Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

I remember seeing this video and thought it was weird. The peoples eyes and the contortions.....scary.

What stood out to me most is the action that is also a play on words..... At 2:32, it is clearly a "Barbie-cue" hahaha.

Don't try this at home, kidz!

Yeah that was one of my favourite music videos when I was a teenager. I remember the first time I saw it on some music channel and being like 'wtf' lol.

[Nyctophilia]

I started reading Sappho's wikipedia page and then the lesbian one. This definitely isn't what they had in mind when people talked about guys thinking about Ancient Rome.

Women in ancient Rome were similarly subject to men's definitions of sexuality. Modern scholarship indicates that men viewed female homosexuality with hostility. They considered women who engaged in sexual relations with other women to be biological oddities that would attempt to penetrate women--and sometimes men--with "monstrously enlarged" clitorises.[49] According to scholar James Butrica, lesbianism "challenged not only the Roman male's view of himself as the exclusive giver of sexual pleasure but also the most basic foundations of Rome's male-dominated culture". No historical documentation exists of women who had other women as sex partners.[50]

No that's not what a lesbian is. Sounds more like me in the alternate universe where I get to have a fulfilling sex life or something. So in some ways that's the opposite of a lesbian but also not quite.

I like that they included men and biological oddity there that's very important. It feels very alienating.

And I love that I think the only place I'm going to find people who I relate to in any way (even then not entirely,) might be some subreddit for a megalomaniac doctor who thinks that a lot of afab trans people are the reason trans people face discrimination (instead of you know transphobes,) and who will judge me for not having medically transitioned. All these kind of spaces online are usually a bunch of toxicity with minor moments of connection/relating.

Have you found the case where sexual orientation feels "broken" (to say it someway)? Like one is half-baked, the other one is half-baked, but none of them fully works, and it's not ace neither, it's more like they stayed "half-done".

And it's not psychological. Or who knows, maybe it is, but there's some weird anomalies in the hormonal profile and physical symptoms related to likely issues in stereidogenesis, so that's a more likely prime suspect.

That's exactly how I've thought about it over the years.

I don't relate to much of the details of the following posts though as I like curvy bodies on women (not exclusively,) but I like guys with slim bodies. Don't like the idea of being penetrated really at all and prefer the idea of topping in fantasy at least. I have different thoughts about porn and my past relationships where I avoided sex and it felt wrong especially sexually were also with guys not women. But the like asexual-ish, bisexual-ish androgyny half-formed/broken feeling is very relatable to me. I feel like I often try to sexualise guys as women and sometimes vice versa over the years as well. Like just take certain traits and reimagine people in my head, or since faceapp has become a thing there's certain guys I found attractive who I'm more/equally attracted to as women.

No [BEEP] - I know exactly what you mean. I'm the same way and I've been fucked up over it. For context I'm a 6ft, "pretty" ADHD trans man with no hypermobility or autism but a lot of aggression, agency, crassness maybe etc that a lot of trans men don't seem to have.

I find women's bodies extremely attractive and I love looking at them in a not very feminist way, but I don't know what to do with them outside of touching them etc. I assumed it was a penis lacking problem, which there is some evidence for, but also, I just don't fantasize about fucking them much of the time, though I do sometimes. With T looking at women became like a drug to me.

Men look like the chosen undead to me and I hate gay porn. Regardless, to my shame I love being fucked, yet it's a totally self involved experience - I feel like I'm playing pretend that I'm attracted to them. I can be attracted to feminine men in theory so long as their bodies are curvy enough.

I am attracted to androgyny in both genders specifically inassofar as I can access it, I often fear I'm asexual, but I'm definitely not. I'm just not sure how to be happy. I'm not fully attracted to anyone enough to go after them. I don't like the logistical options available to me in this world and I want better ones. I'm afraid I will just remain alone as a result. Broken sexuality. Is this your experience?

I wish people wouldn't feel the need to say things like the bolded.

That's exactly my experience.

I find the female body extremely attractive, but it's something aesthetic, like looking at a statue. The male body feels "undead", as you said, but at the same time there's a weird attraction. I hate gay porn on one side, and feel completely bored with lesbian porn on the other. With straight porn and both a male and a female I feel like I don't know exactly where to look. I feel much more attracted to androgynous looking too, both in males and females.

I used to date women, though I stopped years ago once I realized I was always trying to escape having sex. And I'm not asexual, I have a libido, but I don't know what to do with it. I use to say that I'm a practicing asexual.

I have ADHD and almost every issue in the nonad of trans except hypermobility. I actually described a few days ago as the non-hypermobile variant. I am not aggresive, I'm indeed the very opposite: appeasing and nurturing. But I think that could be part of extreme ADHD: in my case, pure inattentive non-hyperactive ADHD, which you could call extreme female ADHD type, while the male ADHD leans more often towards hyperactive and aggresive.

I don't know how HRT will influence it since I'm still in the bureaucratic waiting hell. As an additional story, I started methyl vitamins about 4-5 weeks ago and it was a huge difference: they wiped out a recurrent feeling of "like-fever" and numbness I had from morning to mid-evening. And I've found some unexpected effect: my sexual orientation is (very slowly) shifting towards guys. Changes in sexual orientation seem to be extremely rare when using methyl vits, but there's cases where it happened.

It's very awkward how they just lumped everything together for most of history. Like Rachilde had to repeatedly insist she wasn't a lesbian because she sort of identified as a gay man and sort of as a woman it seems, but had at least one relationship with a woman. And then her first novel was interpreted as a lesbian book by Oscar Wilde even though it's in a literal sense a straight role reversal book I guess? But the female character insists that her relationship with the male character is a gay male relationship and not lesbian but also that he's a woman. So a paradox.

But it's an ongoing point of mass social conflict now even inside the LGBT+ community and especially for afab people who are rarely understood or accepted even by doctors like this one. Also the endless arguing over the precise gradations of people's sexuality and how they label that and then gatekeeping surrounding that on social media and the issues every subgroup has with each other.

I wish more online conversations were like the above so I could try and find people with similar experiences because it always feels like I don't fit in neatly anywhere (even with the above quotes/subreddit anyway.) Which I know logically is just reality but it feels very alienating.

That doctor responded to my post too and was basically like 'I agree with you the problem is labels.' spoilers though: we don't agree lol. Also I don't think I want to respond to him directly again.

He said he's cool with people who are 'masculine or tomboys and a bit [BEEP] or bisexual' calling themselves non-binary 'or whatever' that this is not rare and probably represents 15% of afab people and is 'standard fare across the planet'

So this is apparently why he thinks it's OK (the absolute insanity of this when you can just be cisgender and straight and have that accepted by default no justification or picking apart physical traits necessary):

I'm fairly confident the overwhelming majority of them have some degree of homosexuality due to androgen exposure. And I base that on the fact that nearly every single one of my [BEEP] women has elevated androgens in some way. They all have that peach fuzz going down the side of their face. Not all of them will have severe acne or other stuff, but it's enough to cause non-gender normative behavior and other neurological structural changes.

So you're saying I'm valid because I've struggled with some kind of weird skin issue on my face for most of my adult life that I sought treatment for that worked temporarily but now it's been an issue again for the past few years and I kind of gave up (on everything.)

And I came across a guy like this on twitter before who was arguing that there was some phenotype that real bisexual women like Amber Heard and Kristen Stewart had.

Also once again I have no idea what he's treating them for if they id as [BEEP] women. I guess some decide to go on hrt but otherwise I'm confused.

I don't deny the existence of these people at all. And if these people identify as non-binary or whatever, I'm totally cool with it.

and then he went into a rant again about the same archetype of person:

What I'm not cool with is a girl that in say 2010 would have never in a million years identified as anything non-binary or whatever, labeling herself as he/him, for the benefit of attention and to be considered special.

See afab people are always accused of doing that and dismissing people like this without investigating further is a form of misogyny. Have you talked to any of these people? I sincerely doubt it.

And my point was look at someone like Ashnikko she labels herself genderfluid, posts a lot of stuff like that very sexualised and feminine, uses she/they pronouns. Some of her music videos are more androgynous, her general voice pitch etc is a bit androgynous, and she's in a long term relationship with a woman so it would be pretty dumb to call someone like that 'spicy straight.' It's not black/white even then.

This is sort of tangential but I also kind of resent this bizarre standard we've set where androgyny in afab people is just cutting your hair short and wearing unisex clothing. How is this not androgynous?

I'm a 41 year old man, and I'm fucking annoyed that I actually love this. What the hell?

These types of comments which are really common amuse me as well.

What bothers me is seeing actual transgender people sit there and defend some girl who will hang her boobs out on her only fans and go by he/him and a name like Matt. This person is basically co-opting their identity. They are like somebody who isn't actually native American but is pretending to be so for the benefit of tribal identity. A tribe they don't actually belong to.

He goes back to this specific archetype of a person and that's what I'm saying is misogyny really. Because of the focus on sexualisation and sex work again. He's not complaining about the many amab trans people who don't pass or medically transition and use she/her pronouns he is focussed specifically on young afab people who post revealing photos.

But not only that who cares what pronouns someone decides to go by? It's a personal preference.

Also I do identify as a man as part of my identity and I realise it's insulting for trans guys to think we have anything in common ever but I don't consider myself to be in a radically different group or for non-binary to be a singular third gender identity that's entirely separated. I know that fucks with the people who want there to be a huge chasm between man and woman and cis and trans though. Just like bisexuals have a similar issue with sexuality.

Is it illegal to use he/him pronouns unless you medically transition?

This idea of 'co-opting identity' seems very stupid to me when it comes to gender expression anyway. It's the same energy as the people who get mad at Harry Styles for wearing a dress but not being openly queer. 'You don't struggle with discrimination because of your status and heterosexuality so you can't wear a dress.' WHAT?

Although you can interpret this video in many ways (and I have done so lol) I think the initial point of it was commentary on that discourse. A bunch of stuff in the video is obviously a reference to Harry Styles too:

I started writing this song as comedomusicological exercise in attacking one specific individual for Your Entertainment. But the more I wrote, the more I started to feel like a voyeur, contorting that stranger into a reductive stereotype of my own creation. This song is about that.

And it's not some sex worker on only fans fault that trans people are being discriminated against. Sex workers are discriminated against too. You can literally lose your job if your employer finds out you have an onlyfans account I have seen this happen to many people!

I think I have too much anxiety to respond to him again directly. I regret that I didn't make it clear in my initial post to him about the sex work thing since I was really only arguing that there's a spectrum of experiences etc and he just kind of manoeuvred around his common but obvious dislike of feminine sex workers.

I don't wish to inflict experiences I have from most of society on anyone else so no I don't agree.

This never happened in the past because there was no positive social acceptance of transgender people. They reviewed as an aberration. Something to be abhorred Or be ashamed of. Since the [BEEP] liberation, you've basically seen things that used to be shameful now be celebrated. While that's great, people want to be part of that celebration, and so they try to sign up for something that they aren't actually part of.

I felt more comfortable questioning my gender identity + sexuality and researching this topic online in 2010 then I did at any point past around 2015 which was around when I decided to come out online. It became a huge culture war thing around that time and I think all of the background noise makes it very difficult to find a way to be comfortable especially irl so I still haven't.

I don't find there is much support from the general public or even people like you at all. So ironic. Trans women especially tend to hate on afab non-binary people online (I think that's just because most websites have more trans women posting regularly though.) Transphobes negative stereotypes for trans men don't really exist because trans men are invisible instead their negative comments are all about a stereotype of a non-binary afab person like dyed hair and piercings etc and all these things just get lumped together in their mind. I consider that their problem that they overreact. And people try to distance themselves from those people because they are bigger outcasts in society than passing trans people are.

They are not accepted more than cisgender people and do not get more social benefits than that group. None of the research on non-binary people points to that either they are struggling more in various areas of life compared to cisgender people. It takes like 10 minutes of research on Google to pick up on that:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9816129/

Deviating from prevailing gender norms may have a negative impact on non-binary people's personal development and well-being, especially concerning their mental health, social relations, personal networks, and work possibilities. Besides worsened well-being, they have an increased risk of exposure to harassment and violence (Aparicio-Garc?a et al., 2018; Newcomb et al., 2020).

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles...22.993568/full

During the pandemic, 20% reported that they were physically abused compared to 10.3% in the multinational sample of gender binary adolescents, 25% reported that they were grouped or touched in a sexual manner without their consent compared to 12.2% of the gender binary people surveyed, and the same amount, 25%, were threatened and felt seriously afraid compared to 11.5% of the gender binary population (Kerekes et al., 2021b). In cyberbullying, 25% reported that someone had written offensive things about them online compared to 12.5% in the gender binary population and 16% compared to 8.9% in gender binary (Kerekes et al., 2021b) reported that someone had uploaded pictures or videos about them without their consent on the internet. This data shows an at least doubled risk of being victimized as a gender non-binary adolescent. This can be related to Rimes et al. (2019), who concluded that gender non-binary and binary transgender adolescents experienced higher levels of domestic violence and childhood sexual abuse than the gender binary population. The prevalence of health risk behaviors among transgender and gender non-conforming youths was described in Eisenberg et al. (2017), where in addition to suicidal ideations, they demonstrated greater risk of emotional stress and experiences of bullying with higher risk behaviors and lower protective factors compared to gender binary/cisgender youths.

About 40% of non-binary adolescents reported having experienced physical abuse, and half of them experienced psychological abuse at some point in their lives. Seventeen percent reported living with adults with alcohol-use problems. Non-binary adolescents' personalities were found to be dominated by high scores in Openness, Neuroticism, and Agreeableness.

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2022/...ealth-problems

It also reveals stark patterns in mental health by gender identity, as those who identify as non-binary are more likely to report poor mental health than those who identify as male or female. Almost 70% of those who identified as non-binary reported high psychological distress, compared to 54% of those who identified as female and 33% for those who identify as male.

A total of 61% of non-binary respondents had self-harmed, compared to 23% of females and 11% of males – and over a third (35% ) had attempted suicide compared to 11% of females and 5% of males. They were also far more likely to report bullying, with over half (54% ) saying they had experienced bullying at school, compared to 27% of girls and 20% of boys.

This is from a LGBT+ survey in the UK. Seems to include lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, trans and non-binary people:

37% of trans women, 34% of trans men and 38% of non-binary people felt comfortable being LGBT in the UK. Only 5% of all trans respondents aged under 25 said they felt very comfortable (scoring 5 out of 5), rising to 15% of those aged 55-64 and 31% of those aged 65+.

On average, respondents were less satisfied with their life nowadays than the general population, scoring it 6.5 out of 10, compared with 7.7 for the general UK population. Among cisgender respondents, gay/lesbian people had the highest scores (6.9) and pansexual or asexual people had the lowest scores (both 5.9). Trans people had low scores: trans men scored 5.1, trans women scored 5.5 and non-binary people scored 5.5.

59% of trans women and 56% of trans men who responded to the survey said they had avoided expressing their gender identity for fear of a negative reaction from others. For non-binary respondents the figure was much higher, at 76%. Generally, respondents with a minority gender identity had avoided expressing their gender identity in all contexts, but particularly when out in public (e.g. 68% avoided it on the street).

A quarter (24% ) of all respondents were not open about being LGBT with any family members that they lived with (excluding partners), while 65% were open with all or most.. Younger people were more likely not to be open with any of the family they lived with (42% of cisgender 16-17 year olds and 28% of 18-24 year olds). Only 3% of all respondents were not open about being LGBT to any of their friends; around 82% were open to all or most of their friends.

https://www.scottishtrans.org/wp-con...ary-report.pdf

34% had been told services did not know enough about nonbinary people to help them, and 11% had been refused services or had services stop because they were non-binary

Only 4% of respondents always felt comfortable sharing their non-binary identity at work – compared to 52% who never felt comfortable

People worried about the following if they were to share their non-binary identity at work:
• 90% worried their identity wouldn’t be respected
• 88% worried it would make their work environment more
difficult
• 55% worried it would impact on their career progression

84% of respondents felt their gender identity wasn’t valid, 83% felt more isolated and excluded, 76% felt that they had lower selfesteem and 65% felt they had poorer mental health due to the lack of representation of people like them within services (n 809).

The only services where non-binary people felt comfortable about being out was in LGBT services, where 72% of respondents 'always' or 'usually' felt comfortable sharing their non-binary identity (n 743).

The service where people felt the least comfortable being open about being non-binary was with the police, with 69% of respondents saying they 'never' felt comfortable sharing their identity (n 568 ). This is important in considering the monitoring and reporting of hate crimes, as non-binary people are not comfortable being honest about their gender identity with the police.

Throughout health services, people reported feeling uncomfortable being open about their non-binary identity. This was particularly true of general NHS services, where 60% of respondents 'never' felt comfortable (n 824), as well as with GPs where 50% of respondents said they 'never' felt comfortable (n 846). This would suggest that non-binary people have little confidence that health services will respect their identities, and that more training is needed for staff working in these settings.

"I have told only a few close friends of my gender identity because I am terrified of the truth about myself, that I will not be accepted. People finding out about my gender is one of my biggest fears."

"I have not come out to my parents/family yet, as they are not very accepting of trans people (and almost certainly do not believe in non-binary identities), and thus am not comfortable disclosing my non-binary identity to the vast majority of people, in case my parents find out from them."

"I sometimes feel comfortable saying I'm trans, but I'm not comfortable bringing up that I'm not exactly a trans man, in case no one takes my maleness seriously. This means I present slightly more masculine in terms of style than I would prefer, so that people can perceive my gender and don’t misgender me."

"I find that most services can just about cope with the idea that you are transgender (that is something I am happy to disclose with all of the above services), but being non-binary is still beyond a lot of people’s comprehension."

"I quite often present as a binary trans man when accessing services because people respond a lot better and tend to make more of an effort to use the right pronouns and treat me respectfully. I’ve found that a lot of people don’t understand being told you are non-binary and can get quite aggressive and interrogative."

The fact that people felt more comfortable presenting as a trans man or trans woman, rather than a non-binary trans person, indicates that there is a perception amongst some non-binary people that binary trans identities are better understood, and that binary trans people are treated better by services. This would suggest the importance of increasing training for service providers around non-binary identities and how to include them in provision, as well as indicating that anti-discrimination laws should be extended to specifically include non-binary people, so that they can feel confident that they won’t face discrimination when accessing services.

"I have avoided seeing my doctor and getting the health care I need because I do not think he will take me seriously as a non-binary person. I already struggle with anxiety about doctors. The fact that the UK government does not recognise non-binary people further works to discourage me from getting the help I need."

It definitely seems great to me especially for teenagers and young people. We should definitely yell at them for how they present online. /s

Honestly the more I read from these webpages the more pissed off with that doctor I've become because he's so ignorant.

But again it's still dumb to make suffering a requirement for expression. F1nnster is a femboy and calls himself a man and he passes as female most of the time even irl because of how he presents. He also takes photos that really make it seem like he has breasts though he does not. No one really cares though because he's cisgender (as far as we know.)

The rest just descends into a respectability politics rant:

A lot of times people on the subreddit forget that they are unique. That they are not part of the general populace. They live in a bubble surrounded by transgender and [BEEP] people, and so that's their normal. That's the people that they think will evaluate the situation when it appears on TV or in social media or wherever when somebody's having a meltdown and they want to make an example out of this "Transgender" person.

Just look what happened with the transgender school shooter? Like it was all about that person's gender.

In short, some of these people that are not really transgender but just want to be part of the cool kids club are diluting the actual meaning of the word, and when they behave poorly, their actions reflect onto the community who has embraced them as part of themselves. That is what I find problematic.

Men have been known to shoot up schools.

You're the one who suggested going on testosterone led to some of your patients beating up their girlfriends for the first time... I personally don't think it has to do with hrt or being trans but sexuality/competition stuff. Also in domestic violence situations specifically in situations where domestic abuse is one sided cis women commit more domestic violence in relationships with men than cis men do so that's even more removed.

Well I'm definitely not in that situation. I don't know any trans or non-binary people irl. I used to have some trans people I talked to online but now I basically don't talk to anyone besides my friend who is a cis guy and doesn't understand any of this and I don't talk to him about anything related though he has brought the topic up a few times because we know a bunch of people who came out as trans from when we were at uni over the past few years.

My dad will complain about wokeness and defended jk rowling vaguely the last time I saw him (which is so old now I haven't read anything about her in ages and I try to avoid doing so/thinking about her at all at this point.) I'm closeted except to my brother and friend who don't really understand me. Sometimes I'll try to explain certain things to my brother if he makes some generalised gender based statement and he means well, but like I say he doesn't really get it. I avoid bringing up any tangential topics irl but they get brought up sometimes anyway. I go online and read comments from full blown fascists regularly engaging in various race discourse, misogynists and transphobes everywhere. (In many ways this is preferable to dealing with the trans or LGBT+ community directly as it's less personal for me and when reading that stuff I'm aware they're my outgroup in the first place. It's like when you're reading stuff or interacting with people who are LGBT+ especially trans you never know if they will be accepting or not so you can never really relax or be comfortable. Some people are nice because they feel social pressure etc. It's even more alienating.)

I often feel like I'm in hostile territory online. I'm also aware that my existence is annoying to everyone around me or would be irl if I didn't isolate myself as much as possible. I don't even feel comfortable being myself and can't even figure out how to do that at this point irl. I feel like an alien often and that I'll never be comfortable around others.

And this is all exhausting and not limited to LGBT+ stuff this is just the default Human experience online now I think and increasingly everywhere. It's really [BEEP] and nothing like the 2000s online.

Also it feels more and more like I'm living in Nazi Germany or something.

People freak out about the inclusion of non-binary language/people in video games but there's an mmo I play that has recently done this and it feels nice to be able to use male terms for titles etc. You can also switch bodies which I sometimes do but I prefer the way female characters look in that game since you can make them look more androgynous imo unless there's gendered style in armour which I don't like the style of then I've switched a few times. Also with some things they have non-binary options now too which I use.

But that's ruining the game for other people but don't they have real life to exist in? I don't have real life.

There's all these people's voices in my head when I watch TV shows etc I can hear their criticisms in my head sometimes. Not just related to this their criticisms about everything. I shouldn't be watching a show and thinking 'the people on the internet are going to be or would be (if it's an older show,) pissed off about this' etc. It's really a problem specific to mass communication because you're connected to a large chunk of the Human race - often people you have no overlapping values or personality traits with - and all their stupid thoughts are in your head.

At least I don't feel that way when reading fanfiction and things like that because that was never for them and they're mostly oblivious.

Should probably just spend more time on tumblr or something which I was doing a bit more at one point. It's a lot more chill.

[Doseone]

I remember seeing this video and thought it was weird. The peoples eyes and the contortions.....scary.

What stood out to me most is the action that is also a play on words..... At 2:32, it is clearly a "Barbie-cue" hahaha.

Don't try this at home, kidz!

That song reminds me of a lyric from a battle rapper: "My rounds dart into space and they bounce particles, to put you in a black hole, son, and Soundgarden you.

--

I think first experiences (the good ones anyway) are always the best. Wouldn't it be nice to forget your favorite experiences and then get to experience them again? Maybe that's where rebirth comes in.

[Nyctophilia]

It definitely seems great to me especially for teenagers and young people. We should definitely yell at them for how they present online. /s

Honestly the more I read from these webpages the more pissed off with that doctor I've become because he's so ignorant.

This document is full of reasons to not trust healthcare workers honestly:

https://www.scottishtrans.org/wp-con...ary-report.pdf

"Going for a necessary contraceptive procedure - the doctor who was just about to perform a very painful, intimate procedure asked me why I'd had top surgery but wasn't a man - when I tried to explain he told me that it was 'too complicated' and shushed me."

Why ask then?

Also if it's not relevant and I assume it wasn't it's weird to ask about that anyway. Not to mention all the women with cancer who get surgery anyway.

"I wrote my gender as agender on a form at a sexual health clinic (it was a writein box) and the receptionist ripped it up and told me to come back when I'd grown up."

I hate people.

"I would like more mental health practitioners to be aware of gender identities and non-binary identities, and how your gender can affect your mental health. I've been medicalised for depression for over seven years now and no one understands it at all.

Why I don't even bother honestly.

"There’s an intense pressure to 'pass' when using services. There's a serious fear that if I don't 'look binary', I will be denied access to services. I've had this happen on various occasions because I could not prove that I was 'biologically permitted' (a direct quote) to be using a specific service."

I wonder what that was relating to.

"Working in an environment that is not inclusive of non-binary identities is exhausting and damaging to your mental health. You need a lot of support from outside work and strategies to keep yourself going throughout the day. It is hard because not only are you facing discrimination, no one sees it as that because they don’t see non-binary as existing."

Yeah I was thinking that before. You're not OK but you're expected to be and no one gets why you wouldn't be.

[Nyctophilia]

The Longhouse prevails in strange ways.

People Magazine’s 2023 Sexiest Man Alive has been announced. And no, it’s not Jacob Elordi. The crowd boos. It’s Patrick Dempsey! Crickets. This caps off a year of masculine neutering and completely sexless male celebrities. How did we get here? We must study the Longhousing of the Sexiest Man Alive.

Not only has no one thought about Patrick Dempsey in years, but he’s aged, washed up, and generally unerotic. Sure, he played neurosurgeon Derek "McDreamy" Shepherd on ABC’s Grey's Anatomy and drove race cars nearly a decade ago, but now he’s 57 and has adult children. And apparently a cancer foundation. Cool.

So you've been hired/dragged into this as a token woman to write a blog post for men to blame women for why a list of sexy men aren't sexy enough?

I might have to start drinking alcohol again.

Upon hearing the news, Dempsey said, “I was completely shocked, and then I started laughing, like, this is a joke, right?” While People has certainly peaked in terms of relevance, so has their judgment. We used to get raunchy tidbits about the sex lives of celebrities; photos of wasted starlets leaving the Chateau Marmont or couples getting handsy on yachts. That’s sex appeal. Sexiest Man Alive was the pinnacle of manliness. Vitality. Fertility. But recent selections represent castration and control. I’m going to take you on a walk through the graveyard of former Sexiest Men, and we can reflect on what the Longhouse’s latest successful conquest means for humankind.

I wouldn't know because I've never paid attention to this magazine or list before this moment of extreme retardedness.

99.9% sure they'd disagree with anyone I picked for that list lol.

So what does it mean to be the “sexiest”? It should mean you’re the peak of male attractiveness. You should cater to the female gaze, and you should be the epitome of procreation. You should be strong, successful, charismatic, and mysterious. Veins popping out. Glistening with blood, sweat, and jizz. You should make women’s ovaries quiver!

I don't think you really know what the female gaze is. None of the guys they ever pick for these things are really that popular with most women if you listen to the guys they create porn about. You are writing this article to appeal to heterosexual males idea of what makes an attractive man according to right wing political views. It's ironically as politically motivated as the people you are criticising and might not even reflect your own preferences.

There’s a reason things are “attractive”: We’re biologically programmed to attract the mate that will most likely continue our lineage. STRONG. HEALTHY. But Longhouse world boxes up manly traits. It demands weakness of its men. If you are too virile, it demands you restrain your sexuality. It demands diversity of weakness. Maybe the Sexiest Man has Crohn’s Disease. Maybe he’s a woman. Oh I know, vitiligo--vitiligo is huge right now! Pete Davidson wouldn’t be such a bad idea--he may be Longhouse approved via his Hillary Clinton tattoo—but as an OK comedian he’s probably already been labeled too problematic.

I bet she writes this and goes back home and gets off to lesbian porn or something.

“I peaked many years ago,” he says, laughing in his SMA interview, “But I’m still here.” Sexiness is measured by how many women throw themselves at you, and how far they throw themselves. You don’t see Patrick Dempsey fancams on Tiktok. Patrick Demspey sounds like a name coming off my mom’s Ellen Degeneres or in an SNL joke I didn’t understand.

In that case I think most of the top sexiest men would end up being male kpop stars by default but something tells me that wouldn't please your audience of mostly white guys who aren't allowed to be masculine because women are too powerful either if you were to admit that.

Also I had to look up the guy who won because I don't know who he is but he seems conventionally attractive just older.

Here’s my compromise take on SMA: what about Timothee Chalamet? While he’s pure twink, girls come unglued for him. He appears flamboyant (not the first) and like if he shot a gun he would go flying backwards. Sure, that’s part of an evolving beauty standard away from manly, chiseled hunks, but guess what? At least people are still hot and bothered by him.

By compromise you mean guy most young women find attractive. As in the demographic of women men tend to find the most attractive anyway?

This is so cringe. Like it's one thing for straight guys to do this but the pandering is so obvious lol and she can't even avoid mentioning this (and still hasn't brought up kpop guys because they're not white.)

“I’d completely forgotten about it and never even contemplated being in this position.” Dempsey said. He knows he doesn’t exude sex and vitality. Sure, men aren’t going to war and operating oil rig drills covered in mud like they used to, but we can respect the general notion of sexiness before we give ourselves over to asexual eunuchs.

I've seen a lot of men complaining for years that images of men were all ripped and super masculine etc while women were all overweight and had diverse representation. Models in underwear catalogues etc. So I guess this sort of thing is some attempt at diversity of male bodies.

I personally have never found super ripped guys or most conventionally attractive men attractive so half or more of the guys who get mentioned in these things have never worked for me and most of these guys have always seemed for the benefit of men from a lot of people's pov including mine. I just assume most of those guys are male fantasies and designed to appeal to certain men's ego ideal. Which is fine but it did nothing for me sexually.

Sex is becoming less important, and while that may sound like a safer world, it’s leading us to an antisocial society. Not being able to even acknowledge real sexiness is a sort of sexual censorship. Men can’t ask for a number without coming across as predatory. A few generations down the line, “chiseled and “charming” may be lost for good. People already aren’t having as much sex, and it’s not much longer before we stop reproducing entirely and “die on history’s hospice bed.”

This is going to happen anyway because cis men and cis women fundamentally don't seem to like each other at all. Most women don't want to have kids with someone they dislike and who also dislikes them. Why would they do that when they can just read an unrealistic romance novel? I think for men that's more normal forming relationships with people they dislike take that weird HP Lovecraft guy who thinks all women ruin everything but is apparently irrationally compelled to remain married to his wife (because 'people aren't rational.') I don't think any woman who felt that way would be able to maintain a relationship they'd just cheat on their husband and/or get divorced. Even then though I think most men have no interest in relationships with women now because they dislike them and vice versa and there are lots of alternatives and anime etc.

So HP Lovecraft guy (gonna keep calling him that,) is still an archaic outlier. And maybe he's doing what he's doing somewhat as a form of sexual competition to put other people off having relationships who knows.

I'm reading posts on this substack which seem to have various authors. They all seem to be centred around the longhouse concept which is essentially another way of saying matriarchy I think. There's some recurring pattern where they're putting themselves in an environment full of women or feminine people that I'm seeing repeated and then complaining about this. Like vibecamp guy who chose to go to a event full of trans women and nerdy guys who aren't exactly known to be super masculine. They have the energy of a teenage boy I guess who is complaining about his mum but while pretending to be masculine in some way that other men aren't. It's weird.

This guy decided to continue working in an office that is 80% female (so probably a career that is mostly female,) while disliking women. Which seems like a good idea to me:

The > 80% Female Workplace

I worked for five years at a media agency that was over eighty percent female. For the first few years, I reported to a straightforward young man of German Catholic ancestry, with blond hair and blue eyes. He was known to be devout although he otherwise kept his religion to himself, and thereby got away with it. He was no-nonsense, and I enjoyed serving under someone of high moral character. He in turn reported directly to the CEO, also a man. No women existed in my chain of command.

My boss had a long term girlfriend, and, although he was usually the first one in and last one out of the office, he spent almost no time whatsoever fraternizing with the broader team. That he no longer attended company events, even the sacred holiday party, was frequently mentioned to me by the women. He could get away with this, however, having a familial relationship with a member of the board of directors.

I had no such security. When we moved to a larger office in the same building, they placed me in the center of an open office floor plan, some distance away from my boss, and told us to communicate via Slack, thrusting me directly into the middle of the longhouse. Twitter anon Lom3z describes the historical longhouse as, “a large communal hall, serving as the social focal point for many cultures and peoples throughout the world that were typically more sedentary and agrarian.” I contend that the open floor plan of the modern office is indeed a very literal form of the longhouse.

Above all there is gossip, but also talk of the failures of males they are dating, how crazy brunch was that weekend, and their fifth wild bachelorette mini-vacation this year; the audible backdrop of what is in reality the formation of reputation. Through speech, women craft the invisible boundaries that protect their status, bind them together, and keep away unwanted advances from less desirable (beta) males.

Have you considered getting a job in a male dominated industry?

The executive suite was still at least three quarters male, and the women on the C-team were known as window dressing. Most of the women in the company, in fact, were wallpaper, save for a few quiet chubby white girls and rail thin Asian girls who accomplished, in line with Pareto, the vast majority of the actual work. By contrast, the office experienced frequent episodes of beautiful thin young blondes fresh out of college, breaking down in tears at 5:00pm when they failed to deliver on campaign objectives, or if a client spoke to them harshly. The primary function of such an employee is to attract new talent and signal the status of the firm.

This is probably the nicest thing any guy like this is ever going to say about an overweight woman. He is pointing out their weight specifically because it's considered taboo to do so which is also cringe.

Then it kind of just goes on complaining and analysing various types of women at his work, and how they've ruined work and so on. I'll have to take his word for it because the last time I was in a mostly female environment it was just A level art in sixth form which I finished at age 18. It wasn't very comfortable partly because I was never very good at fine art academically even though I kept studying related topics and partly for reasons I can't articulate maybe the room aesthetic didn't help either like very white/bright and open. Kind of a sensory nightmare I think. Also my social anxiety and stuff meant I never really connected with anyone in that class and it was kind of awkward just kind of being there while people had conversations around me. Of course I didn't see that as their fault.

And so the modern feminized work world has fundamentally become a place bereft of joy. Unless you find joy in snacking on chips, ordering what are fundamentally adult ice creams from coffee shops, attending the most asexually platonic of parties, and gossip. Until that day when a man can muster the courage to go out on his own, he grits and bears all of this, collecting the paycheck that barely sustains him and debases his soul. What can the man of action and power do but instead go out and form his own company and band together whatever wily males he can, and attempt to recreate what once was good?

This guy commenting has PTSD from being in female environments for 20 years lol:

At times I thought about writing this article, but now that you have, I don’t need to. Truly outstanding. I have escaped to a small company run by men. Work has never been so good. I am sure I will have PTSD for years because of my 20 years in female environments.

This was brilliant.

There's another type of management clone that I've noticed - male, but barely, probably not gay but can be mistaken for it, always speaking with a distinctive, soft, passive-aggressive uptalk. This seems to me the mirror image of the Dread Woman den mother you describe. A self-castrated man perfectly adapted to the digital Longhouse.

So-called "women's liberation" has had the same adverse effect on the workplace as affirmative action for blacks. Both movements were in the name of civil rights but empowered and favored people who lack merit, which was a civil wrong.

It's not really a surprise when black people and white women team up against them.

[Nyctophilia]

More tweets from the straights are really not OK:

A woman can only be a wife or a sex slave. Everything else represents a corruption of her nature.

This was well recognized in all the traditions around the world.

I don't think it was since most cultures have had other traditions where women were neither wives nor had sex in fact those women (and probably trans people,) were generally punished for having sex or getting married. Vestal virgins are kind of an exception where they could get married after 30 years or something like that but most didn't and obviously that was at the end of their reproductive life. Sometimes the point was some kind of spiritual thing and othertimes they more or less took on the same role as men or it was considered a third gender role.

Eg: nuns, burrnesha, vestal virgins, sadhin etc.

Vesta's acolytes vowed to serve her for at least thirty years, to study and practise her rites in service of the Roman State, and to maintain their chastity throughout. As well as their obligations on behalf of Rome, Vestals had extraordinary rights and privileges, some of which were granted to no others, male or female.

The Vestals took it in turns to supervise Vesta's hearth so that at least one Vestal was stationed there at all times. Vestals who allowed the sacred fire to go out were punished with whipping. Vestals who lost their chastity were guilty of incestum, and were sentenced to living burial, a bloodless death that must seem voluntary. Their sexual partners, if known, were publicly beaten to death. These were very rare events; most vestals retired with a generous pension and universal respect. They were then free to marry, though few of them did. Some appear to have renewed their vows.

Balkan sworn virgins (in Albanian: burrnesha) are women who take a vow of chastity and live as men in patriarchal northern Albanian society, Kosovo and Montenegro. To a lesser extent, the practice exists, or has existed, in other parts of the western Balkans, including Bosnia, Dalmatia (Croatia), Serbia and North Macedonia.[1]

In times when women had a prescribed role, burrnesha gave up their sexual, reproductive and social identities to acquire the same freedoms as men. They could dress as men, be head of the household, move freely in social situations, and take work traditionally open only to men.[2] National Geographic's Taboo estimated in 2002 that there were fewer than 102 Albanian sworn virgins left.[3] As of 2022, while there were no exact figures, twelve burrnesha were estimated to remain in Northern Albania and Kosovo.[2]

The sadhin are similar to Hijras culturally. Their development is quite different however, and their existence is much less prominent. It is a girl's choice to become a sadhin. They wear men's clothing and keep their hair short. They commonly keep their female name and are still treated as a female in society, although the status of sadhin, like hijra, transcends the gender labels of India. A sadhin candidate must be a virgin, and swear to celibacy.[3]: 40, 41 

I get it you want asceticism to be a male thing for some weird reason but tons of cultures didn't agree with you. Also that's just considering the roles where afab people were celibate and never marry since it's basically the complete opposite of what he said but there are also roles which were/are basically like third gender/butch lesbian roles.

The calalai are assigned female at birth but take on the roles of heterosexual men. They present themselves as men, hold masculine jobs and typically live with female partners to adopt children.[20] Although they typically dress masculinely, many calalai include distinct indicators of a unique calalai identity in their style and do not dress entirely like oroane, such as by wearing an earring only in the right ear (compared to the left ear for oroane and both ears for makkunrai).[18] The calalai are often expected to exhibit a mixture of feminine and masculine virtues, such as devotion and bravery, respectively.[18] Similarly, calalai can perform both masculine and feminine behaviors, and there is a certain degree of fluidity in this expression depending on the occasion.[19]

There is a considerably small number of calalai even compared to the bissu and the calabai because many are disincentivized from identifying as calalai. There is generally a higher level of discrimination towards people assigned female at birth who forego becoming mothers and wives, and they are often stereotyped as lazy. Much of their work is also out of public view, such as in agriculture, compared to calabai who are often seen working as cooks, hairdressers and wedding planners, and these contrasts may contribute to this stereotype.[18]

Given this dichotomy, why would any man choose a wife?!

I really need to find this guy's wife and to study her intensely. Or inform her about his twitter profile either way. He hasn't been doxed yet afaik, but mainstream media have mentioned him in articles I believe and he has over 100k followers.

I just can't picture the kind of person who would be aware of what he posts on twitter and OK with it. It's bizarre. I need to know what's going on.

I assume actually that he treats her very differently, she might not be aware and/or doesn't pay close attention. Probably doesn't use twitter much.

It all depends on your caste.

Worker - You are lucky to have a mate. You breed children for your master

Tradesman - You want someone to overtake your trade

Warrior - Slave girls are preferred with no wife, unless you are a king

Ascetic - You shun women

This order existed in Europe as well. With one big difference. The warriors were one step above the priests.

No tradition or civilization didn't have such a similar hierarchical ordering.

That hasn't been the case since the 1500s. Technological progress and geopolitical pressures have decimated that social organizational contract, and it's not coming back anytime soon. Good luck embodying the warrior spirit when a 13 year old shoots you with a 3d printed ghost gun

lol.

I have never considered objective reality the sole purview of men, but subjectivity, and the post-modernism that follows, are definitely more feminine.

This isn't really a sexual matter first. It's a reality issue first.

you have considered insufficiently. The devil is an androgyne

I'm now wondering if he's some kind of weird robotic experiment.

This is some old shoeonhead tweet from November I stumbled on:

i think culture has become so overly sexual that its not even sexual anymore. idk how to explain. like pop stars twerking in videos basically butt [BEEP] naked. it's just wallpaper. desensitized. i miss tasteful thigh. perhaps a side boob.

remember a televised discussion from many years ago where a conservative commentator was lamenting all the sex on television. Another guest, Frank Zappa, pointed out that there is no sex on American TV. "That's not sex. That's titillation. That's not the same thing."

No, at this point it's not even that.

It's mostly not designed to be sexual either but people have been talking about this for years like that 'everyone's beautiful and no one's horny' think piece. About the MCU etc. A lot of stuff is just designed to be status signalling and aggressive and in scripted stuff most characters don't have sexual chemistry etc.

I also don't think it's entirely a coincidence that fanfiction has become increasingly mainstream as time has gone on.

This seems like a weird take for a millennial because culture seems way less sexual to me than what I remember of the 00's

Possibly. I think she's misinterpreted the problem (if you want to call it that.) It's also just kind of an age thing where a lot of people just get less interested as they get older.

The best thing you can do is just break up with your ex and start growing your hair out:



That was unnecessary and also my sex drive is very dead today but I like her hair now.

So yeah a lot of 'sexual' music videos are designed to be more aggressive and often avoid expressing vulnerability entirely. Unlike say this which is also sexual but not doing that:



Or this which is expressing vulnerability:



Also more sexual and newer from 2015:



Now you get aggression (without the intent to be sexual either even when it is sexual you can tell it's often not the point,) and apathy I think. But in all honesty I'm not paying the most attention to mainstream pop music now but I'm familiar with a bunch of it. Also I guess it's somewhat a matter of personal preference. And I'm going off memory and probably better to do this when my sex drive isn't again half dead lol but there's other stuff that's worked for me from the 2000s that I don't think is completely different in kind from stuff now like the music video for Dirty by Christina Aguilera.

The hottest thing I've seen/heard in awhile in a music video is just the way Geddy Lee plays the bass about 5:34 minutes into La Villa Strangiato:



And various other things in their music/concert videos lol (like that gif I posted,) but I went back to that part many times.

Also that guy has an insane amount of tweets just about overweight women and insulting them. When I first stumbled on him (or close to) he was saying something pretty insane from what I remember but a lot of his tweets are just incredibly lazy sadism. Very low hanging fruit.

[Ironman]

I woke up after having less than five hours sleep. I thought it was one to inches of snow.

It was nearly one inch and a Winter Weather Advisory for an additional glaze of ice.

I am ready for a nap. It'll be rain when I wake up.

[Doseone]

Reality is infinitely intricate.

[Nyctophilia]

I am Zuk
I have been a chieftain, a gladiator, a warlord, a demigod

OK that's cool bro but I'm just here to deliver a christmas present to you right now. So if you could wrap this speech up.

Lol Runescape. Such a funny game sometimes.

This music is pretty good:



*goes on twitter after playing Runescape*

Many converts to the new right believe polyamory will follow trans as the Left Patronage Network's fresh conquest.

But I predict that it will not. True polyamory necessitates Mormon-style polygamy, which condones/serves straight male sexuality in ways the Longhouse can't stand.

Polyamory with one man and many wives will remain illegal. Other permutations, with a trans thing married to a non-binary lesbian with 5 gimp gay husbands will be allowed and celebrated

Sounds like a plan.

You should really start calling it 'the matriarchy' if you're going to do this longhouse sounds corny. This isn't the neolithic and architecture has come a long way.

I like how right wingers are undecided on what 'the next thing' is going to be. I think some think it's going to be Humans living as animals like an extreme version of petplay (with genetic modification eventually,) or obviously there's AI and robot stuff but that's already happening.

Impossible to do this legally tho

They will make you get a card that admits you're not straight (gay) and lots of guys like me won't get it and they'll get their laws

Wait, they’re gonna force people to be gay? The government is going to issue gay cards????

Yes. Yes we are. I mean I don't live in your country but still I want to join in.

You're so funny. And pathetic.

[Nyctophilia]

Also more sexual and newer from 2015:



Now you get aggression (without the intent to be sexual either even when it is sexual you can tell it's often not the point,) and apathy I think. But in all honesty I'm not paying the most attention to mainstream pop music now but I'm familiar with a bunch of it. Also I guess it's somewhat a matter of personal preference. And I'm going off memory and probably better to do this when my sex drive isn't again half dead lol but there's other stuff that's worked for me from the 2000s that I don't think is completely different in kind from stuff now like the music video for Dirty by Christina Aguilera.

Basically it's the same thing as with modern hip hop music which FD Signifier has gone into before when talking about men from about 41:43 into this video (and of course this music has similar influences)



It's lacking in sexuality and everything is about status and signalling status.

You get stuff like this:



Tell me why I need you over the next
The only thing you seem to give me is sex
You look dumb now that I've come to my senses
Your love is not impressive
Tongue kissin' in my king size bed
You can give me some goodbye head
You look dumb now that I've come to my senses
Your love is not impressive

And this appeals to some women sexually so I get that. I'm not the target audience but I know she's said she dislikes a bunch of her older work and that a lot of it was her getting over a bad past relationship and it seems mostly a [BEEP] you message to me rather than an expression of desire.

I like this track because it messes with gender but it's not meant to be sexual and it's actually a rape revenge fantasy:

Ashnikko added that her bad-ass alter ego brings justice to the world: "She kills rapists and she leaves behind daisies as a calling card," the singer explained. "So in the chorus, it's like 'daisies on your night stand' so if you wake up and see daisies then something quite sweet becomes quite terrifying."

I don't think I can post the music video for this here because it basically has a [BEEP] at the end of the video but they've somehow gotten away with it on YouTube lol? It's a weird situation where some guy's mouth turns into a vagina. But if you watch the video it emphasises my point even more. There's some sexist republican white guy who's a stereotype and the video is very clearly political:



WAP was maybe intended to be sexual but again it just gives me a kind of 'I'm being edgy and [BEEP] you if you don't put up with this' vibe:



And I think it's important and interesting because it makes people uncomfortable like how vaginas make people uncomfortable and the word [BEEP] makes people uncomfortable. But again it's serving a different purpose.

Zheani has a lot of music videos like this where it seems like a coping mechanism for past trauma and I think it's meant to be again an expression of witchy power:



Sort of like how in some cultures globally women will use their naked body to scare men. She incorporates a lot of occultism into her music too.

In Ivory Coast, Aya Virginie Toure[19] organized over 40,000 women[20] in numerous peaceful protests[21] in a revolution[22] against Laurent Gbagbo[23] in the Second Ivorian Civil War. Some were dressed in black, some were wearing leaves, and some were naked, all signs of an African curse directed toward Laurent Gbagbo.[24]

I'm not just making assumptions about that based on songs like that it's also:

"In my music, I come across like I wanna destroy, but there's the flipside of me [that's] maternal and wants to protect ? I'm almost proving to the adults in my life that it's not even fucking hard to take care of people," she says. "Like, why was it so fucking hard for you to give a stable, nurturing environment where I didn't have to watch horrible domestic violence ?"

Using music to purge her childhood trauma, Zheani says, "is the most embarrassing thing you could ever imagine." Prior to making music, she'd spent the past 28 years of her life hiding her upbringing. "My parents didn't even fucking work. I can't even say I was working class," she says. "But I was able to overcome that feeling of shame and turn it into pride and empowerment."

It's interesting because I don't think there's much music or anything that really plays into a femdom dynamic and I'd be interested in someone doing it genuinely without trying to make some kind of girlboss political statement or to say [BEEP] you to some ex boyfriend or something. There's nothing wrong with that I'd just genuinely like to see something else.

If you listen to Meg Myers song that I linked above in the quote it's doing neither of those things and it has some very aggressive and sadistic lyrics so it's quite interesting and in some ways it's kind of like some of those post-punk revival songs from the late 2000s where they did something similar:





but ultimately it's still kind of submissive and being read that way. I remember reading comments on this a while ago and there was a guy who interpreted it as her being submissive and being the object again. Which I think comes across in some of the lyrics. 'How do you want me' for example. So I would say that song is more ambiguous.

It's not even a femdom thing I'm looking for I think though necessarily that's one thing. A woman or anyone who isn't a man expressing genuine desire at all would be a start right?

I'm wondering whether it's even possible for someone feminine to create a song that expresses a kind of dominant sexuality without it falling into any of the boxes I described.

I think women are pretty bad at articulating desire because they're very self conscious and defensive. I know it's possible because I see it on Tumblr etc. But I do wonder if they did whether it would just be interpreted in those ways anyway. But like the Meg Myers track gets about as close as I've seen anyone manage so. It's clearly not impossible.

Another thing that's kind of amusing in the comments:

She is very attractive. And I'm straight. She's a little thing with a powerful voice. And very magnetic charisma

Agree. I had to add my own comment, as how a guy, can find another guy, as beautiful, and not have " tendencies" associated with it. When you see the hard work, and dedication, an artist has put in, to the art. One tends to appreciate it more. Anyways, Meg.. definitely pulls out the emotional side of me. She, to me is that release, so pure, and guttural, that a guy just can't deliver. Seeing her on stage, is probably one of the most intimate things I have ever seen/done. I'm just in that moment.

You do you but I don't think I've ever heard a straight guy say that about another guy. I'm sure you don't find her physically attractive but you can just say you find her music hot. It would make more sense.

right? I mean. Saying another man is handsome doesn't make you gay. Just makes you one that admits and can admit to another man being attractive. In most cases. Other men get envious, but what's the issue with admitting to it, right? She is magnetic

thou doth protest too much ....says it all about you 😏

um, no, hon. You're 100% wrong. Lmao. Nice try though. I'm straight as an arrow, and so is my husband, I can assure you of that. You're dead wrong. Not everyone has a little of gay in them. That's just not true. Never found myself attracted to a woman. Sorry to disappoint you. And my husband isn't hey, nor has he ever thought about it. Nope. Lmao. This was fun.

I like this song by her too because it also seems to be kind of a conversation about that:



I gotta know that your heart beats fast and
I gotta know I'm the only one for you
What have I become?
I'm a fucking monster
When all I wanted was something beautiful

My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love

Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
Oh, well it aches and it aches
You make me wanna die
I gotta kill you my love
I gotta kill you my love
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side

It's like those obsessive kpop fans. They're very obsessive to the point of insanity but most of the time if you have an estrogen dominant hormone system you're not going to feel that way. It's just apathy and indifference. I think our culture works pretty hard to suppress any female desire too (just in case the hormones weren't enough lol.) But tbh we also do that with male desire. It's different groups of people doing it but the end result is the same. Nobody has any self confidence or wants to have sex.

The sexuality where you just focus on other people's desire for you and just become an object.. OK that's I guess enjoyable for most women (I assume based on fetish interests of most women, there are more submissive women. There's even an imbalance with there being more submissive men than dominant women,) so I'm not criticising that but it seems kind of half formed in some way in many cases. You've just given someone else control over everything.

Have you ever looked at a guy and kind of wanted to bite him?

And I can find things I like about male bodies. Like, they're very warm. I love it when you get under the covers with a man and he warms you up. But that's when the lesbian voice comes into my head and says, ?But are you attracted to men? Or do you just like being warm??

My attraction to women is very different. I look at a beautiful woman and it's just like, Oh nooooo. You're gorgeous, you're beautiful? This is going to destroy me! 🙂

You know, it can actually be painful how beautiful a woman is. I've never once been in pain over male beauty. But around Joanne, once I was open about my feelings and things got bad, there'd be moments I'd have to just look away from her and be like, ?Don't even enter my line of sight right now, you're too beautiful, I can't stand it.?

There's a kind of sick masochism in wanting someone who doesn't want you back. It's insatiable, like an addiction. And on the flipside, there's an intense erotic thrill in being desired. I think that's what got me interested in men in the first place. It's that they were interested in me. And that's pretty interesting. I've felt desired by men in a way I've never truly felt desired by women.

You know, a man will glower at you with that agitated, carnivorous desperation.

[BEEP] me up, king! 😩

God that's hot. Gets me every time.

But notice how excitement at the attention and the flattery of being desired is not the same thing as attraction to men. There's a difference between ?I want you? and ?I like that you want me.?

But for a long time, I confused one for the other. And one reason I was able to do that is that the normative sexual role for women is to be pursued, possessed, desired, seduced, dominated by men?it's all very passive. And in most of the sexual encounters I've had with men, I've taken a very submissive role.

Sometimes I just submit to the glower and let him do things to me. And I do think that the thrill of being desired is a valid thing to want. I like that feeling myself, and I do genuinely enjoy taking on a more submissive role sometimes. But you have to go about it thoughtfully, because if you don't, sexual submission can be a way to avoid confronting what your desires actually are.

It's freedom from freedom. And if you're ashamed of your sexual orientation, and ashamed of your transsexual body, and ashamed of having any sexual feelings at all because of stigma about trans women being fetishists, then relinquishing responsibility for your own desires by letting someone else take control, can be the only way you can enjoy sex at all. And for a while it was almost the only way I could enjoy it.

And I was able to convince myself that that was normal, because the sexual situation of a lot of cis straight women isn't really that much more liberated. Like, I read 50 Shades of Grey years ago, and totally identified with the fantasy. And later I thought that was evidence that I had normative female desires, nevermind that I was identifying with the midlife crisis fantasies of a repressed English housewife longing to be brutalized by a capitalist tyrant.

I mean, not to shame women who genuinely do enjoy a healthier version of that fantasy; I think a lot of women pointlessly suffer under a kind of feminist guilt about that. But what makes me different is that for me, submission to a man was simply the only way I could enjoy sex without shame. And that's a lot of what I did for a couple years, even though my real sexual attraction is to women. Whereas, even in the most patriarchal situation, straight women are ultimately attracted to men, and sexually aroused by male bodies.

Or are they? Gay men certainly are, and gay women are just rhapsodic about women, but a lot of straight women are just kind of ?meh? about male bodies and men in general. What is that about? 🧐I just... I just do not understand straight women. I don't think I ever will. And that's okay. I'm just gonna accept my bewilderment, and move on with my lesbian life.

On the other hand I also think submitting to someone else takes a lot of courage and trust because you're making yourself vulnerable and that's also looked down on culturally. Everything is looked down on it's so healthy lol. I think you have to be very into it to even do that.

I'm very voyeuristic so it's difficult to imagine myself in a sexual context in general. In any context.

I'm also saying this during a period where women on dating sites constantly vocalise that they only want to date someone over 6 foot and arguably have tons of standards and opinions they're very vocal about so it's a bit insane. But I guess I'm not talking about them. The 5 women that even use tinder lol (has a 70% male userbase apparently.) And I'm still not buying it all the time anyway.

I think there's a lot of people on these sites who are like fulfilling some kind of cultural script/routine where they want to prove something to themself by increasing numbers in a spreadsheet (and you know some people actually do have spreadsheets.) So in the case of a woman they put down these traits they've been told are attractive and then they go on a date or something and the guy pays and they feel special because guys want them and they're giving them things but they're ambivalent. They don't really desire them. And maybe they don't really desire anything.

And that's my optimistic thought of the day. 😂

Not that this is original. I know a lot of people think this is just how all women are. They're cynical and just want money. I don't think so. I think that's just a distraction. From the brokenness.

I'm sure I've said all of this before in other posts but I don't think the correct response to this is 'there's too much sex' like shoeonhead and others argue:

i think culture has become so overly sexual that its not even sexual anymore. idk how to explain. like pop stars twerking in videos basically butt [BEEP] naked. it's just wallpaper. desensitized. i miss tasteful thigh. perhaps a side boob.

No that isn't the issue imo and I don't think shame or prudish cultural norms has ever helped or solved the problem or will now. It didn't work for the Victorians, it didn't work in the 50s, and it's not going to work now. There's a complete lack of desire.





Neither of the music videos worked for me from what I remember ironically there's a male and female version so I'm just going to link this:



These are the music videos though:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axTSc3e6wu8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mhgfXgwdls

The girl one is age restricted lol.

It's been a decade since most of this music.

I think this is the best we're going to get:

Sometimes my daughters will casually mention in conversation something terrible going on in their dad's life. I tell them on the phone "oh that sucks for him" or "that sounds rough" while absolutely gleeful at the news. It's a good thing this news is always over the phone, because I'm great at modulating my voice but my face refuses to lie.

We broke up on a Tuesday
Kicked me out with the rent paid
Ruined my credit, stole my cute aesthetic
Who knew that we'd let it get this bad when it ended?

It's comical, bridges you burn
If karma's real, hope it's your turn
I heard from Katie you're losing it lately
Moved back with your parents and date girls who are 18

It's hot when you have a meltdown
In the front of your house and you're getting kicked out
It's hot when you're drinking downtown
And you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth

Oh, God
And it's coming around, yeah, it's coming around
Yeah, it's coming around, oh, God
Oh, God

People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching
You ruin your life, you losing your mind, you dyeing your hair
People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching
You crashing your car, you breaking your heart, you thinking I care
People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma

Wishing you the best in the worst way
Using your distress as foreplay
Six months since April and I'm doing better
No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater

But it's hot when you have a meltdown
In the front of your house and you're getting kicked out
It's hot when you're drinking downtown
And you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth

Hey look someone wrote a song about social media.

And when you think about it it's Panic! At The Disco for girls.







I mean Panic was for girls too but you know.

And this lyric:

Ruined my credit, stole my cute aesthetic


Is very Jack off Jill Nazi Halo/album written mostly about abusive relationship with Twiggy (Marilyn Manson's ex bassist and guitarist)



Take a souvenir and stop your staring
Just cause I'm screaming
Don't mean I'm sharing
Can't keep my mouth shut
If you keep that dress on
You can't negotiate
Not with me this time

You're so predictable no shadow of doubt
When you are suffering know who sold you out
[BEEP] your opinions
[BEEP] your lack of spine
When you are miserable
Know that I'm just fine

The music was better imo lol. We've escalated from being fine to it being a kink. LOL.

I think the dreads were inspired by her but he probably stole parts of his look during the 90s from Courtney Love as well. Like this:



There's another song that people often say is about Courtney Love and how she stole Kat Bjelland's image but she's denied the song was about that:

The lead single on the album, "Bruise Violet," is said to be an attack on Courtney Love.[25] However, Bjelland denied this, saying instead that "Violet" was the name of a muse to both her and Love.[26]

In the mid--1980s, musicians Kat Bjelland and Courtney Love shared an apartment together while playing in the band Pagan Babies.[3] During this time, the pair would often borrow one another's clothes.[9] Both are generally credited by publications including i-D, the Guardian and Rolling Stone as inventing the kinderwhore fashion style, however both dispute the other's involvement.[3][10][11] In interviews, Love credited the inspiration for the style as coming from KatieJane Garside of Daisy Chainsaw and Christine Amphlett of Divinyls.[12][13] Furthermore, during this period, many of the style's prominent characteristics such as vintage clothing, velvet and 1970s polyester were cheap and easily accessible.[14] i-D observed that the name "kinderwhore" was coined by Melody Maker journalist Everett True,[3] whereas the Guardian credited the term to Bjelland.[1]

Inspiring music and song lyrics for multiple generations :') very deep. Powerful stuff.

But it can be actually.

I would like to think--in my heart of hearts--that I'm changing some psychosexual aspects of rock music. Not that I'm so desirable. I didn't do the kinder-whore thing because I thought I was so hot. When I see the look used to make one more appealing, it pisses me off. When I started, it was a What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? thing. My angle was irony.[8]

Yeah in the 2010s I think that flipped a bit (with the 'nymphet' and girl blogging thing,) but not entirely. It's just we exist in a post-irony age so it can get confusing. Some people are doing things to be edgy and some people enjoy being feminine and infantilised. I don't get it myself it's not my thing. It's never been my thing but some people like that so I think that's OK if that's their thing.

But it does get confusing sometimes because sometimes there are people who lean into that image and I don't mean in the obvious transgressive way Courtney did back in the day, I mean like Grimes where they come across as a manic pixie dream girl but then talk about hating being infantilised. She said something like 'I don't want to be infantilised just because I refuse to be sexualised' and she doesn't like being called cute but of course there are less sexual aesthetics you can adopt that aren't so neotenic.

It is difficult depending on your bone structure though. I've always had people assume I was younger than my age and stuff like that and I hated it. Used to get picked on for being short and I still get comments about my height from my brother all the time since I'm short but I know he's just doing that because that's what guys do and there are advantages to being short but I don't like how it limits me overall. She's taller than average I think so I think she could avoid that image she also acts a bit differently in interviews.

And I know she's going for a fairy + alien + ethereal kind of vibe and so she sings in this high pitched way but I guess it's difficult to get across. Also the anime influence makes it more difficult. I mean anime is so neotenic anime girls especially so that will often end up happening. I think you can get away from it a bit by being aggressive but there's a big difference between something like this:



And something like this you know?



The second one comes across as more girlish because of the high pitched girlish parts and other aesthetic choices. I believe she's 30? But it's a aesthetic that teenagers wear. I'm saying that as a statement not a criticism btw. I think it fits the lyrics:

Do I make you sick? It's fucking sickening
Oh, you're a pretty [BEEP] but, won't put your feet in
You talk that big fight and you play dress up
But you're a daddy's girl, playing with doll parts

Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with doll parts
Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with- fucking napalm
Playing with doll parts

Oh we can go further too but at a certain point it's tipping into masculinity in a more obvious way and that defeats the point if the point is to seem feminine but not childish or sexual.



I recommend screaming to everyone it's a lot of fun. But I don't live alone so I don't.

Angela Gossow is straight too (I think could be bisexual, she's married to a man,) unlike OTEP Shamaya who is a lesbian, and I haven't seen her in interviews so it could just be natural for her like the singer Pink but if not and it's just a performance it's actually impressive. Like what Stephanie Beatriz does with her character Rosa Diaz on Brooklyn 99. This is very politically incorrect but I don't really care.



And if you don't want to do any of these things and just have pure girlish vibes then it's an even bigger challenge and it's easier again depending on your bone structure.

This is very feminine and fairy tale like but nobody's going to consider Florence Welch to be 'cutesy'



Because of her vocals and her bone structure. I mean she's older now obviously but even back then.

I guess Grimes does challenge it a bit though in songs like Power etc. And it's not clear if she's changed her mind since she posted that rant years ago. Since then she's had kids with Elon Musk, dislikes being called mum so her kids call her by her first name, she's suing Elon for custody of their kids, may or may not have had a brief relationship with Chelsea Manning (probably not imo,) and tweets about being a middle aged man:

I'm so gay I'm utterly cancelled by the gay community for my deep unrelenting love of aircraft because my deepest truth is that I am a middle aged white man. Ill "come out" whenever this become tolerable to the gay community but l don't rly believe in gender or orientation or anything like that if I'm being honest. Being alive and loving humans seems fine to me

I've just realised that Grimes' life is barely less insane than this song:



Tbf struggling to get custody of your own kids is a very middle aged divorced man thing.

I'm reading up on the Grimes tweets and giving up

I tried to read meaning into that tweet and I'm insane so I can like for example a lot of liberals have randomly decided recently that space exploration (and honestly a lot of scientific research/technology/transhumanism etc,) is bad because they hate Elon Musk and because transhumanism is full of neoreactionaries. I know I always like to throw the baby out with the bath water. So maybe that's what she's getting at? But honestly trying to figure it out is headache inducing and unnecessary. Though I clearly have nothing better to do.

But yeah the line gets confusing.

It's like that episode of New Girl where Nick is trying to figure out if this woman he works with is into him or not because she won't stop being ironic. That's most people now. Most people are that woman. No wonder we're all autistic.

I'm going to need everyone to stop. We're going to set fire to 4chan and that's about it.

I was talking about Mark Fisher once with my brother I think probably something related to hauntology because there was a period a few years ago where that would come into my head lots and still does from to time, and Mark Fisher committed suicide and my brother was like 'it's probably a bad idea to take philosophical advice from someone who killed himself.' Or something like that. And while I don't agree with that fully (and most if not all philosophers throughout history seem at the very least mentally ill. People don't sit around thinking lots without that being the case,) when I think about 4chan and post-irony and David Foster Wallace and Anglo culture I think... There's a problem somewhere anyway.

So I haven't read his work (obviously) but he supposedly invented post-irony but then also probably warned about irony.

In literature, David Foster Wallace is often described as the founder of a "postironic" literature. His essays "E Unibus Pluram"[2] and "Fictional Futures and the Conspicuously Young" describe and hope for a literature that goes beyond postmodern irony.[3] Other authors often described as postironic are Dave Eggers,[4] Tao Lin,[5] and Alex Shakar.[6][7]

Whereas in postmodern irony, something is meant to be cynically mocked and not taken seriously, and in New Sincerity, something is meant to be taken seriously or "unironically", post-irony combines these two elements by either having something absurd taken seriously or be unclear as to whether something is meant to be ironic.[8]

"Irony and cynicism were just what the U.S. hypocrisy of the fifties and sixties called for. That's what made the early postmodernists great artists. The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates. The virtuous always triumph? Ward Cleaver is the prototypical fifties father? "Sure." Sarcasm, parody, absurdism and irony are great ways to strip off stuff?s mask and show the unpleasant reality behind it. The problem is that once the rules of art are debunked, and once the unpleasant realities the irony diagnoses are revealed and diagnosed, "then" what do we do? Irony?s useful for debunking illusions, but most of the illusion-debunking in the U.S. has now been done and redone. Once everybody knows that equality of opportunity is bunk and Mike Brady's bunk and Just Say No is bunk, now what do we do? All we seem to want to do is keep ridiculing the stuff. Postmodern irony and cynicism's become an end in itself, a measure of hip sophistication and literary savvy. Few artists dare to try to talk about ways of working toward redeeming what's wrong, because they'll look sentimental and naive to all the weary ironists. Irony?s gone from liberating to enslaving. There?s some great essay somewhere that has a line about irony being the song of the prisoner who?s come to love his cage."

Oh my God:

I can't believe David Foster Wallace used 4chan in 1987 #thebroomofthesystem

I mean the problem in Grimes case is not necessarily post-irony because it also sounds like a tweet an AI would write and she does want to be AI so that sort of fits.



I just discovered this song:

Lay down
Take everything you wonder off the sea
Lay down
I could be your Hades and you could be my Persephone

Everyday I get less and less comfortable with the fact I used that as a username for almost a decade. I should have listened to Alan Moore.

I'm going to keep editing this post forever apparently.

[Nyctophilia]

Katherine Lynne Bjelland was born on December 9, 1963,[3] in Salem, Oregon, to Lynne Irene Bjelland (nee Higginbotham).[4] She is of English and German descent.[5] Bjelland was raised by her mother and stepfather, Lyle Bjelland, until age 3, when her mother separated from her stepfather and gave him full custody, after which he raised her as his own.[5][6] She was not made aware of her biological father until age 18, and did not meet him until age 23.[5] "[It] was weird", Bjelland recalled of the revelation. "I was like, 'Huh? I have a different dad? I'm not Norwegian?!'"[5]

Bjelland was raised in Woodburn, a small town north of Salem, which she described as "predominantly Orthodox Russians and Hispanics, so being white [was] more like being a minority... We lived at the edge of town, so there was complete wilderness behind us."[7] Bjelland's stepfather subsequently remarried, after which she claimed to have been physically and verbally abused by his wife.[8][9] "You know, I really hate to talk about it because she's great now, but in my childhood she was very abusive", Bjelland said. "It probably did help my creativity a lot [though]. I was always grounded. I hate to talk about it because I feel like she doesn't think that she did it, but she was [abusive] and it influenced my life quite a great deal."[9]

That's a very unusual childhood. Specifically the stepfather part. My grandad's mum left my grandad with his dad though but took his brother with her. I'm not sure how old my grandad was at the time but I guess old enough that he remembered and it affected him negatively. I think his dad was also kind not the best dad and drunk a lot (I don't really know/remember the specifics just sort of remember my dad mentioning that at some point.)

His brother eventually moved to New Zealand I think (it was either New Zealand or Australia but I think the former.) Which I think my grandad always wanted to do but never did. My dad also wanted to move to different areas of the UK and I vaguely remember some other country entirely when I was a kid. I've mentioned that his mum my nan was born outside the UK entirely (and also that grandma that left his dad was from Wales she later moved to London I think,) often kids of immigrants will become really nationalistic to compensate but tbh my dad's nationalistic tendencies may also be a coping mechanism for unfulfilled wishes tbh but he did travel a lot for work so he got to see a bunch of the world anyway (he hates Paris lol but liked Singapore,) but usually was busy obviously.

I was also like this growing up I became fixated on the countries and cities the bands I listened to came from initially (well some of them,) like Finland and San Francisco, was also interested in New Orleans because of Anne Rice novels, then later got into Japan a lot but that was unrelated to music although I did later get into Japanese bands + music. I guess listening to Patrick Wolf helped me feel more connected to the UK a bit as a teenager.

When we went on holiday to France I'd always dread coming back. I was so much happier there. Part of me still wants to go back to Northern France but just because I miss the landscape. I'm also very into the North American desert atm obviously. Weirdly I don't think that was mostly influenced by IAMX (whose music I did listen to a bunch and he was my main famous crush for most of the 2010s and he moved there lol,) but by The Sims 2 + The Sims 4 Strangerville + storm area 51, alien aesthetics, Tumblr stuff, the Roswell TV show which I watched at some point int he early 2010s, and TOOL lol...

I was also very like this growing up:



Always trying to escape to London especially Camden Town. I still like going to arcades lol. I used to like playing arcade games in France lol. I don't think my interest in arcade games is related though lol.

Part of that was that I hated school though and so I externalised a lot of the issues I had with school onto both my hometown and the UK.

But I don't think that's the only factor since on both sides of my family people have moved around a lot (though sometimes from necessity,) but my nan had to leave her country because she got chucked out by the soviet army (that's putting what happened there lightly there were mass rapes etc,) but I'm sure she mentioned trying to go to Sweden but it didn't work out and I think she mentioned she'd always liked the UK and the rest of her family stayed in Germany maybe some went back as well (at least to visit,) but after everything that happened she didn't want to go back there. My dad is always talking about how my nan had no choice but to come here when complaining about people coming here now. And of course there's a difference between refugees and economic migrants but he also complains about refugees not staying in the first country they arrive in and the awkward fact is I don't think she had to come here. Most of her family ended up in Germany lol. German was her native language and Germany was much nearer.

My nan's family also moved around a bunch according to her. I dunno how much of that is accurate though simply because I'm going off word of mouth and there was obvious incentive to lie about German heritage, but I know they lived in at least two different areas of Prussia. She also says she had family members who lived in Sweden and then moved to Russia and yeah I don't know how accurate all that is but apparently her dad spoke several languages Russian, Polish, German, French but none of her family were French.) I mean I could figure it out using a DNA test probably, but you have to pay for those and I don't know how comfortable I am about that being stored somewhere atm.

So yeah anyway I assume this is partly some genetic thing. The wanderlust.

My brother is the complete opposite. He can be pretty much happy anywhere and doesn't have any wanderlust and has never had any angst about being from the UK or our town. Though I don't think he's totally against travel either.

I think what's happening with black and white people (in particular,) in the Anglosphere is pretty unhealthy and I'm curious if getting genetic tests would help at all. Probably not but some people seem to think the solution to white nationalism for example is embracing the parts of your heritage that were mushed (lol mushed this is definitely the best verb,) down into 'white' and also I guess mushed down into 'American' obviously my own family has been 'mushed' down as well into British + English. But I dunno man it's not like everyone who has a strong connection with every part of their heritage doesn't also do weird racial identity stuff. Plus doing the whole 'I'm 1/3535235234532th% this country I've never been to' thing is definitely cringe. Possibly no decent solution.

I do feel like before we adopted American politics though the UK had a different relationship to race than the US did because most people here have a better idea of what their background is compared to the US, and the situation was also more complicated than black people as a group being the most impoverished here and it still is more complicated really even though we're apparently going to ignore our issues in favour of adopting the US narrative and lump everyone into homogenous racial blobs. That seems like a good idea too.

I have come across anecdotes of school teachers who teach at schools with predominantly African American students who have pointed out that their students who are immigrants from African countries (can't remember if they specified which,) are better students than African American students.

And if I google search now this has been apparently noted more than anecdotally:

https://gadflyonthewallblog.com/2018...can-americans/

African Immigrants Excel Academically. Why Don’t African Americans?

The presence of melanin in your skin shouldn’t affect your academics.

But in America, it does.

On average, black students achieve less academically than white students. They have worse grades, lower test scores, meager graduation rates and fewer achieve advanced degrees.

The question is – why?

Why does pigmentation matter so much in this country? What about it brings such negative academic consequences?

This is especially apt since it doesn’t apply to foreign born black students who come here to study or those who recently emigrated here.

In fact, they see just the opposite effect – they earn some of the best grades, have some of the highest test scores, and disproportionately graduate from high school and achieve advanced degrees.

This is something that distinguishes foreign-born Africans – especially those from Sub-Saharan Africa – even from other immigrants. African immigrants sit near the top of the scale of so-called model minorities.

Part of it seems to be qualities selected for in the immigration process, itself.

We don’t let just anyone come to the U.S. We have rigorous qualifications and prerequisites that have to be met. For instance, students who want to study here must get high marks on the SAT, Act and/or the TOFFEL – the language proficiency test. To do that, they need the money and resources to study for these exams. They are already some of the best achievers in their native countries.

Moreover, there is a huge cultural difference coming from Africa as opposed to coming from the United States. Native-born Africans have to deal with the effects of post-colonialism. It wasn't so long ago that European nations conquered and plundered the African continent for gold and resources. That era has mostly ended, but those living there still have to deal with lingering consequences. This has an effect on everything from gender, ethnicity, class, language, family relationships, professions, religions and nation states.

However, native-born Africans do not have to navigate the world of American white supremacy. The affects of being black in this country may be much more harmful than negotiating post-colonialism.

For instance, most mainland Africans enjoy intact cultures. They are not the product of families that were torn apart, religions that were displaced and entire belief systems, world views and genealogies that were stolen.

Nigerian cultures, in particular, highlight the importance of learning.

https://www.chron.com/news/article/D...-S-1600808.php

"If you see an average Nigerian family, everybody has a college degree these days," said Udeh, 32, a physical therapist at Memorial Hermann-Texas Medical Center. "But a post-graduate degree, that's like pride for the family."

Nigerian immigrants have the highest levels of education in this city and the nation, surpassing whites and Asians, according to Census data bolstered by an analysis of 13 annual Houston-area surveys conducted by Rice University.

Although they make up a tiny portion of the U.S. population, a whopping 17 percent of all Nigerians in this country held master's degrees while 4 percent had a doctorate, according to the 2006 American Community Survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau. In addition, 37 percent had bachelor's degrees.

Obviously the far right would argue 'it's just genetic' and 'those immigrants are extreme outliers,' and 'everyone is born with a set level of intelligence and their life is entirely mapped out in advance' but I don't think we know that. And then it's complicated further by this weird idea they're running with where genetics means 'fixed forever.' When obviously genes respond to environment. I mean I know intelligence tests aren't great at least not for everyone, because I've gotten very different results on different tests throughout my life...

[Nyctophilia]

I'm so gay I'm utterly cancelled by the gay community for my deep unrelenting love of aircraft because my deepest truth is that I am a middle aged white man. Ill "come out" whenever this become tolerable to the gay community but l don't rly believe in gender or orientation or anything like that if I'm being honest. Being alive and loving humans seems fine to me

I am finding the ongoing sexism annoying. As I usually do:

Did you take LSD with Elon and accidentally mind meld like that one episode from Jimmy Neutron...cause bebe you still got done fragments in there.

some*

sooo.. ur str8 with extra pickme. and we know factually you don't love aircraft- remember when u got ur son's name wrong bc of that?

And I think this might have actually helped me to figure out the tweet lol. He is literally a middle aged white man. They met over a rationalist community in joke that she'd included in a music video before talking to him (so she was already connected to that whole circle before then or at least aware of it basically.) She also talks about her love of space and space travel in this 2010 video:



But people tend to assume because she's a musician she just adopted all that stuff from Elon.

The second person responding over what could potentially be a typo has this bio:

pseudonymous writer. research biology. "engineer". Will be remembered in 250yrs. Still pulling off "very goodlooking".

So they think highly of themselves lol.

Wow so you're telling me that not only did this guy sell more EVs than any other automaker on Earth in 2023, launch 80% of payload to orbit

But he did it while on LSD, cocaine, ecstasy & ketamine? Just when you thought the guy couldn?t get more impressive

what a dumb smear job

apparently "how is elon is he getting enough sleep" is code for ?is he on drugs? 🤡

I would be surprised if he wasn't I know most high status people are doing something - often cocaine. During the period where I was in a discord server with some of the rationalist community some guy who started university when most people start high school and was very autistic invited me and a bunch of people to do hallucinogenic drugs in the desert. (He was an adult at that point,) But that was never really going to happen but a lot of them talk about doing them on social media. Hallucinogens are very in fashion right now in general. So he might do lsd. He's like 2 degrees removed from people who do at the most.

It's also kind of dumb to shame him for doing something a lot of people are doing to remain functional though really.

London has recently been reported by the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction (EMCDDA) as being the "Cocaine Capital of Europe".

When Jaime Blaustein was interviewed for his first job at Morgan Stanley in 2012, he was hooked on heroin.

Blaustein's drug use had spiralled throughout his university studies as he moved from drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana to using cocaine, crack cocaine and, eventually, heroin.

By the time he graduated, despite five attempts at rehab, he was a "full-on heroin addict, shooting up in the bathroom", he told Financial News.

But he was able to hold himself together enough to get through the interviews and secure offers at Morgan Stanley and Wells Fargo within their wealth management units.

He took a job at Morgan Stanley, but it quickly unravelled. "I was not even able to study for my exams, so I bailed within five months," he said.

Blaustein went back to Wells Fargo and persuaded them to take him on, but continued to battle addiction. After a year in the role, he took short-term disability leave and booked himself into his seventh, and final, rehab in December 2013.

"I was intellectually beat, spiritually and morally bankrupt," he said. "You could argue I should have done it two or three years earlier, but if there was even a 1% window in my mind to get back on to drugs, an addict will use that. I'd reached that point of surrender, and linked up with people that showed me a path to getting clean."

[...]

"Cocaine is so normalised now, we're just going to see addiction problems among City professionals going up and up," he said. "During times of uncertainty and fear, people are anaesthetising themselves with cocaine. A lot of City workers have also come off the back of record bonuses and have been spending more on drugs."

[...]

"I've seen a lot of people get into an amphetamine-induced psychosis," he said. "But there's a lot of people that are serious during the week, and then at the weekend there's a lot of coke and alcohol."

"Many of them cite the work environment and the workload as a big driver of that," he said, adding that former Wall Street contacts have got in touch since he launched his new mental health venture.

"Stimulant drugs go with the territory for junior bankers," said Kingdon. "It often escalates into cocaine use, but many people can take years before they eventually seek help for addiction."

According to the latest findings from King?s College London, the major city is consuming more than eight tonnes of pure cocaine each year ? more than Barcelona, Amsterdam and Berlin combined!

The study found that the average daily amount of pure cocaine that Londoners are consuming was 23kg with a street value of more than ?1bn.

Most concerning of all, Dr Leon Barron, a forensic scientist at the London College advises that they found "sustained cocaine usage across the week" with only a small rise at the weekend.

I think a lot of students do amphetamines now to get by in university.

"I've always done coke. I wouldn't class myself as an addict, I just enjoy to use socially - and so do most of my friends and colleagues,? she says, ?Pre-Corona, I worked long, stressful hours so would spend my Thursday and Friday night coked up at bars. I often travelled for sales conferences and everyone would use coke in the evenings as we entertained clients and use it again at the conference to power us through.?

Lockdown did, however, have a positive impact on some millennial drug users such as Lauren*. She?s a 29-year-old corporate lawyer who lives alone in London working long hours in an incredibly stressful role. "I started taking coke at parties every now and then when I was in my teens,? she says. "But it was never serious or regular. It?s my job that has made me a regular user. I literally needed it to stay awake."

Lauren says she?d been using cocaine at least once a day for the last seven years. ?In the back of my mind, I always knew that wasn?t good, I always knew that was unhealthy and that I should stop, but the incessant nature of my job just kept me dependent. I could never break the cycle.?

When lockdown measures were announced Lauren decided to move back in with her parents in rural Cornwall.

?It was hell at first, my body reacted very badly,? she says, ?But I have now been clean since mid-March 2020 and I am so proud of myself. I am working from home and the hours are still punishing, but literally not being able to get drugs here, has meant I have just had to push through. I have proven to myself that I can exist without it.?

I imagine living in Cornwall helps yeah.

Cocaine, class and me: everyone in this town takes drugs, all the time ? they?re part of the civic culture

When I moved out of London, my plan was to write a book. Instead, I ended up working in a chicken shop, watching drugs tear through a working-class town - and my own life

man walks into a chicken shop. This sounds like the beginning of a joke. Perhaps it is. For 18 months, I have worked in a chicken shop, and some days my situation feels like a punchline. In 2015, I quit my job at a property magazine in London and moved to Aberdeen, with two suitcases and a grand plan to write a book about the oil industry. Two years later, I washed up in a refinery town in the north of England, with no money and an unfinished manuscript. I learned my scale. I got a job frying things.

Anyway, a man walks into a chicken shop, this chicken shop that I work in, and pulls his top up, for the benefit of the paying customers. He has a knife wound in his chest. It looks fresh. The beads of blood along the gash have barely coagulated.

"Now then," he says to his friend, whom he has spotted in the queue. "Got stabbed the other day, didn?t I?" He doesn?t sound upset. He's just telling his friend about his week. Violence is part of the local vernacular. If words fail you, you call on other means of communication. One of the first things I learned when I took this job was that it was considered very gauche to remark on a person's black eyes and split knuckles. In my home town, people would pass comment. But here, you have to act as if it's normal, to walk around bearing the bruises of a recent fight. To a certain extent, it is.

I print the order out, and take it to the kitchen.

"There?s a man out there, showing off his stab wound,? I say. ?He seems pretty happy." My colleague meets my eye, and tilts his head towards the bathroom. It is a tiny movement, imperceptible to anyone else, but I know what it means. He has racked up a line for me, on the shelf behind the cistern. I should go and do it now.

Sounds about right.

Oh my God I just remembered a long time ago maybe when I was a young adult or in my late teens I had a dream where I was running home and there were all these police cars and fires everywhere and then when I got to my house some guy ripped open my arm with a knife and I went into my house and into the living room and my dad was sitting there and he was like 'in my day we just went to the pub' which I later found out was what he did after getting into a motorbike accident at one point before taking himself to hospital. And then I ran down the garden and jumped over the fence and woke up. My subconscious always knows but luckily I haven't been involved in any violence. My dad has been beaten up though once in living memory. I'd say being robbed is more common here (I've known several people who have been mugged or burgled, had a car stolen etc,) but people kind of develop a dark/ironic sense of humour about it I think. Also if you hang out with people who live on estates I imagine the number of violent incidents increases dramatically.

And when my dad was a kid my nan refused to go to the hospital after stabbing herself through the foot with a garden fork but then she'd had much worse experiences in life then that. She'd been shot before too. And then there were the mass rapes happening. Even before that her friend was shot while working on the farm and then died during some dodgy blood transfusion that didn't work.

The best thing about that dream though is my dad is nothing like that with me. He worries tons if he hears I'm going to Manchester for a concert alone and coming back at night. Also on/off worried about me going to London at night alone over the years. Said he thought it was insane that I did that. So I'm now avoiding telling him.

But that diffused what was sort of a nightmare and my mind has done that a few other times when I get too freaked out etc like when there was this strange guillermo del toro horror sort of creature with an exposed brain really freaked me out so when I looked back it was covered by skull and less freaky. I think there are other examples I've forgotten. I wish I could translate this into a way to reduce my irl social anxiety though.

I have two minds about it one is objective and like 'this is actually very fucked up.' Which I try to keep in mind when talking about living in such a place. But then on another level I don't care that much? And I also know it can get a lot worse (in this town, in this country, in the world especially.) I didn't get emotionally affected really by overhearing someone being killed (I assume based on what I read about the case.) Of course I didn't know it was happening at the time because people shout a lot around here, but then even later. I avoid walking up that particular street at night and realistically it's not even a dodgy street so the chance of something happening again isn't particularly more likely than anywhere else though it's a bit less visible which I think is why it happened there and I think drug deals prob happen there too. I think I walked that way home a few times before but generally didn't. And that's about it. Of course I also know objectively I'm not likely to be attacked. Most of the violence is gang related and between teenage boys.

I mean two teenagers had a fight with machetes in the shopping centre in the middle of the day and I don't avoid that except in the sense that I don't go out often in general but it's not because I'm worried about that. Again it's like teenagers.

But I think it's important to talk about these things. That being said The Guardian is incredibly dramatic most of the time. I remember at one point they had a headline that was something like 'every woman is afraid to walk around at night alone' I can't remember exactly what it was - I think it was more insane even than that - but I knew I thought it was ridiculously over the top especially considering the framing and risk of violence from strangers (which is lower than for men.) And a lot of their writing is dramatic for people of a higher class I guess.

https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...ger-maybe-both

Is it possible that this narrative - that women are perpetually at risk in public spaces - does harm as well as good?

How should we talk about this video? Which message is the right one? The question captures an unease I have long felt in the way we talk about female safety.

We hear a great deal of the second message: that women are not safe walking home at night, not safe on public transport, not safe in gyms. It is drummed home at every opportunity (even a video of a woman successfully fending off an attack, it seems, is a chance to tell us just how unsafe we are). Yes, it is important to push for greater protections against violence. But is it possible that this narrative ? that women are perpetually at great risk in public spaces ? does harm as well as good?

In England and Wales, women are far less likely to be killed than men: in the year ending March 2022, 72% of homicide victims were male. And as for safety on the streets, the stats suggest the greater danger for women lurks in the home, at the hands of a current or former partner. In that same year, stranger attacks accounted for just 7% of female victims and 15% of male ones. Just 15% of rapes are committed by strangers.

These are the facts. Yet they remain at odds with public perception, perhaps because of an outsize cultural reaction when that rare terrible thing does happen to a woman walking home alone at night.

No it's not good. We've created an insane culture. In the US and the UK. I still remember the time on another mental health forum I pointed out to a woman the low risk of being attacked by strangers at night because it was relevant to a fear she brought up then this guy from NYC yelled at me for pointing this out 'don't just dismiss her fears because of your gender issues' no not because of common sense lol. And yeah I know most fears are irrational but it's even worse if people are convincing you they're rational. Anyway that guy later decided I was a heartless psychopath and a pedophile supporter because I didn't condemn relationships between 16 year olds and people in their 20s in all cases. I did say it depends on personal circumstances obviously in many cases it's not going to work out - and considering this culture perhaps he has a point lol people can't handle much. Then later he said he found me very attractive even though he hated me (paraphrasing,) I think that was part of the reason he hated me so much. I mean it was a mental health forum so I can't really be this incredulous lol. I'm insane too anyway.

was utterly transfixed last week by a moment captured on CCTV in a Florida gym. A woman ? an Instagram fitness model called Nashali Alma ? sees a man waiting outside the door and interrupts her workout to buzz him in. It is evening. The two are now alone, sealed inside the empty room.

After a few minutes the man approaches her and then, shockingly, starts to chase her around the machines. Then he catches her. You think: that's it, she's done for. But like one of those dramatic sequences in the very best David Attenborough films ? a hatchling iguana evading a nest of snapping snakes, perhaps, or an impala struggling clear of a crocodile death-roll ? it is not over. She fights and, eventually ? unbelievably ? she wins. The exhausted predator has been outdone by his wily prey.

"I was confident I had the strength and mentality to fight back," Alma later said, for all the world like a victorious footballer at a press conference. "I would tell every woman always to keep fighting, never give up."

Inspiring stuff, I thought, but many would disagree. In fact the video has sparked something of a row online.

I wonder how many of those people have been in that situation though?

Here's the thing. Because coincidentally I just stumbled on someone who has this pinned on their twitter profile again lol with this message:

Physical Reality is suborned to the Social Reality created by the Will of the fearless.

Geese are fucking insane though I remember as a young child I was on a farm and they would attack me and my brother.

She probably wasn't done for though. Randomly going into a gym like that isn't very clever, he didn't seem to have much of a plan, and as with most unhinged people like this he's probably physically weak. Also he's a Florida Man (tm) He probably realised that if he put too much effort into this he wouldn't be able to later find an alligator to set on fire and eat it's face or something. If he raped her it wouldn't have been quite weird enough to meet the cut. So she had to win because it's Florida and the equilibrium is restored because it's still a bit weird.

Florida Man is an Internet meme first popularized in 2013,[1] referring to an alleged absurdist prevalence of people performing irrational or maniacal actions in the U.S. state of Florida. Internet users typically submit links to news stories and articles about unusual or strange crimes and other events occurring in Florida, with stories' headlines often beginning with "Florida Man..." followed by the main event of the story.[2] Because of the way news headlines are typically written, they can be creatively interpreted as implying that the subjects of the articles are all a single individual known as "Florida Man".

One issue with this is that she might get insecure idiots picking fights with her now which would suck. I wonder if that happens to female action heroes too I know it does to male ones. That's part of why Daniel Craig started hanging out at gay bars allegedly. Gay guys were not a fan of him pointing that out publicly lol:

Bond star says he dislikes the aggression of hetero spaces, and gay bars were a good place to meet women

"I?ve been going to gay bars for as long as I can remember," Craig said on the podcast Lunch with Bruce. "One of the reasons: because I don?t get into fights in gay bars that often."

"[Gay bars] would just be a good place to go," he said. "Everybody was chill, everybody. You didn't really have to sort of state your sexuality. It was OK. And it was a very safe place to be. And I could meet girls there, cos there are a lot of girls there for exactly the same reason I was there. It was kind of an ulterior motive."

Pointing this out to a major newspaper might cause some issues with that no?

Andrew Tate says this because he's a predator of women btw:

Tate, a former kickboxer, capitalised on his notoriety in the ring along with his unpleasant but undeniable charisma to build a career as a powerful online influencer. He is known for his misogynistic rants and espousals of male superiority ('Female self-defence is a joke. What the [BEEP] are you going to do when your face is collapsed?' he says after miming punching a woman in the face). He promises his followers that he can reverse the feminisation of modern society. His fans enrol in their thousands for his 'university' courses to learn how to emulate their hero.

thinks women shouldn't be allowed to take self defense classes because they're "incapable of violence" and "not built for fighting."

He wants you to be psychologically weak and think like prey. It's important to note he doesn't have this attitude with his own daughter who he praised after she hit some boy at school for trying to hug her. They're like young kids too. But it's not just his general opinion which you might assume given how much society pushes this point - he doesn't agree and is very calculated. It's not really about working out and trying to be physically stronger than any guy either that's not what he's arguing against eg:

"have you ever seen a woman try and do anything competent?"

"when i grab you (a woman) by your neck, and you start annoying me and try to resist, and i just violently punches his hand several times indicating the beating of a woman and then i grab you by your neck again, then what the [BEEP] you gonna do when your face is collapsed and your fucking cheekbone is broken? you ain't gonna do [BEEP] but cry."

If you don't kill me then:



That's the PG-13 censored version. I don't have to do anything though lol (and neither does anyone else,) because a bunch of women you fucked decided to turn on you and now 'the matrix' is after you haha. So pathetic.

This is despite Tate having chosen Romania as his base of operations for his webcam business because 'the police are kind of weak'.

I'm sure they appreciated that lol. How's that going btw?

Back to chicken shop article:

I haven't had a job like this since I was a student. My parents pressed me to go to university, precisely so I could avoid a lifetime of this sort of work. As minimum-wage gigs go, it isn't bad -- it closes before 11pm, so we miss the post-pub trade, and get home at a reasonable hour but weekend shifts are still gruelling. Everyone smokes weed, for its painkilling effects. We all suffer with sore backs, sore knees, sore calves; the muscular burn that comes from spending eight hours on your feet without a break. There's no time to sit around waiting for ibuprofen to kick in.

Mine didn't but the education system did lol.

I tell myself this job is a stopgap, while I finish my book. In truth, my old life is receding so fast, the idea of writing a book has come to seem fanciful. It's like saying I'm working towards being a footballer, or a film star. People in this town don't write books. They don't read books, either. One night, a customer calls to complain after she sees me sitting at the counter reading I Love Dick. I'm not sure what the basis of her complaint is; whether it's about the book's title, or the fact I'm reading at all. I don't take the call, so am deprived of the only part of my job I truly enjoy: saying 'I am the manager' when customers demand to speak to the manager.

I am the manager, though this is an entirely theoretical distinction. I don't earn any more than the kitchen staff. I have no authority. They hate me telling them what to do. At first, I put this down to my being a woman. As time goes on, I start to think that maybe they just hate me. It is an anti-authoritarian town. They are opposed to authority on principle. What have the authorities ever done for them?

I'm not convinced it's just the drugs. I think this is the problem with pursuing creativity as a career + having certain personality traits. Interesting to see someone who wasn't born in such a place get dragged down too though.

At this point I'd like to write a book too - but also won't - because it's like this has to be documented. Ideally with a surreal horror vibe. But not too pessimistic because we've had enough of that culturally I think... But I'm also procrastinating and avoiding making YouTube videos which is something I had more success doing than I ever did with writing. I mean I never finished anything I started writing (unless it was just poetry,) and also never sold any writing. But I've made money off YouTube and have fans.

Politicians ideas about the drug seem to reside in the 1990s, when cocaine was the preserve of city workers, PRs and journalists. Whenever a stern new measure is tabled, they invoke the north London hypocrite, who worries more about the provenance of her coffee beans than she does the origin of her drugs. These users are alive to the travails of farmers in Peru, but care nothing for deprivation in their own borough. It's hard to tell whether they?re real people, or an agglomeration of tropes. They feel real, because they're never out of the news.

I don't think so (well not entirely,) they're still doing tons of drugs. I often feel like our society is similar to the Macleod life cycle of the firm or 'the gervais principle' blog post where the people at the top are taken from the bottom:

https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/0...to-the-office/

I'm not quoting this all again lol.

But there is an increased rate of psychopathic personality traits I think. But it's certainly easier to function at the top than the bottom.

Cocaine has been reframed as a poor consumer choice. Like a blood diamond, or conflict gold, it is something rich people buy, and poor people pay for. Yet statistics point to cocaine being classless now. In 2019, a Home Office drug review found that 42% of users were in managerial roles, 35% were manual workers, and 3% were unemployed.

That isn't classless you've forgotten the lumpenproletariat (as usual lol):

Generally unemployable people who make no positive contribution to an economy. Sometimes described as the bottom layer of a capitalist society. May include criminal and mentally unstable people. Some activists consider them "most radical" because they are "most exploited," but they are un-organizable and more likely to act as paid agents than to have any progressive role in class struggle.

Well not forgotten they simultaneously included that statistic somewhat and ignored how it's significantly lower lol....

Nevertheless, across the population as a whole, use of cocaine was lowest among people who have never worked (1.7% ), those who have no qualifications (1.1% ) and those with a household income of ?30,000 to ?40,000 (1.6% ).

That doesn't surprise me at all. Why take amphetamines if you're unemployed and never worked? Probably more opiate use though. I have never worked a conventional job and I've never done cocaine. I feel like statistically speaking I would usually be considered unemployed cause I've never earnt enough to pay taxes.

Also feel like the homeless are probably not counted as they often aren't.

Still you kind of know what one solution to the problem is then don't you? That's a bit awkward.

Unfortunately I don't think there is a solution as not everyone can do this sort of thing:



At least until the robots take over.

Also that Guardian writer is female so they prob should have been considering testosterone before cocaine. Tbh there's lots of stuff that's prob worth trying before cocaine.

My dad worked with this guy who ended up doing cocaine I think? If I'm remembering right. I don't want to say what my dad did for work. (I already reveal too much here lol) nothing criminal, but it was not an impressive or high status job. So that guy eventually went on to to get some fancy career according to my dad (but I forget doing what.) He liked him but obviously wanted him to get over the drug use. He felt that his drug issues were caused by the fact that his dad wasn't in the picture and his mum kept bringing random men home but that's just my dad's opinion.

I'm very dysfunctional because I'm not on anything lol. Or I'm not on anything because I'm very dysfunctional (I used to drink when I was more social and at university with a crazy work schedule.) Either way.

There's a lot of people who blame various issues culturally or really any deviations from the norm on drug use. Illegal drugs, legal drugs, prescription drugs. Even the birth control pill. But I'm still crazy and I'm still attracted to androgynous men (which they blame on the birth control pill,) and I still seem to have a hormonal imbalance potentially (mood issues and skin issues,) despite never doing any illegal drugs or going on the birth control pill or doing prescription drugs. I can't even swallow pills (psychological thing,) so I've sometimes taken lemsip and even that's rare. And actually during the period I was drinking which included one time I got really drunk and it took me like a week to recover so probably withdrawal or something (it overlapped with my period so things were not good lol,) I was much more productive but that was for unrelated reasons. I sometimes find myself wishing I was on x, y, z drug so I could think there's an excuse and if I went off I might fix various issues. But I'm not on any drugs my brain is just like this.

the opening scene in the book i've mostly failed to write is the time i was drunkenly taking a guy home from a bar and jumped out of the uber at a stoplight to give the homeless people lsd, which is how they then became my primary friend group. I'd never do any of that now!

I love that millennials are united by the books we're failing to write. Now that seems to be classless.

*posts thousands of words a day online about nonsense*

[Nyctophilia]

Why is the ground on which Tate's teachings have fallen so fertile? What void exists in men that he is filling so successfully? From my side of the fence, Tate and his fanboys look like the embodiment of the adage that when you are accustomed to privilege, any move towards equality feels like oppression. But has modern life left men (not all men, yes, yes, yes) adrift in an important, underacknowledged way that shows itself violently if left unaddressed? Or is it the embodiment of another adage ? that [BEEP] rolls downhill?

His fans seem to be mostly young boys even in primary school in some cases. They are also more likely to be from certain minority backgrounds. That's about all I know. Most of the white adult rightoid psychopathic sadists on twitter don't seem to like him and they're rightoid psychopathic sadists. He's a bit too gauche for them I think. Also he seems incapable of subtlety so he's like a villain in a movie who just keeps talking, revealing his entire plan.

One in three (32% ) young men say they have a positive view of Tate, compared to just one in 11 (9% ) of young women, where three-quarters (74% ) say they have a negative view. It should be noted, though, that while a third of young men have a positive view of Tate, almost half (47% ) have a negative one.

The findings also illustrate that heterosexual young people (24% ) and young people from an ethnic minority background (31% ) are more likely than their LGB+ (5% ) and White (15% ) peers to have a positive view of Tate.

Seven in ten (69% ) young men would describe him as successful, while approaching half would describe him as both honest (45% ) and intellectual (45% ). A further third (31% ) see him as a role model. However, a majority of young men see Tate as sexist (58% ) and a misogynist (56% ), while 46% see him as 'disturbed'.

Imagine believing that.

Young women, however, are significantly less likely to describe Tate positively.

Only a quarter (26% ) would describe him as honest, one in six (17% ) as intellectual, and one in ten (10% ) as a role model. Comparatively, the vast majority of young women would describe him as sexist (83% ), while three-quarters say he is a misogynist (75% ) and disturbed (75% ). Approaching half (44% ), however, describe him as successful.

I'm honestly surprised those numbers are even that high.

Young people may see Tate as sexist and misogynistic, but not think that’s a problem.

Yeah I was going to say I'm sure a bunch of people who answered yes to questions like that don't care.

Although the findings imply that the majority of young men do see Tate’s most controversial viewpoints as problematic, there is still a significant minority that does not. A third (34% ) of young men find no issue with his view of masculinity and a quarter say his views on women (26% ) and sexual assault/violence (24% ) are not problematic either.

While his influence may not be as large as his subscriber count, Tate has managed to capture the admiration of a portion of young people – disproportionately male, straight and from ethnic minority backgrounds – who find his views on women, masculinity and violence palatable.

Well at least gen z women have other options:

A few years ago, we wrote about how approximately 18% of young black women identified as lesbian or bisexual in the 2016 General Social Survey sample. That rate was more than two times higher than for white women or other racial groups – and almost four times higher than for men of any racial group.

By 2018, more than 25% of young black women identified as lesbian or bisexual. And the majority of that change can be accounted for by bisexual-identifying black women.

Almost a quarter of Gen Z women don’t identify as straight, according to a new report, with more than twice as many identifying as bisexual compared to other age groups.

An in-depth survey of the UK’s sexual habits and attitude by sexual wellness brand Hims & Hers Health shows that Gen Z women – those born after 1997 – are the least likely social group to self-identify as heterosexual.

I feel bad for Muslim women though. In the UK Andrew Tate appeals to a bunch of muslim men and boys as well and ime they're less likely to rebel at least if they're from reasonably conservative households which is part of the reason he converted to Islam. On the other hand probably since doing that I've seen more doing so and writing articles yelling at him, so perhaps it will work out after all. He's just that toxic lol.

I mean I feel bad for them for now, because it's not going to last lol.

I don’t understand why so many people hate Andrew Tate so much, especially women, even Muslim women. He’s fighting against feminism and all these degenerate ideologies. He’s done more for the Ummah than most of us could ever in our lives.

If this was his actual goal (because women control culture more than people think,) or if he had some ulterior motive you could say he was intelligent to some degree, but I don't think he does. Most people aren't playing 4d chess. I think it's just whatever impulsively makes sense to his brand.

[Doseone]

Humans want the most boring things. It's all an illusion. Take away desire and what are we left with?

[Ironman]

2024 has been a wild trainwreck so far.

Happy New Year! lol