Random Thought of the Day

[Doseone]

Because I was talking about how (at least conceptually,) reincarnation seemed in a way a worse threat than hell because although the Christian hell is really bad like eternal pain it's vague but the horrors of like nature and certain insects especially their lives are really horrifying. Like all the parasitic creatures and fungi that prey on insects etc.

The eternal conscious torment version of hell is the worst imo. That is the main reason why I stopped believing. A good/loving God wouldn't create a hell like that. There are other interpretations, like annihilationism and universalism that make more sense. I think a popular view of hell in evangelical Christianity is "separation from God" whatever that means. I personally think hell was made up to keep people in line before we had a proper judicial system.

But yeah, reincarnation can be quite scary. My beliefs (advaita vedanta) are that we actually have been everything, are everything and will be everything including all conscious beings. So we are (as consciousness) all of the animals suffering right now. I think we'll remember all of these lives eventually. We're in temporary ignorance right now, giving the illusion of separation. We're essentially simulating reality through different bodies and minds. I know it sounds crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. lol.

Speaking of hell, today is Thanksgiving. I just know I'm going to embarrass myself somehow.

[Nyctophilia]

The eternal conscious torment version of hell is the worst imo. That is the main reason why I stopped believing. A good/loving God wouldn't create a hell like that. There are other interpretations, like annihilationism and universalism that make more sense. I think a popular view of hell in evangelical Christianity is "separation from God" whatever that means. I personally think hell was made up to keep people in line before we had a proper judicial system.

But yeah, reincarnation can be quite scary. My beliefs (advaita vedanta) are that we actually have been everything, are everything and will be everything including all conscious beings. So we are (as consciousness) all of the animals suffering right now. I think we'll remember all of these lives eventually. We're in temporary ignorance right now, giving the illusion of separation. We're essentially simulating reality through different bodies and minds. I know it sounds crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. lol.

Speaking of hell, today is Thanksgiving. I just know I'm going to embarrass myself somehow.

Yeah hell is definitely a very messed up concept and not a great thing to teach kids. In Christianity there are so many rules, most people don't follow a bunch of them (so clearly they don't really take it seriously they pick and choose,) and then supposedly God is forgiving? But in a way that always seemed arbitrary to me. So you don't really know what he'll forgive and what he won't. But he'll only forgive things when you're alive after that it's just eternal punishment with no possibility of redemption or learning lol? Yeah not really my cup of tea as a belief system.

It seems some Christians view hell as a more metaphorical mind state though rather than a place you go when you die. Jordan Peterson seems to do that, but I think that's fairly idiosyncratic and not how most Christians think.

But yeah now and then I think about what it would be like to be eg: one of those snails where parasitic worms invade their eyestalks and then make the snail appear like a caterpillar, and then 'mindcontrols' the snail to go out into the open so they get eaten by a bird so they can breed in the bird's gut. There are creatures that have fucked up life cycles like that. I prefer being Human despite all the issues.

Humans have an insane amount of control over the planet and can only communicate (with minimal exceptions,) with other Humans so it's useful. Also I think being less self aware or thinking in very different ways freaks me out a bit? What would I do if I couldn't neurotically worry about everything and get annoyed at social media posts lol? Obviously I wouldn't know any different though if I was in that situation. I always thought if I could shapeshift I would be reluctant to transform into various animals especially insects though, as I'd be worried about getting stuck that way (I think this occured to me because of reading the book Equal Rites as a kid although it involved an eagle.) I haven't seen any of The Fly films but the concept when reading the plot freaked me out. I'm not freaked out by all hybrid stuff though I feel like spider-Human hybrids are aesthetically cool sometimes if they're more Human like psychologically like Mordred from The Dark Tower series (which I haven't read either lol just know about the character.) Also 80%-90% Human 20% cat is a cute combination. (I dunno but subtle cat traits but mostly Human.)

But yeah lots of parasites will alter animal's behaviours like toxoplasma gondii:

T. gondii-infected rats have a decreased aversion to cat urine while infection in mice lowers general anxiety, increases explorative behaviors and increases a loss of aversion to predators in general.[7][10] Because cats are one of the only hosts within which T. gondii can sexually reproduce, such behavioral manipulations are thought to be evolutionary adaptations that increase the parasite's reproductive success since rodents that do not avoid cat habitations will more likely become cat prey.

This can affect Humans too but apparently the evidence is mixed as to whether it actually causes mental health issues or makes Humans like cats more. Some research also showed a correlation between that and starting a business and just lower risk aversion so higher rates of suicide and car accidents, but then there's research that suggests it doesn't really have an effect on Human behaviour. I think it's subtle anyway. People probably assume most mentally ill women who adopt cats are influenced by this but I don't think that's necessarily true since mentally ill people often look for substitutes for Human interaction and relationships and use all kinds of things could be cats, drugs, video games etc.

It's not as big of a deal though since we're pretty far up the food chain and cats aren't Human predators. Sometimes they'll eat you when you're already dead lol. Since adult cats still meow like kittens to get attention from Humans mostly, and also look really neotenous, I think it would be difficult to separate when Humans just like cats because they're cute and baby-like vs because of the parasite as well.

Most of these sorts of parasites evolve to manipulate the prey of the animals they reproduce in. There are worse parasites that Humans have to deal with involving eyes.

So I always thought if a God existed they would have to be very sadistic (this planet is insane,) or completely lacking in control and apathetic. Or they're apathetic and testing certain things (like a simulation or some kind of experiment.) Certainly not loving or empathetic in a Human sense.

But yeah I don't really have any strong beliefs about this myself besides thinking some things seem unlikely. I was always less interested in whether specific Gods were real though as whether I agreed with them lol. Like I wouldn't worship the Christian God because I don't like those rules.

We don't celebrate thanksgiving here in the UK but I find family gatherings really anxiety inducing too. Luckily I don't have to see most of my extended family now just my immediate family + my grandma at Christmas (plus on occasion at other times if I'm helping my mum with something.) I usually visit her with my mum and have managed to avoid most of my cousins + aunts and uncles (her family is pretty large, some of my cousins also have kids now,) over the last several years. Also managed to avoid other family on my dad's side (and some of them live on the other side of the country so I've only seen them a few times in my life anyway.) I guess it's kind of sad though and I was really close to one of my cousins as a kid, but my anxiety is worse around extended family members now than it is complete strangers. I also feel like they want to know more about my life which I don't want to talk about now as I'm a failure basically. I guess one of her brother's is similar to me and my brother though and also quite avoidant so he'd get it.

[Nyctophilia]

I think this is probably in the top 50 albums of the 2010s (not that I listen to lots of albums these days because I don't tend to buy albums unless it's a musician I really like):



My personal criteria isn't based on sales obviously. I don't find that an interesting criteria.

Going to try and make a 2010s playlist on YouTube over time. In general not as big a fan of music I heard then so should be interesting.

Going to probably be 50% electronic musicians who don't even have wikipedia articles lol. Fame was more spread out during that and the current decade. Lots of people wandering around with YouTube channels with several thousand followers, not many people getting into mainstream news articles or meeting criteria of wikipedia articles (shoeonhead has like over a million subscribers and has been mentioned by like Matt Walsh might meet criteria now? Not sure but still no wikipedia article lol. Unlike most other YouTubers in her genre + level of fame. So you get stuff like that happening a lot. Oh wait she finally has one nevermind, must be very recent.)

Still thinking about that Crywank tweet too lol:

This year I've had about five music journalists reach out wanting to cover Crywank only to reach out shortly afterwards to apologise because their editor told them no 👻

I dunno if that's true or not but LOL.

[Nyctophilia]

How much do they need to zoom in on her face lol?

That lady is so weird asking a kid if they have a boyfriend.

She was 18 and I don't know if they would now (because it forces people to out themselves,) maybe they still would but I think they'd think about it more now. They used to back in the 90s. Reminds me of this lol I was watching a few months ago:



It's awkward to watch because she obviously wasn't out then and was talking about a scene she had to play where she's kissing Drew Barrymore. They ask so many personal questions like when she says her friends are mostly guys she wants to know why (because there has to be a reason lol,) and then later asks if she has a boyfriend then asks her if it's hard to meet boys.



I wonder if he's wearing contacts his eyes look purple.



I think some of these greentext stories are kind of sus and made up because lots of people lie on 4chan especially about these kind of controversial topics, but on the other hand Discord servers can be insane especially any that are related to heterodox beliefs as they can and often do attract psychopaths, so there are probably people doing this. I talked to many controversial people and sometimes fucked up people in my time in discord servers including a guy who started a movement trying to get incels to transition (He got banned from those later I think.) He had tons of alt accounts too on reddit etc. He became so infamous that there's an incel wiki page about him. I don't think he was trying to blackmail people, but he was definitely trying to convince people. I think he either created or popularised the term 'transmaxxing.' That guy also had many other fucked up beliefs (you know I'm not even gonna quote the ones that have been listed on the wiki. You can imagine.) He was trying to form a religion or cult or something as well basically.

Also (not related to that guy but found this other guy while looking up his wiki page:

Fschmidt is a friend of caamib's who has been active on Incel.life, Reddit, and other forums. He is ethnically Jewish and has a Mexican wife. Like his friend Caamib, he rejects the Blackpill and claims that women don't care much about a potential mates looks, but seek out "evil morons", through a process of fisherian runaway selection that favors a female dysgenic preference for these traits in modern Western society as opposed to a supposed preference for beta and coalpha providers in third-world countries.

Think this might be the dumbest theory in that sphere I've seen yet. Half the guys that argue these things though do not believe or care about this topic. They come up with something they think they can trick some audience into believing that will hurt them the most. They also like to rope in minority groups who are demonised because it's edgy. Because they are sadistic and psychopathic.

His political views are those of an extreme reactionary without the focus on racial issues common to the so called alt-right. He supports an Islamic conquest of the west and the killing of "members of modern culture" and attends Islamic mosques to supposedly aid them in those goals.

He claims to have created a matchmaking service called Single Sushi that has helped at least two incels ascend by getting mail order brides, including "a former mod of r/incels". He had since discontinued the service, claiming it's a waste of time to help the new-wave incels, as they are morons.

Also it's a fetish many people have (I mean I get it because I have similar though not identical sexual interests obviously, as do a lot of people on tumblr,) so I could see some psychopaths doing this potentially. In general you should always be careful what you share with people online. Especially always assume that any photos you post could be used to blackmail you and don't share them if it's something you wouldn't want people to see. The really [BEEP] thing is like at one point on Discord I was in a server with a bunch of people some trans, some not, some people on hrt but not socially trans etc. And there was this guy who was incredibly autistic like really socially unaware but also really into anime femboys and being a femboy. He would just ask us questions about everything and very oblivious about a lot of stuff. He was obviously intelligent in his niche area because he'd started university years earlier than most people but just really socially unaware - had no concept of various social norms or who things would be perceived etc. Lots of people like that out there who would be very easy to manipulate unfortunately.

Reading about this on knowyourmeme:

Reiko's "Trap Harem" refers to a controversy surrounding allegations that an /r9k/ poster on 4chan associated with the Discord handle Reiko#3333 convinced various young men to take hormone therapy pills and become "traps". According to the allegations, Reiko forced several /r9k/ users into his "harem" by persuading them to share nude pictures of themselves after they had taken the hormone therapy pills to prove they were taking the drug. These were subsequently used to dox and blackmail the victims, although this was never confirmed.

Reiko's campaign dates back to at least March 13th, 2018. It involves spamming /r9k/ encouragement for the men on the board to begin taking hormone therapy and become traps to relieve their sexual frustration, along with a link to a Discord chat run by Reiko and others, which he also encourages the users to join. A thread on /r/drama[1] links to several screenshots[2] of messages from the Discord in which Reiko brags about convincing users to consider hormone therapy and getting users to join his Discord (examples shown below).

The plot led mods of the board to ban trap posting, but Reiko and others found a way to circumvent the ban.[3] On April 7th, YouTuber Esoteric Poster 1388 posted a video outlining the developing drama, gaining over 22,000 views (shown below).

I'm sure this prob came up when I was on Discord cause it happened when I was in a bunch of servers with femboys and trans people who were familiar with 4chan, but don't remember now. As I say there have been multiple people doing this kind of thing.

Edit: So I had a look and I can't find any mention of his name in any discord I was in (though I was in one other briefly out of morbid curiosity I think, which I left,) which is weird because I vaguely recognise his profile pic like from screenshots or something? But maybe I stumbled on them elsewhere or someone might have spoken about that without using his name in text I dunno now. I was only aware of the other guy though because he actually came into at least one maybe two servers I was in. I dunno if he was banned multiple times or what I thought he was banned while I was there but I stopped posting entirely in early 2020 and looks like he was banned in 2021 so maybe he came back and got banned again. He must have had multiple accounts or something cause if I search that name there's only like a link he posted to some manifesto and then the guy whose server that was just responding straight after 'banned' with 5 thumbs up LOL. Maybe it was the other related server he was banned from though. I can see discussion about him being banned there before. The moderation in the other server was much more lax but not infinitely so.

Yeah the thing where they're talking about how they're going to 'save everyone from being virgins' by converting them, they're basically just trying to justify what they're doing amongst themselves and that one person Haruka is obviously annoyed that they couldn't transition young and are now trying to live vicariously through this fantasy where 60% of men will just transition at young ages and pass because they can't. Then they start talking about how they could get /pol/ users to transition as well over time. I completely understand where these grandiose fantasies come from and then when you're online on most websites like 4chan and twitter there's a level of empathy that's removed even relative to say forums, but you have to have some self control.

Also I like how Haruka is trying to create all these supposed ethical reasons for what they're doing and Reiko is just like 'nah man it's just my ultimate sexual fantasy to lock a cute boy up in my basement and turn him into my girlfriend you get me?'

Oh my God the guy who thinks he's a wizard. It's just like a even more fucked up version of the early 2000s [BEEP] afab fanfic circle cults (for lack of a better description,) and you know it could be. We don't really know their real gender/sex because it's all anonymous and it is basically what tumblrites and prob some tiktok users now spend most of their time doing albeit usually with famous guys and fictional characters. There are varying degrees of it like the mild end is the babygirlification thing. But I know some guys are into this too I've spoken to some people who were definitely guys plus it feels subtly different. Edit: Also seems like that reiko guy was in an interview with his voice talking at one point.

I should probably have watched the whole video before posting this but yeah seems there was some 'rich neet girl' funding them who had lots of money in crypto. From the video:

"On the one hand I'm thrilled that no everyone has access to money when this is what this sick freak did with her cash as opposed to literally anything else. However I also have to appreciate the James Bond villain endeavour she undertook to finance trolling on an industrial scale."

This might be a lie too.

I just noticed he's using Death Note music in the background of his video lol (or music that strongly resembles it.) Of course. A lot of these people have Light Yagami vibes.

Imagine explaining any of this to somebody alive in 1890.

Oh well they knew about that. Or some did. Nothing new under the sun and all that. There was a book:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monsieur_V%C3%A9nus

Noblewoman Raoule de Venerande becomes bored with her life and her usual suitors. She begins a relationship with an underprivileged florist named Jacques Silvert, paying him for his favors. Through a process of escalating humiliation, she transforms her lover from a weakly androgynous figure into a feminized one.

^ and it gets more fucked up than that but spoilers.

Rachilde was often flexible with biographical information; her account of writing Monsieur V?nus is no exception. According to Maurice Barr?s, she wrote the book when she was still a virgin, not yet twenty years old (that is, before 1880). Rachilde variously reported writing it while in hysterical paralysis after the poet Catulle Mend?s rejected her amorous overtures; writing it as catharsis for memories of her mother's abuse of her father; and writing it simply to create a scandal and make a name for herself.[3][4]

Whatever the circumstances in which it was written, the book was first released in 1884 by Belgian publisher Auguste Brancart with the dedication, "We dedicate this book to physical beauty," and a warning that any woman might secretly harbor the same desires as the depraved heroine of Monsieur Venus. As was common at the time, the novel was serialized prior to its publication in one volume.[5][4]

It's just the author had to leave the country to avoid prosecution I think yeah:

The Belgian authorities were aggressive in pursuing legal action against Monsieur Venus. A trial was held on charges of pornography. The author of the book was found guilty in absentia; the court ordered fines and two years of prison time. Belgian officials confiscated and destroyed every copy of the book they could find. While there is little question that the book qualified as obscene under existing statutes, Brancart the publisher was already on their radar for a number of reasons, a situation that likely contributed to the speed and thoroughness of their response. For her part, Rachilde simply avoided returning to Belgium and thereby escaped her sentence. French authorities began to monitor her, however, so Brancart hid most of her personal copies of the book, though no further legal action was taken against her.[2][4]

ironically enough the 1890s were a decade referred to as the Age of Decadence in which a principle fear was the emasculation of men. Subsequently a lot of horror stories such as Dracula tended to revolve around men finding themselves in the place of damsels. That said, stuff has change so much this video is basically the equivalent of horror to us now.

Yeah exactly.

Damn they really turned their fetish into an ideology 💀

that just describes the entirety of modern political discourse desu

Obviously lol. They went a bit further than some people are willing to and were weirder about it but most of the culture war fighting between left and right on social media can be summed up in this video:



Oh yeah and of course he then contacted him after he made that video so there's now another interview with the Reiko guy but prob can't trust anything:

[video - removed cause ultimately he wants attention lol.]

Wtf lol. There's some woman as well who joined their conversation I think she said she's trans I dunno. This is such a weird conversation. Reiko is now claiming he's engaged to an Albanian woman 'with an actual [BEEP]' and is not into the 'trap' stuff sexually but was annoyed at r9k becoming more incel over time and wanted to troll the board.

This is so surreal to listen to. Usually Internet personalities like this never want to casually chat about what they've done

It is but a lot do will do this actually and I've heard other strange internet figures do this sort of thing before, since they tend to be narcissistic.

It's ironic Reiko hates egocentric people while completely fitting the definition. I wonder if he realizes

Yes lol.

This guy is really unpleasant to listen to like an obvious psychopath/narcissist and trying to make out he's better than other people who he sees as beneath him. I'm glad people who he refers to as 'normies' who post things he think are cringe and simping for women are apparently impersonating him and it's annoying him lol.

At the end of the video he's just basically bragging about his 'success' at doing what he did and how you can just troll in a community that is drawn to be outraged and sooner or later you'll attract actual predators or 'groomers' who will push your idea into reality. So telling people that it's a great 'blueprint.' Unfortunately he isn't wrong and that's also why horror fiction can be quite effective at doing something similar. Like when certain ideas become edgy you get the different tiers of 'dark personalities' who are drawn to it from like the kind of personality type who's just maybe into weird [BEEP] and is kind of alternative/goth to full blown psychopathic killers. Then things can spiral out of control. It makes it difficult especially online to manage people's sadistic impulses. People are also just assholes online.

Also he seems to think he's better because he's not into it sexually? 'I was just trolling. I'm not a real degenerate' yeah well I am and I'm looking down on you right now.

"Lol I'm not a sexual sadist. My enjoyment is just narcissism and pure childlike sadistic enjoyment at pissing people off."

Gtfo out of here lol.

Sociopathy and autism in one package.

With internalised homophobia sprinkled in

I can't really imagine going through the effort of like creating detailed sexual fantasies like he did when you're not even into it. It's like the raceplay accounts that follow far right people around to bait them on twitter. They're obviously into it sexually. Well now I don't know maybe they're not but they post so much porn on their account. And I understand the impulse to troll people who are bigoted as well because I've had that but like when I think about doing it - like the way F1nn responded to Andrew Tate this:



And I try not to go insane with it that's mostly why I post my random thoughts here. I'm sure I've tweeted some bs before though. Also generally enjoy the Chinese governments overreaction to anything involving danmei comics and kpop guys and anything that's like 'male feminisation' I mean it's bad but it shows you have power over them so you're kind of winning. And just because Western bigots are always like 'this doesn't happen anywhere else' uh yeah it does. But yeah it's always at least tangentially related to my own preferences/interests. It's not just arbitrary trolling.

'Oh yeah I want a cute boy to lock up in my basement and turn into my girlfriend [long detailed fantasy he wrote this is a summary]' #nohomo I'm so clever.

OK. If you say so.

You can also tell he doesn't have any self awareness at all. This personality type is most of what's wrong with the internet.

Also lol yeah this is how my YouTube suggestions work right now. Start off with Jodie Foster lesbian video end up with 4chan femboy blackmail cult documentary. Actually haven't watched most of it so prob shouldn't have embedded it. (finished now lol.)

Also the greentext story where someone is claiming to be 11 and talking about their sister I hope that's some memory from the past because the thought of 11 year olds on 4chan while prob true (I got online when I was 11 not 4chan though obviously,) is horrifying really. It's such a black hole overall. The reiko guy also apparently started browsing 4chan when he was 10.

[Nyctophilia]

Just stumbled on this again lol. I prefer the music in the version that's uploaded on twitter but could only find this version on YouTube:



https://twitter.com/Vid_Vortex/statu...65158617530430

The body language for the millennial one (well 1990 one,) is so on point with the eyes and everything.

Also yeah he looks like Bender from The Breakfast Club.

Lol if you're going to post photos claiming they're from the Dublin riots on twitter you might want to, you know, make sure they don't have an NYPD vehicle in the fucking photo lol:

awful, just awful, this is NOT the city i grew up in, get these fascists off our streets #DublinRiots

You're right that's not even the country you grew up in.

So I'm guessing this is just going to increasingly be the norm on both sides now. At least right wingers will have to stop pretending they're above riots now + white nationalists who try to claim that's just something black people do.

[Nyctophilia]

We should all aspire to be more like Jason.

Straight up, honest truth he spoke there. World needs a LOT more of it.

This response was psychopathic. It worries me that many people responding don't see that and no the world doesn't need more of that.

Sad to see people in the replies acting like the guy is some kind of based chad or whatever, she seemed really nice, if you weren't attracted just unmatch or ghost, that's all

I'm guessing most of the followers on that account are misogynists and psychopaths, perhaps both occasionally too. Many such cases.

It’s like you idiots forgot she's on tinder. Yes he’s rude but who gives a shit. Women do this all the time to guys on dating apps and no one cares, some men find this funny because it’s ironic. Demonise going on tinder in the first place and [BEEP] like this won’t happen.

Well I've never used it, so I have no idea if psychopathy is the norm there or not. Would explain a lot. Still psychopathy though. Still not healthy.

He didn’t swipe on accident
He did it so he could say that

I think so yeah.



You know I've never had intercourse with anyone and I read the responses to this on that twitter page and just think 'I'm so glad I never will' haha.

I didn't need more reasons guys. It was already just a turn off and something I didn't like the idea of.

(Before I even read the following comment lol.)

LOL, not according to new research that shows each seminal contact is stored by the womens body genetically somehow and it changes their brain chemistry.

What did I just say?



Guys on twitter are really good at being unattractive. They should win awards.

A key that opens many locks is a valuable key.
A lock that opens to any key is worthless.

The average key in this scenario is a chauvinistic, misogynistic sexual predator and that's backed up by research. So I'll take the lock that opens to any key over the key that opens many locks so to speak. They have more desirable personalities on average.

I'm going to let everyone I see doing this know they're trash from now on lol. Not just so they know they're trash but so other people see as well and stop fucking them ideally. More people need to talk specifically about how fuckboys are psychopaths and how their personalities are worse than sociosexually unrestricted women.

You should have listened to BAP but you didn't and now you'll all pay.



BAP quotes:

In the end, agitation over sexual morality is an entry-point for morons, moralistic spinsters, and purity-spiraling closet cases who seek to demonize and control male sexual instinct more than femael.

You know how PR of modern state fools you? You think we live in hedonistic 1960's (?) orgy but reality is asexuality, onanism, anxiety and calculation. Our situation is OBSCURE: similar to strange times of past, like "oligandria" in ancient Greece...

Pretty gril will start sex0rz at 16 or earlier 14 or etc; leaves home at 18. If not married then by 28, if you count ten guys per year that's well over 100; that’s less than one per month. Not quite orgies in public bathrooms behavior. Even one every two weeks, what's so strange?

Note for pedants: this isn't an endorsement or to excuse their own rationalizations but you’re fooling yourself if think getting that high a number is very difficult or something a normal pretty gril, who gets hit on by Chads nonstop, would have to be aberrant to do.

Some claim I'm not aware of "evolutionary biology" and I apparently don't know that femaels are by nature "designed" to be less promiscuous than males. So then my model for how pedestrian a high body count is for a woman is wrong because I didn't know this great secret. False:

First of all you're wrong that "evolutionary biology" has revealed such a nature for women. The studies--which I and my frends probably posted on forums in 2010-11, and which you probably didn't read--are contradictory and based on unreliable evidence like self-reported surveys.

It's true that femael biology is constrained by the fact of pregnancy, and that the formula "sperm are cheap, eggs are expensive" makes some basic sense. But it's not a given that women's desires are optimized to work in this rational economic calculation

[...]

It was in fact HARSH human law and not evolution that led to the coming of monogamy, and that law was directed as much to the women as the men, or sometimes more so. Monogamy is relatively rare among mankind. It may well be the best system, but it's not guaranteed by "evolution"

Second you are wrong on men's desires. Men don't want sex once or less than once a month, or even every two weeks. When they can they would like it every day or at least a few times a week. In fact one wife isn't enough for a vigorous, healthy man.

The fact that one wife isn't enough to satisfy a virile and healthy man is also why monogamous societies have always allowed themselves the hypocrisy of prostitution. As Schopenhauer says in these passages, polygamy always exists anyway, whether you like it or no

^ these numbers are completely off. But yeah he wants to have lots of casual sex (at least in theory, he's also gotten off to male statues and has to invent weird stories about cities burning etc while having sex with women to distract himself from the 'too-biological and otherwise vile matter-of-fact act of copulation,' so a lot of what he says might be based on himself) and he's well educated:

Alamariu was born in Romania in 1980 and immigrated to the U.S. with his family at the age of 10.[4] He attended Newton South High School near Boston, majored in mathematics at MIT, and studied philosophy as a graduate student at Columbia University.[4] He graduated with a Ph.D. in political science at Yale, with a 2015 dissertation titled "The Problem of Tyranny and Philosophy in the Thought of Plato and Nietzsche".[4] At the universities he attended, he was active in criticizing the perceived left-wing bias of academia.[4]

so evidently not entirely retarded and isn't fighting against his own interests (again in theory) haha.

I don’t believe that men are complaining about sex being too widely available; no historical precedent. I also don’t believe women are defending female promiscuity when historically and by nature limiting the supply of sex is the primary interest of the femael cartel.

This fake debate about body count is being carried out based on false premises on both sides. "It’s really about something else"

^ he's so confused lol bless. It's not rocket science either. You already answered this before:

In the end, agitation over sexual morality is an entry-point for morons, moralistic spinsters, and purity-spiraling closet cases who seek to demonize and control male sexual instinct more than femael.

1. Straight guys have different long term vs short term preferences so they insult promiscuous women either when they want to settle down or when they can't get casual sex. You might realise/remember the importance of this point more if you weren't getting off to male statues, posting photos of men on twitter, 'men are the more aesthetic sex' thinking about setting fire to cities and other stuff that honestly sounds like gay autoandrophilia while having sex with women, and *checks notes* closet case. Possibly not but have to realise the irony.



2. Some people don't like hypocrites so they attack promiscuous men

3. it turns out research and social media showed the promiscuous men are often sexist and have weird conservative views about women and are kind of rape-y so none of that's going to be tolerated but it's really cute that they delusionally seem to think they can get away with acting like the worst people ever and not ultimately be destroyed and lose access to easy sex lol.

Sucks to be them and I barely gave a [BEEP] until they became so fucking annoying honestly.

This is part of why I said. You may find femael with low body count. But this maybe because she's a frigid harridan, or uses sex in a calculating and utilitarian way. I don't like femoid rationalization hamster. But hot gril who isn't frigid will have racked up a number of Chads

By contrast if a gril doesn't enjoy sex0rz, is much worse. She can ruin your life. I know at least 3-4 smart men whose lives are basically ruined or made very difficult because of such wife, and has nothing to do with promiscuity. This too can end in bad divorce, or worse.

In general the concern over femael body count obscures dangers that are far more frequent, and worse. Online, they can send a pinko "trad wife" or dysfunctional virgin virago, and by touching on this or similar emotional point, can manipulate men into self-doxing or worse.

In real life, they are masters at deception and emotional manipulation, and on this one point can deceive as well as endlessly trigger many things if they perceive sensitivity on it. And again, a far more frequent danger is the frigid harridan and calculating monster.

I wish but really I just never wanted to have sex with anyone, it didn't give me superpowers.

My machinations lay undetected for years, for I'm a master of deception:



Also regarding the bolded this is a guy with a Ph.D. from Yale and he majored in mathematics at MIT.

What even is America?

The femynysts on here who defend "high body count" aren't having any sexorz and it’s absurd when people mention Dworkin of all yentas in this context. The few among them who do have done so only mechanically out of principle, not out of either hope of romance or joy of lust

[Doseone]

So I always thought if a God existed they would have to be very sadistic (this planet is insane,) or completely lacking in control and apathetic. Or they're apathetic and testing certain things (like a simulation or some kind of experiment.) Certainly not loving or empathetic in a Human sense.

But yeah I don't really have any strong beliefs about this myself besides thinking some things seem unlikely. I was always less interested in whether specific Gods were real though as whether I agreed with them lol. Like I wouldn't worship the Christian God because I don't like those rules.

We don't celebrate thanksgiving here in the UK but I find family gatherings really anxiety inducing too. Luckily I don't have to see most of my extended family now just my immediate family + my grandma at Christmas (plus on occasion at other times if I'm helping my mum with something.) I usually visit her with my mum and have managed to avoid most of my cousins + aunts and uncles (her family is pretty large, some of my cousins also have kids now,) over the last several years. Also managed to avoid other family on my dad's side (and some of them live on the other side of the country so I've only seen them a few times in my life anyway.) I guess it's kind of sad though and I was really close to one of my cousins as a kid, but my anxiety is worse around extended family members now than it is complete strangers. I also feel like they want to know more about my life which I don't want to talk about now as I'm a failure basically. I guess one of her brother's is similar to me and my brother though and also quite avoidant so he'd get it.

The way I deal with that is that eternity would be very boring. So after a few trillion years of pure bliss, you start to wonder what it would be like to be an animal getting eaten alive. You/they would be gaining knowledge and there is value in that. And then we just say [BEEP] it and create fucked up universes for the lolz. I don't know. lol. I think you're right, this world doesn't seem like it was designed to be this way by a good being. Another thought I've had is that God/consciousness creates this world because the good outweighs the bad. Certain music only exists in this universe. Certain relationships only exist in this universe, etc. Maybe not every being is conscious and only those with good lives are. I have more thoughts, but that's the general idea. Maybe this world (it hasn't finished yet) is the best possible world.

Thanksgiving went okay. It was actually kind of cool to see my cousin after all these years. We used to be really close until we drifted apart in our teenage years. I had a lot of anxiety at first, because I had to meet my sister's boyfriend for the first time. I managed to hang out in my room for a while. My aunt also brought beer, so I drank a few making things easier. I'm still kind of lit. lol. But yeah, I get more anxious around family because you have to give an account for yourself. I'm pretty much a social failure. I managed to be in a meaningful relationship for 14 years where I was able to function in society, but I'm pretty much back to where I was before (no friends, no social skills, etc).

[Nyctophilia]

The way I deal with that is that eternity would be very boring. So after a few trillion years of pure bliss, you start to wonder what it would be like to be an animal getting eaten alive. You/they would be gaining knowledge and there is value in that. And then we just say [BEEP] it and create fucked up universes for the lolz. I don't know. lol. I think you're right, this world doesn't seem like it was designed to be this way by a good being. Another thought I've had is that God/consciousness creates this world because the good outweighs the bad. Certain music only exists in this universe. Certain relationships only exist in this universe, etc. Maybe not every being is conscious and only those with good lives are. I have more thoughts, but that's the general idea. Maybe this world (it hasn't finished yet) is the best possible world.

Thanksgiving went okay. It was actually kind of cool to see my cousin after all these years. We used to be really close until we drifted apart in our teenage years. I had a lot of anxiety at first, because I had to meet my sister's boyfriend for the first time. I managed to hang out in my room for a while. My aunt also brought beer, so I drank a few making things easier. I'm still kind of lit. lol. But yeah, I get more anxious around family because you have to give an account for yourself. I'm pretty much a social failure. I managed to be in a meaningful relationship for 14 years where I was able to function in society, but I'm pretty much back to where I was before (no friends, no social skills, etc).

Yeah I mean I don't think Earth is finished since evolution is an ongoing process, although I tend to think of that as being chaotic as well lol, and changes aren't always positive. But then I can only see things from my own subjective perspective as well so I'm applying my own morality to it. Like for a being that thinks pain and suffering is great, pain and suffering would be a positive thing. Like the cenobites lol.

That's good it went well. Sometimes I find I'm more anxious before doing things (although other times I'm more anxious during so it's a mixed bag for me lol.) I stopped dating when I was 20? That's when I broke up with my second ex. We're still friends though. 14 years is a long time. The longest relationship I've been in is only about 9 months? But it's hard to say when we were officially in a relationship vs dating. 7-9 months.

I was more functional when I was in relationships but that's more because I was at university at the time and so my life had a lot more structure (even then I wasn't super organised. I'm terrible at planning and motivating myself, might have undiagnosed ADHD it's a life long issue.) I almost met up with someone online when I was in my mid 20s but we didn't in the end and eventually stopped talking, and I think it's at least partly because we both weren't really happy with where our lives were at. I always felt like I should fix the other parts of my life before trying to date again but then I never really managed to do that, and also don't like the idea of modern dating now either with dating sites/apps etc but uh I could write an essay about that lol so I'll just say that.

[Nyctophilia]

https://www.theguardian.com/film/201...mis-mel-gibson

It's ironic that the interviewer is constantly trying to push her into a politically female role, while criticising feminine expression.

Over the course of her 52-years-and-counting career, her roles have included a child prostitute, an FBI agent, a feral woman in the woods, a scientist who communicates with aliens, a mother searching for her missing child and, perhaps most notoriously, a woman whose husband can only communicate via a beaver puppet, so you can't really say there is a typical Jodie Foster role. There is, however, a typical Foster expression. Think of Foster on screen and it's likely that you picture her staring furiously ahead, her lips thin, every nerve radiating rigid control. And given Foster's own life, that seems apt.

"Being in your 50s [Foster is 55] is a transitional period for actors - you're not old enough to play the old characters and not young enough to play the young ones, so I felt like, OK, this is my time to direct" she says.

Doesn't she find that frustrating? Actors don't go through that transition, only actresses. "Mmm, I don't know if that's not the case with men," she says. Really? "It's just what happens it's normal. There are just not that many roles for this age. But I anticipated it and I feel like I made hay in my younger years and I can express myself by directing. But once in a while something original comes along that isn't just another franchise," she says.

Hollywood has long had a horror of women not looking sexy on screen, yet in her career Foster has never worn a slinky dress for no reason or done an action movie in absurdly high heels. Her most famous movie outfit is probably the brown blazer, jeans and belt she wore in The Silence of the Lambs. Hotel Artemis inadvertently emphasises how rare this is for a female actor, because while Foster is running through the hotel?s corridors with her grey hair and fake wrinkles, the only other actress in the movie, Sofia Boutella, is, for no obvious reason, wearing a skimpy ballgown and minxy makeup. Doesn't that kind of nonsense bug Foster?

If you're a female criminal then dressing in a feminine way to manipulate people makes logical sense. It gives you an advantage that the majority of men don't have.

It's also more what roles people are willing to do, how assertive they are when negotiating things, and how flexible and intelligent they come across I think. Like Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton have a lot of different roles which aren't all stereotypical. So it's not impossible but it depends on your personality. Like Aubrey just convinced someone to let her play a male character lol:



I watched the first season of this (or most of it? Can't remember how much,) didn't finish the show. It was pretty good though but I stop watching almost anything. It sounds like a fun character to play though:

"No, no, I think Sofia's dress is part of her character," she says. She's playing an international assassin! "Well, in the original script she was at an art event beforehand, so there was a reason for it," she says, still determinedly not taking a stance. But come on: you've never worn anything like that in any of your films. "No, but Sofia?s career and mine are very different. She came up in the fantasy realm, whereas mine was a bit more grounded in reality. So there are different references," she says.

Foster famously avoids making political statements and repeatedly during our chat she slips away from any potentially controversial comments like a cat in the night. When I ask how it has been living in the US under Trump, she says, "We're living in a very strange time globally," which is certainly true, but not exactly a response. I ask if the #MeToo movement ? which, in many ways, The Accused anticipated more than 30 years ago ? has changed Hollywood. "There has been a new consciousness. It will be interesting to look back on this time historically," she replies. Whoa there, Jodie, coming on pretty strong, ain'tcha?

Clearly, Foster has opinions, but her lifelong refusal to share them is another sign of her self-control. As she said at the Golden Globes, she will not play the celebrity game of doing what's expected of her if she doesn't want to. Unexpected proof of that has been her friendship with Mel Gibson, and her casting of him in The Beaver, which she directed, long after he became persona non grata in Hollywood after multiple racism, antisemitism and sexism scandals.

Yes that kind of answers the question.

If they don't want to play stereotypically feminine characters, don't play those characters. So I was wondering while reading if they were going to address this...



Haha (The Guardian is not impressed with your comment Mark):

This is still a fun movie even if you don't like gangster flicks, great work by the costume and set designers, definitely captured that speakeasy vibe. Jodie Foster absolutely nails it playing a floozy chanteuse, a shame she never got to play a more mature version of this character, she would have been great as she had the attitude and the body language down pat. I would have loved to have seen her do the kind of roles Joan Blondell did so well back in the 1930s too as she had the comic chops for it. Does anyone else agree with me? Thanks for making this clip available.

It is impressive though because that's not natural for her:

Actually, in the "Bugsy Malone: After they were famous" documentary, Jodie Foster says that she was a tomboy during her childhood so learning the choreography of Tallulah took ages

And it would work in reverse too. If someone is a really good actor I think they should be able to do that because that proves they can act lol. Being good at acting means you can play very different roles that aren't similar to yourself.

Like Stephanie Beatriz is amazing at that:





But not everyone is and a lot of people just play the same character repeatedly or some variant of themselves. I like reading people's comments when they realise Stephanie is completely different from Rosa lol it's funny.

So they mention it later:

Her talent was immediately apparent, most obviously as the child prostitute in Taxi Driver, for which she got her first Oscar nomination. Robert De Niro was so struck by her skill that he took her under his wing during filming; she credits him with teaching her about the "craft of acting".

She almost never played the kind of cutesy roles associated with child actors. Instead, she took on tough characters: the singer and moll in Bugsy Malone; the mysterious loner in The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane.

Yeah I mean it's a weird musical because it's basically a bunch of kids playing adults lol. I haven't seen that since I was in secondary school (like 11/12 or something.) I guess because my school had a performance of that and then I watched it at some point around that time probably.

After studying at Yale, where she was stalked first by John Hinckley Jr, who tried to assassinate President Reagan, and then by Edward Richardson, who said Hinckley ordered him in a dream to finish what he started, she continued in this vein in adulthood.

Such an insane life lol. Like imagine this happening with two guys? And in such a short space of time. What are the odds? I think some people just attract unstable people.

I guess I had issues with two guys who have a certain personality type but like a different unstable personality type not psychotic specifically, but it makes sense because I'm also mentally ill lol. I just remember in uni when I broke up with my ex this woman I knew was commenting on how weird it was that these guys kept getting really unstable (my ex after I broke up with him, and another guy who I just went on a date with,) but you know in those cases alcohol was also involved (which never helps.) I think it also happens if you seem closed off or distant and have an avoidant attachment style because I was trying to figure out my sexuality then too.

And then also online later. I also attracted multiple girls/women with a similar psychopathic personality type offline and on but nope. I will avoid trauma dumping this time lol. I've had some really negative experiences with people honestly. I feel like it's not so weird in my case. I come from a working class town so that means there are more people with negative personality traits and I'm also mentally ill and have problematic personality traits + I'm not assertive irl (I am online which created different issues like getting into trouble with mods while trying to defend myself over and over again.) So it makes sense. I've also had some positive interactions with people too though.

She seems very different and assertive so it's interesting that she's also had these experiences and she was also in uni when that happened.

But yeah luckily I haven't been stalked afaik irl. I'm super paranoid these days too. I share a lot of stuff here which isn't a good idea but I guess I just cba making a blog elsewhere or something (I got used to posting on forums so now it's just comfortable,) but I won't share anything significant anywhere else anymore. I don't share much of anything with my YouTube audience.

I also wonder if part of the reason she doesn't discuss her political opinions is also because of the stalkers. I doubt it's the main reason (I think that's a personal principle for her,) but it might factor in. Also it's just sensible really because of the parasocial thing. It's a concept that has entirely disappeared in the modern era with social media where the point often is to foster a parasocial relationship and so it just ends terribly. Especially for anyone who has mental health issues and isn't the best person in various ways themselves.

People don't care though that's the messed up thing. I mean most people. Obviously there are controversial political figures who are going to be disliked and disagreed with because they keep saying bullshit or they're scamming people etc but that's not what I'm talking about.

There are people whose content is entirely uncontroversial like they have some gaming channel or something and there's some subset of people - probably mostly women - who just hate the person for some reason. Sometimes they create an entire subreddit or community to talk about this person negatively. They have nothing on them but they search extensively, collectively, to try and find reasons to hate them and then retroactively use anything they find as justification. I watched this happen with someone who makes similar content to me in real time. They had nothing on her to start with. But she made a video about a condition she had, and then she started a vlogging channel and I think she'd mentioned that she has BPD at some point. So they started digging more into her personal life (and she also shared a bunch of stuff on the vlogging channel,) and then she was doxxed and they found her ex's reddit account and so on. But this particular case blew my mind because I can't emphasise enough how mundane the content this person was making.

But yeah there are entire websites and reddits devoted to this kind of thing. And there's the whole 'lolcow' thing. They tear anyone who has any weakness apart. There's lots of guys doing this too and preying on other men. Sometimes people imply it's just a female thing and I don't want to do that because like my post yesterday about the femboy thing with the guy who was trolling on r9k because he doesn't like the people there. I removed the follow up interview from my post (mostly because it's obvious he wants attention.) But he spent a lot of time bragging in it about his supposed Albanian wife, and how he's not a loser essentially. And he dislikes these incel guys not because they can be dicks, misogynistic etc, and vulnerable narcissists (with all the negative [BEEP] that comes with that,) he doesn't like them because they're vulnerable. and expressing weakness. And then has the audacity to claim he's somehow superior. He also implied he dislikes e-girls but said not as much as the 'simps that follow them' obviously they're in a position of power and he's a narcissist lol.

Oh my god. It's just a horror show. Basically just this video:





Anyway going back to that article.

She has never played "the girlfriend" or "the wife" "Right," she says emphatically when I say this to her instead always going for complicated, challenging characters. "I was never interested in a career for a career's sake. I just wanted to tell the stories I find interesting and I wasn't very good playing the girlfriend, so, nope, I never did that. I just worked when I found something that moved me," she says.

Presumably that wasn't too often, given the scarcity of interesting roles for women. How many times does a script turn up with a female FBI agent chasing a serial killer with the help of a cannibal? "It's true, I probably worked less than others, but I'd rather be more discerning. The industry has changed a lot recently, with the end of the studio system, the rise of superheroes and streaming. But the only thing I trust is the quality of stories, and I decided I would focus on that. Some of my movies haven't worked, but at least I held to the same principle. That's why I'm not the richest actor, or the most successful. But I think I've had the longest career," she says.

Foster made the firm choice not to put her own children on the stage. She had two sons, Charlie, 20, and Kit, 16, while she was with her former partner, Cydney Bernard (Foster is now married to the photographer Alexandra Hedison), and she says keeping them out of the spotlight was ?a conscious decision?. ?I know the perils of having a parent involved in your art form are too great. My older son is getting more interested in acting now, and I?m glad he discovered it late. My younger son is really shy and I can promise you he will never be an actor,? she says proudly.

I think a lot of child actors end up really fucked up. There seem to be ways to avoid that happening but you see it happen a lot. It's going to be really bad in the future with all the kids who grow up with the attention of social media.

Just thinking about justpearlythings and how she exposed her 13 year old sister to her YouTube audience of men who mostly hate women who don't agree with every word they say, and the comments she got. It's 9 minutes into this video:



Like what the [BEEP] are you doing? I watched it before and thought 'that was dumb and she sucks' because she does but people are actually insane now. Not even just her the fact this didn't occur to her seems common. People don't even consider that they're famous now because often nothing materially changes due to the way fame works now + people's lifestyles. And I know how this feels to some extent because I have thousands of followers which is insane - even that amount is insane to consider - but it doesn't feel like it when you just sit in your room or whatever. I mean she's more active irl - and goes on TV shows like Piers Morgan - so I think there's less of an excuse there. She's not exactly a typical YouTuber in that sense.

Her audience is definitely more insane than the average. This is such an insane world we're living in lol. Like 20 years ago this would have been inconceivable. "And in 20 years a woman who is grifting for money has fostered an audience of almost 2 million people who are mostly bitter men who also often have psychopathic personality traits and empathy deficiencies and she's going to expose her younger sister to that audience." Like my generation were like warned not to meet people online irl and [BEEP] like that. "Avoid pedophiles." Etc. Now it's like "no you should be exposed to all of the psycho men on the planet simultaneously."

Some guy will make a YouTube channel full of videos parodying some female YouTuber - which I think is maybe a bit much personally (but I still haven't watched his videos) - but she basically steals other people's content while barely reacting to it and is somehow one of the most popular YouTube channels on the platform and YouTube gives her shout outs so I can see why people are annoyed and frustrated by the ongoing issue of capitalism (not exclusive to YouTube of course,) where it promotes anything if it can get attention and $$$ regardless of effort put in or quality, and then instead of messaging you that woman will take a photo of herself outside your house later and then post that for her millions of followers. Either because she's a psychopath or because she delusionally didn't even consider for a moment the impact of doing that.

Fantastic times.

Peal's sister seemed to have a kind of detached attitude so maybe she'll be OK. Plus younger kids are unfortunately growing up with exposure to that level of hared. Most of them clearly aren't OK mentally because the statistics show they're not OK (especially teen girls,) but maybe over time people will just become desensitised to mass hatred or something. Like Humans will have to evolve to stop caring which might have other issues depending on how that selection process works. Some people who learn to turn off caring what other people think also don't care about other people's feelings at all. And we often socially promote people with this personality type eg: Katie Hopkins and Milo Yiannopoulos. I think a lot of men especially think this is a good thing. Like everyone should just be a complete asshole. I don't agree.

[Nyctophilia]

I bought a book for the first time in probably a decade so we'll see if I actually read it. To emphasise how long it's been I kind of like the smell of the book because it makes me nostalgic for a time in my life when I went into book shops haha.

The book is Steven Wilson's memoir Limited Edition of One. I bought it because I wanted to read the short story he wrote that his album The Harmony Codex was inspired by which I heard was in this book. The rest of it might be interesting too though potentially (hopefully lol.)

Something that's occurred to me while reading the blurb of the book:

Porcupine Tree began as teenage fiction before unintentionally evolving into a reality that encompassed Grammy-nominated records and sell-out shows around the world, before he set out for an even more successful solo career.

is that a lot of his work seems to start off as fiction or with a story. I had heard that before about Porcupine Tree's origins how he came up with a fictional band so he was kind of larping as a band until he was actually making music and then later recruited other people so became an actual band haha.

https://theeliteextremophile.com/201...steven-wilson/

Steven Wilson began Porcupine Tree as a joke. He and his friend Malcolm Stocks came up with the idea of a super-cult, hyper-unknown prog/psychedelic rock band called The Porcupine Tree and invented a rather in-depth backstory for this fictional act. Wilson (primarily) and Stocks put together a significant number of recordings for this group, and in 1989, Wilson released some of this music on the cassette Tarquin's Seaweed Farm.

After Tarquin's Seaweed Farm received some positive critical reception, Wilson released the EP Love, Death & Mussolini. This EP's release was extremely limited, and physical copies of it remain highly-sought-after collectors' items.

By the time of the release of Porcupine Tree’s second full-length album, 1991’s The Nostalgia Factory (which included the entirety of Love, Death & Mussolini), founding member Malcolm Stocks had left the project, though Wilson continued the charade of being an underground '70s prog legend.

All three of these early releases are rough around the edges and overstuffed with some unimpressive filler, but the basic DNA for the band we came to know is there. When I first started writing this piece, I wanted to discuss these early releases beyond these brief blurbs, as they're often ignored in the context of Porcupine Tree's discography. On the Sunday of Life is usually regarded as their first proper album. And after listening to these three releases, I’m inclined to agree with the standard view. These early releases are more like demos, and almost everything which appears on On the Sunday of Life was drawn from this early output.

It's interesting.

On the Sunday of Life was released in 1992. This album, as mentioned above, is a compilation of material released on both Tarquin's Seaweed Farm and The Nostalgia Factory, though more polished. The major differentiator is that this was the first Porcupine Tree album to be released on a label.

On the Sunday of Life is unquestionably the weakest of Porcupine Tree's major releases. It's cosmic, psychedelic rock with proggy leanings, but there are a lot of lackluster moments. This 75-minute album is laden with brief, ambient interludes, and the longer works often get lost in their own weirdness. The music is sparse and simplistic; it sounds like something produced by one musician who isn't particularly confident in his instrumental skills. Many of the moments feel as if Steven Wilson is trying to be daring, but it comes off as muddled and dissonant.

=O

Did you not hear Nine Cats and Linton Samuel Dawson?





It's quirky.

I like this track a lot:



I like this a lot because it sounds like art nouveau in music form (to me anyway):



This is also pretty good:



I like it more than The Incident I think at least personally but these days I kind of like a lot of the psychedelic music from that era more than the metal era.

That's not to say On the Sunday of Life doesn’t have good music on it. "Radioactive Toy" was Porcupine Tree's first true classic. It’s a haunting, slow-building piece that is well-served by its stark simplicity; and "Footprints" hints at this act's more sinister future tones. "Linton Samuel Dawson", despite Steven Wilson's helium-infused vocals, is a damn catchy bit of poppy psych rock that can’t help but worm its way into your brain. "This Long Distance" feels like a bridge between dark '80s synthpop and more modern-sounding prog rock, with its soaring guitar line and plinking synth undercarriage.

But I love that. Like OK. A lot of his music is quite dark and depressing and I know he likes making music like that and listening to it (he's spoken about that a bunch including during shows in the past,) and I also have always liked music that is more dark or angry etc. However. I also like whimsical stuff and think it's important sometimes. Plus everything is dark and ironic now.

You'll notice I'm not reading the book I'm now reading that website with the review/listening to music/writing this post/thinking about eating. Looking at this gif:



And now I'm watching this:

Icky, is your plan to crack Finns egg or are you happy with the cis+ and cross dressing?

That's such a creepy question honestly.

Well if you think about it. If you're just straight you've got half the options right so whoever you're into. But if you can make them trans you then have every option. So if I like women I can date a guy and start going like 'you ever watch Keffals?' [...] 'Hey honey have you heard of Contraptions?'

My brain has the same idea mostly with guys (well famous musicians.) Well even when I don't have that idea Tumblr will or the musician will post genderswapped photos of themselves onto twitter perhaps, and then I'm into it so. I'm not accepting complete responsibility for that. And Loki is a genderfluid fictional character.

I tried to get my friend when we were in a relationship to wear eyeliner since I had some I was using for a Halloween costume, he didn't want to though lol. I never usually wear makeup so I get why someone wouldn't want to. I wasn't trying to turn him into a woman, this was before I started doing that in my head with musicians too. I always liked guys who wore makeup and had long hair etc though.

In reality though if I was trying to find a relationship I just wouldn't pursue that if I wasn't into them already. (I'm definitely going to die alone though lol. Realistically.)

[Doseone]

Yeah I mean I don't think Earth is finished since evolution is an ongoing process, although I tend to think of that as being chaotic as well lol, and changes aren't always positive. But then I can only see things from my own subjective perspective as well so I'm applying my own morality to it. Like for a being that thinks pain and suffering is great, pain and suffering would be a positive thing. Like the cenobites lol.

That's good it went well. Sometimes I find I'm more anxious before doing things (although other times I'm more anxious during so it's a mixed bag for me lol.) I stopped dating when I was 20? That's when I broke up with my second ex. We're still friends though. 14 years is a long time. The longest relationship I've been in is only about 9 months? But it's hard to say when we were officially in a relationship vs dating. 7-9 months.

I was more functional when I was in relationships but that's more because I was at university at the time and so my life had a lot more structure (even then I wasn't super organised. I'm terrible at planning and motivating myself, might have undiagnosed ADHD it's a life long issue.) I almost met up with someone online when I was in my mid 20s but we didn't in the end and eventually stopped talking, and I think it's at least partly because we both weren't really happy with where our lives were at. I always felt like I should fix the other parts of my life before trying to date again but then I never really managed to do that, and also don't like the idea of modern dating now either with dating sites/apps etc but uh I could write an essay about that lol so I'll just say that.

Even though it went okay, I'm still glad it's over. lol. Now for Christmas, I'm supposed to go over to my aunt's house. I don't know if I'll go. Thanksgiving was at my house, so I didn't really have a choice. I had to say "hi" to everyone and sit around. I would have stayed in my room the whole time, but to me, that is worse as people would be asking where I was. Luckily, I didn't freeze up/have any awkward silences.

I think I'm done with with relationships. I got to experience what in my opinion was a great one. I don't really see the point in another one. But I guess humans get lonely. Who knows what could happen in the future. I don't think I could do dating sites. lol. I met my ex on a forum. All of the cards just fell right.

I only like/know a few Donovan songs, but his new video is directed by David Lynch, so I had to watch.

[Doseone]

I hate Ben Shapiro, but this should be interesting. I used to listen to this podcast every week. I was obsessed with theism vs. atheism debates from like 2012-2015; I even listened/watched more than I listened to music back then. I got bored with it, but I will watch a video if it has good guests. I really like Alex O'Connor. I wouldn't consider myself an atheist (I define God differently than traditional theists - more like panentheism. I think God is ultimately impersonal). I think the topic of whether religion is good for society or not is a false dichotomy as it can be argued to be both good and bad.




Edit:
I was also thinking about how my dad mentioned prayer and how he said "you have to believe" in order for prayer to work. Who prays and doesn't believe? It's implicit in praying that you believe.

Also, I went to the casino yesterday with my dad and had a sudden realization about how absurd reality is and couldn't stop smiling. lol.

[Heelsbythebridge]

I dream of a day where I have a job that doesn't make me want to hang myself, or make me wish the day were over as soon as I wake up.

[Nyctophilia]

All the lyrics are like freewriting:

You must listen very carefully to what I have to say
There isn't much time, because you-know-who has consumed all the instruments

For many eons now, I have been trapped on this planet
He is keeping me here against my will
And sometimes, when I press my ear up very close to the concrete
I can hear his daughters sobbing with laughter

Either I am blind, or I have been in darkness ever since the sun exploded 14 centuries ago
A few hours ago, he-who-keeps-me-here visited me, saying
"God, why do the millions worship you instead of I?
Am I not more powerful, more forgiving, and truly compassionate?"

A black liquid was seeping uncontrollably from my mouth
And all I could do was babble incomprehensibly about a dream I had many moons ago
In it, a clock ticked constantly, maddening my senses
That was all, but it lasted for many days
Until each tick seemed like fragments of glass piercing my scales

He-who-keeps-me-here tells me that one day I will return to Earth
And then, I will seek my revenge

^ telling my kids this was Grimes.

I like how the character has scales. Also the part with glass. I found I got kind of similar results years ago like the examples below but there's less of a coherent story because this is pure free writing:

There once was a cat named Lily that flew by all the windows of the town and splintered the window panes with blood curdling screams that never disapeared. And after everyone had left the chaos that emerged from the trees twisted them into statues that fell into your mouth. And I can't hide this empty wonder as trees melt softly into a cage that sits on top of hills. And spires that light the darkness that crawls into the mist and shadow, fighting with demons and glass.

bleach vultures circle round the toilet bowl
moth serpent growing up the tree bark
flickering sunset serendipitous light
fractal cold ice glass sword fight

vibrating tendrils of ash
salt dragon skeleton sinks into the moss banks
water flows through my fingers as
fire bleaches the bones

I think it's also a kind of interesting insight into how your mind might be if you were schizophrenic as well. Someone else mentioned that before in a thread I made, they said it was hard to stop.

Because I made a thread about this once and people posted themselves doing this. Something interesting I noticed is that people tended to post surreal horror or just surreal stuff or just violent horrific stuff in general. Some political stuff in there too and some people just couldn't exactly do it and were having an awkward conversation about how they couldn't do it and the self conscious part of their mind was conversing with them as they wrote. Especially if they were trying to post it for that thread since it's visible. Someone actually asked if there was a condition where you can't do that sort of thing lol. I think that's just called being 100% sane. I feel like being able to do this sort of thing in the first place taps into schizophrenic-adj and dissociative thought patterns.

Also cats pop up tons in my freewriting (not linking all the examples) and that's why I find his early work so interesting obviously he has a song called Nine Cats too lol:



It's like what ends up happening when you do dmt. Lots of elves and cats and reptiles right? A lot of it is also just like Alice in Wonderland but I can't tell if that's because that is also drawing from that (probably that it's drawing from that.)

But you know what the most horrifying/creepy thing about this is? So to create this post I looked back on an old thread where I'd posted a bunch and one post includes stuff from back in 2010 and 2011. But I didn't catch this I guess when I copied and pasted it into that thread:

I was looking for something and found this on my hard drive from 2011 saved as free writing, really ****ing weird lol (I have no idea what sog is supposed to mean or if that was some typo) also grammar, punctuation etc has just gone out of the window entirely with all of these:

Also before I go on lots of this stuff is really cringe

Wait scattered pages dancing around your feet chewed bone of this sog is nothing really going to happen and this is never going to work because you aren't a cat feeling your way through piles of wondering people and failures of humanity and detonate yourself into the oblivion of stardust and castles that fall at your feet in rubble holes of creation and decadence gym class was never the same after Lucy took that gun to her head, I can't believe you never told her how you felt there's never going to be another opportunity and I never went the same way as you did, but I care too and whether or not you understand my point of view is irrelevant from the overall point of madness and decay inside your mind that is broken and lost among the wastelands of this city forests that have fallen to the corruption of man, swirling vortexes of hatred and anguish tempered with marshmallow stubble

I never wanted it to be this way, but you just wouldn't understand there were too many people in this crowded little town and I couldn't stand you, running away from everything time and time again, through open door ways, tripping over your lies.

I came here alone, and I'll leave alone into the nether with my pet rat his name is Bob and he has a purple coat of fine fur, needles the porcupine said that everyone will pay.
Tripping over your falsehoods, falling into your trap

Nothing would give me a greater sense of achievement then to have your head on my wall, my pike will taste your blood tonight.

Rhythmic pulsing sensations

Swamp rats

Lucid feelings that come to mind when I think on it.

Caught between a feeling of lucidity and

This was before I discovered Porcupine Tree existed as a band since I found them in either 2013 or 2014. That's so fucking trippy. Oh my God. This isn't the only time this has happened to me though (like with all the chaos references about a decade before Jordan Peterson.) It's creepy. Humans are so weird.

I'll have to double check that that particular part is from 2011. To me that's weirder than the other stuff about the cats, and the reptiles because those are just like universals in Human consciousness (hate that word, so hard to spell) and different cultures but where do the porcupines come from? That's a bit more idiosyncratic I think. You could also call that a coincidence but that's boring haha.

Lemons pop up a lot too (in my personal memes and in everyone else's):





I want to say kids cartoons just get weirder and weirder as time goes on but that's not really true.





I know this is a Beyonce album but this is funnier. 'Kimberly use your key I'm lemonading.'



I blame this honestly:



This is an early version of Hacker by Death Grips:

Got the DNA of Gothic lemons

I can tell they're doing the same thing because of the spiral staircase and the snake symbolism etc.



I remember talking to someone who couldn't get into their music and I think their music is interesting but yeah I haven't listened to most of their work but the interesting part for me was just what they did with the lyrics etc.

I think this is the reason why most conspiracy theorists think that Hollywood etc is full of like transgender reptile demons LOL. Cause those are popular themes that pop up over and over.

I'm also really into trees obviously. That goes back to all my weird hybrid trees (robotic trees, meat trees etc,) and other tree and plant people stories from when I was a teenager in the 2000s.

The tilted house was a small house in the centre of the forest. During the winter the trees surrounding it were dead and bare and gave the area an even more austere appareance.
It was an experience she'd never had before. Just sitting there, drinking coffee at 2am in the city centre, as though neither of them had commitments or any reason at all to wake up before noon the next day. They talked about a multitude of things; mostly science. How carbon based stars were essentially diamonds and

The sky looked like a velvet blanket

This parts really cringe (I think when doing this it's like 70% cringe + nonsense and then 30% hmm maybe this is usable and sometimes it's like 90/10):

Sliding over rocks and into your arms, jagged little incandescent mirages that flicker across the surface, superfluously shining in the moonlit breeze . Stringing words together in such a fashion that they could be mistaken for meaningful aberrations and I can't find this wonderful feeling anymore it's so incomparable to anything I've ever felt before that I ran through these hills, tumbling over thicket and these little orange flowers that bloomed in the garish sunlight, and I couldn't help but feel that this was all one big mistake, the pills weren't supposed to do this, Alice wasn't supposed to tumble through the looking glass, I wasn't supposed to feel this way.
Someone once told me that there were two kinds of monster, the shadows that fall into your windswept vision and the ones that form in the apertures inside of your heart.

Actually I don't think he wrote a lot of those lyrics like I think at one point he hired someone? and also worked with a friend writing some or something? I've heard many different things. Which may also be an attempt at deliberately creating confusion/mystery. But some other people are credited on early work. I want to talk to those people I guess lol. Like he says here he didn't write them and someone had transcribed them wrong online. I don't think so though I think there are just different versions of the song from what I've noticed like the one he's performing here differs from the studio recording I've heard:



Alan Duffy is credited on a lot of those tracks alongside Steven Wilson also John Marshall on one track. I think Alan Duffy wrote the lyrics though. There aren't any trains so it is a but suspicious no lol. He does have a lot of lyrics about trains though. Serial killers and trains. Also aliens tbh (but it's vague and people bring that one up less.)

[Nyctophilia]

I hate Ben Shapiro, but this should be interesting. I used to listen to this podcast every week. I was obsessed with theism vs. atheism debates from like 2012-2015; I even listened/watched more than I listened to music back then. I got bored with it, but I will watch a video if it has good guests. I really like Alex O'Connor. I wouldn't consider myself an atheist (I define God differently than traditional theists - more like panentheism. I think God is ultimately impersonal). I think the topic of whether religion is good for society or not is a false dichotomy as it can be argued to be both good and bad.




Edit:
I was also thinking about how my dad mentioned prayer and how he said "you have to believe" in order for prayer to work. Who prays and doesn't believe? It's implicit in praying that you believe.

Also, I went to the casino yesterday with my dad and had a sudden realization about how absurd reality is and couldn't stop smiling. lol.

I'm very into culture war figures/debates (not so much religious vs atheist debates specifically though,) but weirdly I can't actually listen to much of Ben Shapiro. I've listened to some of his rants about music and a few other things, and also thought the whole Barbie review arc recently was amusing, but he just kind of bores me for the most part. I spend a lot of time reading/watching stuff I disagree with and stuff that annoys me too but he's just kind of boring to the point where I could never even be bothered to watch most of his videos. Same with Steven Crowder and a lot of other mainstream right wing speakers.

This might just be because I don't listen to Ben Shapiro much but he seems to take things very literally and have this kind of hyper rational approach but like it's a fetishisation of rationality almost. He's a bit authoritarian too about some subjects I've seen him bring up. It's kind of amusing in small doses (like some of his comments about music and lyrics etc,) but also I imagine irritating on an ongoing basis.

Also I feel like this is a difficult thing for two individual people to debate. Ben Shapiro is Jewish so he's only going to be arguing from that pov, though I guess you could argue that's fine because the Abrahamic religions are the most popular anyway, especially in Western countries. So it might be representative of a lot of religious people.

There are certain psychological phenomenon that seem to persist regardless of culture and stated beliefs though. So from my pov polytheism just got absorbed by politics, fantasy role playing games (like warhammer 40k, Elder Scrolls etc,) and comic book culture. It's also kind of like the concept of American Gods. Lol this is funny 'No I was not technically inspired by all these other British writers' because British people are all the same and know each other (tm) (not really though there are actually several different British people):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Gods

The Discworld novel Small Gods explores a similar origin of deities (thoughtform). While Gaiman says that he did not read the book by Terry Pratchett, he thought they shared a worldview due to their same geographic origins and, more importantly, their daily phone conversations. He had also sought advice from Pratchett on resolving plot elements of American Gods.[10]

According to Gaiman, American Gods is not based on Diana Wynne Jones's 1975 novel Eight Days of Luke, "although they bear an odd relationship, like second cousins once removed or something". When working on the structure of a story linking gods and days of the week, he realised that this idea had already been used in Eight Days of Luke. He abandoned the story, but later used the idea when writing American Gods to depict Wednesday and Shadow meeting on the god's namesake day.[11]

Anyway yeah it didn't really go anywhere even though most Western people are technically no longer polytheistic. So debating whether it's good or bad seems kind of pointless because it seems to be something the Human mind just does automatically. Or at least a lot of people's minds do. Suppressing that is probably counterproductive, so I think you need ways to integrate certain tendencies in a healthy way I dunno. I don't even know what that would look like or if it's possible and people don't agree on anything anyway lol.

But was thinking about what she said during part of this video where she talks about her past and then brings up cryptozoology basically and thinking that seemed fun and wanting a 'safe' way to integrate that kind of thought process I guess:



Obviously this is tangential though to that debate which is probably more about monotheism. I find the personality research around conspiracy thinking and spirituality (which is different to religious groups in some research.) Kind of interesting. Not looked into it extensively though.