn, 2019). We included "making someone have sex" in the series of rough sex items even though we considered it a description of force and assault; yet prior research had included such items, and we wanted to see how our student participants conceptualized it. Although it was the behavior that the fewest respondents selected as an example of rough sex, it was still selected by 17.4% of our sample (N = 830)

Given students' diverse meanings of rough sex, our findings have important implications for college health professionals and sex therapists, who can support people in learning how to communicate about their specific sexual likes and dislikes to minimize ambiguity.

It looks like they did ask them for specifics about gender and sexuality so not sure why they lumped them together in that summary I was reading:

Participants were asked, "What is your gender and/or sex?" (man, woman, transgender woman, transgender man, gender non-binary/non-conforming, prefer to describe). They were also asked their sexual identity (heterosexual or straight, gay or lesbian, bisexual, asexual, something else); relationship status, partner gender (same as own gender, above), among other demographic variables (see Table 1). Additional demographic variables included student classification (race/ethnicity and international student status) and year in school. Students who selected American Indian (n = 6) or Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander (n = 2) as their student classification were merged with those who reported two or more races to form an "other" group due to small sample sizes.

stereotypical patterns for initiation only held true for heterosexual men and women and lesbians:

Consistent with traditional gender ideas about initiating any kind of sex, the men in our study more often reported that they initiated rough sex while women more often reported partner initiation. A closer examination by sexual identity shows that these patterns only hold for lesbians, heterosexual women, and heterosexual men. Gay and bisexual men more often described that their partner initiated rough sex. Bisexual women and TGNB participants were more evenly balanced in terms of indicating they or their partner initiated rough sex. Our findings with heterosexual women and men are consistent with heteronormative sexual scripts that position men as sexual initiators. Our findings for TGNB individuals and sexual minoritized individuals perhaps reflect greater experience challenging traditional gender norms and creating sexual lives on their own terms, though subsequent research focused on such populations and their sexual pleasure and creativity would provide greater insight

lol 'creativity.' I guess you could call it that.

We also found that TGNB participants reported more frequent engagement in rough sex and greater liking of rough sex, although most people of all genders surveyed reported liking rough sex ?somewhat? or "very much" and very few (< 2% ) reporting not liking it at all. Heterosexual women generally reported liking rough sex, but less so than others. That said, we specifically asked these questions of people who engage in rough sex with their current partner(s) rather than all participants with lifetime experience of rough sex, some of whom may have stopped if they didn?t like it or lost opportunities to engage in rough sex if their partner does not like rough sex. If we had asked these same questions of all people who had ever experienced rough sex, we would have likely had more people report that they didn?t like rough sex, or only liked it a little. Similarly, we did not ask people without rough sex experience how much they believe they would like it,

In this random sample of undergraduate students at a U.S. university, we found that participants? conceptualizations of rough sex were multidimensional, with one cluster more reflective of past operationalizations of rough sex and a second cluster that included some behaviors that other studies have described as scary, violent, or as assault. Further, we found that most participants in our sample had engaged
in what they described as rough sex but that men generally identified fewer of the behaviors we assessed as rough sex. Of those individuals who had engaged in rough sex with their current partner(s), most liked it somewhat or very much, though heterosexual women less often reported liking it.

Progressive gender segregation??

Seeing more and more support for women only gyms, women only parking spaces, girl only schools, even women only workplaces. I'm also seeing more women lauding the conduct of men who basically avoid interacting with women in public they don't know.

Are we coming full circle on the topic of gender segregation? Will religious people get the last laugh? A lot women exacerbated by sexual assault and discrimination seem to be arriving at similar conclusions and even finding common cause with religious conservatives.

I'm engaging in non-binary gender segregation by rarely leaving the house.

[Nyctophilia]

1. misgendering here is unnecessarily cruel
2. Idk how to say this without everyone getting mad but a) trans sexuality is very distinct, vore is a disproportionately trans interest and b) interest in misogynistic fetishes is more of a female thing, really quite womanly of her

Hunter Schafer, trans star in the new Hunger Games movie, said the following in [her] journal which [she] posted on Instagram:

"My gender was so influenced by a need to be used by men"

"My sexual orientation was not gay, it was not straight, it was an attraction, is an attraction, always to misogyny."

"Not feeling femme enough w/o being a victim of r*pe"

"The idea of being eaten used to arouse me" he goes on to say men eat women, and both men and women fetishize rape.

He has since deleted this ig post.

I saw that before ages ago. It was very controversial.

This kind of thing annoys me too (not specifically her post but the general mentality,) but mostly because it just makes me annoyed that I'm not a masculine cis guy (but not really it's like some kind of non existent archetype, and honestly I think very inspired by porn. Am I going to post this video again? I guess I am lol...)



I think about it multiple times a week apparently.

Actually their notes don't address the most annoying part for me of the mentality I'm talking about but it's the idea of womanhood and femininity requiring male validation to be real etc. There's something existentially annoying about it too. I have this issue every time I encounter people with this sexuality. Actually it's mostly trans women specifically or transfemme people where it bothers me. There are many cis guys where I probably wouldn't care. Unless I was attracted to them I guess. Not that I'm attracted to most trans women. I've come across cis women like this too (that's where the term comphet comes from I guess? Or some parts of that.) But I guess I think they're more of a minority and/or I don't care.

I'm not saying this is a reasonable reaction, I just have a bunch of weird emotional reactions to things. It's really weird. My brain does a lot of things that I just don't understand. Probably undiagnosed autism as I've said before. I don't think most people have such difficulty figuring out why they have certain emotional reactions etc or what those emotions are.. I don't think they're that disconnected from them either. Maybe it's sort of alexithymia too? I dunno.

Part of this also came from talking to someone on discord who had these views and she was in a long term relationship with an afab non-binary person but constantly misgendered them and it was just all fucking annoying honestly. We were all mentally ill in that server and/or had autism.

Many years ago when I was in my mid 20s I wrote down a story concept where an alien came to Earth and was in a Human body (there was a reason for this but I forget and cba digging up the notes,) and had to understand the Human emotions they were feeling etc. I guess it's sort of like Resident Alien except my story concept wasn't comedic like that. But, I think that's kind of how I feel sometimes. And then also Humans are often aliens. Sometimes I feel more Human though.

Anyway I think Contrapoints has sort of touched on this in some videos though. (Not the alien thing lol the 'comp het' needing men to validate femaleness/femininity thing.)

I've seen other women on here post similar-ish things -- the general theory seems to be that some of us read male desire/passion as more "authentic" (and in porn, it usually is), in addition to the comphet of it all (wanting male validation, etc). There's some part of me that can never fully "believe" female desire in the same way, because in my head women are less likely to lose control in the way that men do and less likely to think with their proverbial (or literal) dicks. The idea of a man being sort of mindlessly turned on is hot to me; it's hot to imagine a woman that way, too, but it's a lot more difficult to picture -- even if I'm watching real/amateur lesbian porn, it's hard not to feel like some parts are fake or staged.

I think that's common. I found another way around this which is pretty much just being into mindcontrol fetish fiction (though I'm not really reading that much atm.) That way with both men and women they can pretty much just be into anything in that scenario. All of the stuff I read with women involved them being essentially made to really enjoy sex more than anything else (there was a bunch of other kinks etc but that was an underlying theme with a lot of it.) Just getting distracted by reddit posts now lol.... I wanted to find an example of the 'comphet thing' to post but got bored/decided it didn't matter.

Another thing is just femdom stuff I guess.

Also interesting that there's supposedly some correlation with vore and trans people dunno if she just means trans women or trans people in general. I'm not into vore at all.

I often wanna be like yes, trans people tend to be aroused by different things than cis people, and what the [BEEP] is wrong with that? This shouldn't be something you bring up as a gotcha; if anything it's very strong evidence against social contagion theory

Can you post some examples though? I know a bunch from prior research with trans guys (like mostly being into feminine guys if they're not into women, but these days that's just the 'female gaze' lol) but I imagine they'll differ from what she found in her surveys.

Ice-cold take- this is probably the exact psychological adaptation you would expect if men had been mistreating women throughout history

Women end up kinda liking it
How else are they to cope? It's not like they've been able to fight back

People have got to stop posting this take lol (no this isn't anywhere near the first time I've heard this.) It's like a form of conversion therapy to turn people off men honestly lol. Not even that... Depending on my mood it triggers some kind of violent reaction lol.

maybe the age of consent should be lower for boys than for girls

i have extremely bad news regarding how this would play out in practice

i guess even more explicitly this sort of experience very probably has a different expected effect on boys when the adult is female vs when the adult is male

ok, let's lower the age of consent when the older partner is a milf

Maybe we don't make laws based on straight mens projected desires?

What if you limit it to straight relationships only.

If feel like gay men would still be very 😡

Life is full of contradicting values

Straight men are cancelled because of the last 5 minutes of twitter. You get a 24 hour time out.

The premise posted by Aella was based on the results of this poll she posted:

What's your gender? || If you press the button, you get to magically change your past in the following way: You're 15 years old, you meet an attractive 30-year-old of your preferred gender, who finds you attractive and has really good sex with you. Would you press that button?

64.5% man | yes
22.6% man | no
3.4% woman | yes
9.4% woman | no

I find the concept difficult to imagine. This is like a universe where I can enjoy sex? Then obviously I would prefer to have enjoyable sex than to be whatever the [BEEP] is going on with my sexuality now sure. I almost feel like if you take this literally then the answer is obviously yes because part of the question is really good sex. Not 'awkward sex that you develop some kind of psychological complex over.' Though that seems likely to happen in many cases.

I was writing porn about 30+ year old men in bands anyway when I was 13+ but the idea of having sex wasn't something I considered at all. None of my sexual fantasies back then involved me and most of the porn I read/wrote was gay male too back then so not something that could be recreated irl.

Told ya, the responses would vary based on gender🙃

Wow! That result surprised me !!
Still 2 days to go... But is the psychology of underage relations so seriously gender skewed????

It's not how a lot of them would have acted if they went back in time honestly and if you replace attractive with 'famous musician/actor they found hot at the time' but they're going to answer based on what they think is sensible as an adult + social desirability bias.

Nowadays teenagers would say no to that too because it's a very different culture. From around the 60s to the 2000s many teenage girls had sex with famous male musicians or tried to (some underage teenagers,) and then from the 2010s onwards lots of stories about this came out and people had a very different attitude about it.

Also - this isn't quite the same thing because the age gap is smaller - but when I was 16 during the summer before I started sixth form I was into this guy who was about 20/21 and a university student. We hung out with in this club that was in a pub/bar place where people played card games + miniature wargames and my friend started dating him for a couple of weeks but then she broke up with him. She'd moved to a different town at that point anyway. That was also seen as socially inappropriate by adults at the time eg: my dad when he heard that he was a uni student despite being legal. But teenagers weren't necessarily listening to their parents back then. I dunno if her own parents cared and/or if they encouraged her to break up with him. She didn't seem upset about it (he seemed more bothered than she was actually,) and tbh she dated a lot of guys back then. During secondary school from the age of 11-16 I think at least 7 I'm aware of (not including the awkward cinema guy incident.) One of those guys came out as gay and he also went to that card game place haha (but they dated many years before then.)

This question is sick. However, no 30yo woman would have sex with a 15yo boy. Whereas 30yo men have sex with 15yo girls all of the time.

There's an unfortunate number of female school teachers doing exactly this tbh and there's a double standard about it.

damn women are stupid. truth is women are:

1) lying and already did/doing this in reality

2) salty because they couldn't keep mature lover

3) not doing this because feminism stigma wants mature attractive men for old hags

4) keeping sex expensive for mature men

voila

A lot of teen girls did this or similar, probably not doing it now though based on what I see online. I think it's a different culture. Also it's weird to be insulting older (cis) women's sexual appeal and a trans woman honestly...

Nevermind her entire profile is just tweets about how the age of consent is transphobic and things like that. Just another day on twitter.

As a 15 year old 30 year olds looked ancient and decrepit

twinkdeath is so much more brutal than the wall, wow

😂

Some guys are most attractive in their 30s but they are famous, don't cut their hair, and have vampire aging and crop tops. Some combination of these. + other things I won't say. Cause I'm removing 10% of the objectification. But only 10% lol.

An open marriage couple once told me.

There are 2 people with high body counts.

"Epic conquest" and "impossible standard"

He then said his wife was on an epic conquest lol.

I said I have the impossible standard.

The heart breaker cuts you off first, on a conquest for something.

The impossible standard is never quite satisfied with their partner.

Both are at risk of high body counts, especially with the concept of replace, not repair being universal in our culture.

I don't think these are entirely mutually exclusive. I also could see that with high standards if you're not lazy. I'm lazy and too dysfunctional to date + social anxiety. So I gave up after 2. Otherwise I might have just continued to have a bunch of no doubt failed relationships. There's definitely some alternate reality where I did that.

Lol reminds me of the weird 23 year old woman who was looking for a sperm donor essentially but then was just going to be celibate after that and wasn't looking for a husband (or a dad for her kids I guess,) "I see where this is going I'm skipping to the end." LOL. Oh man.

[Doseone]

@Nyctophilia
DEBATE ME!



I guess I should post my spotify wrapped here as I'm not active on any other social media. I'm a long time last.fm user, so I already knew all of this. Although, spotify omitted The Beatles for some reason. They were my number 2 most listened.

2023wrapped_summary-share.jpeg

Why is it so big? I don't care enough to resize. lol.

Bubblegrunge, eh? I definitely need to find more artists from that genre. Night School is the only band that comes to mind. Maybe Great Grandpa. Also, I was top 1% for time listened.

I also started physical therapy today (Which I should have been doing years ago; I've just been dealing with back pain like an idiot. lol). If therapy doesn't work, I guess I'm going to have to try injections or radiofrequency ablation. I'm sick of back pain. Sometimes when I'm sitting down for a long time I can't get up because the nerve is being pinched. I have to maneuver my way up.

[Nyctophilia]

Alex playing with Tool? I'm so jealous I should move to Toronto

#not me thinking about moving to canada to increase my chances of seeing one of them lol
#maybe some conference or research trip will take me there 😅
#the instrumental from a passage to bangkok? *envious sigh*
#great to see that he's performing though!!
#i would've fckin died if i was there tbf
#dustnroses.txt
#rush band
#prog rock

That is pretty cool but... Wait are TOOL on tour? Interesting.

Uh I hate how huge the venues they play are though because they're so famous. They're all arena gigs. I managed to see A Perfect Circle at a medium sized venue because for some reason they're less famous I guess? They were good live too. I've wanted to see TOOL for ages though and missed them last time due to covid and also wanting a smaller venue but let's face it that's not going to happen.

And omfg the sections closest to the stage are like 400+ pound tickets. Also like the cheapest ones are still 100 pounds~



I was so close to the stage for A Perfect Circle and they were like reasonably priced tickets from what I remember. How is there such a gap lol? They have many overlapping band members.



Um can you do what Steven Wilson does with Porcupine Tree and play TOOL songs at A Perfect Circle concerts?



Just like play Schism and Lateralus maybe?





and Vicarious:



Mostly just cause it pops into my head when thinking about society all the time haha.

No?

They have multiple concerts in the UK so might go to a different concert.

*goes to TOOL gig* *realises they're really great* *gets depressed concert is over like with Porcupine Tree* *buys ticket for another date that is ridiculously expensive and second hand*

It won't happen cause money but I know something like this will happen lol.

[Doseone]

Why did God care about the animals during The Flood, but has let plenty of animals go extinct? I also remember reading something about how penguins would have had to walk/swim from Antarctica. lol. Why couldn't God just teleport these animals?

[Nyctophilia]

Getting her box blown out BBC style this is ALOT of white women id almost argue 80% of white women have dated a black guy at some point and time

I really doubt that many have. I really do stumble on these kind of comments a lot. So I got curious and started googling different things to try and find studies on racial territorialism etc - was curious if anyone had started to research this topic given the mass obsession online over the past decade, but just ended up reading a bunch more posts I stumbled on on various subreddits lol... I guess mostly by Americans. It's like the most lost people imaginable.

They have absolutely no idea what women want especially white women.

I was almost a red pill once but the blatant racism and sexist nature of the group drove me away.

Some examples of the racism: because I a black man do well with women they'd call me a Tyron, or they just say "women just wanna try black cock". Etc. It totally disregards the fact that I just know how to talk to women.

When they see an attractive white woman with a black man they say "there goes a future single mother"

Why are they so insecure if the red pill is supposed to elevate their game?

The hyper-masculinization of black men has done a ton for their community. Why is there not a single Asian man on Love Island, please answer this?

It really hasn't honestly. Any black guy who doesn't fit the hypermasculine stereotype is now at a disadvantage and since the hypermasculine stereotype doesn't appeal to most women dating site statistics show, predictably, that aside from black women black men get the least responses.

So some guys on one subreddit were talking about using porn to try and change the stereotype of Asian guys as being 'sexless' etc lol:

But it's a powerful social engineering tool. It's pumped out in mass and offered for free for a reason. And the masses definitely watch a ton of porn and have their world views influenced by it. Do you guys understand just how vulnerable the brain is to reshaping based on experiences, ideas, images etc. associated with orgasm? Extremely effective way to leverage neuro plasticity.

We'd be idiotic not to push AMXF porn. And for such media, we ought to cherry pick the most well endowed, attractive AM possible to star in them.

This mentality is dumb too really since a lot of porn - and certainly the kind they're all talking about - doesn't appeal to most women it appeals to men because it's designed for men (some guy tried to point this out and got massively downvoted lol.) It's even more dumb if you're looking for a serious relationship since the vast majority of women do not base their relationship preferences on hardcore porn (also they watch a lot of lesbian porn when they do watch porn, even when they identify as straight.) So in this case Asian film and music industries (dramas, kpop, other media etc,) are much more effective than this weird porn idea would ever be. Also YouTube.

The porn thing at best will give white guys another inferiority complex to obsess over for no reason like a bunch of them do with black guys lol, while changing nothing materially for Asian guys.

edit: Also straight guys will write stuff like this while trying to promote their appeal to women but it's just so gay.

I'd rather see Asian dudes embrace what makes them unique instead of copying that obnoxious "gym bro gigachat behavior" that a lot of white guys emulate.

Yup most people don't even want white guys to do that.

Something i've noticed is that Black People (especially men) spit out truth when it comes to gender relations while most White People dress everything up in pretty little lies.

You notice this in music too. You got Chris Brown with "These hoes ain't loyal", Kanye with "Golddigger", Wash with "Can't trust thots", and the whole genre of [gangsta] rap. Meanwhile white dudes are only writing sappy love songs begging for attention or talking in very blue pill ways.

That's because white girls are so used to being coddled they can't stand anything else.

That's how you attract most women yeah. I actually prefer white male gaze music to gangsta rap though:



'Rape the limbless cadavers'

But I have a weird sense of humour.

I don't listen to Cannibal Corpse unironically though lol. Prefer melodeath, gothic metal, folk metal, nu metal, alternative metal, depressive suicidal black metal and Arch Enemy. (Just giving them their own category lol.)





Metal bands make pretty good rock music too sometimes.



'White dudes are only writing sappy love songs'

That's very funny.





I actually think most prog rock music is about topics unrelated to romance and sex. There's also tons of political music floating around.

I can't go down this route though I'll end up posting way too many music videos lol.

I'm pretty sure a lot of white girls love Kanye.

They love cancelling him these days lol.

You can tell how threatened a man is by another man's sexual prowess by how he reacts to a woman of his tribe dating him. White, Hispanic and Arabic men get super butt hurt when their women date black men, that's why there is so much venom for women with mixed race children around these parts. Asian men interestedly get the most upset at their women dating white men hence r/hapas.

Well if they're going to get upset in the first place (which is pretty cringe,) it'd probably make more sense to focus on the next group they're most likely to date and marry etc after their own race. Which would be white guys for Asian women.

Some white guys on the other hand, especially in the US, have adopted a more fascinating approach. Ignore that white women rarely marry men of other races in the first place (and I think white people are like the least likely group to do that,) ignore that 51% of interracial marriages in the US that include white women are with Hispanic men. Fixate on black men ???

Yup.

You missed one thing: Black men have benefited from hip hop culture/media GREATLY when it comes to women. Imagine if an Indian guy came up to a girl and said this like a black guy would:

"Hey girl, I don't wanna be disrespectful or nothin', but I jus wanna say that behind is POPPIN' in them jeans! Damn girl! U sweatin' a [BEEP] up in here. : ) : )"

I don't know how it's possible to be this confused. How are they posting these things unironically lol?

Are most women not sexually attracted to their partners?

Women say all the time that most men are unattractive and ugly, mostly on reddit, youtube, twitter etc. Redpillers also claim women are sexually attracted to the top 20% of men (A lot of people claim that it means top 20% of men are dating 80% of women but that's simply not true, and I'm sure very few men claim the same), a lot of studies on dating apps states the same, some even claim it's 95-5. So it seems that a lot of women agree with redpillers on this one. A lot of women also claim women are more beautiful than men on average.

Possibly, I don't date now. I don't think physical attraction was the problem for me though, or even attraction in general, it's just easier to be attracted to people from a distance + I became less attracted to people in general over the years. My most intense crush was just on a guy from an anxiety site and he was physically attractive (my attraction was actually solely based on that to start with,) but probably not top 20% of men, but it's not like I view things in those terms to be able to say.

Then you could say that irl there are plenty of average or below average men in relationships. And that's where my confusion comes in. Why? If women clearly think that these dudes are unattractive then why be in a relationship with them? Yes his personality might be okay or even great, might be funny, charming etc but is he sexually attractive to her? The common answers I see are that he makes her laugh, he makes her feel safe, yes I'm not denying that, but isn't that settling? Will he ever turn her on like an attractive man would? I live in a country where arranged marriage is the norm so I have no doubt that there aren't any sexual attraction between most of the married couples I see (despite being one of the most densely populated country in the world lol). But what about the west? Arranged marriage is definitely not the norm there so how does it make sense?

I guess they probably are sexually attracted to them because when I realised it wasn't working with my ex's I broke up with them after several months. But there were so many complicating factors that weren't just tied to sexual attraction.

The overwhelming amount of evidence suggests that women aren't attracted to the average looking men. "Well women's sexuality is different and they value personality more", well if you talk with attractive men you'd know that women can be unhinged when they are attracted to someone. Women go crazy over kpop dudes, they go bonkers for someone like Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddlestone, Henry Cavil. They even go crazy for attractive criminals, serial killers etc. So they clearly are attracted to looks and appearance, most of them anyway.

Yeah but what women find physically attractive varies a bit more and the women who are attracted to serial killers are often hybristophiles, so they're not just turned on by looks they have a paraphilia. Plus you could argue with most of these guys that there are other factors besides physical appearance.

No they're not and unfortunately most men don't even realize it. That's probably 80% of marriages since the beginning of time. That's why marriage rate is sharply down and will continue. Women make their own money, healthy social networks, and can [BEEP] good looking men whenever. No reason for them to lock down with someone they only love as a friend or brother.

Well there's one of two hypothesis that make sense to me:

1. Women actually weren't involved in mate selection to the degree that people think and so now that they have freedom of choice they don't find most men attractive because they didn't select them. In which case men historically kind of fucked themselves but it will fix itself in a few generations if mostly attractive people reproduce.

2. There's something you're supposed to be doing but aren't (I think it's playing music,) and most women don't know what it is (it really seems to be music though,) because knowing is evolutionarily destructive. (Are women birds?) And that makes sense because predators pretend to be attractive people so you don't want to give men advice they're 'supposed to know.' And/or knowing is part of the test.

I think this is why you can't generally share tips:



Throughout this video where he pretends to be quirky and awkward he just blatantly lists off a bunch of stuff he's read that women find attractive. And he tried this with a bunch of different women. I might be remembering wrong and it might have been some other guy but possibly this was the person who slapped someone who actually did meet up with him as some kind of test to see how well they tolerate abuse....

The ol' Dennis Reynolds strat

It is a lot like him actually lol yeah.

It's not that "weird" when you realise that it is all calculated, the guy pobably has a list called [Things women like in men] and he tries to fit all of it in as talking points to make himself seem "perfect", but since the guy is not real in the way that he is describing, most people can tell that he is waaaaay off.

I fear for the day that he gets someone on the hook that can't tell the difference tho, if it hasn't already happened.

Absolutely and if I'm remembering correctly he did but thankfully his next step didn't work. The worst part is I don't know if he's faking the neurodivergent ADHD/autism self monologue or if he just happens to have one of those disorders too. Like it's weird to think even that is part of his act because he saw it in her bio......

As someone with ADHD, I can recognize his "stream of consciousness". That's exactly what he's doing. I also go on tangents with branches of loosely-related ideas, and mist people with ADHD do. Granted most of us have FAR more self-awareness and get carried away in a conversation of interest with someone we know, not a hostage. At the end he even says "I got the impression you're a fellow NEURODIVERGENT person", thus admitting he identifies as ADHD/Aspergers. That's weird in itself because "neurodivergence" is not something you'd expect to be dropped in a first-time, unsolicited conversation, and could likely insult the other people by implying they probably are too from a bio!

**Self-awareness of my lengthy tangent, but felt it was relevant**

It is quite convincing yes but considering everything else is scripted and bs that probably was too.

it's strange cause his voice actually sounds pretty fluent and confident, but the stuff he's saying.. it's like he is just saying everything that goes through his mind, and not just thinking it

Yeah it's quite unusual for the content of what he's saying and made me more suspicious tbh.

I was just going to comment that his voice... ACTUALLY sounds sort of attractive? But yeah this entire thing is just... God, creepy-

I'm sure he knows that and that's why he sent a bunch of audio files.

Also at one point he says he hates cats but loves dogs but he's way too weird to not like cats. So he failed the test.

I think female attraction is multifaceted so and previously people thought there was no visual aspect but now they know there is. Looks is not enough for women to be have sex or want a relationship with a man.

Uh it was for me but I'm non-binary.

I'd be curious to see this study, not that It would change my mind.

You can bring a woman to orgasm (pretty easily) by just physically stimulating her down there (trying not to be vulgar) while you talk dirty to her in her ear, and her eyes are closed.

Good luck ever bringing a dude to orgasm while his eyes are closed with a hand job just by dirty talking to him. He will want to open his eyes loom at the girl and ideally have intercourse.

To say women and men are equally visual with regards to sexual attraction is incorrect and dumb.

Well I don't think his eyes were closed most of the time but I was usually fully clothed and giving him handjobs. I even managed to get him to have an orgasm while talking about him having sex with the abomination from WoW. Which I'm realising if I never have another relationship will actually be my favourite sexual memory. Well I don't think he came while I was talking about that (or I don't remember,) but he stayed hard. Impressive honestly.

I should have done stuff like that more. This is why I like masochists haha.

*on my deathbed*

'I should have tortured more men.'

2edgy5me.

[Nyctophilia]

The thing I'm describing by 'good sex' might be different than what others mean. But here, it means something like 'losing yourself in the experience'. When I look back on sexual experiences I consider great, they all have the commonality of me sort of becoming the sex, if that makes sense? Like I'm no longer Aella's brain, doing thinky things, I am Aella's body, doing orgasmy things. I've lost the plot, I don't remember what the plot was, I'm just sexcreature emitting a constant stream of noises.

And so in a sense I'm describing a guide to get a woman (vaguely similar to me) to become a sex body.

Unfortunately this is not a guide for men themselves to become sex bodies in the same way, I'm sorry. This is a pretty heteronormative guide, and it centers on vaguely active-male, receptive-female styles of interaction, where the advice for both sides is not symmetric. If you're a subby guy really looking for a lady to take control and like it, this probably won't be the guide for you.

Yeah but actually I'd be interested in reading that guide because I'm curious but also looking for potential ideas of how to turn myself on + also since I'm turned on by male masochism + submissiveness but I have the completely wrong personality type for that sexuality (or any sexuality really, there's lots of shame and repression etc,) but I also have no self confidence. So even if I'm not thinking of myself as evil and/or being disgusted it seems impossible. My thought process is almost always counterintuitive.

And also all these posts are paywalled damn.

[Nyctophilia]

I'm looking at this chart with a bunch of fetishes people have rated in terms of how taboo they felt they were to society + how many people were into them (I'm guessing this is just straight people but I don't know, and some stuff is illegal,) and people have actually rated brother-brother incest as more taboo than mother-son which is really weird to me. They've also rated brother-brother incest as very taboo so there's a lot of taboo stuff that they've rated as less taboo than it. I'm guessing most people assume society is very homophobic but I would have thought anything with parent-child would be more taboo than siblings. Not to mention two guys can't reproduce.

Why do people think being eagerly begged is more taboo than spanking and light bondage? Also why is being eagerly begged more taboo than being sexually worshiped?

There's a lot of confusing stuff here lol.

They have gender ratio of people into the fetishes too so despite the stereotypes about white women it turns out men are more into horses lol. Women are into dragons a little more though.

Also brother-brother incest is preferred by women. So is father-son. I read a story like that as a teenager but I was more into the idea of this boy moving next door to the creepy twins who were creepy twins than the incest. I'm not really into incest stuff in porn (that also wasn't something I used to get off lol just like you know a romantic story about the creepy twins. I feel like they were emo too or my brain remembers them that way. It was the 2000s and whichever edgelord teen girl probably wrote that story probably wrote them to be emo-adj at least.)

Sister-sister and mother-sister incest which are both seen as much less taboo (or people think other people they are less taboo) are preferred by men. I feel like that's not fair and this is just saying male homosexuality is more taboo than female basically. I mean that's assuming people's perception are correct and whatever lol. Although mother-son incest is a bit more taboo than sister-sister and mother-daughter so it's also a thing about guys even then though these are all sort of close to each other and brother-brother and father-son is way off near more severe things lol. Well it's all subjective I guess.

Women are slightly more into pegging than men (which goes against things I've heard from men but doesn't really surprise me either,) slightly more into women with penises which I wouldn't have thought (actually it's basically neutral? uh 1-1.5 times more popular with women, it's hard to tell the subtle colour shades lol,) but at the same time doesn't really surprise me (I feel like people talk about men being into women with dicks more though and that they're more vocal about it,) women are more into most gender related stuff listed here (like androgyny and women without breasts, men with vaginas, I guess women are just more into trans people in this survey,) but men prefer gender transformation and sissification. Crossdressing is a very neutral one apparently and hermaphrodites whatever that means oh both sets of genitals? Yeah I'm into people with both in my imagination anyway.

I can't see either corruption or mind control as usual and those are two of my biggest ones. Are they really that unusual that she never thinks to include them in her surveys lol? There's so much stuff here. I don't see sexuality conversion there either which was a big one for me but I guess I'm not as into it atm I dunno. Most of my kinks are always related to corruption and transformation in one form or another but mostly as an adult it's gender and/or sexuality related.

Oh glasses is there though that's slightly male which is kinda surprising. I guess I'd just assume that one would be completely neutral or maybe slightly female I dunno.

I just subscribed to this channel (literally while writing this post lol,) because I saw they were wearing glasses:





They don't look like this in most of their videos and also haven't uploaded many videos lately. Tragic.

Also their original music is very good:



Back to the incredibly weird post.

Women are very into guns sexually. Rapeplay recieving is very female and rapeplay giving is very male.

I feel like the really taboo kinks listed are split 50/50 in terms of female and male preferred. The animal ones are actually mostly male preferred. The white woman thing was projection all along! No I don't know. Women are more into octopi and tentacles. Also a bunch are neutral.

Sex with your own dead body is an overwhelmingly female kink apparently. But I'm guessing there was probably like 1-5 people into that or something lol. It's just a big more taboo than brother-brother incest. Somehow.

Wait is that people having sex with your dead body or you having sex with your own dead body? Initially I imagined it as like myself having sex with my dead body which I'd prefer not to do (and also how but a lot of these are impossible so never mind lol,) along with having sex with dead bodies in general. I guess I don't mind too much if someone has sex with my dead body though as I said the other day that's pretty edgy. I don't think I'm into the idea of it in itself so much as the idea of exhibitionistically freaking people out and with minimal effort which is always a plus for me. I'm also very voyeuristic probably in relation to that. I also kind of like the idea of people with certain weird kinks. Hmm. I have mixed feelings about that one though. But I like it a bit I think. I'm going to say that's not sexual or borderline though because it's not like turning me on properly.

I'm surprised burning is such a female one. In what context? I think my brother is into sex in burning places or something like that (vaguely remember that coming up once.) We're a very normal family. Actually we very rarely talk about sex, kinks etc and only on a few occasions in the last decade.

I also like the idea of setting myself on fire to freak people out, but only if I didn't feel pain + could regenerate. Basically I just want to freak people out and also that's not sexual in this case. Doesn't do it for me.

I would be interested in seeing non-binary results but also not since I think generally she found in some surveys they were closer to female kinks? But my own are kind of mixed and I'm more interested in learning about unique sexual interests that don't fall into male or female. Like are there any very non-binary kinks.