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  1. #1
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    Is it time to go back to CBT?

    Hello all. Long time sufferer of panic disorder. I hope everyone is doing well.

    Back in 2000 I had minor spells of dizziness and heart palpitations that would come in go very quickly. Over time they began to get worse and my doctor was stumped. He treated me for all sorts of things but not the actual problem. I was a young man in his 20s, what was going on?

    Back in 2007 I was hit with a panic attack so severe while at a party that I was placed in the emergency room. It was the first time I got a name to these terrible feelings of losing control and being unable to breathe or even see clearly or carry on with whatever I was doing. While I was treated for that attack I had no tools for working on future ones.

    I began to withdraw from the world. I had trouble in elevators, cramped spaces, going on planes, trains, standing in lines or being in crowded places. I began reading up on methods to treat my panic attacks and while there was some improvement, I needed more. Slowly I was able to get back into basic things in life but I never really felt like the old me. It was like I was held hostage by fear.

    It wasn't until 2010 that I was able to get into a program at one of the nearby universities where I received CBT. It worked wonders. I completed my treatment and felt great. I began to get the old me back with each year, slowly but surely. I stopped bringing an emergency Xanax or Klonopin pill with me everywhere I went and other safety items. It was truly wonderful to say the least.

    Now I'm pleased to say that I'm doing better than ever but I'm still not quite there. I do progressive muscle relaxation everyday along with diaphragmatic breathing which helpes greatly with my hyperventilation issues. But still, there are moments that I still can't do like I use to.

    By trade I'm a working actor (not famous or anything, I just do all I can in small projects) and while I can get by, I'm not in the form I use to be. Years ago I was able to audition and perform without the slightest trace of nerves. I was fearless.

    So I am debating weather or not I should going back to CBT. It is expensive and money is not growing on trees. I wonder if I need to go back for one last push to get me over the hump. Also I wonder if it is common or normal to check back into CBT after already successfully completing a treatment. I don't want to become dependent on going to therapy all the time. I feel the true healing comes by also you slaying the dragon on your own. But I do feel like I'm missing something. I'm almost at the finish line but can't quite find it. I'm so near yet so far.

    Anyway looking forward to interacting with you all and wishing all of you the best with this battle.


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  2. #2
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    Even when things seem 100% better, they may still be "dips". It may feel like you're relapsing, and it may seem hard and that you're going backwards. Recovery is never smooth. It's hard, and it's full of ups and downs. It can feel so hard to get there, that sometimes, instead of concentrating on how far we've come, we just get frustrated at how far we have to go.

    I don't know if going to CBT twice will help or not. I really don't though. I just thought I'd say that to you. And if you have a bad day and things seem to be getting bad again...cut yourself some slack. Chances are, it doesn't mean that full-on return of anxiety.
    I'M GONNA FIGHT 'EM ALL
    A SEVEN NATION ARMY COULDN'T HOLD ME BACK.......


  3. #3
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    Quote Otherside View Post
    Even when things seem 100% better, they may still be "dips". It may feel like you're relapsing, and it may seem hard and that you're going backwards. Recovery is never smooth. It's hard, and it's full of ups and downs. It can feel so hard to get there, that sometimes, instead of concentrating on how far we've come, we just get frustrated at how far we have to go.

    I don't know if going to CBT twice will help or not. I really don't though. I just thought I'd say that to you. And if you have a bad day and things seem to be getting bad again...cut yourself some slack. Chances are, it doesn't mean that full-on return of anxiety.
    Thanks, much appreciated.

    I beed to remind myself more of how far I've come and that I'm much better than I ever was, i don't do this enough which may be why the dips feel like a relapse. If I were to really sit down and think about it, the dips are nothing compared to the days when I would have rolling panic attacks for the entire day. One would just lead to the next. It was awful.

    When I have minor bouts of panic now I really beat myself up and my brain thinks the worst. Like I'm going back to square one. I also still have to fight not monitoring how I feel all the time and just give myself the freedom to just be. I will sometimes check my breathing, heart and everything else as I'm out and about wondering if some random thing I felt was the start of an attack. I need to shake that off. It's hard though.


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