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  1. #4696
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    They have got to stop doing this. You can't just take some random internet slang from say 4chan and then decide 'this is a far right thing'

    Oh my God:





    No it's really exhausting though. They pretty much just decided about a decade ago that the entirety of nerd culture, weird male online spaces, and gamers etc were evil and have been gradually building up this narrative ever since.

    The actual far right aren't typically going around calling each other 'fren' or other cutesy [BEEP] and there's plenty of them on twitter now if you'd like to take a look. In case you were wondering you are well past the age of optics over there:



    Will there be at least a single word that isn't converted to 'far-right use' by the media by 2050 ? Hard to say
    No they are working on making everything Marxist, fascist or woke now. You can't say anything or enjoy anything or even exist in a neutral sense lol.

    At this point co-opting aesthetics/interests/language etc so they can't do this, has pretty much become a radical act.

    Musk's recent posts have included several references to alt-right themes and fascism, experts told Insider. In a recent post, he shared a meme including Pepe the frog and a caption featuring the word "fren" — an apparent misspelling of the word "friend" — a backronym for "far right ethno nationalist."
    Imagine writing about this and crap about Elon Musk (who I don't even like btw but this is still retarded,) while ignoring the systemic attempt to remove entire groups of people from public life:


    Montana's new law banning drag reading events at public libraries has led to the cancellation of a Native American transgender speaker in a southwestern Montana city on Friday.

    The Butte-Silver Bow Public Library canceled its “First Friday” speaker, Adria Jawort, at the recommendation of county attorneys, library director Stef Johnson said in a statement on the library's website.

    On Monday, Jawort posted online that she was going to do an LGBTQ and two-spirit history lecture at a library on Friday. "Two-spirit" is a Native American term for people with both male and female spirits.
    Jawort described herself as somewhat of a fashionista who dresses professionally for events, but certainly not in drag.

    When the bill was debated in the Montana Legislature in February, transgender Rep. Zooey Zephyr, a Democrat, said the legislation would target transgender people.

    House Majority Leader Sue Vinton, a Republican, stood up and said, “Mr. Chair, this bill has nothing to do with the transgender community.”

    Jawort also spoke against the legislation.

    "The irony is I testified against this bill saying it would target trans people that would include, of course, me," Jawort posted on social media Thursday. "They denied it. Now here I am, targeted."
    “One of my best defenses against bigotry ... is just educating the public and doing these speeches about the history of two-spirit people,” who have long been recognized by Native American tribes, Jawort said.

    Butte-Silver Bow Chief Executive J.P. Gallagher issued a proclamation Thursday marking the beginning of Pride month and encouraged residents to support the visibility, dignity and equality of all people, including LGBTQ+ residents.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  2. #4697
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    https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/06/...exual-assault/

    Elliot Page has opened up about a horrific experience with a famous actor who threatened to "f**k" him to convince him he wasn't gay.

    The trans icon and Umbrella Academy star who uses he/him and they/them pronouns revealed the disgusting encounter in a chapter aptly titled aptly titled "Famous A*****e at Party" from their new memoir, Pageboy.

    In it, Page recalled a harrowing encounter with an unnamed actor at a birthday party in Los Angeles in 2014 just a couple months after the Inception actor came out as part of the LGBTQ+ community ? before he came out as trans in 2020.

    Page said that the actor, who they considered an "acquaintance", approached them at the party before lobbing homophobic hate and threatened to sexually assault the [BEEP] star.

    "You aren't gay. That doesn't exist. You are just afraid of men," Page recalled the actor saying. "I'm going to f**k you to make you realise you aren't gay."

    When Page saw the actor at the gym a few days later, the unidentified celebrity tried to backtrack on his bigoted statements and threats by saying: "I don't have a problem with gay people, I swear."

    "I think you might," Page responded.

    Elliot Page said he's had "some version of that happen many times throughout [his] life" and that many [BEEP] and trans people "deal with it incessantly", People reported.
    I think men like this are actually gay and projecting. They just need some guy to come along and [BEEP] them.

    My knee jerk reaction would be something like 'sure I'll [BEEP] you in the [BEEP]' 'what you said I needed to [BEEP] a guy now you're backtracking?' 😏

    It wouldn't work though. I don't want to [BEEP] ugly guys. It's effective because these guys always have a complex about masculinity and would never bottom in a million years, but also cheapens the act.

    "You're just afraid of men. I'm going to rape you." - Author Unknown.

    Elliot Page also explained that he'd purposely not shared the actor's name, noting that several people at the 2014 party saw and heard what happened that night. He added: "But he will hear about this and know it's him."
    Edit: Lol it sounds like the title of a post rock song something like this:



    There's a certain subset of retarded guys who do this kind of thing often. And sometimes with any belief they disagree with not just sexuality. Here's one on video telling shoeonhead that maybe he can change her political views by fucking her:

    https://youtu.be/yN7E4xN2IVo?t=1348

    Sneako obviously talking to a feminist woman:

    https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ReXkTB_Xw5U

    I think it often comes from instinctively feeling like they are worthless evolutionarily speaking because they don't have a female reproductive system. So the idea of someone not being into the idea of reproducing with men becomes a threat to their own sense of self worth. Just read the creepy Daily Stormer article also about Elliot Page (they're all very normal about him specifically yeah):

    Our race could survive if 95% of our men were wiped out. It couldn't survive if 95% of our women were wiped out. There is a reason that when a ship is sinking, women board the rafts first: it's because they have much, much greater reproductive value than a man. So it should be of a very major concern that the Jewish media and education system are attempting to make as many young girls as possible into transgenders.
    Not saying this random celebrity guy is a member of the far right btw lol I just think a lot of this stuff comes from a similar place though. The far right are just often more honest about their insecurities/sexual insecurities for whatever reason. Like feeling insecure about black guys and so on.

    This is why I always tell you that women must be married off young, against their will if necessary.
    It's quite inexplicable that the one thing that Page was famous for was playing a pregnant teenager, and now [he's] taking up a role to try to ensure that teenage girls can never get pregnant.
    You know what other film he's well known for? It's a lot more fun.



    Female Transgenderism: A Plot to Exterminate the White Race by Neutralizing Our Breeding Vessels
    Delightful.

    But the lack of a female reproductive system is not why they're worthless to me. They're worthless to me because they're not Adonis.



    'Thrice fairer than myself,' thus she began,
    'The field's chief flower, sweet above compare,
    Stain to all nymphs, more lovely than a man,
    More white and red than doves or roses are;
    Nature that made thee, with herself at strife,
    Saith that the world hath ending with thy life.
    - Venus and Adonis, Shakespeare.

    I maintain that this masculinity finally manifests itself in the form of the boar, (1) which, by killing Adonis, signifies the danger that female sexual desire poses to men. There is, then, a clear disparity between Venus's nurturing qualities as lover and mother and her destructive capabilities as desiring woman. Moreover, Shakespeare's recourse to a boar to depict this final aspect of Venus's character intimates the unrepresentability of female sexuality and thus stresses its incongruousness with 'femininity.'
    Why do I need you if I can just fantasise about him?



    Their entire self esteem hinges on whether or not genetic females find them attractive especially bizarrely groups of genetic females that aren't so inclined to have penis-in-vagina sex with most/any males (lesbian women, asexual women, trans men etc,) and evidently if you don't want to, they're worthless. So I'm just agreeing with their self evaluation really.

    "I'll manifest the worst archetype of hegemonic masculine rapist, and threaten you with conversion therapy, and then you'll want to have sex with me."

    No. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to grow out your hair, lose weight, change your skeletal structure (if necessary,) go on hrt so you look more youthful (if necessary,) start playing music to the point where you're reasonably good at it, voice train to get a cute voice, start reading a lot of books so you give off a kind of intellectual vibe, get some glasses, take a bunch of aesthetic photos etc for me, and then after all that I'm still going to reject you because I can never get that image of you as this hegemonic masculine rapist out of my head.



    (note how he's been decapitated. We'll come back to this eventually.)

    And then as you sit there feeling lost, having destroyed everything about yourself in an attempt to make yourself desirable to me, you'll wish I was a lesbian.

    You can rape me but you'll never be desirable.



    Edit: Some of these guys say some really goofy [BEEP] at times like 'feminists/sjws etc want to get raped. That's why they reject men/make it harder for men to get sex.' If I'm remembering correctly, I think someone making that argument referenced Andrea Dworkin at one point.

    No retard you're projecting your desire to rape. Go to prison/chemically castrate yourself if you can't handle the sex drive.

    I don't think she was a lesbian, though she identified as one, she ended up marrying a man who identified as gay after her previous abusive relationship.

    I felt like she might have written something that might fit in this post (haven't read Intercourse) so skimmed through it. So eventually I saw she was talking about feminine men but really just homosexual men.

    Men are not supposed to have to endure being the victims of this lust; perhaps there is an implicit recognition that the subordination itself, the carnal experience of it, would change them, their so-called nature--create in them the incompleteness, the low self-esteem, so commonplace in women under male dominance.
    This (above quote) is about homosexual desire but I sort of feel like it works for how female desire directed at men has been viewed too lol historically. I think it's often wishful thinking/projection though.

    Many men don't seem to have any inherent sense of self worth. Leading to a kind of delusional compensatory confidence some of the time 'I'm going to [BEEP] you' and suicide in many other cases.



    The song was inspired by McLachlan's reaction to two deranged fans, both of whom had concocted a fantasy in which they were already in a relationship with her.[2] Of the two, the more famous is Uwe Vandrei, an Ottawa, Ontario native who sued McLachlan in 1994, alleging that his love letters to her had been the basis of "Possession". Vandrei had written and sent McLachlan love poems, although there is no direct connection between those poems and the lyrics of "Possession." Vandrei's lawsuit never came to trial as he died by suicide in the autumn of 1994.[3]
    In an interview with Rolling Stone three years later, McLachlan said, "And this one person wasn't the only guy ... there were a lot of letters from other people saying the same kind of thing ... Writing the song 'Possession' was very therapeutic."[4] She also stated that, since the release of "Possession," she had stopped getting stalker-type fan letters, for which she was grateful.[4]
    If one ignores the idea that Sarah wrote this song from the perspective of a stalker..

    .. the song is even more beautiful. I prefer to believe that this song is an obsession song BY a female. You rarely hear those! And it's such a beautiful song. Placing all that trust and faith and hope in one person, so much that "my body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive."

    Life is so bitter. But you're that lamp in the dark that leads me.
    Lol.



    Yeah, you're not rid of me
    Yeah, you're not rid of me
    I'll make you lick my injuries
    I'm gonna twist your head off, see
    'Til you say don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
    (Lick my legs, I'm on fire)
    (Lick my legs, of desire)
    (Lick my legs, I'm on fire)
    (Lick my legs, of desire)


    Quote Afterword to Monsieur Venus
    The fin-de-siecle Nineteenth Century woman is weighed down by this heavy sense of guilt and sexual negativity, a position now filled by the homosexual man in the Twentieth Century. Parallels are startlingly obvious. Through the woman's sexuality comes death. Salome in Huysmans' A Rebours is 'a true harlot, obedient to her passionate and cruel female temperament'. Her beauty is terrifying and inescapable, to indulge in the pleasures she offers invites death and suffering. Rachilde's girl 'creature' in the 'Grape-Gatherers' entwines herself around the boy in a 'serpentine fashion' certain to cause his doom.
    Yes, it is the irony of prison life that it is a world where everything is homosexual and yet nowhere is the condition of being a feminine male more despised. It is because one is used, one is a woman without the power to be female, one is fucked without a womb...
    Proust too described the "feminine male" as one who craved masculinity in other men but was despised by them because of his femininity. In his "Cities of the Plain" in Remembrance of Things Past, Proust said that those who committed the crime of Sodom were men who were women inside; because they were women inside, they wanted, sought, needed, the male member. Ironically (see Mailer above), they are unable to get what they want because they want real men, masculine men, men with the right nature--the so-called deviant himself has an orthodox religious view of that nature, expressed in sexual desire. But any such real man despises the femininity that makes the feminine male want him. Because they cannot have the masculine men they want, the feminine men are forced to buy male prostitutes to enact the sex and the virility they want. They are lonely and in despair; they are

    lovers who are almost precluded from the possibility of that love the hope of which gives them the strength to endure so many risks and so much loneliness, since they are enamoured of precisely the type of man who has nothing feminine about him, who is not an invert and consequently cannot love them in return;...11
    The "irony" is tragic for Proust. The feminine men are that of beings... whose ideal is manly precisely because their temperament is feminine, and who in ordinary life resemble other men in appearance only;..." 12 For Mailer, the dispossession of the men who want men is another occasion on which to extol the joys of impregnating women:

    For whatever else is in the act, lust, cruelty, the desire to dominate, or whole delights of desire, the result can be no more than a transaction-- pleasurable, even all-encompassing, but a transaction-- when no hint remains o f the awe that a life in these circumstances can be conceived. 1
    Proust sounds like Quentin Crisp a bit, except the feminine men and 'feminine men' are always the ones working as prostitutes (Crisp too.) Because ultimately some cishet men do seek out feminine men and trans women for casual sex. Mailer (whoever that is,) hasn't yet discovered mpreg. The direction I have taken this post in. It was necessary.



    Well you must understand that with everything I say. That I am speaking first of all for myself and as a group. I am a minority of a minority. I'm an effeminate homosexual and for people like me the dream, the hope, the ambition. Is to win and to keep the love of a real man and of course the essence of a real man is that he does not fall in love with people of his own sex. Therefore it's insolvable, it's unanswerable. This doesn't stop homosexuals from hammering away at the problem. They simply become more feverish, they pile the makeup on thicker. They sway more from side to side they camp more outrageously. And of course the more they do this, the more the desired object recedes.
    Was there a point here hmm... I've had people express similar sentiments to me before and it's always clearly a grab for social control/domination/to try and put you back in your place but they wouldn't be able to handle my sexuality really if they ever became the target of it imo. I'm a very obsessive person (obviously.) But I'm also very selective irl so it works out.

    I didn't really mean for suicide after rejection to become a reoccuring theme in this post but it did so subconsciously/accidentally I suppose. The song I love you I'm going to blow up your school is one I've liked for a long while, but the music video is one I just discovered and it's from a Chinese film called An Elephant Sitting Still apparently:

    In Shijiazhuang, gang member Yu Cheng monologues with a woman in his bed about a sitting elephant in a circus in Manzhouli who could be thrashed and beaten but remains still. A man later argues with her; he is Cheng's close friend and she his wife. The friend later kills himself off-screen. Later, Cheng meets his girlfriend, who rejected his sexual advances, and blames for the suicide. He tells her he plans to see the elephant in Manzhouli.
    The writer and director also committed suicide shortly after finishing the film apparently.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  3. #4698
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    https://www.academia.edu/40639247/Tr...a_Breckinridge

    The view of decadence as a protomodernist tendency in late nineteenth-century texts is thus supported by the presence in those texts of allegorized trans femininity. Rachilde’s Monsieur Venus (1884) is probably the most explicit example, detailing the systematic feminization of a young male artist, Jacques, at the hands of the decadently perverse heiress Raoule de Venerande. She takes the masculine role in their affair, using him for her own pleasure.When Jacques surpasses the feminized bondage in which he is placed, seeking to bed Raittolbe, an alpha male companion of Raoule’s who finds himself irresistibly attracted to the youth, she engineers a duel between the two, and thus the murder of her lover. In the novel’s notorious closing scene, 'armed with silver pincers, a velvet-covered hammer, and a silver scalpel', she removes Jacques’ teeth, hair, and eyelashes so that a German artisan can incorporate them into a wax model of his body.14 As the title suggests, she has him made into a sort of anatomical Venus, a wax medical model that was common in the nineteenth century. Such models were ordinarily of vivisected women, eerily eroticized with long flowing hair, make-up, and sometimes strings of pearls.15 Accordingly, Raoule regularly visits the sumptuous chamber housing her creation and takes her pleasure of it, via a hidden spring that 'animates the mouth' and 'spreads apart the thighs.' 16
    There's a contemporary film about a relationship between two girls - Lost and Delirious that's very similar to this actually. I dunno if I made that connection before or not lol (spoilers)

    Except unlike in Rachilde's work the lesbian character duals the guy, and the two female characters break up because one girl's parents are very homophobic. Since everyone constantly insisted Rachilde was a lesbian (it even pops up in the novel and the character is insistent she isn't.) I wonder whether that image/stereotype was around at the time. It's this trope which is obviously unflattering (Why did they want Rachilde to be a lesbian again lol? I think she was bisexual though and I doubt that existed conceptually back then. Politically correct positive representation didn't either lol.)

    Tori has sex with her boyfriend, which prompts Paulie to declare a duel with him. After she kicks his leg, during a fencing match, throwing him to the ground, she demands that he give up her queen. When he brushes her off, she stabs him in the leg. Mary rushes to stop her. Paulie then runs off. Mary runs to Victoria's soccer match, which is being watched by the principal and the main teacher. Just after reaching the group, Mary sees Paulie, sobbing from the top of a building. Crying out for her beloved, she jumps to her death.
    That's how I think Rachilde's novel should have went. The way it went in the novel (although I skimread it,) felt kind of castrated and voyeuristic and I don't need more of that.

    Oh and I haven't watched that film lol. I think it's actually all from the pov of a third character. I just read about it a while ago. Also it's based on a book apparently and it seems the book was a lot more fucked up (as is the trend with films based on books.) And more about gender than sexuality.

    inspired by her own childhood experiences at Havergal College in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
    That's ominous lol.



    Oh right and the ending of that film.

    The running theme continues haha.




    Is this re-recorded? This sounds different to the album version/version I've listened to before.

    Wait it's a cover? Lol. Sounds so close to the original except for vague differences in the music weird.



    They could probably form a tribute band. I was like 'Maybe there was a different version released as a single?' LOL. I actually thought that was Gerard singing too. But then again I once mistook a MCR song I hadn't heard before for a Pink song so. I actually have listened to that entire album many, many, many times too on/off for like 2 decades lol.

    Anyway the breakdown in the cover version from 1:37 or whatever is great though.

    I feel like the last two posts have way too much serial killer energy lol. Need to stop.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  4. #4699
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    Lol I love Tina



    OK for some reason I read this as bad boy and it was so much better/funnier as 'bad boy.' I'm just going to pretend she said bad boy. I mean it's still kind of funny but that worked better.

    There's this one detransistioner in the UK (was previously living as a trans woman I guess,) and he's trying to make it harder for people to transition here when it's already insanely hard and he pursued treatment in his mid 20s and it took until he was 31 before he was able to get surgery.

    It says here that he'd delayed and cancelled this operation multiple times:



    And people are complaining about this. Make it make sense. That's how hellish things are here.

    The mainstream media seems to be trying to spin this into some kind of sympathy thing because the media is deeply transphobic. Take some fucking responsibility for your choices Jesus Christ. This is pathetic.

    I mean I don't know what to say. Do you not know yourself well enough by 31 to be able to think about these things? And he went through 5 years of therapy before hand. I don't think you can spin this into an argument that it should be even harder for everyone to transition. Nobody's talking about the regret rate for other surgeries that exist which are higher. It is actually quite low statistically and this person is attempting to foist responsibility - well into adulthood - onto others for decisions about what to do with his own body. It's insulting actually as women are banned from being able to get abortions in many places. Or to choose to become infertile because 'you might change your mind later.' It's infantilising.

    Here's an idea though - crazy I know - if you're not 100% sure you don't get surgery that removes your genitals that you know can't be reversed. 31 fucking years old I do not understand. This isn't even ambiguous agewise like at what point are people adults in this culture?

    This is probably a fair point:

    this is pretty transparently someone getting a bad bottom surgery result and then going fash out of rage, self hatred and intellectual incuriosity, instead of developing a lucid critique of currently existing trans healthcare.
    I'm not satisfied myself so guess what? I won't be getting surgery lol.

    When I was 31, I dropped out of an Ivy League graduate programme and instead accepted a job managing the shoe department of Sears at the King of Prussia Mall. I am suing everyone who didn't stop me from doing this. Every one of you bitches.
    I've been making a lot of bad choices or not making them is probably more apt for years now lol. But that's on me.

    In fact earlier I was reading this fanfic and thought 'huh my lifestyle is fairly comparable to a guy whose death was faked to avoid being murdered by people who are after him and his housemates/co-workers/friends and so now he rarely leaves the building he lives in to avoid being murdered. For 20 odd years in fact before the start of the fanfic.'

    "We've talked about this. It's my life. It's my death. I don't want to live like this any more -- it's like being stuck in an aquarium with one-way glass. I can only see out, and nothing comes in. And then there's you. You're a different kind of real. You're ... god, I can't say that, it sounds like you're just an anchor. I would still like you, even if I'd never touched you, never seen you. I've liked plenty of people who were never more than text on a screen, because that's what I do. I do text. I know text, and how people use it. The fact that you're an excuse to go outside is just that -- an excuse. It's not the only possible reason I could have, it's just the only one I've found at all compelling.
    This is such a perfect line/summary.

    This. This enrages me to the point where I'm not even going to say anything and I'm just going to post it here:

    The other litigant is a man who is very angry that he cannot control the life of his fully grown adult child. So maybe my dad could sue the state of Kentucky too.

    No you know what. Because I was planning on posting this anyway as it fits this post:



    "It's no fun to be told that you can't blame your parents anymore"

    Except apparently you can because they're going to try and control your entire life anyway. Boomers.

    Can you not?

    (prob gen X actually if their kid is 21 thinking about it lol but the pattern continues lol.)

    We can't do this right now because the Human lifespan is not significantly increasing in fact the average life expectancy has actually lowered in many groups over the past so many years I believe. We're not elves unfortunately. Most guys aren't that hot, and we can't stretch adolescence out for 100 years. Wait for them to cure aging I guess or invest in that research.

    I just think in song lyrics now 😂

    We are young
    Wandering the face of the Earth
    Wondering what our dreams might be worth
    Learning that we're only immortal
    For a limited time




    There's a song for almost everything.


    anyway obviously "male femininity" is not ipso facto a revolutionary mode of gender expression because disavowal of potential femaleness frequently carries a really profound reactionary impulse (specifically in cis men). good morning!
    Completely unrelated but true.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  5. #4700
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    I think this is the interview the Kurt Cobain short came from:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nKGj4FJ7Ek

    He talks about how the music around the mid 80s that was like a crossover of metal/punk was less melodious and more about creating angry noise which he didn't personally like.

    I think someone before made the case that music had been getting less and less melodic over the past few decades. Maybe less complex too. I'm sure at some point someone made a video about that but don't remember the title etc now. It could be this video I just found through reddit which is now unlisted:



    I can't really weigh in on that due to a lack of musical knowledge. I also still feel like there was some other video I stumbled on that wasn't this, though this seems familiar to me too, so maybe I just watched multiple videos on a similar topic lol.

    I do find it interesting that you'll get genres with reference to that in the genre title lol like melodeath. When people brought up emo they'd often highlight how it was more melodic than punk. Maybe the emphasis on that is related?

    And I do like melodeath more I think (Arch Enemy, some tracks by Children of Bodom, Eluveitie - though they're really more folk/Celtic metal,) though I haven't listened to the widest range of metal.

    This isn't actually a metal song but was the first song I heard by them and it's pretty good:



    A lot of the tracks from their Arcane Dominion album are great:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-hkjryDCmg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Lwi2QR6ho

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EplEsr5IVj0

    Some of my favourite 'metal songs' are actually just rock songs written by metal bands ahahah:



    There is an earlier metal version of Omnos too though:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnPnSXPbZc4

    Very nostalgic:





    Hurdy-gurdy's are cool. The folk elements make it a lot more appealing to me. Especially when I first started listening to them that drew me to them and that they were singing in a extinct Celtic language (Gaulish,) because I'm not a huge metalhead per se and definitely wasn't when I first discovered their music (when I was 18/19 or so.) I really love this instrument too:



    Used in the WoW Northrend transport music I think? And Howling Fjord (well and lots of stuff lol but that's when I first noticed while playing WoW. WoW has one of the best video game soundtracks. When people are like scoffing at the idea of listening to video game music I'm like 'OK but consider' lol.)

    He gets it:



    Lol I love this clip 'I'm going to murder you'

    'I understand. Just one sec'



    Went through a phase of listening to DSBM several years ago. Don't remember many of those bands but this one sticks in my mind because I liked several songs from their album Eufori:




    This is I imagine not easy listening/something most people would be able to enjoy/get into hahaha. I think this genre is more emo than emo (like the external image people have of emo emo was kind of a diverse non-genre/subculture where most people weren't really unhappy. Most people didn't id as emo, and then because it went mainstream and a lot of fans of bands that got labelled emo like MCR were female the media etc overreacted) Like I say about Jack off Jill as well but very different to Jack off Jill. Unfortunately the vocalist died of a meth overdose way back in 2011. The lead singer, guitarist etc of the band Lifelover also died of an overdose in 2011 and they influenced this genre a lot. Yeah kind of insane. It reminds me of what's happened with the emo-rap genre since several musicians either committed suicide, were shot dead by someone else, or overdosed.

    There's a kind of bleak 'energy' and 'vibe' to a lot of this (and the Lifelover track I linked,) that reminds me of the film Lat den ratte komma in (not the US remake I haven't seen it, the original Swedish film.) Like it sounds like a really cold winter night I suppose.

    I like Kataonia and some of their music is I guess death-doom. Gothic metal is great which apparently stemmed from death-doom and is more melodic.



    Always loved the guitar in this track and My Dying Bride are supposedly death-doom, doom metal and gothic metal:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4WisCGedcU

    I don't believe this there are two fucking moths now lol. Both flying around my chair and hitting into me. These are not the gothic vibes I am trying to generate here.

    I've got rid of them both outside now.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

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    I don't know if I can keep doing this for the next 50 years

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    I'm not really the one to do it because I mostly lack creative ability and also struggle with attention, motivation, drive etc but I really think England needs to be culturally transformed. Also either way it ultimately has to be collaborative I think.

    What I mean by that is I don't find English culture resonates with me too much - and I don't think I'm alone in that. Maybe in my own case this is because I'm from Luton (and always had issues there,) and if you go back a few generations most of my family aren't English (Welsh, Scottish, Irish, and a mix of non British European stuff.) I don't know. Often some of the more interesting elements of English culture from my point of view are also tied to Celtic roots/mythology. Especially Welsh.

    A lot of the South West is more interesting to me, and a lot of the culture there overlaps with Wales.

    Well my dad is probably less English than I am, and less British since his mum was born and raised outside the UK entirely, but he's fairly nationalistic and probably moreso about England since obviously we're from England. As with the US 'England' can be a country but it's also a tribal group belonging to a set of cultural and political viewpoints. Kind of like the red and blue tribes described in this blog post:

    https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/3...-the-outgroup/

    The Red Tribe is most classically typified by conservative political beliefs, strong evangelical religious beliefs, creationism, opposing gay marriage, owning guns, eating steak, drinking Coca-Cola, driving SUVs, watching lots of TV, enjoying American football, getting conspicuously upset about terrorists and commies, marrying early, divorcing early, shouting 'USA IS NUMBER ONE!!!', and listening to country music.

    The Blue Tribe is most classically typified by liberal political beliefs, vague agnosticism, supporting gay rights, thinking guns are barbaric, eating arugula, drinking fancy bottled water, driving Priuses, reading lots of books, being highly educated, mocking American football, feeling vaguely like they should like soccer but never really being able to get into it, getting conspicuously upset about sexists and bigots, marrying later, constantly pointing out how much more civilized European countries are than America, and listening to 'everything except country'.
    My hunch - both the Red Tribe and the Blue Tribe, for whatever reason, identify "America" with the Red Tribe. Ask people for typically "American" things, and you end up with a very Red list of characteristics - guns, religion, barbecues, American football, NASCAR, cowboys, SUVs, unrestrained capitalism.

    That means the Red Tribe feels intensely patriotic about "their" country, and the Blue Tribe feels like they?re living in fortified enclaves deep in hostile territory.
    If I thought about it I could probably come up with a bunch of these traits for the UK's equivalent of this but many things don't map as strongly.

    I'm thinking about that whole debate/discourse about the image of the queen being projected onto Stonehenge during whatever was happening (hahah my memory for these things is as bad as the amount of attention I pay to the royals lol.) Yeah after googling I'm still not sure why it happened I assumed there was some event/reason.

    I do think it was tacky, and instinctively didn't really like it, but it's not permanent so I don't think objectively it was a big deal. I noticed most people complaining on social media at the time were left leaning politically, from non-English parts of the UK, and Neo Pagans/new age kind of people (sometimes multiple of these groups.) Vs like some guy with football stuff all over his profile and an English flag in his bio who's a royalist and broadly politically conservative and so on. And that's what I'm getting at with the cultural divide.

    Obviously I'm not alone in feeling this way. A lot of people are disenchanted with England and areas of England, and then there's the general history of imperialism etc leading especially on twitter to a kind of hierarchy where the UK is bad and England is the worst and then people from other areas of the UK will try to distance themselves from England. Also an increasing desire for separatism/breaking up the UK. I get where that's coming from. Still if you live in England you have to kind of create something right? That's an alternative to the current vibe.

    The US managed to build up some pretty cool folklore in a short space of time like the whole alien thing but this kind of thing relies on communities of people generally irl (something that's less of a thing these days due to atomisation,) a lack of over analytical scientific lenses, and schizotypal people. I mean really everyone has moved online so the most interesting cultural innovation happening now is happening on websites online removed from geography. Many websites have their own cultures especially Tumblr and 4chan, but most Americanised. Especially on the English speaking internet because they simply have more numbers.

    It is this Americanisation of the internet which is why most people know a lot about American politics, but Americans rarely know much about what's happening in non-American countries (and this gap gets larger when you get outside the anglosphere.) It's also why I can watch a bunch of old old YouTube videos and think 'haha how weird to see almost an entire community of English people.' It's jarring especially with the more laid back feel to older videos and people just wandering around outside talking to their camera. Sort of like how I've felt when I randomly hear American accents irl in London. And my brother has commented that I sound really English in my YouTube videos. He hears me regularly irl but it's notably odd hearing me in videos and I sound 'really English.' Because again the internet is American. (Also other people will sometimes comment on my accent/voice which I assume happens less to Americans especially Americans who aren't Southern or from NYC, New Jesery, Rhode Island etc. You know whatever accent most Americans on TV have.)

    It was briefly European when I was on SAS and being constantly bombarded with pop ups due to poor website administration so the cookie message that usually pops up once would happen every time you reloaded a page if you have a European IP lol.

    THE WORLD IS TRAPPED IN AMERICA?S CULTURE WAR

    America won the internet, and now makes us all speak its language.
    https://www.theatlantic.com/internat...re-war/616799/

    In the 2000s I spent a lot of time on Habbo Hotel a Finnish chatroom with different localised versions and I'd go into the different ones sometimes to see the differences. I learnt some basic Finnish too when I was 12 or so but that was mostly unrelated to that (I was just into the band The Rasmus at the time so started trying to learn it,) Habbo was just a space to test things out. I didn't stick with learning it for long. And there were also early social media sites that were only popular in the UK like Bebo. But eventually everyone started using the US platforms.

    But yes if you have a very rational view of things the more interesting aspects of culture/storytelling can't happen. Like you have to suspend disbelief to believe that government/military activity could be aliens and UFOs and build up weird stories about the landscape and cryptids and such.

    I think from that you get 'vibes' and it satisfies the part of most people's brains that's looking for something more transcendental. Oh you can get it from music too of course. Concerts are great at creating a feeling of group connection. Even for a super loner like me. That's why music itself can be a powerful way of creating and accentuating culture.

    A lot of hyperrational people will dislike the whole supernatural aspect of a lot of it but I think some level of 'magic' might be necessary. You know you look at a place like New Orleans and it's very interesting and a big part of that is music and the arts but there's also the spiritual dynamic again (voodoo etc,) and also the vampire novels. Anne Rice inventing some kind of dynasty of witches lol.

    And I don't think you have to kind of abandon rationalism entirely to get that either. People are so black/white about this stuff. A lot of people view 'magic' as more of a psychological and archetypal phenomenon than spiritual. I definitely don't suggest going down the organised religious route either Jordan Peterson became infinitely more boring after converting to Christianity frankly lol and I'm sure there are others reasons for that but yeah lol.

    And you know people are bringing back older polytheistic ideas, and occult stuff online because there is a gap and I think it might be wishful thinking to assume most people can separate themselves entirely. It's not the entirety of cultural development but if you look at the websites that have developed the most into their own strange little cultures they absolutely have spiritual components. 4chan has kek/Pepe/meme magic malarkey and Tumblr also likes frogs interetingly but also invents fake Greek Goddesses, films that never existed, and stuff like that. And you can argue I suppose that a lot of the otherkin and xenogender development that mostly did not originate on Tumblr but took off there, has roots in older cultural spirituality. Like totem animals and such.

    But yeah I was thinking again about the Alan Moore interview video I watched before where he talks about a lot of people feeling disenchanted and the importance of writing transforming the places where you live and geographical locations in reality.

    'We need more ghosts'

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kw-NZ1tMmg

    Like it's a way to transform reality through fantasy in a sense because it makes you feel more connected emotionally to the geographical area, and more inspired.

    I think it helps to be somewhat more based in reality to then go into fantasy to then transform the reality though lol. Like looping in and out. You need enough familiarity for it to feel believable so people can suspend disbelief. I have managed to somewhat create a genre of YouTube video or moreso popularise it so more people on YouTube started to talk about the general topic and that's a sort of mini culture development but obviously it's online and what I'm doing has minimal connection to reality although other YouTubers manage to find ways to incorporate the UK and England and even their town or region into their related content I've attempted as much as possible to remove myself as a focus point and I'm not very rooted obviously so it's difficult. For privacy reasons as well.

    Although - I say that - but someone who did end up uploading videos more recently and approached me about using some of my videos in their first upload. I actually noticed on one of their videos someone who clearly knew them from real life was talking about Luton so that was interesting. Also from Poland originally as like a lot of YouTubers in the wider community (I don't mean all of YouTube I mean there's like this 'genre' group and then there's another wider group made up of a disproportionate amount of Slavic people, and then there's another wider group and so on. I feel like being vague here.) Lots of Slavic people in general though in the slightly wider group. I don't know why but that's a thing I noticed. And actually speaking only English means I'm somewhat cut off from many of these videos though I've stumbled on some of them via this Russian speaking forum I've ended up on a bunch of times. I don't speak Russian so I have to translate the webpage.

    I mean there's a part of me that wants to do that with my hometown because it feels productive and could be useful on a personal level, but I have so much personal trauma and other [BEEP] connected there that I don't see how that can work easily. Like I don't feel the 'magic.' It's no Glastonbury lol. (It's probably like Gotham if it wasn't a city.) But it's in desperate need of various things frankly - economically etc. I mean if someone doesn't do something Luton is just going to be Andrew Tate (and I can't have this most of all lol,) a criminal infamous for being known as the most violent prisoner in the UK (whatever his name is had a film made about him. He's kind of weird too changed his name to something based on Dali and started making art - because I mean - he is from Luton. It's no Florida but it has it's moments.) Islamism, nationalism and Tommy Robinson's home town. There is a carnival too which is pretty big lol. That one Deadpool guy (dresses up as Deadpool and interviews people on YouTube/does charity stuff,) seems cool though. There was this really interesting music place ran by this kind of eccentric guy, but it closed down some years ago because of the owner's health issues and he down sized to doing music lessons from his home and that place is now housing. Obviously things like that won't get as much attention.

    Whenever I've become interested in a place - not always but mostly - it's because there's some kind of art attached to it either music, or a book I read, or a film I saw. Something like that. My interest in New Orleans absolutely came initially from reading Anne Rice novels. So it can also help bring other people in - especially creative people - but then you have the gentrification issue potentially.

    I do think YouTube has the potential to be useful in this way too I've just not been using it in that way. I did once make a bunch of vlog content years ago back in I think 2013/2014 mostly that got barely any following and I would not want to do that again ideally. Don't have the psychological strength for that. The internet are like vultures. Watching someone who has been far too vulnerable with their sizeable audience who has diagnosed BPD and their life has been falling apart husband cheated a bunch and they broke up etc, and the hate they get from some people is insane and difficult for me to process honestly. They don't seem like a bad person at all and these strangers don't know them regardless. They used to make similar content to me then they started vlogging.

    I don't regularly watch their content but was thinking about that yesterday when I stumbled on a live video from this person and an email they mentioned getting and the hate in it was just insane like what? Did they kill your cat? It's partly because there's a lot of resentful kind of psychopathic people floating around who want to hurt anyone who shows vulnerability. And I've gotten crazy [BEEP] from people before too online and you do get trolls on websites that prey on certain groups of people. But with them they have a huge following and they're being open about their life publicly so it's so much worse. And there's an entire community now built around just discussing them in a specifically critical context. It's not even like it's a political thing or cultural thing it's just a mentally ill person whose life is falling apart and manages to make some money off it. I assume that's part of the issue - envy.

    But I've digressed massively from my initial point. Yeah I don't know. I'm always frustrated - and this goes back years - by my inability to overcome some kind of creative block and to motivate myself. But for years now that wasn't my primary focus because I think I was in a different headspace. But now I've kind of gone back to that older headspace so it's like there's that urge again but the mental blocks are still there. But I don't know I need to keep working on my next YouTube video and there's been a massive gap now.

    And I'm trying to be more creative with this one in particular and I like some of the things I've done. I feel like some of my aesthetic interests and themes I'm interested in come out through this video and many of my others. Kind of surrealism and horror/creepy stuff/fantastical elements. But it's often not enough. I dunno. Maybe this is somewhat snobbishness and this sense I always have of like needing to create everything from the ground up and it's using video games it's not eg: a classic art form. But I am limited by the medium either way I think but it's also something I can focus on and have managed to keep up as a routine instead of ditching (not doing so great lately but in general,) probably because there was no significant learning curve (I can't force myself to start doing things often and then if there's a learning curve it's worse,) and it was just a natural progression over time and it's productive and this is also a way for me to make some money you know - which is important and I can't avoid. And also when it comes to YouTube obviously what the audience wants is relevant. I don't think this next video is going to do brilliantly because it departs a little from a lot of my content - and also because of the gap with the algorithm. I know someone who makes similar content and didn't post for about 4 months once and their channel never recovered growth wise. There are some other reasons for that but I really do think that messed them up. Really annoying thing about YouTube especially if you're a reasonably small channel. You can't really take a break from it a lot of the time and then go back. And for me it really helps to have the audience and to collaborate with them sometimes etc.

    Also someone on reddit asked if they could use some clips from my video in their next YouTube video and they have like 22k subs. So it seems like it might be an idea to get this video out before then so there's something newer. I'm pretty sure that won't attract anyone to my channel though (edit: Oh yeah there's also the fact I forgot about that their channel is French language, so many people probably won't want to watch my English language channel lol,) since I didn't get much from another video that blew up a lot on someone else's channel that included a bunch of footage from one of mine. Also several other medium sized or small channels have mentioned my channel it doesn't really generally attract a lot of people I don't think. There's also a screenshot of one of my video thumbnails in someone else's video with over a million views 2 million? And they have like 800k subscribers but tbf they didn't include the video name there or credit anyone whose footage they used in general in that video lol. So close though lol. (They've started crediting people now though I believe.)

    But I still ultimately like this idea so I am very gradually continuing on with it. Another reason it's taking so long is I decided to do a bunch of extra stuff too so it's taking longer anyway.


    I feel like it's also very important because my life is a disaster and I can't really function socially or in most ways lol. So the creativity thing is important you know for the same reason people use religion. And it feels similar I think. Some kind of connection. I just need to find a way to solidify stuff into some kind of form. And probably should be less critical because I know that's not useful at all to the process.

    Some of the stuff on this webpage really speaks to me like where he says he started Porcupine Tree as a joke:

    https://neuralrustsite.wordpress.com...unday-of-life/

    In the early 1980s Porcupine Tree began as a joke between Steven Wilson and friend Malcolm Stocks, who Steven had met by placing an ad in a weekly music paper. Malcolm was one year older than Steven and lived one town over in Berkhamsted.
    The two shared a sensibility for absurdist humour, and were taken with a fictitious band The Dukes of Stratosphear, a pseudonymous side project for the band XTC, and an affectionate homage to 1960s psychedelic music. Inspired, the pair dreamt up their own fake psychedelic groups; Malcolm created The Incredible Expanding Mindfuck and Steven? The Porcupine Tree. They even went as far as to create elaborate backstories for each "musician" in the groups, including several trips in and out of prison. Sadly, the antics of Sir Tarquin Underspoon, Mr. Jelly, The Expanding Flan, Timothy Tadpole-Jones, Master Timothy Masters and their loyal crew members Sebastian Tweetle-Blampton III and Linton Samuel Dawson have largely been lost to the annals of rock history.
    SW: "I would ring him and up and say, 'Hey Malcolm, I've recorded the first Porcupine Tree album' and I'd bring it over and play it for him. Out of that came early songs like Space Transmission and some of the other things which are on the first record. Malcolm was really the person I was making that music for, just to amuse us both."
    That's also insane because it doesn't sound like a joke and it's amazing although yeah OK I can kind of see it in part (music video not made by them):



    The music definitely got more serious over time. I like the whimsical feel of early Porcupine Tree a lot though.

    I wish my 'jokes' were as good as that LOL but yeah I kind of get it because when I create stuff it's usually either driven by humour 'this'll be funny,' or I get some other reaction like discovering that I enjoy people being creeped out a bit after I posted something on Tumblr that got some attention and then a similar reaction with one YouTube video and so I kept going and then eventually the creepyness became less of a focus for me and the audience but it gave a creative outlet like I say. Or it's connected to sexual drive like I'm messing around in Photoshop to make a female Loki photo manipulation thing. Sometimes the inspiration is more from other art etc too though like when I was messing around with music before and that was at least partly inspired by listening to certain music.

    Another essay wow. This is just a diary for me. I need to make a blog somewhere at some point but I just got so used to posting on forums that it feels more comfortable somehow.

    Edit: I kind of went off on a tangent here and I don't feel like I really concluded my initial point so when I say 'England has to be culturally transformed' that's a separate apolitical statement and it's not to distract from the issues with the UK government and Westminster specifically or historical issues. I know I once made some joke on another forum about my feelings RE my country and that the music here being great unlike all the political [BEEP] etc helped a bit, and then someone seemed to take that seriously 'yes that makes up for [insert bad stuff.]' (I don't remember exactly how they responded but something like that lol.) But I'm not a Christian so the remodelled original sin thing that has now transformed and moved into the political sphere is quite off-putting to me and I think fundamentally useless. It's not going to reach its target audience anyway. I don't think it's necessarily healthy to leave England to the tories and their strange bedfellows, and then just sit around hating it is the tl;dr of this post probably. I mean you can definitely do that if you're not English, but you know not if you actually live here.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  8. #4703
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    No that's cheating. Play the 50,000 notes 😠



    Wow what beautiful music.

    I'm starting to wonder if this man even knows how to play guitar
    It's funny but he kind of ruined it by posting earlier videos playing guitar. What you actually want to do is drag it out for ages playing a few more notes every video and then finally have some unexpected amazing performance which is a combination of all the other videos in a public place or something in one video. Maybe in a field surrounded by highland cows. But that might not be great sound quality so maybe just record the video there and the audio separately. Also because the cows might get freaked out or something like this:

    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  9. #4704
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    I think I'm a naturally anxious person probably due to neurological differences + chemistry and this has definitely fluctuated over the years like my generalised anxiety randomly got worse around November 2021 and then I started having panic attacks and really bad anxiety for a year that started getting better around March 2023. And that felt kind of like a side effect of some chemical imbalance. This feeling of dread etc would be there all the time.

    Sometimes I feel like things will bother me and then it will just take a long time to sort of recover. Like when I got freaked out by the giant beating heart thing in the body in the millennium dome when I was 9 and I couldn't eat and felt bad for a few weeks but then got over it and went back to normal.

    With my social anxiety it's never gone away. It's been there as far back as I can remember. I've noticed in research they separated social anxiety disorder from other anxiety disorders because it functioned differently which has been my experience too.

    As I aged I noticed a lot of my anxiety was actually just about other people noticing I was anxious. So really it seems like a fear of oppression/judgement for being weird. And then some of my avoidance is linked to that too but some is also just being increasingly introverted and exhausted by the prospect of socialising. I kind of have to 'switch modes' for socialising too so takes a while to warm up. I could probably become an extrovert if I was in the right environment because I have done before. So that isn't inherent/innate either.

    But yeah I imagine when I was young people were probably very judgemental about my social anxiety (no I don't imagine I know they were often.) Which made it worse. I used to be less avoidant too and could also sort of warm up with certain people. But the older you get the weirder it is if you're anxious and display associated body language etc.

    I'm wondering how much better things would be/have been if I lived in a society where social anxiety was for some reason praised and seen as ideal lol. It would be an interesting experiment. I can't test that out obviously but I think it would have made an impact. It was always seen as a problem by people around me and people were always asking if I was OK, or asking me why I don't speak, or telling me to speak. One time as a teenager one girl said she wanted to slap me because I wasn't speaking. I'd hang out with people and couldn't think of anything to say and they'd get annoyed with me etc.

    I could be really loud and bubbly too depending on the person I was with or my mood etc. Moreso as a child though.

    I know at one point (as a teenager again,) I was hanging out with my friend and another girl I wasn't as comfortable with (but I knew her too,) and she got annoyed because she felt left out. She was actually best friends with the other girl but I probably wasn't talking to her as much because of anxiety but then her friend was paying more attention to me too I guess and she got annoyed with both of us because of that. Then my bully heard about that later and I think blamed me for that (she was always trying to find things to make me feel bad/guilty/shit about myself like trying to convince me my mum doesn't love me etc.)

    I liked hanging out with my friend at that time because she was more of a tomboy and she wasn't very socially complicated so I could relax around her. I don't know how else to put it man haha but after about age 11 I spent a lot of time with a literal psychopath (I knew her before then too,) and then there were various other girls who often had issues with me/my personality etc at different points in time. Hanging out with girls was easier until about age 9/10 in primary school where things started to get more socially complicated. Also I became more anxious I think around girls later on.

    I had two classes in sixth form (well one technically counted as two classes I guess because it was like the equivalent of 2 a-levels and that group were also my form class.) One - fine art - was like 90% girls and the other - software development - there were 2 girls and everyone else was a guy. I felt more comfortable in the software dev class but I was anxious in general so probably wasn't a huge difference. I actually talked more with the girls in the class full of guys too though but I didn't talk much with anyone or form any actual friends during that time (I went to one anime meetup session and I really enjoyed it but then didn't go back again after that because of anxiety haha.) The girls in the software class were South Asian because most people in that class were (only 3 white students,) the art class was the opposite where almost everyone was white. There was one Asian guy and one white guy and everyone else was female and I think almost all white. A lot of the people I hung out with growing up were South Asian. Like my best friend in primary school was, some other girls I would talk to in certain classes and hang out with. I don't know if that's relevant but I think it probably wasn't as relevant as other factors.

    I think I was more relaxed in the other class because I'm more comfortable with computers (in the sense of using them but also in the sense of computers are just calming because I'm some kind of robot. That goes back to childhood too I dunno. I always liked computers. I had this v-tech kid computer thing too and I was weirdly fascinated by this card that was poking out of the side which I guess was a storage thing,) so the atmosphere was better, and I was also better at that subject (well absolutely terrible at hexadecimal division - I think it's been so long I don't remember but something like that - we had to do a bunch of maths tests with different number systems and with most of them I passed the first time but I had to re-take one of them so many times, it got to the point where in the end my teacher just had me in the office to do the test alone but other than that lol.) So those girls would ask me for help etc with programming stuff and sometimes other people would as well. A lot of the guys there weren't super serious about the subject and were there to get money (cause they paid some people to be there. I didn't get money.) And so it was just more of a chill vibe. I was actually quite serious though. Whereas I was was always [BEEP] at art but kept pursuing related subjects anyway because I felt like it was important and wanted to be good lol.

    This comes from my mum I think because she's a very creative person and fairly good at drawing and such. I don't think I liked the academic experience of that though like it's better pursuing creative stuff outside of structures like that imo. Also I wasn't actually learning techniques or how to draw etc or anything materially useful most of the time from primary school - the end of university. Actually in that sense it was a lot like music in high school. These subjects are really badly taught ime so what is the point? Oh my god I had such a crazy drawing lecturer in my first year of uni but this is really off topic so not going down that rabbit hole.

    And the room we had art in in sixth form was really open and very white I think and I'm weirdly effected by environmental ambience. I mentioned this before but like I feel less anxiety in low lit environments and I hate fluorescent lighting also. Like in shopping centres.

    So did I pursue a computing related course at uni? No. No I am retarded. Actually sorry I forgot I was 18 which means I was a literal child and should have sued all the adults I ignored who suggested I not study what I did at uni and instead study computer science etc. We doing this now:

    When I was 31, I dropped out of an Ivy League graduate programme and instead accepted a job managing the shoe department of Sears at the King of Prussia Mall. I am suing everyone who didn't stop me from doing this. Every one of you bitches.


    (My dad tried to talk me out of going to uni but that was mostly because he didn't want me to move away. Even though he was right about me not being good at drawing. The subject had drawing modules but actually it wasn't really the main point/topic. 3D modelling, texturing etc for video games.)

    I don't really regret it though and actually I probably would have failed at computer science (or a similar subject,) too sooner or later because as I say, I was always bad at maths (I actually had to re-take GCSE maths in sixth form although I did learn a lot more in the three months of lessons I had before retaking the test in December then I did in high school, because my maths teacher there was really bad. She was also a huge homophobe. So no redeeming qualities basically.) I can't remember what grade I got at the end of the Software dev course now maybe the equivalent of a B or something. Maybe A- equivalent? It had a weird grading system I've forgotten now I just know it was a fairly good grade but it wasn't the best one you could get. Art was like D- or D or something LOL. If I didn't study what I did I would have studied games programming instead though and I was also seriously considering that at the time. Because I was mostly interested in video game development.

    But yeah the older I got the weirder I came across I think because I didn't compete with other girls and that was sort of seen as an issue I think (like when a bunch of them gave me a makeover because they felt I had more potential but wasn't utilising it,) I didn't dress normally because I liked alternative styles of clothing, and then there was the social anxiety which people really hated. With the exception of my current friendship which has lasted 12/13 years or so and has been mostly long distance and started as a romantic asexual relationship, I've never really been able to maintain friends for more than four years tops.

    I'm kind of mad that I didn't discover Rush until December 2022. I mean technically I did because I remember seeing photos and their band logo all over the place I just never bothered to check them out. So now I can't see them live and they seem like they would have been really amazing live. There aren't a lot of new great rock bands either and rock bands are better live imo. Going to another concert at some point which is likely to be the last for that band. 😢






    Lol just remembered the time Grimes said this:

    https://www.nme.com/news/music/grime...e-soon-2576684

    This is honestly worse than her taste in men. The worst thing she's ever done/said. 😂 (It is kind of clickbait though and I don't think her position is so extreme.)

    "I think live music is going to be obsolete soon," she said
    "It''s kinda like Instagram or whatever,? she continued. "People are actually just gravitating towards the clean, finished, fake world. Everyone wants to be in a simulation. They don't actually want the real world. Even if they think they do and everyone's like, 'Yeah, cool, live music!' if you actually look at actual numbers of things, everyone's gravitating towards the shimmery perfected Photoshop world."

    The Canadian producer - who recently announced that her fifth album 'Miss_Anthropocene' will arrive in February ? suggested that she would be happy with such a sea change because she doesn't enjoy playing live. "As a performer, I hate the potential of failure in front of a giant audience," she told Caroll.
    The artist, who now wants to be referred to as c, told Sean Carroll's Mindscape podcast that she believes the landscape will change because people "don't actually want the real world".
    It's funny too because I don't - or rather can't hack it - but it's one of the only things I like to do in the real world.

    I've heard that for a lot of bands make most of their money touring but also a bunch from merch, and licensing music for games/TV shows. Supposedly U2 make 95% of their money touring and Metallica 71%. But I also think touring/concerts are inhibitively expensive for many smaller artists, especially in certain regions. I know Little Simz cancelled a US tour because she couldn't afford it. It's also just difficult setting up and managing tours especially if you're an indie musician. So for larger artists/bands no, smaller ones probably will tour less but that's sort of always been the way except locally. Touring globally is super expensive.

    I dunno how long Crywank are going to be around for/touring they already broke up once but then released a new album during the pandemic and now I don't know what's happening lol. I think maybe Jay will do other musical stuff in the future either way. I put off seeing them live because although I like a bunch of their music and lyricism I didn't feel like I needed to see them desperately and their fanbase is so small I felt like that would be really awkward anxiety wise. I heard they sometimes talk to people after shows as well. I might actually have to talk to people! I probably should overcome that but it's hard. I have spoken briefly with people at concerts before I even met up with someone once to buy tickets from them in person and then later they hugged me lol after the concert, but yeah it's got more awkward. I remember at a Deftones concert in the queue I played Pokemon while sitting and waiting to avoid talking to people because of anxiety and I overheard some people talking about me doing that LOL. But especially now I haven't been to a concert since October 2018 because of covid etc. Waiting for them to get big enough that it doesn't trigger anxiety but still small enough that I can get near the stage/not be too big a concert and definitely not like arena sized or anything like that. Goldilocks lol. (Maybe they have reached that point now though I dunno.) Their last album was good though. And I actually bought it lol.





    Think this is one of their more interesting songs lyrically/culturally (not from their last album):



    The focus is always on Jay (also alone in this video) it is mostly their project (not sure if this is confusing Jay is non-binary and prefers they/them pronouns,) but there's also a drummer (Dan Watson,) and there was a bassist briefly for a year during one tour + one album and an EP I think.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  10. #4705
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    If a brain produces consciousness, it's not explained why I'm experiencing that consciousness.

  11. #4706
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    Quote Nyctophilia View Post
    Think this is one of their more interesting songs lyrically/culturally (not from their last album):



    The focus is always on Jay (also alone in this video) it is mostly their project (not sure if this is confusing Jay is non-binary and prefers they/them pronouns,) but there's also a drummer (Dan Watson,) and there was a bassist briefly for a year during one tour + one album and an EP I think.
    I've said this before too many times but I like their lyrics because it's very... Millennial. Something Jordan Peterson might rant about for several hours because it reminds him of the part of himself he's worked his whole life to overcome (conjecture.)



    People like this always tend to be very into women's rights and feminism etc which I see numerous issues with ideologically but I disagree with most of the people who are critical of feminism too. (edit: well the problem is that most people only see part of the overall picture. Most people are right about some things, just not everything. And they're working to create a society that works only for certain kinds of people.) This personality type is not without its issues obviously too, but I don't think you can fundamentally change your personality. I think a lot of the culture war is operating on the basis that you can (on both sides.) I mean I'll never find this video now but at one point he specifically talked about a patient he had who he felt was very agreeable and so was confused about whether he was gay because of his personality as in I think the patient was looking for an explanation for his personality. (sort of like Kurt Cobain or something.) But JP said he couldn't answer that.

    Quote Kurt Cobain
    Yeah. I even thought that I was gay. I thought that might be the solution to my problem. Although I never experimented with it, I had a gay friend and then my mother wouldn't allow me to be friends with him anymore because, well, she's homophobic. It was real devastating because finally I'd found a male friend who I actually hugged and was affectionate to and we talked about a lot of things.
    Though he also liked it because he felt it was edgy. Multiple things can be true simultaneously you see (something else lost in the present culture or probably every culture. Seems like a Human failing.) Very fixated on this theme (Kurt Cobain drawing about male seahorses):

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-IslVbCUAAg6o3.jpg

    But it's not like Jordan Peterson seems happy either. 'Do this and' you don't seem happy at all and you still have drug/mental health issues! Neurotic people are always going to be neurotic lol. I mean my life is a mess but I haven't been seriously suicidal (despite being part of a demographic with a 50% attempt rate,) and I've never developed a drug problem.



    I'm aware of what he's getting at when he suggests that masculinity and competitiveness is punished (only by certain circles it must be emphasised. Progressives do this others don't necessarily,) but I don't think that push has the influence he thinks it does or it's not like the whole story. Cause it's like a surface level thing. What you'll actually find especially in a sexual context is that masculinity, aggression and even violence is encouraged or at least the aesthetics of violence.

    4chan is particularly terrible for this for trans guys cause there are so many hybristophiles I guess hanging out there (and I'm sure it's the same for others, but I'm paying less attention. I'm just discussing the LGBT board and related subreddits that discuss the LGBT board because those I've stumbled on and looked at before because I'm queer.) And then in another context gender critical feminists who categorise trans men and afab non-binary people into types and say that psychopathic ones (like that 4chan post I quoted before they would prob be an example. From the person who was going on about how they wanted to be a walking example of toxic masculinity etc and hated how everyone treated them like they were vulnerable etc. You know some other crazy stuff. Like my posts but no like worse I can't be bothered to find and quote it again. You can find the extreme end of that more on 4chan,) she said people like that were male socialised without seemingly realising the contradictory implications of that as a supposed gender critical feminist... They then ended their post with 'None of these types are true trans btw' OK but very few people care about that except as an ingroup community thing to find support, and since you are not trans nor a healthcare provider it therefore doesn't matter here at all. Because as I've said before trans isn't a gender identity 'male, female' etc are. And what you just said is that 'yeah OK they're sort of male or more male if they exhibit these violent, dominating, aggressive qualities. Despite being genetically female.' (Also that person was really weird and admitted to stalking people and pretending to be trans to get info online. Reminded me of my crazy stalker/parasocial hater who was also a gender critical radical feminist.)

    And that's kind of part of why I find that Crywank song interesting. Both the lyrics which are exploring that pressure and the song title which seems to be suggesting the desire to be that or manifesting some more aggressive aspect but feeling guilty.

    I think this is more true for minority men with aggression + violence. I know I feel pushed this way and I'm trans/non-binary. I know black men tend to feel that way because they talk about it. I'm sure that trans guy who shot up a school had this somewhere in his head (I imagine there were multiple motivations, but I'd be surprised if it wasn't involved somewhere.) Then there's cognitive dissonance about it because you get both messages and a variety of people have different preferences. And it's really more that any kind of person you could be is going to be torn apart by some subset of society. And now with social media you're going to see and experience that a lot. A lot more than ever before.

    But I'm on both sides of this in a sense because I'm a man and my value system necessitates not being like say Andrew Tate because he's a huge asshole (very comical in some ways but also asshole and probably developing paranoid schizophrenia with the Matrix [BEEP] lol but that's another topic,) but then being aware that you have to manifest some amount of aggression to be sexually appealing and also to function in society (I would say everyone has to btw careerwise,) and I don't because I'm a very anxious person and so on. That's damaging self esteem wise. So like I've found a sort of compromise through a kind of 'nerdy creative gamer thing.' I think.

    But I'm also attracted to guys and I'm a woman. I have that history and it's part of my identity. I am turned off by a lot of traits (sexually but also in a general sense annoyed,) by people who - I think often have felt personally demonised for their masculinity or some part of themselves. They're also a bit unstable emotionally, and so they're really aggressive and they try to gaslight you about your preferences and to dominate you socially and sexually. You know like the kind of people that lesbians and trans men encounter a lot like Elliot Page was talking about (did I delete that post? I really don't remember. No I didn't lol. Yeah the suicide/serial killery post yes. Lmfao) You know like I've been told online 'one day you'll grow out of this and get pregnant' and I reacted to that violently. I think I talked about that in that post unless I deleted that part cause I edited it a lot. The mods were not amused with my response to say the least. I'm sure they were amused though because being a troll - the response was part of what they were going for in the first place.

    I don't like the idea of being the more feminine kind of person in a relationship with a man. This kind of polarity is unappealing to me as are prescriptive norms in general. And I don't want to go into all my preferences because that's as messy as the 'gender stuff (tm)' But I'm not attracted to very masculine men as a rule. And if I think about my ideal male partner it's definitely an archetype (and that's a problem too.) So in a sense I contribute to the push against a lot of masculinity. One guy on a forum felt insecure at one point because of the guys I posted there and expressed attraction to - they told me. I've come across several guys who have concluded erroneously that all women are lesbians or that femininity is objectively more attractive (because they find it more attractive and also want to look that way. They'd developed body image issues related but I think one id'd as a genderfluid guy and the other agender so not a guy in that case. The agender person I remember absolutely hated body hair. The other person was actually attractive imo and androgynous, but wanted to look even more feminine and disliked their nose.) Although I do find some aspects of masculinity appealing. Like androgynous bone structure and the interest in technical stuff.

    But also I don't contribute - because where are the guys with super long mermaidish hair in 2023? How much influence could I possibly have? If I grow out my hair really long and become famous will some guys start copying me like some might have - theoretically - with women in the 70s and then I can try and have sex with them? No I'm not hot enough to trick men into being hot. The femboys often have short hair now. And that non-binary person I used to have a crush on irl before they came out when they had long hair cut their hair short ages ago. I will have to convince attractive women to do this. (I mean to grow out their hair so guys copy them.) Thank you for your service at least RE hair length. Laura Les is married to a trans guy too apparently lol. So yes I am kind of trying to turn you into my lesbian girlfriend. That's not politically convenient - don't think about that too hard and ignore it - but I also want you to be my gay boyfriend and maybe other things. Am I insane? Yes. And also the weird nightmare/monster/Matrix you all keep talking about it seems but shhhh. I still think I'm taking it a lot better than him such a diva. I don't know if there's a song with that title there should be 'so I'm the monster parent's tell their children about at night?' So many genres to go with. I think post-rock maybe. Or like glitch/IDM which is apparently what The Glitch Mob's Drink The Sea album is. No that's cool but it's definitely a post-rock song.)



    Spooky (I actually discovered this webpage a while ago but I didn't read the entire page lol):

    The Monster would thus be a woman, but a woman who would answer Freud's infamous question "What does a woman want?" with the ostensible reply: to be a male, with a female to love. In the failure of that project, the Monster is forced to play the role of the castrating Medusa woman.17 The novel of course never for a moment suggests that the Monster is anything but a male, and both Frankenstein and his creature assume that he is sexually functional as a male (there would otherwise be no need for Frankenstein to destroy the female monster). Yet the Monster never is given the chance to function sexually, and we are never given a glimpse of those parts of the body that would assure us that he is male. Of course we aren't: such is not part of the discourse of the novel (setting aside pornography) at the time. But this necessary cultural reticence, subjected to our retrospective critical pressure, may add a further ambiguity to the problems of definition of monster -- may indeed add another dimension to that question "What is a monster?" A monster may also be that which eludes gender definition. In this sense, Frankenstein would be a more radical version of that considerable body of Romantic and "Decadent" literature -- such as Theophile Gautier's Mademoiselle de Maupin, Henri de Latouche's Fragoletta, Balzac's Sarrasine, Rachilde's Monsieur Venus -- that uses crossdressing and hermaphroditism to create situations of sexual ambiguity that call into question socially defined gender roles and transgress the law of castration that defines sexual difference. The Monster's demand for recognition by his father could then be read not only as desire for the absent mother but as a wish to be a sexual object for the father, in the manner of Freud's Senatsprasident Schreber.18 Because a monster is that which calls into question all our cultural codes, including language itself, we can understand the persistent afterlife of Mary Shelley's creation, which shows us that, quite literally, once you have created a monster, whatever the ambiguities of the order of its existence, you can never get rid of it.
    http://knarf.english.upenn.edu/Articles/brooks2.html

    I mean you kind of can get rid of us lol. All monsters are Human. (Back in reality land.) I'm not sure what's worse 'you're a monster' or the complete erasure.

    (Their reasoning for why they think this is with the novel Frankenstein isn't that solid, but I see this pattern time and time again anyway. Actually I think a lot of gothic heroines/novels are really more a projection of men onto women though but same difference maybe. Most of the villains in horror and elsewhere are played by amab people and often coded as though they are trans women or androgynous cis men. An exception being like the character in the film Hereditary which arguably does the opposite. But it's a lot more abstract/symbolic. Most people who identify with Loki are afab, but Loki is played by a cis male actor in the MCU.)

    Also I've seen discussion about rape and how conservatives in particular argue that rape isn't about social domination but it's about sexual desire. I think there probably are a lot of opportunistic rapists who are sexually deprived and they can't handle their sex drive. I do think that's a thing. And also a bunch of paraphilic sadists etc. But I also think the domination thing is definitely a part of it and threatening it too not just literally raping, and even like saying something like 'I'll [BEEP] you and you'll become what I want you to be' at the lower end of this spectrum is policing sexual and gender norms. Transparently So when a lot of feminists who are non-conforming on average say that they think it's about sexual dominance they're often probably drawing from personal experience. And there's research showing that certain women get sexually harassed more based on non-conforming personality traits. Camille Paglia who I think may have brought this up before should know this though cause she is a non-conforming lesbian. These aren't mutually exclusive concepts Paglia.

    According to Paglia, "The sexual stalker, who is often an alienated loser consumed with his own failures, is motivated by an atavistic hunting reflex. He is called a predator precisely because he turns his victims into prey."

    After establishing that she thinks that rape is intrinsic to men's nature, a nature that can't be changed, Paglia advises women to try to understand "evil" and then stop wearing short skirts because those short skirts activate men's intrinsic primitive violence boners or something. "[Women] assume that bared flesh and sexy clothes are just a fashion statement containing no messages that might be misread and twisted by a psychotic," according to Paglia. "They do not understand the fragility of civilization and the constant nearness of savage nature."
    I don't know about cis men cause I'm non-binary which to most people means I'm a woman. This is kind of my take on it:



    Louise: 'We've discovered a new type of man!'

    Definitely not a brony though lol.

    But I think in a very abstract sense a lot of my sexual fantasies are coercive (mind control etc.) And I'm very alienated. It's not just that either I've seen some women and trans men... Like one person I stumbled on on twitter recently (when Contrapoints was kind of tweeting a ton about that one film with the lesbian composer I've forgotten the name already lol.) A lesbian responded to tell her to [BEEP] off basically and that lesbian predators were hot or something because Contrapoints had rather sexistly assumed that a lesbian woman couldn't be predatory in the way she was. So I went to this person's twitter page and they were referring to their sexuality as being predatory specifically and I think they were a lesbian who maybe had id'd as trans as well it was confusing I don't know about that. They said they were attracted to anorexic people I think (or maybe they were responding to someone else who said that, someone pointed out an interest in guys which might have been them. So not strictly lesbian despite identity. It would help if I could remember lol. There was like a tweet and then someone said 'yes that's why I like x trait in guys' and then something about having predator sexuality.) By the time I left I felt like I'd stared into the abyss though. And this is why I don't like true crime btw. My mum watches that stuff constantly. And I talked to a trans guy years ago and he had some interest in anorexic women too with some rather disturbing conclusions he'd come to about it.

    I'm not attracted to anorexic people but I do find skinnyness attractive and there have been some other weird things. It just feels like incredibly watered down serial killer sexual interests sometimes. Which isn't a comfortable thought. I'm not going to go into all that. I don't feel like I have much drive towards pushing that irl but then I'm also chemically castrated right? By nature. (And there was another person who went on testosterone I mentioned before and started to get violent sexual urges about women that freaked them out. They then transitioned and blamed it 100% on testosterone... On the other hand I've seen the complete opposite happen too. A lot of trans guys are AGP or have masochistic fantasies. It's almost like people are individuals woah.)

    I have a lot of romantic fantasies too. Lots of vanilla interests. I'm not like the other guys. And you know maybe I'm just a huge masochist and submissive because all genetic females are and I've been told that and that's ego-dystonic and now I'm going to prove you fucking wrong and I'm going to threaten to rape you cisgender male troll. My entire existence is just 'I'm not like the other guys/girls.' 'I'm safe, but I'm also dangerous.'

    Very schizophrenic.

    Never be non-binary kids.

    "You're trying to indoctrinate" No, no far from it actually. What I'm saying here is a little bit fucked really isn't it? Well I'm more like this:

    "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair."
    - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Genders.


    Oh someone was shitposting about how transing Virginia Woolf was too easy and they wanted a challenge like Charles Dickens. I just did it. I've won. Boom.

    I actually think most people have to do this dance to some extent now though because you have to integrate various roles in modern society.

    Also I actually think that women are more submissive and masochistic than men are sadistic and dominant. I mean that's what research and surveys I've seen sort of suggests in terms of porn interests etc. That could be wrong though. I think I could be wrong about this but I think there was also something that suggested there were more submissive men than dominant women. So submissive people are just generally more common in a sexual context.

    I don't want to go into the education system and he does bring that up but that's kind of a huge issue in general and outdated probably for society. It was built for the industrial revolution. It's very one size-fits-all. Tons of issues. A bunch of people are trying to find alternatives to that now. There's this thing that I've seen a bunch of people bring up:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_education

    The Montessori method of education is an type of educational method that involves children's natural interests and activities rather than formal teaching methods. A Montessori classroom places an emphasis on hands-on learning and developing real-world skills.[2] It emphasizes independence and it views children as naturally eager for knowledge and capable of initiating learning in a sufficiently supportive and well-prepared learning environment. It discourages some conventional measures of achievement, such as grades and tests.
    It's definitely an upper middle class thing I would say atm. I see it brought up a bunch in certain circles. I think Jessica Kellgren-Fozard brought it up in a video. Some people who were taught that way seem more creative I dunno. Like Dorian Electra. On the other hand after they started out as a right wing libertarian who made videos like this:



    cursed dorian < 3 their real themcel era <3
    hahaha.

    Then went to uni they adopted more left wing beliefs you can see how this was an interim period:



    and then came out as non-binary and adopted progressive views about gender like deconstructing masculinity. So every right wingers worst nightmare. Really the poster child in fact of their worst nightmares. They cite this trajectory often.

    You can see comments about that online (I'm replacing pronouns):

    Yes, they're a socialist feminist now. They got a liberal arts degree at a college in Chicago. Lol
    WHAT?!? REALLY?!? What a waste...
    yes, they got bashed by Gawker in 2013 and started making intersection feminist videos after that. "They" are a gender fluid trans person now and make videos about toxic masculinity.
    They were so very beautiful then.
    They're still beautiful now
    yes they are still cute but in a aesthetic way
    In absolutley no way. And I am sick of pretending and that nowadays you have to tolerate every sick shit. It's utterly disgusting what they have done to their body and their soul.
    'And soul' lol. And again you can see 'the thing' below where they highlight attractiveness as a way to socially dominate and police gender boundaries. They commented the same kind of thing a bunch of times with a passive aggressive smiley face:

    Still they can believe is a helicopter or a sailor moon, whatever, in real life they are still a woman, and they are very cute :-)
    And they are still are a beautiful girl :-)
    And they are a girl and you know it too, you knew it before and they can say whatever or fantasies with any proname, alias, aka, etc, they're still is a girl and will die with that. Don't uses gender ideology for debates, always progreszombies loses. Have a nice day , they are a cutie, right? :-D
    Haha I actually commented telling them what they were doing in the past just found a comment I left lol.

    I get it though Dorian had long hair and glasses (and a block fringe) back then. That's like the most attractive aesthetic for a man. But you know you have to let people do their own thing. People don't exist to be your lesbian boyfriend.



    These ideas are nightmares to white parents whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings - Eminem.

    He was so real for that.

    I'm actually, again, not big on many of the ideological viewpoints but their music is interesting:



    Deconstructing masculinity... Tbf they do that with feminine archetypes too like the pumpkin spice Halloween thing:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLnVLo6uxqo

    There was actually a trans guy who responded to one of their videos saying something positive like 'this helped me to realise I don't have to be masculine' or something like that, and then they came back several months later 'like [BEEP] you you hate men.' Hahaha. I loved this because It's so the present conflict and especially for trans guys or any trans person who identifies as a man at all really.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  12. #4707
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    "Intelligent dance music"

    Lol that has got to be one of the most pretentious genre labels of all time.

    I do like stuff that appears to be called that occasionally though.

    British electronic music and techno artists, including Aphex Twin, Cylob, and Mike Paradinas (A.K.A. μ-Ziq), have criticised the term IDM. Paradinas has stated that the term IDM was only used in North America. Criticism is dominated by the use of the term "intelligent" in the genre name, and also often calls attention to the fact that artists working under this name often produce music that is not easy to dance to.
    What are you talking about? I always dance to Rhubarb:



    This is obviously ambient though. But someone posted it on the IDM subreddit.

    Again very dancy:



    Dark ambient lol.

    A lot of stuff under that label sounds different from other stuff.


    Apparently they're making an entire expansion pack about horses for The Sims 4. People have been wanting them for a while but this is honestly a terrible money grabbing idea. They really should have been released with the cottage living pack or pets if anything. The Sims 3 pets introduced horses, cats, dogs etc all in one pack. Cottage living was also somewhat limited. A more expansive farming pack would have been cool. The world system in The Sims 4 has always felt really small and lacking in immersion to me. Really hard to suspend disbelief with how all these worlds are connected and how you can go from one to another so easily. Sims will invite you on a date in a vacation world that should be far away in another region what are they a billionaire with a private jet? Also the bugs and animation glitches and the annoying way the conversation system works so Sims don't look at each other and get stuck in large group conversations instead of one on one which often leads to the aforementioned animation glitches like two Sims are supposed to be kissing but the whole thing happens while they're standing on opposite sides of a room not animating because they're stuck in a group conversation!

    I mean the worlds are so small in The Sims 4 and I assume the horses will only work in some kind of horse world they're going to build.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  13. #4708
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    So unsurprisingly Posie Parker is just pushing to stop adults medically transitioning now.

    https://twitter.com/shaun_vids/statu...41687680397313

    in case you have any doubts about the ultimate aim of the anti-trans movement, here is posie parker/kellie-jay keen admitting the goal is to stop all transition

    @jk_rowling
    wears this person's merchandise and has even offered to pay her legal fees

    cw: transphobia
    she goes on to say she wants to stop the transitioning of adults in a "compassionate" way, using conversion therapy instead of just arresting people. what happens if the conversion therapy fails or is refused is left unstated (but it's just arresting people)
    Gross. Apparently she's calling trans people parasites now too but she made the video private (and has been making a bunch of them private,) after people started reporting them.

    most of the kjk videos i'm reporting were made private weeks ago btw. even deleted videos can generate strikes if they're reported on here, i don't know of a way to do it through youtube itself. i also have two archives of the full channel dw
    hello @TeamYouTube i would like to draw your attention to the video at the following link which contains hate speech. the speaker in the video refers to trans people as parasites and says we must fight to get rid of them (13:19)

    the video is titled "Parasites... every last one." in case you're in any doubt about exactly what the speaker means. also @TeamYouTube here's some screenshots of some relevant sections of your own rules page
    And casually saying she hopes trans women die on Facebook and that she hopes that the 'male body is fatally allergic to fertilised embryos' in response to an article about trans women being able to give birth (it's not possible atm it's discussing the possibility.)

    in this video, Keen voices support for discrimination against trans people in order to keep them out of positions of authority. she says that being discriminatory against trans people is "100% fine by me." (2:00 onwards)
    Also pretending to be a lesbian on a train to make some point to a gay guy:

    this man on a train serving me and he had a lanyard and I said 'can I just say I find that lanyard really offensive as a customer here because it's an anti-woman symbol and he said well as a gay man it's about inclusion and diversity so I went as a lesbian. It's the only time I've ever said it in my life and I hope I'm forgiven but I just went well as a lesbian I find it deeply disturbing and nobody ever wore a lesbian badge but now you're all wearing trans inclusion stuff. Which basically means I don't have any lesbian space or clubs anymore'
    You're probably not forgiven since lesbians are the group most accepting of trans people statistically according to surveys lol. People have worn lesbian badges. And that's not why lesbian clubs/bars are shutting down you retard. The tl;dr At one point all [BEEP] women were defined as lesbians then political lesbians came along and ruined everything (as they generally do,) leading some to identify as bi-lesbian and many to [BEEP] off:

    The label "bi lesbian" originated in the 1970s as a result of the effects of lesbian separatism, a belief within some strains of lesbian feminism and often within radical feminism which advocates for separating women from men in as many ways as possible as a strategy to achieve women's liberation.[3] Subsequently, this lead to lesbian separatists rejecting and often discriminating against women who refused to withdraw from their involvement with men, particularly bisexual women. Lesbian separatists accused bisexual women of "sleeping with the enemy" and forcefully removed them from lesbian spaces and from claiming the lesbian identity for themselves, by redefining it as "a homosexual female/woman" or "a woman who does not sleep with men/is not attracted to men". It is because of lesbian separatism that the bisexual label became very popular starting in the 1970s, as the word to describe a woman who was attracted to other women before was "lesbian", whether they were attracted exclusively or not, and now that had suddenly changed.
    So over time less and less women identified as lesbian.

    I also heard on twitter recently though I can't confirm this that some people who dated trans women adopted this label because they were demonised as well. Someone was talking about their aunt who was killed for being in a relationship with a trans woman. But you know it's a twitter anon so could be a lie. There's discourse about this term happening all the time online for some reason lol.

    Since most [BEEP] women are obviously, bisexual, and straight people prefer hanging out at gay bars, bars for lesbians are not economically viable generally. Covid definitely would have made that even worse.

    I think feminine gay male culture just has better marketing/connects with people more and most LGBT+ culture is kind of mixed together these days. This would drive her insane lol:

    Straus is "emotionally lesbian," she says, but "culturally" a gay man: "Not really a woman, I've never been a woman. I'm a drag queen." In other words, she's a young, queer, female-presenting alpha, gleefully claiming a cultural patch of ground once mostly reserved for male artists.


    This is more my thing though (historically mostly)



    I like armour.



    Lol I love how that one person is singing to the whole song. Some people were describing that tour as 'sports for [BEEP] people' or something lol. One of the 17+ [BEEP] cultures.

    DO YOU REMEMBER THAT DAY, WHEN WE MET, YOU TOLD ME THIS GETS HARDER WELL IT DID BEEN HOLDING ON FOREVER PROMISE ME THAT WHEN I'M GONE, YOU'LL KILL MY ENEMIES.

    I actually was at this concert I think lol when I was 14 either this or the day before because there were 2 days they recorded (Billie Joe would be getting very cancelled these days by both sides of the culture war):



    I wonder if this ever actually happened.

    When I saw the Green Day concert Billie Joe was masturbating on stage
    I remember watching Bullet In A Bible with my grandparents and being absolutely mortified when it got to that part... I tried to fast forward before it happened, but they were like ?No, leave it.? Needless to say, they were upset.
    This just never gets old to me, i imagine a lot of underaged fans being just like NO MOM I SWEAR GREEN DAY IS PG RATED
    It did yeah and they always did that during Hitchin' a Ride live, but you couldn't see anything. It didn't bother me at all (I mean I was already reading and writing actually lol nobody needed to read that, gay fanfiction online about the lead singer and bassist so.) Also my mum was there lol. She also bought me an Anne Rice book when I was 13 with graphic sex scenes in without knowing what it was lol (I mean I wanted to buy it, but she just bought it for me in the shop at the time.) I was probably one of the youngest people at the concert lol. I don't think it was all ages but 14+ with an adult but maybe it was all ages. Don't remember seeing any young kids or anything.

    Yeah that concert was so amazing I was in like this kind of almost 'come down' state for days and couldn't concentrate on school at all (I mean on top of whatever general issues I had in that area lol,) and wanted to go back because it was one of the best days of my life. Better than alcohol. I haven't done any other drugs so can't weigh in there lol. I've been to some great concerts since but yeah still kind of chasing that high.

    This is all supposed to be terrible or something oh well. Things felt a lot better than politically.





    ^ it makes absolutely 0 sense musically and lyrically that the above track isn't considered emo but somehow Fall Out Boy were lol? I'm just saying again. Not that basically anyone wanted or used that label back in the day. It's just funny because it shows how pointless/arbitrary that was though lol. Strawberry Gashes as well lol.



    ^ there's a better video than this but I can't post it here.

    Also:

    Kellie-Jay Keen/Posie Parker think lesbians shouldn't named on a birth certificate as parents of a child.

    Her supporters know who she is, they just don't care.
    She gets to self-ID, something she wants to deny other people, but she's doing it about something that she is not just so she can harass someone else. Horrid.
    "People will start pretending they?re something they?re not!"

    Becomes?

    "I identified as a lesbian to demand someone change what they?re wearing in their work place"
    Absolutely still one of the worst and most Karen of people alive today.

    More proof that Transphobes just want us dead.
    Stay armed and most importantly stay safe have a nice day 💜
    Yeah that's illegal in my/her country... But sure if you're American.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  14. #4709
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Just saw someone on YouTube describe Haley from Modern Family as being a younger millenial/Zillenial and I always forget that when the show started she was only 2 years younger than me lol. I think when I first started watching the show it was like 2013 or so and by that time I was like 22. I guess Dylan was either a year younger or older than me depending on the source that's weird. I dunno why but I feel like the show is more gen z.

    How old is Dylan in season 1? Considering Haley is 15 and how tall Dylan is near her, is it even legal for him to date her?
    These people must be stopped. I'm afraid to say height gaps are still legal for now yes.

    I'm getting younger lol:

    Other sources have identified their own ranges for Zillennials. Avery Hartmans, writing for Business Insider USA (based on a PYMNTS report) defines Zillennials as anyone born between 1990 and 2000.[11][12] Ketchum Inc. defines GenZennials as those born from 1992 to 2000.[13] Sociologist & BU professor Deborah Carr defines Zillennials as those born "roughly" between 1992 and 2002.[14] Fullscreen, LLC defines the Millennial/Gen Z cusp group as those born from approximately 1993 to 1999 in their research.[15] Mary Donahue defines the cuspers as those born from 1995 to 2000.[16]
    What is a Zillennial? A Zillennial is generally defined as someone born between 1991 and 1996. The years can vary slightly on either end, but this is the most common consensus when identifying this group.
    Patrice Peck, writing for Cosmopolitan, stated that Zillennials were between the ages of 18 and 29 during the 2020 United States elections, and were the "key to ousting then-president Donald Trump and sending Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to the White House."[17]
    Most go with 1992-1993 though and I was born in 1991 so not quite but by some definitions.

    While generational boundaries are fluid, Zillennials are influenced by both Millennials and Generation Z. According to a WGSN case study, many Zillennials tend to feel more aligned with Millennial sentiments and assume they are Millennials by default.[2] They are characterized as being "raised less by optimistic Boomers and more by skeptical Xers and pragmatic Gen Jonesers, who raised them to focus more on the practical rather than the aspirational."[1]
    I was told that lol yeah. Not that any of this stuff is real.

    I mean I definitely wouldn't say I'm in a different generation than my younger brother who was born in 1992 lol.

    "Zillennials refer to a small cohort born between the early 1990s and the early 2000s," said Deborah Carr, professor of sociology and director of the Center for Innovation in Social Science at Boston University. "They?re on the cusp of Gen Z and millennial, thus the mash-up label of zillennial."
    "They were babies and children when 9/11 struck and don?t know life before airport security screenings, rampant domestic terrorism and other frightening threats," she said. "They attended college during the pandemic, and missed out on important social markers."
    I don't think most people born in the early 90s were in college during the pandemic unless you're talking about a graduate degree. I mean I finished my undergraduate degree in 2012 (I say finished because my graduation ceremony wasn't until the following January technically,) degrees here are 3 years long typically but I would have finished in 2013 I guess if it was an American 4 year degree. So like 2014 or 2015 finishing years if I was born in 92-93 if you include 94 too that's 2016. My cousin who was born when I was 11 or so was supposed to start uni I think during the pandemic and I'd say he's gen Z he was born in like 2002 and his mum (my aunt,) is gen x. She was born in 1972.

    So yeah that only really applies to the tail end of this group.

    The different ways generations grow up with and use technology is a strong delineator in defining generations.
    Does it still count if your family didn't get broadband until 2009 lol? Like just before I went to uni. I'd have to preload YouTube videos like wait for an hour or something so I could watch a 3-5 minute video or something LOL.

    "We've been growing up with technology our whole lives, but we're not TikTok dancers like Gen Z but also weren?t on MySpace like millennials," said Sabrina Grimaldi, 23. She launched Zillennial Zine, a mostly online site for her micro-generation, in 2021.
    I didn't really use it but I did have a Myspace at some point. I mostly used livejournal during my teen years. That site and Deviantart were the before-Tumblr sites basically with a similar kind of audience/culture.

    Among the celebrities she considers part of her zillennial cohort are Zendaya and American singer-songwriter Sabrina Carpenter.
    Yeah I wouldn't consider Zendaya part of my 'generation' per se. Definitely felt like a younger wave etc and they're all in those Spiderman films though of course Hollywood actors play characters that are younger than them so it gets confusing.

    But on the other hand you have friends a couple of years older talking about Bebo pages and Gameboys ? this makes you feel like a Gen Zer.
    Are these friends British lol? I didn't think many Americans used that site but it was very popular for a while when I was in high school. I didn't use the site though because I didn't want to be connected to many people in school.

    Next month I?ll be 24, I was born in 1997 and I?ve never known how to truly label myself. I remember My Parents Are Aliens, Tamagotchis, Tammy Girl, Nintendo DS Lites, Jane Norman bags, scoobies, Woolworths and Dream Phone ? but my friends who are a few years younger don?t. I?m not alone. Kelly Smith*, a doctoral student from Leicester born in 1998, would class herself as a Gen Z as she can only really remember ?things from 2005 onwards,? although thinks that the term 'Zillennial' is better suited because she can remember a lot of ?Millennial? stereotypes. "I remember those weird rubber/slime aliens that gave birth, Hannah Montana, That?s So Raven, MSN, Maybelline Dream mousse and sweep fringes".
    Yeah so British then. Tamagotchis were cool they got banned in my school along with most things at the time. Also remember those weird aliens lol.

    Let's talk about why including 1992/1993/1994 as Zillennials is controversial.
    Having read a bunch I don't think it makes sense. I feel like Strange Aeons is probably a Zillenial, seems to think of herself that way, and she was born in 1998. Like the latter half of the group that started to come out as non-binary and make content related to that and asexuality online on Tumblr and YouTube. Though some people doing that were also older than me. Zillenials often got into debates with younger millennials in their early-mid 20s on YouTube about politics due to their increased progressivism like the whole thing with Milo Stewart. They invented/popularised a bunch of flags and caught the tail end of Emo bands like MCR.

    Gen Z are all on tiktok and millennials were usually on Livejournal, YouTube, Deviantart, Vampirefreaks, Myspace (before leaving,) Bebo (before it died,) during their youth. Tumblr is a mostly zillenial site though I used it on/off over the years and a bunch of gen xers from livejournal moved over there too. Facebook started off as a millenial site and then the millenials all left and were replaced by boomers lol.

    Now, the common definition for Zillennial found everywhere is 1995 - 2000. Doesn't that lean it towards Gen Z a bit too much? Zillennials (subgen between Gen X and Millennials) are like 1977 - 1982. They straddle the middle and include both early Millennials and late Gen Z. Which makes sense when you're talking about the middle of two generations who can identify a bit with both. Can 2000 borns really identify with any late Millennial stuff? I feel like this sub is being pulled towards being more for early Gen Z.
    I'm more than okay with being a Millennial but I'm taking Spongebob with me. I was 6 when that started/s.
    Lol this has gotten so ridiculous.

    1980-1989 millenial

    1990-99 whatever this sub is

    2000-2009 gen z

    then you have middle grounds and overlapping within those

    people born in 1988 have more in common with those born in 91 than those born in 1980

    1994 with 1997

    1999 with 2002
    I feel like culturally approximately 1988-1993 seems like 'my generation' or peers or whatever when it comes to people making content online and discussing stuff. Older than that as a millennial and I can relate quite a bit like ofherbsandalters on YouTube but they have a lot of experiences with the 90s goth scene as a teen that I really don't and the 90s in general since they were born in the mid 80s and most importantly I think they might remember a time before columbine because that had a big impact on everything. Similar with Strange Aeons born in 1998 like some relatable points, but mostly not. Probably closer to the former I guess out of the two (literally too I think.) I remember a time before emo like the mall goth era with Evanescence, Korn etc and like the massive fanbase of Marilyn Manson. I was introduced to Marilyn Manson by an older girl when I was probably 11/12? And she was listening to this song (on her portable CD player because this was before mp3 players):



    I remember liking it vaguely because it had lots of swearing lol (and that was really the only reason lol.) This upload is ironically censored though. But it's not actually one of his better songs. This was after his triptych era which I think is a lot better actually. I like a lot of the songs on those albums but I didn't really start listening to them until much later like late teens probably. I was listening to this sometime between age 16-19:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xxv3zGEw4I

    But I remember how influential he was back then. Obviously he's become hugely controversial (again.)

    I also find it hilarious that zillennials and gen z are supposedly trying to reinvent that and even emo because both were looked down on as posers/annoying and just generally bad lol. I mean people not involved with alternative culture didn't really differentiate though. I'd get called a goth by people and I was listening to like Green Day or whatever, then later an emo when that became more widespread and I listened to a wide range of music but I think during secondary school the only goth band I really listened to was The Cure. I actually listened to a bunch of 90s music too lol due to exposure from my dad and music channels would often have 90s music videos. That's how I discovered this legendary video/track:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg

    Also I was very into Harry Potter as a kid, which is stereotypically millennial. Also Pokemon but the popularity of Pokemon which started in the 90s but that never really died so. Also using VHS tapes and floppy discs in childhood. If you never owned/used DVD's, and you grew up with smartphones around you before teen years then def gen Z I have decided. If you can't remember a time when the internet was better and your life wasn't destroyed by modern social media and/or smart phone use. 😂 (there are statistical trends in mental health issues connected to that though.) I still remember when my mum had a mobile that looked more like a calculator with tiny strip screen that only showed number and large buttons (this was pre-Nokia era.)

    Most kids born after 1990-1992 will probably not remember life pre global internet either considering they weren?t even cognizant before 1995.
    Mm kinda. It didn't really impact my life until about age 8 or so when we started having IT lessons (there weren't enough computers back then for one per person so we had to share.) Not sure if we used the internet at that point but definitely at some point in primary school. I remember Ask Jeeves For Kids lol (or whatever it was called,) with all the hats. I also remember:



    Before then there was this one computer that we'd all get to share during breaks at school lol and play games on it. So there was like a schedule where two people could use it on certain days or something. At home we didn't get the internet until I was about 11 though.

    It?s only controversial with younger people. I consider people born in 1993 part of my generation but definitely not 2000.
    See for me 2000 is way more relatable the 1993.
    You?re closer in age to 2000 so that?s not surprising. I relate more to 1993 than 1998.
    This is where I kind of get upset about this sub. Just because someone born in the early 90s doesn't mean they aren't less relatable to someone born in the mid to late 90s, especially with their childhood.
    This is hilarious lol. No we have to go to war. You were born in 1992 and have a friend born in 1995? Have to ditch them now might as well be a different species. Humans are so funny.

    But do you find anything in common with people born in say, 1994?
    This would seemingly blow their minds but I've found stuff in common with people who were born in the 70s lol. And I mean there were people in the Sims 2 fandom on livejournal who were in their 30s when I was a teen. One was basically an original goth back in the 80s, and I discovered The Cure, The Cruxshadows, Ego likeness (never got into most of their music,) etc through her.

    This song was pretty good though:

    Wait no not that. What is this. Why is this so sexual lol?



    This:



    Definitely darkwave and not really gothic rock but yeah.

    This video is so... Low budget/nostalgic. I like it though.



    I listened to that a lot at one point.

    I mean, if you're just taking 4 years to make a "core" Zillennials, what's stopping 1990 - 1994 from being it's own microgen? I thought the point of the microgen was people right in the middle. 1998 is pretty heavily Gen Z.
    As I say I think 1988-1993 feel more like 'my peers.' This makes sense because it's like average sibling age range where you can still play together or be peers or the length of secondary school or something. Like when I was growing up and playing with or hanging out with other kids they'd be in a range approx. a couple of years older than me to 2-3 years younger. I played a lot with my cousin who was born in 1990 but not my cousin who was born in 2002. I held him once as a baby and saw him a few times as a baby then also with age started seeing extended family less anyway. By the time he would have been 10 I would have been 20 so an adult.

    There's a good chance you saw 4th generation games and consoles in-stores despite that they may have been on their way out. Even if you didn't personally have them, you would at least recall the other fads like Tamagotchis, Furbies, Super Soakers, Beanie Babies, Sockem Boppers, Razor Scooters, and Heelys. Last, you were a kid when Bill Clinton was president. It doesn't get any more Millennial than that.
    Yeah most of these things were a thing when I was a kid. Think we maybe called them micro scooters but I had one as a kid. I like that furbies have come back as eldritch demons in recent years.
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

  15. #4710
    Nyctophilia's Avatar
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    Oh well that guy has always been a huge troll/grifter I remember years ago there was some recording of some phone call with him talking about how he was going to get a bunch of plastic surgery to look like a kpop idol for attention/money. I can't find that now though I think years ago someone included it in their YouTube video on him I think Kat Blaque and this was like several years ago.

    Also projecting honestly lol:



    He has been doing this [BEEP] for years though.

    Yes no woman's considered that lol:



    It's not like some women think about is constantly even to the point of only seeing men as rapists.

    I happen to think you're vulnerable to exploitation on the heterosexual male front.
    I have this feeling that nobody in his family has really been exposed to that reality (wartime rape,) whereas someone in mine was. As a civilian.

    This is an interesting take. Some might blow it off as misogynistic - but he?s advocating for their protection because he knows what men are capable of.
    The incredibly cute thing is that you think women don't want/deserve revenge. Oh and also, that you all transparently don't value any male lives at all LOL. That's cute.

    Maybe they're willing to take that risk for the opportunity to kill the kind of people who do that. Maybe if you don't let them they'll destroy you through other means instead. Or the same means but just illegally lol. Increasingly there's a bit of that too as I said before.

    "Psychopathic women stop trying to destroy us/society."

    "Psychopathic women you shouldn't physically fight/kill men."

    Well you've created a huge problem for yourself there Kermit. Not you of course because (and I believe you know/resent this.) You're reasonably well socialised. Almost like a woman.

    Oh don't worry. I'm 'female socialised' (mostly,) so I'll be using indirect means to take down hegemonic males where possible. We're selectively breeding you. But a lot of women don't have the sexual preferences or access to abortion to be committed fully. Some of them are retarded and [BEEP] Andrew Tate. What can you do. Also just throwing this out there but I'm pretty sure there is a higher rate of female infanticide in abusive/violent relationships. I think Ireland had like gosh mass baby graves. So you should support abortion.

    Have you thought about what might happen if you fall into my hands? As a rapey-murderer? It's actually quite boring/predictable. it's just forced feminisation lol. Unfortunately I know most of their deepest fears involve me being a cis man and I can't manifest that presently.

    I don't even watch this channel but definitely would force them to watch beauty guru content.



    This is amazing out of context though lol.

    You know little girls always do this lol? They seem to have an instinct to feminise men/boys. But then their normie sexuality gets in the way later. His daughter did it to his son (but I guess his son found it amusing, he was worried about that. It's weird that I can't find just that part of his video clipped lol,) and later to him I guess when she was an adult.

    Jordan Peterson: "When my son was about 2 his sister was about 3 and had a little gaggle of friends and they used to dress him up like a fairy princess and this didn't happen for like years it happened for a couple of weeks and he was playing along and I went down and I'm a northern Albertan you know so the gender roles there were fairly finely defined and I was watching this like is it really a good idea that he's got wings on and a little fairy hat and a wand and a dress. Like is that OK? And I talked to Tammy about it like 'the girls are dressing Julian up like a princess and I have qualms about it but I'm not sure what to do cause he was having a good time and he was playing with the girls'"

    Joe Rogan: "What qualms could you possibly have about that? From my personal experience of having daughters they think it's funny to put me in a dress.

    Jordan Peterson: "It is funny."

    Joe Rogan: "Yeah well, there was a dress that my wife was throwing out and my daughters made me put it on. They forced me to and they took pictures of me. They thought that was hiarious.

    Jordan Peterson: "Yeah, yeah my daughter decorated me up like a woman one day in her makeup class.

    Joe Rogan: "Right so what's wrong with that? Nothing right? It's fun."

    Jordan Peterson: Well that's what I concluded.

    Joe Rogan: "But why would you worry about anything else? Other than it being fun?"

    Jordan Peterson: "Why was I worried about it? I suppose because I hoped that his pathway towards adulthood would be-"

    Joe Rogan: "Normal?"

    Jordan Peterson: "Yeah, sure. I only had qualms about it for two hours I went and thought about it. I thought OK what's going on here. Well he's playing with the girls. OK should he play with girls? Yes. Definitely. He should play with girls adult males should play with women. We should be able to play with people of the opposite sex. So he's learning to play with the girls. Good. Is he enjoying it? Yes. Are they bullying him? No. Are the girls enjoying it? Yes."

    It's probably some kind of test. If you respond ballistically you've failed. I fail similar tests all the time because I'm rather *gestures to post*



    It's funny because both of those kids have psychopathic (or well sadistic at least,) traits it just expresses differently. But we don't get a movie about Hannah.

    To the extent that people might listen to him Jordan Peterson and conservatives are quite dangerous. But I wrote about this before. I think he's motivated by empathy for women so he doesn't want them to go through certain experiences. And this is slightly ironic because often I think conservatives complain that most female political beliefs are motivated by empathy and concern but they do the same thing but only with women.

    If you don't give psychopathic women outlets they'll destroy the culture instead. Cause what else are they going to do? I mean she couldn't have made it any more blatant for you:

    Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex.
    I'm trying to find a clip of Sheogorath saying 'you won't like me when I'm bored' lol I can't so just posting this:



    The West probably has a higher percentage of female psychopaths because (aside from all the other obvious signs lol,) the female murderer rate is the highest globally in the US and UK. Some of them used to sneak off to war by 'dressing as men' because it was easier to trick people back then, now it isn't.

    I don't agree with war though it's too destructive on a widespread scale. I think we should create fight clubs. Gay authors being based again. That wasn't the point of that book/film lol (the point I think was to kill/control the part of you that finds that alluring,) but it's not a terrible idea. In particular the idea of someone having an army is crazy. Political leaders who feel like starting a war should be removed from power and locked in a room with some video game consoles. Oblivion on xbox 360. No mods. No cheats. Get that glitch where you get locked in that hut forever that you can fix easily on PC but not on xbox 360. No cheat console. Like the (console) peasants they are.

    Having a very...

    i suffer psychologically it feels like everyone had lost their fucking minds treating me like a vulnerable short girl, it feels like im not aware of some kind of an inside joke that everybody gets except me. i don't even care about how my body looks. i just want to be threatening and scary as fuck. and no, being a "dommy mommy" isn't enough. i want to be fucking creepy and uncomfortable, i want the power that comes with being a man, i want to see genuine fear in somebody's eyes, and not like the part of the roleplay. i just genuinely want to be a walking toxic masculinity type. i just want to violently [redacted] i'm so tired of being weak and put down automatically by everyone just because i was born in this body. im not rebelling or anything i don't want any revenge or some crazy feminist shit. it's just so fucking sad realizing that i would never be something that i really am deep inside. i just want to be dominant in every way possible. i wish i had a cock so fucking badly too. i really like to take advantage of people. i always want to be in charge. i will never be fully happy because of this.
    ...day everytime I have to listen to conservatives speak. (I didn't write this lol it's quoted from a 4chan post.)

    I have to return some video tapes. And that's a problem because Blockbusters has been closed for 10 years.

    Anyways he should think about this since most 'normal' women aren't choosing to fight in a war lol. There's probably a reason for that.

    edit:
    Successful civilizations are predicated on one concept: the ascendancy of the normative social influence that conditions men to be expendable. Sexual harmonization/equality means that this burden will now be shared equally. This is the implication, but it is hampered not only be millions of years of evolutionary biology, but also by the women now kvetching at the prospect of being living bullet catchers.

    Sorry, ladies, this IS what equality means!


    How do you like the world of male privilege now, ladies?


    -Brian McMillan
    I assumed he was actually quoting someone but I can't find anything lol. I think he just signed his YouTube comment with his name lmao.

    Had to google kvetching though it's a term I've come across before. Right wingers seem to enjoy inserting the letter 'v' into random words.

    It's a reasonable expectation for women to be equally expendable in a society where people have to be expendable. Obviously a lot of women do disagree (that's why many gender critical feminists protest things like sex robots and artificial wombs as well, the fear of becoming expendable.) They're not genuine egalitarians they're just people who have somehow been misled to believe that men have it better lol. So there are certain things they want and many things they don't. Genuine egalitarians are driven by a strong desire to reduce any differences between people and groups they're often motivated by fairness. There's also a related thing that's not necessarily the same where there's a desire to make everything mutable out of a desire for the individual to have complete control (which is more my thing, probably correlates with an interest in transhumanism.) And in their most extreme tyrannical form these are the people Jordan Peterson is most concerned about.

    Before Nick Land became boring and while he was still doing tons of amphetamines and writing schizophrenic-adj ramblings that were eventually published, he sort of expressed frustration about well I'll just post quotes:

    Perhaps only Monique Wittig has adequately grasped the inescapably military task faced by any serious revolutionary feminism, and it is difficult not to be dispirited by the enormous reluctance women have shown historically to prosecute their struggle with sufficient ruthlessness and aggression. The left tends to be evasive about the numbing violence intrinsic to revolutionary war, and feminism is often particularly fastidious in this respect, even reverting to absurd mystical and Ghandian ideologies. If feminist struggles have been constantly deprioritized in theory and practice it is surely because of their idealistic recoil from the currency of violence, which is to say, from the only definitive ?matter? of politics. (FN: 1028 )
    I haven't really read Monique Wittig besides that one famous lesbian quote everyone likes to bring up:

    Lesbian is the only concept I know of which is beyond the categories of sex (woman and man), because the designated subject (lesbian) is not a woman, either economically, or politically, or ideologically. For what makes a woman is a specific relationship to a man, a relationship which we have previously called servitude, a relation which lesbians escape by refusing to become or stay heterosexual.
    And this is actually very boring and predictable too tbh. That's going to put me off reading most people that and the attention span issue that mean I probably can't read an entire book without skipping around to different parts randomly. Especially now. I think there was probably more because I seem to remember something else besides this quote but that might have just been others interpretations I dunno.

    Audre Lorde:

    "I have always wanted to be both man and woman...to share valleys and mountains upon my body the way the earth does in hills and peaks. I would like to enter a woman the way any man can, and be entered--to leave and to be left--to be hot and hard and soft all at the same time in the cause of our loving."
    She was a self-described "black, lesbian, feminist, socialist, mother, warrior, poet,"
    In 1962, Lorde married a white gay man and had two children.
    A lot of people were lesbians historically as a way to differentiate themselves in terms of gender and/or gender roles and language was very limited. In this sense it's quite radical for Rachilde to have pushed away from that at the time she did. Some of these people were also attracted to women actually I think a lot have been bisexual. But I think in a lot of ways that was more central than the sexuality aspect even then, and so now you have alternatives it doesn't have as much cultural weight (which people often complain about,) and that's why. Though there is still a 'lesbian' culture and it does overlap with non-conformity. But I don't think it's good to reduce lesbianism to that conflict. 'Sapphic' is prob a useful umbrella term if you're attracted to women as well.

    Even Camille Paglia can't escape 'this' in a different way:

    "When I meet gay men anywhere in the world, there is a spontaneity and a spirit of fun and mischief that lesbians seem incapable of."
    "Gay men are guardians of the masculine impulse. To have anonymous sex in a dark alleyway is to pay homage to the dream of male freedom. The unknown stranger is a wandering pagan god. The altar, as in pre-history, is anywhere you kneel."
    "Paglia doesn't, as earlier feminists did, think of drag queens as a grotesque parody and mockery of the female self. She thinks them guardians of a sacred flame with the same bitchy but vulnerable quality of those camped up actresses, like Elizabeth Taylor, whom Paglia so envies and admires. Drag queens have preserved the idea of women as "dominatrix of the universe"; Paglia goes so far as to claim that she has "learnt how to be a woman" from these men masquerading as film stars."
    I cover "RuPaul's Drag Race" for the Observer, and that is a direct result of learning about drag culture from you in the 1990s. Have you followed the evolution of drag culture over the last several decades, and what do you think of its evolution?

    After the gender-bending 1960s, with its unisex haircuts and flamboyant Mod outfits, there was a cultural reaction: during the 1970s, newly liberated post-Stonewall gay men turned macho clone (jeans, lumberjack shirts, mustaches). The pornographic illustrator Tom of Finland (whom I revere) provided the black-leather master plan for the new s&m look. Drag queens were suddenly out?spurned as a residue of the humiliating era when gay men were automatically classified as effeminate. As I emphasized in the catalog essay that I wrote for the Victoria & Albert Museum's giant exhibition of David Bowie's costumes in 2013, the androgynous Bowie of his brilliant Ziggy Stardust phase was stunningly bold in defying the stereotypical masculine conventions of the current gay movement.
    But he also did that from the position of someone who mostly passed as heterosexual. Very effeminate men (in terms of body language,) usually get more [BEEP] and are seen as weak. Not confident and edgy. Some people bridge that gap a bit like Jeffree Star.

    I must admit to some nostalgia for the pre-Stonewall era of drag, when there were great Hollywood stars like Marlene Dietrich, Mae West, Bette Davis, Tallulah Bankhead, and Judy Garland to impersonate. Sometimes contemporary drag seems a bit too Halloweenish?that is, random, stunt-like, and divorced from myth or psychology. But Halloween was a sacred day for me in childhood, when I startled people with my eccentric transgender costumes--Robin Hood, a Roman soldier, a matador, Napoleon, Hamlet. (It spilled over into adulthood: my new book reproduces a 1992 photo of me from People magazine where I?m flashing a switchblade knife while impersonating a street-fighter from West Side Story.)
    But she's wrong because she hates Lady Gaga haha (she is relatively misogynistic and I don't use that term lightly.) She's always hating on or starting fights with women. It's popular to hate on Lady Gaga specifically though. Like Nina Hagen:

    "Lady Gaga is a pop prostitute, a satanic [BEEP] with her fascist and demonic secret signs! Her pop prostitution has more to do with bikini advertising than with warmth."

    I like some of Nina Hagen's music too. I think Lady Gaga gets way too much [BEEP] (less these days I guess because she's less visible,) and is actually quite talented musically.

    Camille Paglia didn't find her sexy lol (and that does seem to be a big reason she disliked her but I don't think she was really trying):

    "Drag queens, whom Gaga professes to admire, are usually far sexier in many of her over-the-top outfits than she is."
    Camille Paglia: 'Women should act more like drag queens'

    Camille Paglia: 'No not like that'

    Gaga isn't sexy at all ? she's like a gangly marionette or plasticised android.
    But tbh androids are hot. I was specifically seeking out robot erotica at one point lmfao.

    The critic also uses her essay to comment sweepingly on the millennial generation that apparently adores Gaga:

    Generation Gaga doesn't identify with powerful vocal styles because their own voices have atrophied: they communicate mutely via a constant stream of atomised, telegraphic text messages. Gaga?s flat affect doesn?t bother them because they?re not attuned to facial expressions.
    Well define powerful. I don't think I could be accused of that haha:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dWBLoU--E

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6uW7q8mFOs[

    [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRkc08_dR-0

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzR5jM9UeJA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZF5m-vmDzM

    Big fan.

    Jesus Paglia just go to a burlesque show and stfu lol. I'm actually genuinely confused how people refer to her as a lesbian though as well (to this day):

    It is much easier for women to live bisexually, since their erotic performance is not measured by the unforgiving yardstick of erection and ejaculation. (Vamps and Tramps, p. 79)

    I encourage bisexual experimentation, and i want a world in which people, throughout their lives, freely cross the gender lines in love. But it is absurd to say that one, two, or more homosexual liaisons make you "gay"--as if lavender ink ran in your veins. Young women are often attracted to each other during a transitional period when they are breaking away from their parents, expanding their worldviews, and developing their personalities. To identify these fruitful Sapphic idylls with a permanent condition of homosexuality is madness, and the campus counselors who encourage such premature conclusions should be condemned and banished. They are preying, for their own ideological purposes, on the young people at their most vulnerable. I want to cry out to these girls: Stop! Think! Continue to love women, but resolve your problems with men. (Same text, p. 82)

    Bisexuality is out best hope of escape from the animosities and false polarities of the current sex wars. Whether or not we can put it into practice, bisexuality is a great pagan ideal. (p. 94)

    The real revolution will come when we are free of the false dichotomy of gay/straight and when bisexual responsiveness is accepted as the universal norm. (p. 105)
    She's basically a bisexual supremacist lol... But I think she kind of idealises the cultural potential. I don't think bisexual people are at all more enlightened.

    I'm not going to suggest she attempt to find herself an idealised androgynous guy though because it really is like finding a needle in a haystack. And that's why we're all 'asexual'

    But back to Nick Land:

    Victorious Third World struggles, so long as they have been successfully localized, do not lead to realistic post-capitalist achievements, and certainly not to post-patriarchal ones, since the conservation of the form of the nation state is itself enough to guarantee the reinsertion of a society into the system of inhibited synthesis. For as long as the dynamic of guerilla war just leads to new men at the top ? with all that this entails in terms of the communication between individuated sovereignties ? history will continue to look bleak. For it is only when the pervasive historical bond between masculinity and war is broken by effective feminist violence that it will become possible to envisage the uprooting of the patriarchal endogamies that orchestrate the contemporary world order. With the abolition of the inhibition of synthesis ? of Kantian thought ? a sordid cowardice will be washed away, and cowardice is the engine of greed. But the only conceivable end of Kantianism is the end of modernity, and to reach this we must foster new Amazons in our midst. (FN: 1039)
    Lol this fucking blog (Not Nick Land someone writing about him):

    Where is such revolutionary fire today? If anything Land speaks from within the flames of a darker hell, mounting an invasion from the other ends of time, siding with the intelligences of futurial amazons who have already dispensed with the uselessness of our current malaise and are even now in hot breath pangs arriving through the terminal portals of a future without bounds. A guerilla war from within time itself that displaces five thousand years of patriarchal endogamy and the rule of androcracies.
    Nobody who is aware of this guy's existence is remotely normal.

    A few months ago on twitter he liked a tweet I wrote about how mm... But I need to be vague lol. Unfortunately he didn't say anything just liked the tweet. My belief about why a certain violent act was carried out. Most people had very different takes on it. He wasn't in favour of that but it was mindless violence.

    This has nothing to do with that lol but I can see why trans women like poking him:

    Hasn't gay rights now between totally out-progged? [BEEP] goes much further than gay, and then trans obsolesces gay as reactionary gender essentialism. But trans is already looking old, as the next crawling horror prepares for its ascent to the peak of the progressive stack. ...
    The impulse is pure
    Sometimes our circuits get shorted
    By external interference

    Signals get crossed
    And the balance distorted
    By internal incoherence

    A tired mind become a shape-shifter
    Everybody need a mood lifter
    Everybody need reverse polarity

    Everybody got mixed feelings
    About the function and the form
    Everybody got to deviate
    From the norm

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