Nervous again!!

[Chantellabella]

I know this is my job, but whenever I have to run a big program like I have to do today, I get so anxious. I had one hour sleep. I have an interview, and a day long program that involves not only over 100 teens, but the entire community. Why am I in such a public job?

Things that go through my head:

I won't remember everything I need to do.
I'll sound stupid.
Something will go wrong
Nobody will show up
I'll fail
Did I set everything up right or did I forget something?
What if people hate it?
I have so much other stuff to do and I'm not remembering to get it done
Will people be bored?
This isn't going to work

Why can't I have the confidence I used to have?
Yes, I used to get nervous, but not like this.
Before I didn't even think about it............I just did it with no feelings.

Or maybe I did have feelings, but I stuffed them inside.

I just know that putting on these monthly programs is getting harder and harder to do.

Does anybody do this? Tell themselves horrible things before doing something? Is anybody else afraid of being a failure?

[cmed]

Does anybody do this? Tell themselves horrible things before doing something? Is anybody else afraid of being a failure?

Yeah, definitely. I seem to have a bad habit of anticipating the worst possible outcome, even with simple things like saying "hi" to someone. I don't think I'd be able to coordinate such a public event like that, my mind would be in overdrive. Hope it goes well.

[Ironman]

I am going through a stressful time right now, and it is a situation that everyone would react the same to. (Mortgage stuff!)
Just today, I talked to a neighbor. I closed the conversation with "see you in a little bit" - remind you, I am stressed so my anxiety is at a 7-8 today. I then started worrying about "did they think I cussed?" Our thoughts just mound up on each other.

We have to watch this. It's a spiral.

[Chantellabella]

Yeah, sometimes I think I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to negative self talk.

I survived today.

I do feel I accomplished one thing though.

Usually after the big event, I will spend the rest of the day berating myself for everything I did wrong. This time, I tried to enjoy myself during the event and told myself that it went ok. I need to do baby steps in giving myself a break. I'm trying. I'm still not all the way there, but I'm trying to not be so hard on myself.

Sorry Ironman and cmed that you've been stressed out too. It's not fun, is it?