Dr. Peterson, I've lately started looking for a serious partner, want to establish a committed relationship with a person I trust and love, but have come to a challenge. I'm a bisexual man, mainly dating men, and most people I meet seem to be in some sort of polygamous or polyamorous relationships. I'm a monogamous person, it turns my stomach to think my significant other having intimate relationships with someone else (with or without my presence.
The problem is that whenever I try to explain this to someone I meet, saying that I'm not into "sharing", so to speak, they always seem to have a better argument of why it's rational and why we shouldn't restrict ourselves whenever we want to have something. I'm an intelligent person, but this topic is very hard for me to conceptualize, as to why should someone say no to their desires.
I cannot speak of the family, as it's too early in dating so it doesn't make sense at such an early stage. I tried talking about trust, but it's disregarded as the other person would say I look down on people and that's the reason I can't trust them or that I have trust issues. There's the argument that I don't want to be with someone else, but I can't say this in full honesty, because there have been times whilst being in a relatuonship, that I've been drawn to someone else sexually. They [my argument opponents] would say - if you have the desire that's basically cheating, so you shouldn't tell yourself no.
I still feel like it's not right for me, that's not how it should be in my relatuonships. But not having it properly conceptualized makes me feel like a dinosaur in these sorts of arguments.
P.S. - I talked with my psychoanalyst about this and she disagrees with the notion that people can be happy in polyamorous relationships, however, I'm not entirely convinced that NOBODY can be happy in these sort of relationships. I've met people with years on their belt in such relationships and this makes it specifically hard to argue through.
Could you please shed some light into this argument?
Huge fan, thanks in advance!