Random Thought of the Day

[Nyctophilia]

Still reading this autobiography:

I was the first born of two children in my family. My mother met my father relatively late in life. She was in her mid-thirties when they married and two years later she had me at the age of thirty-six. In those days to still be unmarried when you reached thirty was almost beyond the pale, but leaving it late runs in my family

That is very interesting for the 60s. I also assumed he was an only child since he spoke about his parents a bunch but never any siblings.

I think this means his mum is or was a few years older than my last living grandmother and my mum was born in 1959 (he was born in 1967.)

My parents got married in their early 20s in the 80s but then didn't have me until a decade later (one miscarriage before I was born) then my younger brother a bit later. My dad hadn't wanted kids though.

So me and my brother are the first to sort of fall into the massive generational change that happened later where neither of us are married or have kids in our 30s.

I was also the first of my cousins and 2nd in my family overall to go to uni and my mum graduated just before I went and went much later in life.

Just over 50 percent of women born in 1990 (and I was born in 1991,) in the UK were childless by their 30th birthday so very much the norm now. People rarely talk about men and fathers for the usual sexist reasons. I suppose the idea that women are supposed to decide when. Even when men get roped into it without their say like my dad (although he apparently loved us after we were born even though he said he didn't want kids or to get married.)

I also think like 60 percent of people in the UK aren't married? (at any age) I swear I read 60 percent but must have been something else.

Data from the 2021 census, external for England and Wales show nearly four in 10 adults have never been married or been in a civil partnership, up from three in 10 at the start of the century.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS), which revealed the data, said it was "fascinating".

(Initially I forgot we're in a new century as I still sometimes do and was like 'up from 1 in 3 in 1900- oh right you mean 2000)

Yes fascinating lol. I mean I'm mentally ill but tons of people can't connect or have no interest anymore.

I got married at the age of fifty-one and my brother, eighteen months younger than me, is still unmarried as I write this.

I think I'm normal for my personality type historically. I always had that Emily Dickinson kind of avoidant personality but the sheer quantity now is 'fascinating.' I think the motivation behind not partnering up and/or having kids varies a lot though.

There was a time that the pieces fit
But I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know
The dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow
And strengthen our communication

Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion

The shyness could be crushingly debilitating when I was young. It's a family trait that I have had to work hard to overcome

To this day, if we take mum out to a restaurant, she will order the first thing she sees on the menu to avoid the attention of everyone else falling on her for more than a split second. 'Oh that will do for me!' Then when the food arrives she apologises to the waitress for putting her to the trouble, and if she can't finish the food she apologises for that too. [...] It's as if she wants to be invisible to the rest of the world, to not be noticed at all. Imagine inheriting that, yet having career aspirations to get up on stage and be a performer.

Oh I see lol yeah. That's how I felt about my YouTube channel only my avoidance led to it being the only way I've made any money ironically.

Puts this into perspective too although it's also true that haggling isn't a cultural thing in the UK:

These days my wife Rotem is my secret weapon from Israel. She's forthright and straight-talking in a way that English people aren't. She's also very good at haggling, something which - like a lot of English people - I find incredibly embarassing. If I had to negotiate on the cost for any work on our house I would immediately fold and agree to the first estimate, but Rotem won't have any of it. If she had her way they would end up paying us to do the work.

This is more of a disagreeable vs agreeable personality thing though. It's part of why women are paid less on average because they're more agreeable and less aggressive and demanding about their salary.

'Nice' women earn less than their more assertive counterparts.

New confirms that nice women finish last

Dominant, assertive women, who clearly express their expectations and do not retreat from their demands, are compensated better than their more accommodating female peers.

According to the researchers, the same goes for dominant men versus their more conciliatory male counterparts -- but even dominant women earn far less than all of their male colleagues, dominant or otherwise.

As I said it's part of it.

"We found that women aren't aware that more agreeable women are being punished for being nice," said Dr. Biron.

"The nice women we polled in our study even believed they were earning more than they deserved."

But it does help in romantic relationships to be more agreeable.

Among couple who shared similar personalities, researchers concluded that having a partner who is “conscientious”* and “agreeable” provided higher levels of satisfaction in the relationship. Contrary to being conscientious and agreeable, researchers found that having a partner who is considered to be “neurotic” and traits of extraversion yielded lower satisfaction in relationships.

I'm very neurotic lol and unconscientious its not good. I also seem to score as disagreeable or have done but I don't agree with that I can be argumentative esp online over the years but I've been mostly a pushover irl.

I've had this debate with myself before lol. I think my high neuroticism probably explains some of my aggression. Because it's associated with both neuroticism and disagreeableness.

Such people are thought to respond worse to stressors and are more likely to interpret ordinary situations, such as minor frustrations, as appearing hopelessly difficult. Their behavioral responses may include procrastination, substance use, and other maladaptive behaviors, which may aid in relieving negative emotions and generating positive ones.

Yup lol. I had an internal meltdown about something inconsequential this morning. Almost everything is at least mildly stressful for me.

I was looking for some study I read a while ago but stumbled on a quora thread:

Why do men want agreeable women?

Answer: If they don't agree, then it's rape.

Oh quora never change.

But yeah I cba to find it I think there are a bunch of studies anyway.

Also regarding the concert well festival happening (posted about before) I can sort of hear it echoing anyway here lol. With the window closed. It's literally miles away lol.

[Nyctophilia]

This got a lot darker than I thought it was going to really quickly. Also sad (I'm also on my period lol.) I can definitely see what he meant about the music being potentionally more personal now (though he was talking about himself before I guess.) Also prob shouldn't be surprised it is Steven lol and you know the music. The post ends on a more positive note with the last quote though. So you can just skip to the bit starting with hair.

The scary thing is that my mum is the outgoing one in her family. Her only sibling, Leonard, suffered some form of mental breakdown when he was young - I don't know what and mum doesn't really seem to know exactly herself. [..] Uncle Leonard as a child retreated further and further into himself, and as an adult was a recluse, living alone in a little maisonette in London without friend or companion. He worked an administrative job for the council

Once a year ar Christmas, dad would drive over to pick Leonard up and bring him to our house, where he would sit silently watching TV. Very occasionally he would make an attempt to communicate [..] but he couldn't look anyone in the eye and it was obvious what an incredible effort it was for him to do so. He had probably spent the previous hour working up to it. I felt bad for him and instinctively knew that inside there was a kind and gentle person who had simply lost the will and ability to interact with other Human beings.

OK so warning this is where it gets darker:

Eventually he was made redundant from his job, but instead of telling my family he went home to his maisonette, locked the door and starved himself to death.

I guess I can see why Joyce Carol Vincent's story stood out to him.

Oh yes:

I can't say I thought about uncle Leonard that much over the subsequent years but in 2015 I made an album called Hand. Cannot. Erase. [..] Her body was not discovered for two years, no one missing her in all that time. All the lonely people... Although I didn't make the connection at the time, surely uncle Leonard must have been in the back of my mind when I wrote it.

I know a lot of people who are or have been teetering on that edge to varying degrees including myself, my brother, my best friend, members of my extended family. Like very avoidant/schizoid personalities with only a few connections. I also have a cousin with schizophrenia who is institutionalised I think.

Many times in my lyrics, before and since, I have returned to the subject of lonliness, of living each day with a weary sense of routine and resignation.

What frequently stood out to me, and maybe it's because of my own close relationship with my brother was the relationships between siblings. I said this before but this contextualises things more for me.

Like on the Raven that Refused to Sing where he's singing to his dead sister, and Perfect Life from Hand. Cannot. Erase where she's singing about her Foster sister I think and his new solo album Harmony Codex where a brother and sister get stuck in an endless surreal tower block while trying to visit their father after a terrorist attack. Also the song Happy Returns from Hand. Cannot. Erase which was very meaningful to me but also sometimes hard to listen to. She's singing to a brother:



Also cause like by a weird coincidence I had this same hair cut (well a very similar one and had also dyed my hair black recently,) around the time this video came out.

Also this is ironic speaking of hair:

At the early Porcupine Tree shows my waist-length hair would hang over my face as I spent most of the gig looking down at my bare feet and guitar pedals. I dreaded catching the eye of anyone in the audience and barely spoke to the crowd for about ten years.

Yes I can see what you were trying to do but you were were failing (at least decades later) because I love long hair. =P Also in some of the early gigs he shockingly wore shoes in footage I saw lol.

Nowadays its hard to shut me up and my band jokes that when I start talking to the audience they can go off for a meal before I'm ready to introduce the next song.

😊

Hmm I prefer the way emoji look on my PC to my phone.

[Nyctophilia]

I keep thinking about this YouTube comment

The problem goes both ways and both sides make each other worse. Male douchebaggery is reaching new heights of cultish brain-dead fanaticism. Thinking that anyone under 6'7" is a sub-human manlet and that eating vegetables is an indication that you're gay, and on the other side the left is so frustrated and fed up with that bs that they've gone hyper-isolationist mode towards any form of masculinity that isn't explicitly contextualized by LGBT+ content.

God I wish it was as simple as a bunch of silly guys who are just posting that they think ice-cream makes them gay. And that the 'left' enclaves were merely a response to that.

Sidenote: It's a real sign of how much those labels left and right are divorced of meaning that we're still using them for this current purpose.

But I've seen the core of this and it's pretty ugly. On both sides really. And the worst part is I think it's instinctual and rooted in sexuality. So wtf are you supposed to do about that?

How did we get here as a culture? Maybe even a species? It's so insane.

When I was younger I just thought well I like the guys I like and that's it and then many years later I realised this preference was common among other trans guys and genderfluid and non-binary people attracted to men. But also less often cis gay guys and some bisexual guys.

Now it's like there's some kind of increasingly thinley veiled war between femdoms, GNC people and [BEEP] people on one side and conservatives, male doms and right wing masculinists on the other.

It even showed up in Aella's research:



And it shows up (as I also said before) in how people vote in the US about abortion.

Calling it a gender war seems simplistic. They've even used the Abrahamic religion to define people's roles. Satan and the femdoms and [BEEP] people on one side and God and the conservatives on the other.

The atheistic masculinists cringe at that and want to be Pagan but they acknowledge the point so far as it encourages the overall push for their side to win and they very much will destroy the conservatives who they view as weak if they ever gain power.

Have you read their rhetoric? You think they're going to keep the Ben Shapiros and Jordan Petersons of the world around? They have no use for them. They're not romantically attracted to men.

They barely have a protective instinct involving women hence the lack of 'benevolent sexism' even that is more along the lines of 'you can't steal my object.'

What are they going to do if you can't join in the psychopathic homoerotic warrior brotherhood thing for whatever reason?

But I know what it feels like to have protection you don't want forced on you. It's infantalising. I'm not doing that or encouraging it. You should try and be one of them if you want too. And the 'left' will respond to you accordingly.



(Highlight isn't mine someone else circled that.)

He's always doing this for them lol. This is worse than the white nationalists and their raceplay shenanigans. (Actually prob not lol that's bleak and existentially horrifying to hear about sometimes - the ego dystonic stuff I mean. Not that most fetishes aren't problematic of course in various ways and connected to various political stuff but anyway this still isn't great either. ) The video he posted also doesn't show what he thinks and the caption is by Oli London who is clearly super trustworthy as a source with his constant back and forth:

American students bow down to ISLAM. Hundreds of University of Southern California students have converted to Islam, with female students now wearing HIJABS.

Students across the country are converting to the religion en masse to show solidarity with Palestine.

Edit: Also I just realised. Across the country.. Across what country [BEEP]? Oli you are from the UK and 5 minutes ago you were claiming to be a transracial South Korean. Literally just the new Milo. Jordan is Canadian this is an American University lmfao.

At this point he's basically functioning as a foreign propaganda agent. Also please note that in the UK guys are more progressive according to surveys compared to America in the younger more polarised group so he's just doing this because he'll never compete with jk Rowling in the UK online culture war demo.

Also prob shouldn't be surprised Jordan fell for this as he previously believed some fetish porn was some conspiracy from the Chinese government

Was looking for a screenshot. Can't easily upload one atm because stuck with just my phone. Found this terf who uploaded one with 'disaffected liberal' in her bio and saying this:

"I predicted.." blah blah blah. Here we see the Mighty Peterson proclaim that quiet part out very loudly. His hatred of strong women runs deep and although I LOATHE these hideously sheep-like university students doing the bidding for corporate elites who are pandering to the CCP, this hubris of his is so offensive that it should not go unnoticed. His resentment of being professionally dismissed as so many women have also been before, since and after him, is on full display now as to who he blames. Of course it HAS to be women. He uses "feminists" in quotes but then clarifies what he really means when he types the phrase, "idiot hedonist females". Oh yes Captain Obvious...do tell us all what you think of strong women...

*grabs popcorn*

When your enemy (terfs) are fighting the pawn/cannon fodder (peterson,) of your other enemy. (right wing masculinists)

This isn't about her though really. This is just racial mateguarding coupled with his ongoing dislike of leftists. Not vague liberal terfs who agree with him on probably 50% of issues and are looking for protection from trans women and GNC men (the fear that gave you various 20th century horror movie villains,) which he enjoys giving. Because that's what conservative men do.

https://www.theamericanconservative....the-longhouse/

What also struck me about the Longhouse discourse is what it brought to mind from my recent interviews with an American academic who was deeply into the occult for some years. One of the things he told me is that there is running through the occult an elevation of the "dark feminine" as a strategy for opposing and overthrowing the masculine. He said it is no coincidence that so much of contemporary occultism is driven by feminists, and that gender-nonconforming people are also drawn to it. He discerned over time that they define themselves broadly against the patriarchal god of Abrahamic religion, and the order it dictates.

Disappointed doesn't quite capture my response to First Things publishing a Nietzsche-lite article by a Twitter anon. The justified opposition to Wokeism increasingly dominating the mainstream right is in danger of descending into very dark places.

He knows.

I am not really a part of the "online right" in the sense Patrick means, so I guess I am missing what is supposedly so objectionable about this particular piece. Maybe the author is involved in some dark discourse, I dunno. Not my world. But I think the general point he makes in this essay is an important one to talk about. M

Nothing about income inequality, nothing about war and peace, nothing about better health care -- the kind of bread and butter issues that made her a Bernie Sanders supporter from abroad. She explained that these were all left-wing, highly-educated white females. What startled her was not that they cared about trans issues, but that that was just about the only thing they cared about -- even though none of them were queer. The empathy impulses were off the chart. She made a funny, disparaging remark about liberal white women, her tribe.

You are. You're incapable of even understanding in fact because you are still blinded by the paternalistic sexism of men and women being fundamentally different and women being motivated by empathy and nurturing instincts as opposed to power and their own agendas.

But it's fine the war will continue regardless.


If I had to summarise this war (as unflatteringly as possible,) as it's unfolding right now it would be something like this (and note that both of these instincts can be found in kids as young as 4 maybe younger but it's obviously less sexualised at that age.)

'I'm going to turn your soldiers into my pretty little plaything. Boys are icky and violent and I like men who are pretty and maybe even feminine and cute... One of the good ones. This is going to be so much fun!'

Vs

'Men are supposed to be warriors. Except when they're the playthings of other men. Femininity is weak and must be destroyed, and we have to subjugate you and force you to submit so you stop feminising our soldiers.

How dare you try to challenge my power?'





Conservatives are playing a slightly different game they focus on rules and families, and are running defense for the masculinists, and seem somewhat oblivious even (sometimes.)

Something like: can't we just all get along? And also follow the gender rules.

No I don't think so. I don't see a path through this right now either.

Oh right I am disagreeable. Because I've noticed lol.

I still feel like that needs explaining though. Or maybe it's just because there are a bunch of subtraits:

Agreeableness is composed of the facets Trust; Earnestness; Altruism; Cooperation-Compliance; Modesty and Sympathy-Compassion.

Trust is being increasingly eroded culturally anyway. That's part of the overall problem.

I'm not assertive though. All the worst parts as usual lol.

I still would think I'm more moderate. I do think this reaches an exhausting point and I don't think this war is ideal. Obviously not violent war as I've posted about but not even the cultural war.

It can be implied that this new planet is a metaphor for a new lover & the old planet is an old lover, who may have been toxic or abusive; although, some interpret this old planet as a disapproving family member or society itself, disapproving of Ashnikko as a [BEEP] woman. In an interview with*Apple Music, Ashnikko leaves it up to interpretation:

The people who have been unkind to me have made me unkind, but, ultimately, I just want a soft place to land, and that?s exactly what this song is about, pulling those thorns of the Weedkiller out one by one and looking for someone to take me in. It?s definitely a love song.

The ground reaches out to catch me
Softly in her baseball mitt
I'm tired of the dirt and grit
I want something soft

The forest reaches out to guide me
Blue fire paths of will-o-wisps
Illuminate the darkness's old tricks
I'm nobody's captive (mm-mm)

I asked him not to kill me politely
He drained my magic core, bottled up at the source
I washed up on a sea glass shores
I'm nobody's captive (mm-mm)

It felt like a god, how she held me
I slept on her shoulder, I gave her my all
I bathed in her waterfalls
And continued to fall, fall



I was down at the New Amsterdam
Staring at this yellow-haired girl
Mr. Jones strikes up a conversation
With a black-haired flamenco dancer
You know, she dances while his father plays guitar
She's suddenly beautiful
And we all want something beautiful
Man, I wish I was beautiful

How much clearer can anyone be? But I guess it's impossible because Humans are dual.

'You're a hedonistic goddess worshipper because you won't submit'

And OK Bye LOL.

[Nyctophilia]

Miss Italy beauty pageant BANS transgender competitors.

The owner of the Miss Italia pageant Patrizia Mirigliani has announced biological males are banned from competing in the women's beauty contest.

'My competition provides in its rules the clarification that you must be a woman from birth.'

The move comes after a transgender model won the Miss Universe Netherlands sparking backlash across the world.

I don't have a high opinion of 'beauty competitions' pretty much like April if I was forced to do this:



but banning trans women from them really doesn't send the message you want it to lol.

It says 'we're scared of competition and can't compete with trans women because they are more beautiful.'

No you're right only genetically female people should be in beauty competitions. That's what feminism is all about making sure research enabling genetic males to gestate/give birth is banned, removing people from sports competitions because you want a participation trophy and you're worried they might have an advantage even though people have racial advantages and no one cares, and insisting that competitions and events that are all about makeup and physical beauty be the domain of genetic females only.

You're definitely winning here.

Trans men enter Miss Italy pageant in droves after trans women are told they can't compete

Trans activist Federico Barbarossa, who lives in Bari, a town in southern Italy, said that he became angry when he saw Mirigliani's comments but that he was 'also kind of amused by it, because I was like 'Yeah, well, I was assigned female at birth, but they would reject me because I look like a boy, and they would consider me as a boy,' he said in an interview with NBC News.

Trying to decide if this will help or not. I guess if they pass as men and look masculine they will still ultimately collapse things just in a more antisocial way that's critical of femininity and tbh masculinity at the same time.

They can bother men and women at the same time with this one lol.

It's going to annoy the kind of women who enjoy this sort of thing. They either have to argue masculinity isn't 'beautiful' or let trans men win which will cause a lot of resentment lol.

It does touch on a lot of intersecting cultural conversations though.

Whereas, even in the most patriarchal situation, straight women are ultimately attracted to men, and sexually aroused by male bodies.

Or are they? Gay men certainly are, and gay women are just rhapsodic about women, but a lot of straight women are just kind of 'meh' about male bodies and men in general. What is that about? 🧐I just... I just do not understand straight women. I don't think I ever will. And that's okay. I'm just gonna accept my bewilderment, and move on with my lesbian life.

It's funny because the above quote is Contrapoints and this bisexual woman I found on reddit the other day is blatantly quoting her

I do feel like gay guys are like... much more vocal about their physical attraction to other men and seems to really like many of the things that straight women seem either uncomfortable talking about or uncomfortable with period? Same with wlw, like we're rapturous about other women. By comparison straight men and straight women seems sort of cold towards each other? Like attracted and maybe also a little disgusted. I heard so many straight men fucking railing against pussies growing up, it's totally weird that they also... want to have sex with them... when they seem so horrified by them.

I mean I'm bi and frankly this has confused me about my own sexuality. I don't really know how to label it but I do experience the attraction I have for men and women differently. Men's bodies... I'm definitely attracted to on a whole, but it's less aesthetic, it's more cautious, it's a fraught relationship. With women's bodies I don't have the same feelings of fear and I can appreciate their pure beauty more.

This is the cultural norm though. Even more so when you narrow it down to masculinity vs andogyny or femininity. Instead of just 'male and female bodies'

This is perhaps harsh but seeing as she's spoken publically about her life before yes it's a bit rich for a trans woman who had more difficulty dating after coming out then before to say that. She was always pursued by women before she transitioned, then later only by men or at least complained about that at one point. And no I don't think the women who were into feminisation and saw you had long hair had no opinions on your body Contra. To be blunt.

Straight women are just like everyone else Contra. They to go work, come home, jerk off to sissy hypno fetish porn, and go to bed like everyone else.



Well the straight women Contra dated pre-transistion anyway lol. Some of them were trans. Though its unclear if she meant some turned out to be trans women or not. She used scare quotes in the video around woman which made me think she dated people who came out as trans men.

Also the trans women who date men aren't typically the kind who enjoy feminisation or androgyny in general (unlike the trans men and non-binary people who do historically.. we like to be early? Writing my posts like [BEEP] tier comedy act too much YouTube it's bad lol,) so it made sense in my head even though I'm sure not everyone she dated was into that.

After transitioning she dated someone else closeted (trans woman,) and then given the similar line of work got annoyed that she was copying her even though she doesn't own the idea of costumes which again I thought was uh rich tbh. But yeah 'chasers' are often closeted so also tracks.

And I do like Contra but the way so much of the internet just sided with her when it's the same sexological phenomenon. What so she came out first and was more androgynous pre-trans (only physically btw,) so now she's more valid? Also wonder if it was the person she talked about in the Shame video. Presumably. In which case seems like that's even more of an ego thing.

Well if it helps the straight women you dated have at least thought about being men. And some of them might have been trans men as I say I'm still not sure.

I think it's safe to assume though. I mean if she dated closeted trans women she wouldn't have said she only dated women back then:

Let's talk about the shame. Before I was transgendered, I really only dated women, though two of those 'women' later turned out to be trans so, I guess we had some way of finding each other.

Also the part where a bunch of trans masc people are chaser-adj.

Also it doesn't help lol:

So my ex-boyfriend, let's call him Chad ⁠? oh and he was a Chad, like full Giga-Chad fantasy-you know, he was very masculine, taller than me, objectively attractive, very charming. Straight women used to tell me all the time they were jealous of me for being with him. And obviously I loved that. To me, Chad represented almost an ideal of manhood, a sort of archetypal romantic lead who swept me off my feet and fulfilled my sick fantasies of being a heterosexual woman.

Now you probably think I'm gonna say that he was just an abstract fantasy to me, but that once it came to actually dating, I realized I didn't like it. But honestly, it's more complicated than that. Like, at the beginning, I was the one who pursued him. And I still think of him as the one genuine boy crush of my life.

When we started dating, it was really exciting. I never had a boyfriend before, and he'd never been with a trans woman before, and we had this adorably heterosexual energy together, like holding hands in the park. It was cute!*

This would be a better lesbian story if Chad was a cad. But he wasn't. He was great. He took very good care of me; he was never ashamed to be seen with me, or of his friends and family knowing he was dating me, which, if you're a trans woman, that's a huge deal. He was a lot less ashamed of me than I am of myself. And when I was with him I was not ashamed. And that meant a lot.*

I have to say speaking both as a heterosexual woman and a man I can't relate. Where are the twinks? But she's learnt that since this video lol. Because no she didn't move on lol.

Tbf I don't understand straight women either like why are they straight when they're watching lesbian porn? I'm not straight when I watch lesbian porn. I'm a gay man obviously.

No I am usually a [BEEP] woman if I'm listening to female audio stuff lol. It's complicated and varies.

Also there's a disturbing lack of non-binary and bisexual awareness in her content for someone who came out as genderfluid once but I get wed just get annoyed one way or the other

I'm just reading the whole of this video transcript now lol. I mean I've watched it a few times before.

So by the time I came out as a trans woman, that was actually a step up in terms of social acceptability from where I was before. When I was a genderqueer genderfuck, I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere. Whereas, when I started transitioning to female, even though at first I had a lot of the same problems, there was at least a goal in mind--some possible future where I could lead a normal-ish life as a woman.*

Yes I know that feeling. Because I'm stuck being non-binary.

OK I wanted to say one thing, went too far, would definitely get cancelled for my thoughts lol but still.

People are irritating. Myself included.

I think 1970s/1980s Geddy Lee is the most beautiful woman and man. He's winning all the competitions in my head right now.

That's right neither cis or trans women are going to win (well one specific trans woman can but that's a personality thing.) I'm awarding this to a cis man who wouldnt want it.

My husband, after taking a photo of me in a sexy outfit which he has specifically told me is sexy: If I told people this was Geddy Lee, they'd believe me

#shit my husband says #geddy lee #70's geddy apparently #thanks??

I think he'd agree with me after maybe his wife. So that's 3 votes if his wife isn't in the competition plus the person who made that meme image about how terrible it was that Geddy would never be their girlfriend and all the other random accounts doing this kind of thing.

He's not really winning on tumblr though. That one account that puts various musicians in sexual competition. He won a few times. I think he lost to Joan Jett at one point which OK fair enough.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? - Alice Cooper.

Wrong Alice.

[Nyctophilia]

I don't think I'm going to finish this book. I keep reading interesting stuff and wanting to write down my thoughts. I mean at this rate it will take me years.

And I heard someone complain that this book didn't have much personal stuff in a while back (something like that in a review,) but I'm only 33 pages in and there's already loads. It's weird to read because I like the mystery to some extent and hes sharing a lot while generally seeming very private. (Maybe why he said he sometimes lies and might in the book.) Then you can project whatever from a safe distance but I really wanted to read the album story that is somewhere in this book apparently lol.

Apparently Steven's mum had a close friend who married a wealthy executive at the bank they both worked at. She had kids the guy unsurprisingly left her later for a younger woman (I'm a bit cynical? Well of course.) Her children were grown up and married. She spent more time with his family after that and unfortunately she met a tragic end as well.

And again she had all the things you're supposed to have until she didn't.

You can only plan so much. You have to be OK with the possibility of losing everything and having very little.

Whatever you adjust to its a possibility and especially in such atomised cultures. I mean that's why people have religion right. But you can replace it with something like music etc I think.

Another funeral, this time with a lot of people in attendance, but I remember being annoyed that the priest conducting the service seemed to know very little about Audrey and trotted out a string of platitudes ('she liked horses') No one from her family spoke about her. Is that what a life amounts to in the end? Years later, wgen my dad passed away I made sure that all of the speeches were from people that had been close to him and loved him, no platitudes from strangers.

He also talks about his dad's sister's family who were born again Christians so there was a divide there religiously between their two families

He played with one cousin who he felt had a cruel streak 'not a bully exactly but someone who would ridicule and exploit any weakness' they lost contact after childhood and then his cousin turned out to be a trans woman.

I'm surprised to find myself writing this. Because if you had asked me beforehand if my family and upbringing had any dark shadows in it, I would have said, 'absolutely not, we are all very ordinary and boring.' But in the past few pages I've written about [you know I don't have to quote all the dark stuff] and my God-fearing transgender cousin. So let's revise that statment, 'absolutely, my family is weird.'

Tbh I'm not surprised at all based on pattern matching. I mean I shouldn't explain further and it's somewhat intuitive anyway.

It's hard to say whether he's OK with it or not from the little he says (as he misgenders her in writing a few times.) And really doesn't say much after that probably on purpose. Did say everything fell into place after learning that.

I mean there's a limit to how much he must care as he says a lot and pages later:

I certainly love a lot of progressive rock, but equally a lot of it means very little to me, and I remain relatively immune to the charms of bands like Genesis and Emerson Lake and Palmer. I prefer Abba and Throbbing Gristle. More on that later...

Curious. I hope he has goth culture stories cause I know one of his favourite albums which is also one of mine is Pornography by The Cure which he listened to at a similar age to me lol. (I mean two decades apart but its timeless I guess like Nirvana and I grew up online with some gen x goths anyway in the sims community and on web forums.) He mentioned that at a concert. Also liking post punk music.

(Oh to be clear Throbbing Gristle were a four piece band he brings up a lot consisting of among others one gay guy and a non-binary person Genesis who was interesting. (No connection to the prog rock band lol,) Problematic person again. Though considering the moral and insane backlash against them and the band never as crazy as that. One of their bandmates accused them of being abusive when they were in a relationship together at one point and considering the frequency of various crazy [BEEP] among musicians and artists and the fact that she (cosey fanny tutti,) also worked as a prositute and stripper who are easily dehumanised it seems plausible. Kind of the Ezra Miller of the 80s and so on. Maybe a bit less crazy maybe more dunno. The other sensationalised claims much less so especially after failed police investigations etc. There was never an attempt at a cover up like with a lot of them and its not hard post Ian Watkins to get info. Of course Genesis denied everything including domestic abuse either way.)

Oh I say this but there are plenty of transphobic and homophobic people of course who like certain music and dress in certain ways (Quentin Crisp was perhaps the first to point this irony out in the 70s,) not to mention Genesis was far from perfect anyway and a lot of people can separate artists from their work. It means very little but I don't want to assume.

I mentioned this before but Steven also looks like someone I went to uni with who I hung out with for a brief time and had a crush on who later came as non-binary. Also wasn't honestly a very nice person I guess bit cynical and elitist (many people I knew at this time were,) once openly discussed with someone else why they felt I wasnt attractive in a facebook post where someone had tagged me asking why everyone on the course was a lesbian (well everyone female) they also were in an on-off drama filled relationship with someone who my friend said looked like me.... And yeah that same friend (well we were in a relationship back then,) pointed out that similarity without me even suggesting it once. Then after I showed him the Porcupine tree face app genderswap image one time he said 'looks like them when they wear makeup' which made me very curious as I lost contact with that person ages ago lol and stopped using Facebook in 2014 (he was talking about twitter anyway though.) My friend was often forgetting their name (don't think they changed it,) but like I knew who they meant after the first time.

And uh initially I got into his music that way. I don't think that awareness was immediate more just 'Oh they are one of my 'types'' (I have a couple at least.) Someone posted a photoshoot on Tumblr.

Lol large parts of my life have been trash really but still a bunch of good times and nothing times.

Someone who had a crush on me I didn't reciprocate also came out as a trans woman later, and someone else I worked on a group project with was transitioning while I was at uni. My friend pointed out how weird it is that so many on our courses came out. But they were video game related subjects and 2 were programmers. There were some gay guys too. At least one bisexual woman..

No lesbians afaik but I didn't do a poll. Most had boyfriends at some point or other and one woman I didn't have on Facebook or talk to so dunno.

In all this time I'm the only afab trans person I've come across irl.

I think it's because we were such a small unit that I resented the presence of my brother when he was born, eighteen months after me. I struggled with having no one around to pay me attention

My brother is 18 months younger than me and I can't even remember that time lol.

Oh what I do remember though is being about 4 or so and going with a cousin I was close friends with to get her first pair of glasses and I was very envious and wanted glasses. And I guess that's where the glasses thing began no I hope not lol. Actually when I was 13 or so I became temporarily obsessed with this older girl. Said this before. She was into music, and Green Day, and had glasses

I do know from my nan that when we were very young people thought we were twin girls. We don't look that similar though. People thought My brother was a girl until puberty because he hated getting his hair cut. He started shaving it mostly off when he was uh early 20s I guess. One time he got me to do it I think or cut it.

I also dyed several guys hair at uni. I mean I cut my own hair (dyed it too,) but only because I hated going to the hairdressers (and to save money) and didn't want to do that alone as an adult. There was a walk in place where they wouldn't speak to you in my hometown but most places weren't like that.

unfortunately it was a dynamic that established itself and to my shame and regret meant I spent a lot of our early years patronising and bullying my younger brother, when I should have cherished and encouraged him.

My parents must have been disapointed that they gave me someone to grow up with and I just resented him. Things changed as time went on, and these days my brother and I have a good relationship. I would be the first to admit he's a much better and more responsible human being than me, but thanks to me I don't think we've ever been as close as we could and should have been. I hope he has firgiven me.

My dad once said that he was glad that me and my brother would defend each other even against him. Can't remember the context now though. Guess we were arguing about something.

We did fight though as kids. Mostly play fighting but sometimes actual stuff.

Also wonder if this also contributed to all the lyrics about siblings.

OK I really think the idea that he's melancholic, serious, never smiles that some people have of him bothers him lol. He keeps trying to correct it both in the beginning of this book and in other places recently. Though I never really assumed that.

Apparently there used to be a fan website dedicated to posting photos of him smiling lol which he has brought up. On the myth that he was 24/7 lol. He made a list (he loves lists apparently) of 5 common misconceptions about him.

Before I was with my wife Rotem, I was with my previous partner T for 25 years, most of my adult life.

That kind of clears up what that entire reddit thread were confused about. Or at least as much as he wants to say.

It's weird I know he's just being vague so went with a letter but T is one of my nicknames for some people. I'm not joking my friend will call me that and others also did over the years for some reason. At one point people added lil to the front which I was not so keen on lol.

[Nyctophilia]

^ speaking of unconventional families and Steven's born again Christian transgender cousin.. I just read that some KKK members kid came out as trans.

Well the media including LGBT media is bad at this so I'm going to assume they potentionally came out as non-binary since they use they/them pronouns according to wikipedia.

Often it's a bit like saying someone came out as homosexual when they're bisexual. This is especially bad with amab trans people so.

Derek Black's mother, Chloe Black, is an executive assistant for the founder of the Florida Crystals company and owns a real estate business in Latin American countries.[9] She has also served as spokeswoman for a charter school, Glades Academy in Pahokee, Florida, financed by Florida Crystals with the aim of lifting minority children out of poverty.[10] Before her marriage to Don Black, she was married to David Duke.[11]

Their father, Don Black, who founded the website Stormfront, remains a white supremacist.[4] He was also a Grand Wizard in the Ku Klux Klan, and a member of the American Nazi Party in the 1970s (for a time, the ANP was known as the National Socialist White Peoples' Party). In 1981, he was convicted of attempting an overthrow of the government of the island country of Dominica using firearms and served three years in jail, from 1981 to 1984.

When Don Black learned of Derek's renunciation of his beliefs, he began to distance himself from Derek, not being sure whether to defend them or to shun them completely. Derek tried to convince their father to re-examine his beliefs, but failed.[2]

In May 2024, Derek released a memoir titled*The Klansman?s Son: My Journey from White Nationalism to Antiracism.*In the book, Derek*came out*as*transgender, using they/them pronouns.[8]

In the book they reflect on their childhood when they were often mistaken for a girl because of their long hair, and now want to voice support for transgender people.

'I can't imagine how horrible it would have been to grow up in the current political environment as a child who, until puberty, was quite happy about being often perceived as a girl, who then hid that part of myself,' they say.

They don't post on twitter now generally because they consider it a far right site which given how easy it is to stumble on far right tweets is reasonably accurate.

I like to yell at people sometimes though.

Black?s father runs white nationalist hate site stormfront.org, to which, as a child, Derek contributed in the children?s section.*

At the age of 10, they went on*The Jenny Jones talk show, joined by members of the*anti-LGBTQ+ Westboro Baptist Church.*

In their book, Black opens up about how their attendance at liberal New College, in Sarasota, Florida in 2010 led to them rejecting the white supremacist movement. It also helped their ?emerging understanding of my gender identity

They write, according to the*Daily Mail: [New College's] culture, and the people I met there, helped me accept that I fit under the trans umbrella.?

Oh they also married a Jewish woman. I'm not going to lie it's sort of amusing that they became their fathers worst nightmare almost. Most white nationalists are anti semitic and also hate trans and gender nonconforming people.

Despite the repressive environment they grew up in, Black dated a Jewish woman, Allison Gornik, at New College, and they married in 2020.

Black's book comes in the wake of them writing a letter to the Southern Poverty Law Centre in 2013, in which they rejected white nationalism

Sort of like how Elon Musk is transphobic and has a trans daughter and... Whatever is going on with Grimes. Her deepest truth is that she's a middle aged white man and she's 'female-ish'. Their kids are going to be interesting...

Then there are all the white nationilists online who are into raceplay not just in the way you think (although also that,) but being cucked. They hate themselves about it. Ego dystonic. Saw someone who is right wing talking about the accounts like this too...

And of course the ones who keep dating Asian women because at the end of the day their incorrect perception that non Western women are automatically more agreeable and submissive beats out their racist ideology. There's nothing that annoys them more than liberal white women lol.

Recently I read about this one white nationalist who published this book in America I forget his name but he was infamous too and he was married 5 times at a certain point he started pursuing Hungarian women exclusively and they all left him within 5 years and moved to more popular states. The last one I think before he died said he was pretty verbally abusive. I assume she would have left him eventually too. I think they just wanted access to the US and weren't putting up with his bs.

I do get it though my top belief is that hegemonic domineering masculinity is terrible and I don't want it in my life. I'm just not silly enough to call that white or non-white nationalism because it turns out it comes in all colours and ethnicities globally.

[Nyctophilia]

I mean, I'm a girl, and the Porcupine Tree fans that I know consist of:

1 dude

1 Non binary person

3 Trans girls

So uh

From my experience I'd say it's pretty diverse lol

I think there are more trans and non-binary people than cis women though for some reason. I mean then again reddit is mostly men and Tumblr is mostly [BEEP] (so there are a bunch of non-binary people and trans men but also some cis women in those tags) and I don't care about Instagram much. Which is more female and more straight.

The shows appear to be mostly men for both Steven's solo stuff and Porcupine Tree.

Why do I always fall into the snare of music that doesn't appeal to women?

Women stopped having good taste in music around 2007. After the MCR era. Except Ethel Cain fans. Lol no I mean it's subjective.

I can enjoy pop music and the occasional song but I'm not a huge fan of most pop music now comparatively.

Also god Ethel Cain is trans and autistic and her audience is full of [BEEP] women again.

I mean they have good taste.

She was on Tumblr too but then deleted her account again because she was being harassed by terfs. I will never forgive them because she had great posts that fit my aesthetic interests. Especially the one about the magnet and aliens in Tallahassee.

You are scaring the people I use to occassionally distract myself from my neurotic bullshit off the websites I use 😠 I mean tbf I'm sure there were other reasons. Like people asking her personal crap etc and the issues she had on twitter when she left with people contacting her family members etc. But her tumblr was just chill artsy stuff.

There are some other musicians with large female fandoms I enjoy to varying degrees too not really on a huge level typically though Some are also very mixed fanbases.

I mean it's just hard in general to stumble on new music that excites me these days. Partly because I'm getting older but even musicians who are really into music who are 30 years older than me are struggling now more than they did in the 90s or 2000s.

In terms of the mainstream I think part of it is they're not putting in effort to find or develop new talent now, and are instead apparently focusing on buying rights to old songs etc. So the focus of the industry has changed and as with all creative industries - film, video games they are scared to take risks now.

I've seen people who go from mildly interesting to me (not very - mildly,) to boring as [BEEP] over time (just my opinion,) like Charlie XCX.

There are indie musicians like Zheanie though who aren't amazing but she's worked with better producers etc over time and so you can hear a real improvement imo like compare these songs:



I like the Buttress part on this. Works well:



Her lyrics and themes have improved imo. Her rapping on this track is better though the music isn't amazing:



I don't think the result is amazing but with far less people involved she manages to combine a range of different genres together you get this like 90s (jungle? I dunno like playstation music of that era) sound on Skinwalker combined with trap metal, hip hop etc. Some tracks sound a bit like The Prodigy like F#ck the Hollywood cult.





That's pretty cool at least.

There are lots of indie bands etc who have released music I think is good though over the last decade. Even then though it is probably not super innovative.

But the main issue is mainstream stuff and an extreme difficulty I think getting noticed, getting funded, focusing on music creation in the first place, when you're solo that creates limitations in some ways too.

[Nyctophilia]

Someone who worked on this soundtrack actually commented on this upload which is cool

I love reading the comments here, thank you for your kind words. I'm the Barn of Bob & Barn who's responsible for this track.

It's one of my favourite video game soundtracks and especially this track.

One of my lecturers actually worked on the sequel to this game actually but I never ended up playing that one. I bought it eventually as a young adult but never played it.

I loved the first one as a kid though. The stained glass demon freaked me out but it was very creative. Loved the dragon suit etc too.

Also the first game was a big part of the reason why I pursued that degree though of course the industry had changed a lot by the time I got to uni. So that was a weird coincidence.

[Nyctophilia]

The War on Boys

At my son's first birthday party, my Dad observed me playing with him and said, "I never played with you...like that. I don't know, I was afraid to be silly. I guess I didn't feel like I was allowed to be." He was right. He never played with us.

Then, my son toddled up to me and gave me a big kiss. I gave him a big kiss back and told him how much I loved him. My Dad then quietly said, "I'm sorry I wasn't more... demonstrative of my love for you. But my dad, y'know, Pawpaw..." He shook his head. "Pawpaw was never affectionate. You know him, he just stays in his recliner. He loved us, but he didn't really show it. Maybe I didn't either." I assured him that we never doubted that he loved my brother and me, but he was right. He was never affectionate.

Later, he says, "Good luck raising a boy nowadays, y'know there's a WAR on BOYS! All this talk about 'toxic masculinity' and crap!"

I said, "Dad. Just this afternoon, you told me that you were afraid to be silly and play with us because of how you might be perceived, and that you didn't know how to show affection because your dad never gave it to you. WHAT do you think*toxic masculinity*is referring to?"

He looked at me, astonished. "Is THAT it?"

"Yeah, Pop," I said. "That's it."

"Oh," he said, "I guess that's okay, then."

Your father is pretty introspective and willing to admit mistakes. That's quite rare.

It is rare.

Last week my daughter was sick and got a lot of attention, so I decided to spontaneously take my four year old son out for ice cream after dinner, just me and him. He asked why we were going and I told him "well since your sister has been sick you haven't been getting as much time with us and I wanted to do something fun so you know how much I love you!"

He said "you don't have to take me to ice cream for that, I already know how much you love me!"

First time I've teared up on my way to Dairy Queen!! 🤣

Boomer moms? reaction when they see me do any more than the absolute bare minimum.

In my interactions it?s typically been well-intentioned, but it does make me feel bad that they had a more difficult experience than they needed to

Right I feel uncomfortable with all of them. All I'm doing is grocery shopping.

I absolutely love it, unashamedly haha. Everyone coming up to me when I'm just taking my kid out for lunch with me or walking with them alone throwing compliments left and right.

It's rare as a man to get this many compliments, so I'm lapping it up while it lasts.

The other day my dad was talking about issues he'd had with dentists and was like, "That's why I was reluctant to take you both" (me and my brother,) then said "although it was usually your mum who took you to things."

I think my dad looked after me apparently when I was very young since he's spoken about that but I don't remember (my grandparents often did when I was a kid too,) but both my parents worked full time and my mum did all of the shopping, cooking, housework until she started university and my dad cooked once a week. I remember when I was very young asking my dad for some warm milk or something and he got me some. Back when I still drunk milk since I went off it except in cereal when I was like 7 or so. That's a very positive memory because I remember my emotional feelings I had about my dad at that time which were like positive uncomplicated kid emotions.

My dad would do DIY projects sometimes around the house. My brother said a while ago he wished our dad taught him more stuff like that growing up. But he was always stressed from working I think.

Also I can't say either of our parents really taught us much in the way of practical skills or life skills.

Our mum also took us everywhere on day trips or to the cinema, the park, carboot sales etc though we went on holiday together as a family. We'd hang out at home but I honestly don't remember going anywhere with just my dad until I was an adult (he drove me to uni a few times alone, and also to the doctors a couple of times in my early 20s.) If we did before then it was rare enough that I've forgotten.

I assume this dynamic continues in older millenials at least since its a complaint I'm hearing from a bunch that women just have to do all gender roles.

Very obvious that my mum resented that. Especially given the general brokenness of their relationship on top of that and other stuff I won't go into.

Can't help but notice anecdotally couples with cats seem happier. I know there are other factors and you can't know everything about other people's lives but I can see why so many are foregoing kids.

Conservatives are like we should go back to trad gender roles. Yeah there's a small niche movement but the vast majority don't want to nor is it economically possible. I think people will just keep choosing not to have kids and you'll have to cope.

Lol and so I've been reading Steven Wilson's autobiography (which I keep posting about, still not done,) and some other stuff I picked up online about him in recent years and I can't help but notice he said in 2017 (he did say he lied in interviews though,) that he sacrificed family for a career (video was titled that for clickbaity reasons,) and had made the decision not to have a family. Supposedly he was in a relationship where he described both were very independent giving him a lot of time to work for like 25 years but then this ended somewhere between 2017-2018 and then he got into a relationship with a woman with two older kids (seemed to be in mid-late childhood in photos he posted online) and the timeline of this seems to have been very quick from what I've seen. Then married her shortly after in his early 50s and seems to have sort of at least nominally adopted them based on things said in interviews. I don't know if the dad is alive/in the picture he just calls them his kids.

I see what you did there lol. Kind of a classic lesbian move too amusingly.

In the 1970s, Peterson had a liaison with*Jon Voight*as well as with*Robert De Niro*during the filming of*The Godfather Part II.[49]*Peterson married musician Mark Pierson in 1981, and he soon became her personal manager. They had one daughter, Sadie Pierson (b. October 12, 1994), and were divorced on February 14, 2003.[50]

Peterson released her memoir,*Yours Cruelly, Elvira: Memoirs of the Mistress of the Dark, on September 21, 2021. She revealed in the book that she has been in a relationship with a woman, Teresa "T" Wierson, since 2002. They began their romantic relationship following Peterson's separation from her husband.[51]*In the book, she also accused basketball player*Wilt Chamberlain*of sexually assaulting her during a party at his*Bel Air*mansion in the 1970s.[52][53][54]

For more than a decade, Paglia was the partner of artist Alison Maddex.[17][18]*Paglia legally adopted Maddex's son (who was born in 2002).[19]*In 2007, the couple separated[20]*but remained "harmonious co-parents", in the words of Paglia, who lived two miles (three kilometers) apart.[4]

From 1988 to 2003, Nixon was in a relationship with educator Danny Mozes.[88]*They have two children together. In June 2018, Nixon revealed that her older child is*transgender.[89][90]

In 2004, Nixon began dating education activist Christine Marinoni. Nixon and Marinoni became engaged in April 2009,[91]*and married in New York City on May 27, 2012, with Nixon wearing a custom-made, pale green dress by*Carolina Herrera.[88][92]*Marinoni gave birth to a son in 2011.[93]

(Some famous examples off the top of my head.)

Not saying they all adopted the kids just a pattern.

So . . . in Europe (or the central part), men are men again?

Yes, in a way. Not the wholesome Gary-Cooper or welder-type way, that most of those who hate on that pajamas guy seem to pine for, though. (Welders and steel workers are the same they've ever been, there's just fewer welders.)

For the rest, who end up in some office in the widest sense, even the pajama type is a step away from the ethereal, depressive, unhealthy and passive type that was prevalent twenty years ago. Yes, he's smug, know-it-all and ironic and all that, but these qualities appear only so offensive when coupled with a political setting the critic despises. But these guys come in all flavours and they are a joy to teach and to work with, compared to their immediate predecessors.

And most university-age guys are the same they've always been, anyways: Middle-of-the-road, but somewhat tinted by the prevalent extreme. And I like today's extremes better: More Oscar Wilde, less St. Sebastian.

I don't really understand the comparison here but that one painting of St Sebastian is kind of hot. It was painted by a man I assume. Now if something like that was created it would be called 'female gaze'

I bet Oscar Wilde would have or did like that painting. He was a huge fan of the craft supposedly (read monsieur venus on his honeymoon.)

I think that's an unverified rumour but there is a reference to the work in The Picture of Dorian Gray. Which I think makes sense given the themes.

Lol:

"Ms. Paglia observes this phenomenon up close with her 11-year-old son, Lucien, whom she is raising with her ex-partner, Alison Maddex, an artist and public-school teacher who lives 2 miles away."

And therein lies the crux of what group is doing a lot of the emasculating..... My apologies if that offends anyone, but just look around and see the acceptance of everything, means we are standing for little, and those that do get raked over the coals as being extremists or homophobic or backwards or any number of other "tags".

I dunno why Paglia bends over backwards to suck their dicks honestly.

I think emasculating adult men is hot actually. 💅 Doing the time then you should have some fun with the crime.

If they didn't complain so much about men becoming less manly etc most people probably wouldn't find it hot I think. That seems to be the rule with fetishes.

I mean I think I still would because I think it comes from the fushion of my general attraction to androgyny coupled with my interest in transformations, mental transformations, people being made sluttier and mind control erotica. Also bimbofication with women (though less into that at the moment.) Bisexuals gonna bisexual.

But in general you could reduce the percentage by complaining less for sure.

During a brief period where I was playing Fallout 3 I had sexual fantasies about people being turned into super mutants almost a grotesque extreme of masculinity when you think about it but that was a brief phase and the feminine stuff just ended up winning. Possibly because you guys didn't stop complaining about feminity.

And there's nothing more romantic or erotic than something forbidden. See: Shakespeare.

On the other hand in progressive spaces people complain non stop about masculinity but masculinisation still isn't hot on a wide scale from what I've observed. Like the process of being made to be masculine specifically. It exists but this is rare. Especially if you don't count feminine people who don't have dicks getting dicks where often this serves a secondary purpose to some guys emasculation (I've even come across something with two women that was bimbofication but the character also got a dick her evil stepmother tricked her with potions. This cracks me up in hindsight because it fits into the cultural sexualisation norm. I mean I mostly liked it because Spoiler: the evil stepmother was like 'the prince is never going to want you now. Maybe you can get me pregnant. I'm a huge fan of people saying that in audio files and in fiction. even guys it turns out. But I dont really like mpreg fanfiction for some reason because of how its written etc. I like hearing guys say that though. Usually in strap on stuff with women. Even though its doubly impossible its always cis guys recording this stuff hahaha.)

It's very much the thing where people like dicks and femininity though.

Oh no I'm woke up after only 2 hours of sleep lying in bed posting. This was all a bad idea.

[Nyctophilia]

https://www.businessinsider.com/pron...er-face-2024-5

A Pennsylvania couple has gained internet fame for their "pronatalist" goal of having many kids.

Now the parents have come under fire after the father publicly slapped his toddler in the face.

The parents, Malcolm and Simone Collins, told BI they think the backlash is overstated ? and racist.

Yeah that doesn't surprise me that couple are long term trolls and deeply 'off' let's say that. Really bad vibes and the wife is constantly fellating her husband's ego. (Which tbh at this point I do see as a red flag in itself unfortunately. Either naive or machivallien in most cases.) It's the couple I posted about a bunch a while back who have a YouTube channel.

"We are kind of shocked by the racism threaded throughout this recent controversy. It is pretty well-documented that African Americans and other minority groups practice corporal punishment much more than other groups," Simone Collins said via email, linking to a CNN article published in 2011.

Yes that is also bad.

They do this kind of crap a lot too. A while back they said homosexuality was misogynistic or something like that because female sexuality is usually based more on BDSM and D/s kinks then gender. And while I agree that sexuality is complex and not just one sex vs another (even in a gender sense there's plenty of people who like women but like dicks and so on,) they said that I'm the most inflammatory way possible and homosexuals still exist regardless.

It's funny that business insider is writing about them. I know it's because they have friends in high places and are connected but if you're not paying attention its like 'why is this mainstream news source writing about some YT channel with 10k subs?' LOL.

'Pronatalist' parents are under fire after the dad publicly slapped his toddler ? and they think the criticism is racist

A Pennsylvania couple has gained internet fame for their "pronatalist" goal of having many kids.Now the parents have come under fire after the father publicly slapped his toddler in the face.The parents, Malcolm and Simone Collins, told BI they think the backlash is overstated - and racist.

Remember the American couple who's following in the steps of the ultra-rich people who want to repopulate the world with their children?

Now they're in hot water after publicly smacking one of their kids.

Malcolm and Simone Collins previously told Business Insider that they're on a mission to have a litter of children because, as pronatalists, they want to*"set the future of our species."

"I do not think humanity is in a great situation right now. And I think if somebody doesn't fix the problem, we could be gone," Malcolm Collins previously told BI in 2022. The couple has done several interviews with the press in an effort to explain their objectives as a couple and speak on behalf of a*burgeoning pronatalist movement.

But a recent interview the couple gave to*The Guardian*is getting a bad reception. The Guardian described a scene when Malcolm Collins slapped one of his toddlers in public after the child "knocked the table with his foot and caused it to teeter, to almost topple, before it rights itself."

"Immediately - like a reflex - Malcolm hits him in the face," The Guardian's Jenny Kleeman wrote. "It is not a heavy blow, but it is a slap with the palm of his hand direct to his two-year-old son's face that's firm enough for me to hear on my voice recorder when I play it back later. And Malcolm has done it in the middle of a public place, in front of a journalist, who he knows is recording everything."

They are elitist and supremacists too. And basically fear that they're going to be overrun with lesser violent people when the 'urban monoculture' people who are temporarily defending them die or something.

The Collinses have been labelled as "hipster*eugenicists" due to their advocacy for selecting embryos based on perceived desirable traits, such as high IQ,[23][22]*and they were speakers at The Natal Conference in 2023.[24][25][19]*Concerns have also been raised about the potential societal impacts of their views, with some suggesting that their approach could exacerbate social inequalities and promote divisive ideologies.[2][23][26][27]*The Collinses are said to find the moniker "hipster eugenicists" rather amusing, but strongly disavow any form of racism and "scoffed at the idea that they were eugenicists".[23][2]

Yes. We've been trending in this direction at an accelerating rate in the US and UK since the 1970s. Their ideological worldview will make things worse but mostly for others of their class background.

She gets where things are going to go:



Lol the whole part about Greek statues being colourful origionally and the fetishisation of white just makes me think of the beige tiktok mums again painting over their colourful kid's toys to fit in with Kim K's living room decor.

Or perhaps in a more tangential way the dad that freaked out that his toddler son might be gay because he liked rainbows and colours and a character with bright orange hair.

Or the time when I showed up to my software dev class and my older male teacher asked if I was in the right place and if I was studying fashion design. Not sure what I was wearing that day but I would wear these alternative looking blazers, jeans with a skirt over the top, blue wallet chain with multicoloured shimmery sand filled seahorse key hair attached as a necklace. Lots of weird, alternative and colourful stuff during this period. This was slightly before I started dying my hair unnatural colours too.

Now, if inequality increases enough, I suspect the stanning will stop. Because it?s fun to watch Jeffree Star spend $69,000 in one trip to the Louis Vuitton store if what you?re doing is fantasizing about what you would buy with that much money. But if you?re thinking about how $69,000 could pay off your life-ruining medical debt or about how you?d be able to afford cancer treatments for your dying wife, this kind of thing will start getting under your skin. And eventually, people will start building guillotines again.

In fact, the only way I can really imagine a revolution actually happening in this country is if rich people start behaving as badly as possible.

'They just envy us because they're low IQ scum.'

Won't stop people from destroying you. But they kind of know that lol. They're scared of the people they see as technophobic, with low economic utility/productivity who have a one world religion viewpoint ending them as I said before. Not sure I understand their long term plan but they seem to think AI will save them or something. From the videos I watched (they didn't give many details in those )

Shout out to Natalie accurately predicting the rise of "backrooms" horror subgenre. Empty commercial spaces really are as haunting as she describes

I wouldn't say she predicted that. The backroom meme started in 2018 and she was commenting on several things that were already in motion in that video (which was uploaded in 2019,) also the aesthetic and related ones had been going on a while (vaporwave, hauntology etc.) The Foyer video by Drab Majesty which also seems to have inspired Contrapoint's aesthetic in some videos. Also The Stanley Parable is similar and there's a similar concept again in the Sims 2 Nightlife expansion pack from like 2005?

I feel like this from all the way back in 1995 fits in:



This is even called The Nostalgia factory from the late 80s or early 90s something like that:



But the truth is the gothic art form never goes out of style it just transforms over time. It's always culturally relevant.

Simone and Malcolm Collins previously worked in*venture capital*and technology sectors. Simone previously served as the managing director for Dialog, a secretive invite-only social club co-founded by investor*Peter Thiel.[2]*Malcolm previously worked as a venture capitalist at*TheVentures*in*South Korea.[2][9][10]*The Collinses currently are the managing directors of the corporate wholesale travel agency Travelmax.[3]*Simone is running as a Republican candidate for the*Pennsylvania General Assembly*in the 2024 elections.[11]

[Nyctophilia]

Quote from Steven Wilson autobiography again:

10 reasons I'm not macho, cool or a 'rock star'

1. I don't drink beer, wine, spirits, or much in the way of alcohol

2. Every morning I go out to feed two squirrels that visit our garden, whom I have named Augustus and Gloop, on a mini squirrel picnic table that I ordered on the internet

3. I know nothing about cars. My car is black and gets me from A to B, that's about all I know.

4. I file my records alphabetically and then chronologically within each artist.

5. I've never smoked or snorted a line in my life.

6. I'm a neat freak and frequently go litter picking in our street (litter drives me nuts).

7. I won't eat animals or fish.

8. I prefer cookies and (non-dairy) milk.

9. I always end up in tears when I watch the movie Love Actually.

10. I love to make lists. On my 'things to do' list today, one of the entries is 'Finish "Lists" chapter'.

OK that's adorable. 😭 🥺 Augustus is a perfect squirrel name.

That's why I like Tumblr but I need like some kind of 'cute eccentric guy being cute' website. Although Tumblr does an OK job of finding them (and also posting similar cute quirky things,) it could be better.

Sometimes I like to think about the time my friend the first time we hung out (before we started dating, and unless you count the time before that where we sat next to each other not communicating in the computer lab and then later I think he asked if thatcwas me on Facebook or something lol,) walked into a lamppost while walking backwards talking to me. It didnt work out romantically/sexually but it still makes me happy remembering that sometimes lol.

Oh I do have to point out that fish are animals though.

(Also the contrast of this with my last post is funny.)

[Nyctophilia]

Young people should welcome National Service

It is time all young people not just those turning 18 repaid their debt to the nation

Even the Telegraphs comment section who presumably are conservative thinks this article about national service is ridiculous. One way or another most people know this will lead to nothing but resentment considering how things just get worse and worse and now you're going to legally push patriotism? Disgusting.

What do these youngsters ?owe? the nation? They had their formative years and education destroyed by the evil lockdowns designed to save old people (most who, incidentally were born after 1942 and so never had to do NS). If they do go to university (and admittedly far too many do) they will be saddled with massive debt which older graduates never faced. It is also likely they will not be able to get on the property ladder and have their own families until it?s far too late. They have been betrayed with lack of housebuilding due in part to opposition by Nimbys and what housing there is being co-opted by immigrants to keep the cheap labour flowing for businesses large and small.

Now Rishi Sunak comes up with the great idea of enslaving them for part of their young lives. If any policy was designed to get this age group who typically don?t vote much out to help destroy the Tories it is this. Another spectacularly own goal by a Prime Minister so out of touch it makes you cringe. The fact that it has been so ill thought through that enough holes have already been poked though it to sink it shows it was drawn up on the back of a pack of Graze snacks.

I?m 55 but can see this for what it is. The hypocrisy of the people who?ll support this having never been enslaved by the state themselves is astonishing. It will do nothing to strengthen our military which needs real money spent (perhaps diverted from disgraceful levels of spending on welfare, foreign aid and immigrants). I can also see youngsters being terribly happy at being forced to deliver prescriptions for free to old folk who never were required to perform compulsory free labour themselves and have pulled the drawbridge up on the younger generation.

Perhaps the Labour slogan should be if you don?t want to be enslaved kids get out there and vote for us!

PS I hate Labour.

National service could lead to renewed sense of pride in Britain, claims Sunak

Oh yeah nothing will increase pride like the country being [BEEP] and you legally forcing people to complete some kind of stressful service either involving military training or nhs/fire service work.

With my severe anxiety I could barely hack work experience in school. And I ended up skipping the interview but they let me work there anyway.

Now thanks partly to lockdown gen z are more mentally ill than millenials but there is no support. I doubt this will help people like to udealistically imagine that throwing people into the deep end is the answer to complex problems while it often makes things worse.

This is the straw that breaks the camel for me, following despair at so many recent Government policies. After fifty years voting for the same party I will not vote for them with a policy that means military service for my grandchildren or forced labour for no pay at weekends for them, it?s an attack on our civil rights and further unwelcome control by Government. As a family, we all carry out charitable services but as a matter of choice not intrusion in our lives by Government.

A major war in Europe may result in a need to enrol our young but that is not where we are at the moment

Mr Sunak said the scheme for 18-year-olds will ?keep them out of trouble?, adding: ?When you ask people about gangs, why they join gangs when you talk to youngsters and when you talk to their parents, it?s because being in that gang gives them a sense of identity and a sense of purpose.

?So this is something that will give kids a much more positive sense of identity and purpose and I actually think one of the other benefits of it is we will see that it will be able to reduce crime because we?ll be doing something really positive for young people instead.?

I honestly doubt you will redirect the focus of those kids in particular this way. Because we'll before that age they will develop apathy or animosity towards the UK. This is pretty common for a bunch of people even those who don't join post code gangs if they live in certain towns.

Most outcasts where they feel that way because of race, ethnic background, personality traits, gender identity and sexuality will not feel attatchment to their town and country by about the age of 12 maybe? When I first noticed myself.

This wouldn't have helped me connect the only thing that helped at all was music but I still disagree with the government and various social values in the UK.

I realise that this group is a little different and more territorial so music prob won't help most (and even with music there's often violence its just both together,) but yeah I just doubt you can get them to redirect it in a conscientious pro-UK way. Too much anger and alienation ime.

Seems like they just want people - men mostly - fir cannon fodder anyway.

[Nyctophilia]

Lol I watched The Office US for the first time (every episode) a few years ago and I missed where he brings up the film Hardware. I am actually interested in watching that but never got around to it. I really liked the aesthetics and the scavenger character.

Someone made an unofficial music video of a Steven Wilson song using that film:


Pretty great pic for an unofficial video because around that era he was doing a lot of similar stuff with Lasse Hoile like gas masks, apocalypse, dystopia themes. Think this was from The Grace for Drowning era though like a few years after Insurgentes but it's a similar vibe imo I kind of lump that whole period and PT's penultimate album together. Also really like the post punk sound. Sounds like The Cure.

Also whatever is happening here:



Who knows if I'll ever get round to it but if someone else had a copy that would be ideal.

Although Gabe was all wrong for Erin, the way Erin dumped Gabe was brutal.

* No. Even if I hated the character (which I don't) It was still harsh, sad and awkward to watch. Plus you already said that but really though Gabe has poor social skills so he was unaware of the fact that he wasn't being a good boyfriend and he clearly wasn't doing to anything to harm her though he didn't need to force horror movies on her if it made her uncomfortable. That's where he messed up but he didn't deserved to be humiliated in front of anyone so I ended up feeling sorry for him.

Gabe deserved it tho. He asked her out knowing she?d feel like she had to say yes bc he?s her boss. Besides that, he is also just gross.

His character makes me uncomfortable (at least rewatching clips,) because it's a very realistic example of how a lot of guys like that act and they often seem to get obsessed with young naive idiots with no social skills lol (like what happened on my first date where I didnt even know I was on a date, or like Erin) but she still didn't need to break up with him on stage at a work event. Should have done it privately.

I get it though she overcorrects because of her tendency to just politely go along with things.

I don't think she's stupid. Rather, she has a lot of trauma and is so fearful of messing something up that she ends up sabotaging herself via anxiety, which makes her seem stupid. In reality, she's so anxious that she can't think straight.

Anyone who has PTSD, or a lot of childhood trauma, can tell you what it is like to come across as stupid due to sheer anxiety. It also causes you to be emotionally stunted and often appear na?ve.

To me it seems that she?s likely Autistic. She take things literally and can?t seem to grasp basic social skills.

Those things can also be caused by trauma and social anxiety. Given that she grew up in the foster system, that seems like the more likely conclusion.

I'd have ro rewatch and I doubt it was the intent but she has something going on probably stunted by her upbringing partly though either way since they designed that backstory.

I am re-watching The Office for the 5th or 6th time because I love it so much but I truly hate Erin with a passion. She is so far beyond stupid it's maddening. I want to slap her in her face. Yeah, I know it's just a tv show. And I know logically that's a necessary part of her character. There are so many examples that I can't think of right now. Of course. But in the episode I am watching right now, Oscar and Pam are helping her play scrabble against Gabe and she is supposed to enter the last word. Oscar has made it so obvious the word is "apoplexy" yet she enters "ape". Also in this episode, Andy is holding a business seminar. Michael is playing his greek character Mikanos and approaches Erin, but she's confused about whether it's really Michael or not............... "Michael...??"*SLAP

Do people realise that some people have learning disabilities or that we're not all equally intelligent? I guess not. You can kind of see how so much abuse in social work type jobs happens too.

I remember one time in school a girl got frustrated with me not talking and told me she wanted to slap me.

There are comments from people saying they wanted to kill her lol....

Understanding how Erin is not cute but actually dumb in the re-watch

Why all of you people keep calling her dumb? It's obvious that she has deep emotional issues. Still cute

She?s adorable*and*dumb and I would protect her with my life

Mm I think I see the problem in part.

She's cute.

The actor who plays Gabe is good at playing characters like this. Like in Silicon Valley:



But from what I remember his character was more sympathetic/likeable on that show but still sycophantic and had certain qualities lol. Richard was the most irritating for me on that show.

Gilfoyle is my favourite character although he's a cryptobro and they annoy me online/not in fiction. I just like the edgelord Satan thing obviously.

Speaking of typecasting I wonder if the incredibly negative reaction to Ellie Kemper's character inspired Tina Feys show Kimmy Schmidt. Presumably. And the character had a more directly emphasised traumatic history:



This isn't the Chinatown bus you can't just choke someone who's sleeping.



I shipped her character with her alcoholic therapist 😐

Mostly after the episode where they break into a house together but that's not on YouTube.

There were no fanfics only her and her boss character.

Anyway that show was OK but not that great. (Probably like a 5.5/10. My favourite sitcom was prob Parks and Rec and I think Tina Fey's bestcwork was 30 Rock and Mean Girls.) Some guy I had a crush on years ago suggested it to me I think and he liked it a lot.

My friend/ex finds her attractive too because she has red hair.

There are multiple robot penis jokes on 30 rock. I can't find a clip of my favourite where Liz compares skyscrapers to giant severed robot penises.

Oh its in this video thats convenient:



You can't have a Sims family that gets murdered without mods. Unless you're the one doing the murdering of course. You monster. The Sims jokes weren't great or accurate on this show but I appreciated the attempt. Sims humour is rare.

I guess the closest thing is if a Sim in The Sims 2 dies from fire their ghost will sometimes set things on fire and also all ghosts can scare Sims to death so that would count.

NGL after all the partners liz had gretchen seemed the most stable and the one that would've made her happy.

I was trying to remember who she ends up with but I honestly can't even remember now lol. Was it anyone? That's how much impact they made.

if liz wasn't biphobic she'd probably be willing to at least try things with gretchen

I don't remember if she was because it's been a while but it's funny looking back because basically every show until about 2015 (not even that long ago,) was biphobic lol. Even early seasons of New Girl in the 2010s.

Also trans jokes that prob wouldn't happen now.

Jack and Liz were always endgame and the writers knew all along. But internal politics and late capitalist bs ruined everything.

Ew no that would have been terrible like Leslie and Ron (Parks and Rec.) I don't even get that in a 'well this wouldn't work but might be fun to read fanfic' sense (like Ben and April, or April and Anne, or Tammy 2 and anyone really) it's just bad.

No I get that they did a bunch of things which played with/joked around the idea but they were clearly very platonic. And I think their relationship means more because despite being very different in a lot of ways they managed to be friends.

It's very unrealistic of course, but that's part of the idealism. Again like Ron and Leslie.

There are people who ship Ron and April too and he clearly saw her as a daughter and she saw him as a role model it's just no lol. But each to their own.

I get it you're a guy and think Ron is cool and think Aubrey is hot.

She has sexual chemistry with the male character she slaps in the face and so Ben basically makes more sense of the main cast dynamic wise when it comes to male characters imo because he's scared of her and the mascara scene.



I've put a lot of thought and projection into this too.

I don't think they'd work long term. Her immaturity. Laziness and general chaos would bother him she's also too mean for him and Ben is too neurotic I think to deal with her baggage. Even though she matures throughout the show (I think a bit too much to be realistic again but it is a sitcom) she still leans in that direction and ultimately liked Andy because he was 'fun'

It would probably be the third most likely pairing for her though after Andy and Orin.

Andy assumed she'd hook up with Orin if she left him though.

I still have no idea who Liz ends up with lol. I got distracted several times and the top Google search results were all about Jack and Liz.

Oh a 🌭 vendor. That makes a lot of sense. I do not remember him though.

Interesting fact is the guy who cut the line was also the guy from Parks and Rec that Ben punched in the bowling alley

Lol that's a funny career for him.

[Nyctophilia]

April from Parks and Rec is a jerk. Fight me.

April Ludgate is a great character, but she is a total jerk to everyone and even in the scenes where she feigns some niceness, she backstabs who ever is with her.

Wait, isn't that the whole point though? Full disclosure, never seen the show, but as heavily quoted/memmed as Parks and Rec is, it seems the whole point of April is that she's dour and has an attitude. She's like that asshole that you still hang out with. But this post makes it seem as though she's supposed to be a sweetheart? Aubrey Plaza herself plays dark humour a lot of places she goes, so it seems to be a type cast.

Yea. Almost everyone in that show is a jerk in some capacity.

That's the whole schtick: they're caricatures of people. Personality quirks taken to an extreme.

I get that sitcoms aren't everyone's cup of tea but they do get that's the point right? They take different personality archetypes that are often exaggerated to varying degrees and then throw them into random situations.

April's character type is immature, apathetic, slightly creative edgelord with a dismissive avoidant attatchment style who cares for some people underneath that and it's surprising that she was popular in the first place because anyone remotely like that irl won't be.

She's basically Wednesday Addams from a lower middle class background and less intelligent/ambitious.

The way Orin is treated is basically a realistic scenario. Most of those characters wouldn't be friends irl especially Leslie and Ron (and that is addressed in numerous issues at least like their falling out later.)

I don't even mind her pessimism or misanthropy, but April is lazy and manipulative. She never puts effort into anything, but gets off on putting other people down. To make it worse, she legitimately screws over multiple characters.*

I actually think she realises her problem very early on (which is what draws her to Andy,) when she breaks up with her boyfriend who has a boyfriend lol.

'We used to make fun of guys like him'

'Why does everything we do have to be cloaked in 15 layers of irony?'

I can't find a clip lol. It's multiple scenes anyway.

Oh OK that seems helpful:



But people don't really change dramatically especially as adults. If anything I think the amount of character development she gets in the last season or two to being more conscientiouscand her career choice was unrealistic.

She has watered down introverted psychopath personality. It's true she likes animals but not most people.

I also wouldn't suggest they watch It's always Sunny (though its an anti-sitcom to some extent.)

[Nyctophilia]

I've only watched like a minute of this video but I have four thoughts already.

1. I have no idea who either of these guys are.

2. I have no idea about whatever drama this is.

3. I like the idea of horror content I don't watch it but I make creepy videos and my favourite moments online are when I've posted something creepy or scary and people start responding lol. Sometimes without realising it would attract attention. I love reading people's scared/disgusted/wtf reactions and it's one of the less antisocial outlets for sadism.

4. Shoe is kind of socially conservative in some ways. So it's not a huge assumption to make if thats where this is going. I mean moreso in the past few years. I don't know if she takes issue with the assumption and I assume this guy is also being dramatic about it but yeah definitely not entirely conservative but tends to pander to them and their fears in content (something other social commentary channels wont do,) which is why they don't hate her and why she married some conservative guy who disliked her I initially.

5. Why is Shoe dressed like Strange Aeons lol?

I mean a gay magician? (Video quote.)

Specifically this era:





People often bring up Shoe in Stange's comments because they look and sound vaguely familiar although are in very different social and political bubbles.

No I know it's a coincidence just I'm easily amused.

Yes that is 5.

Oh they're complaining about vibes. I mean he has a horror/conspiracy/cryptid channel so. Yeah he will.

Lol anyway

(Also no I see everyone in shoes video has the same style of shirt.)

Wait Hitlers birthday was on 4/20? Actually didn't know that hahaha that's so funny. I bet he'd have issues with people smoking weed.

Yeah aside from the Internet Historian and Sneako I don't know any of these people.

Anyway I think this guy is just mentally ill, clearly stressed for economic reasons (struggling to make money,) exacerbating this and suffering from the same atomisisation that has caused the cultural shift towards guilty until proven innocent. AKA no one trusts anyone anymore. And most political disputes can be folded into that as well.

'So wendigoon is a conservative so what why does this matter? Well I care because this doesn't belong in horror I care deeply about horror.'

I beg to differ conservatism definitely belongs in horror xD

(Again I don't know this guy at all that is being criticised just In general lol. I mean I have nightmares about hot goth guys growing beards because they met someone who encouraged them to join an army. With all these moustaches on the left now though who's to say 🤔 anymore.)