Context: I am an androgynous woman in a small, conservative and mostly catholic country. So I guess when people see me with a shaved head they assume I?m a man.

I was about to take a major test (9 hours long) and before it started, the examiner said "everyone who needs to use the toilet, do so now because you wouldn't be able to for a while".

Understandably, a lot of us stood up to go to the toilet and there was a line. So I fell in line. The woman behind me told me "Mister, the line for the men?s toilet is over there". I simply told her ?I am a woman? to which she profusely apologized and said "I'm sorry I didn't know I'm sorry I'm sorry". I don't take offense when this happens so I said nothing and continued facing forward, my back towards this woman. There was about 5 seconds of silence before I felt her hand touching my back and feeling me up while she was saying "are you really a girl?" Over and over until she felt my bra strap and she finally said "oh right you are a girl sorry again!"

I just stood there and froze while it was all happening because it's not like I could go anywhere; I was in a narrow public toilet hallway and there was someone directly in front of me plus I'm super non-confrontational. But I'm not gonna lie, this happened almost 2 months ago and it still bothers me and keeps me awake at night how cishet people seem to think queers are making public toilets unsafe when THEY are the ones being perverts and touching people without their consent just to. Idk what their point was but it's definitely not to make the toilets safer because I sure as [BEEP] didn't feel safe at all.
Some women (and girls,) are very creepy. I had that happen when I was a teenager but back then they just did it so they could laugh at you not wearing a bra while they tried to ping your bra strap through your t-shirt. Which of course I was not at the time since I didn't want to but ended up wearing one during days where I had PE after that to avoid a repeat.

I feel like there's a lot of really weird and creepy and intrusive gender policing that gender conforming cis girls will do....

Where I live, that's considered sexual assault in the second degree (without consent but without force).
That should be the case anywhere in the world with decent laws against sexual harassment. Regardless of the situation in which it occurred.

You live in an excellent place, I wish everywhere were like that.
I doubt it would be here especially with teenage girls.

It's absolutely nobodies buisness and if she wasn't a fucking moron she'd know wearing a bra doesnt reveal anything about your gender or sex anyway.


Askgaybros is a toxic shithole lol. Avoid at all costs cuz it?s ☢️☢️☢️
Oh yeah I wouldn't go there if I was you. I try to avoid that sub and I clearly don't avoid much lol.

When Ive stumbled there while searching other stuff I've found they have amazing discussions like "trans men are women" but also at the same time "there's a name for a guy who wants to date a cis man wearing nail polish - straight."

Its a very masc4masc kind of space I think where they contradict their own transphobic logic when it suits them.

I'm too non-binary + attracted to androgyny for that nonsense anyway.

Some perspective from an older trans woman who has been close to the gay community for decades

Both gay and trans people do not conform to societal pressure to fulfill the gender role for their assigned gender. This is why we are grouped together.

Our struggle is and has always been the same, and we have gone through it together. Trans people have ALWAYS been part of the gay community.

Trans people fought, bled, and died with gay people for decades.

Cis het people widely saw/see us all as grades of the same perversion.

Also, a large portion of us are gay too 😂.

Keep in mind. The transphobic gays are a minority in the gay community. They are just an extra hurtful minority.
A lot of the guys on that sub are more interested in trying to fit in with conservative straight men which fair enough but I wouldn't say there's much overlap given the frequent contempt for less masculine gay men. (There are of course feminine gay men who are transphobic too but yeah.)


It's an attitude that annoys me in men in general. So as I say I try to avoid that sub. I get enough bs from the right wing straight guys online but there's something that feels kind of self hating about it with a lot of gay men (I know some are actually masculine and just look down on femininity, but I know a bunch also had feminine childhoods or other traits that clearly make then stand out from straight guys and instead of accepting that they complain about feminine guys being 'stereotypical' and try to distance themselves. Some trans guys will do this for a bit too to fit in but most grow out of it,) so yeah it's just not a vibe.

I think a lot of them are just like straight men. They are just gay. Doesn't stop them from being transpbobic
Pretty much. Liberal straight men are often more open minded actually than conservative gay men.

Sometimes gay men get mad at trans girls for stealing all the str8 🍆 ... It's happened to me a few times at the adult theaters... Then they get double mad when I'm not interested in them.. So they perceive me as both competition and someone who rejected them. (I'm a trans girl who likes straight guys)
Cisgender gay men aren't into trans women anyway. There are research papers documenting this lol:

https://www.researchgate.net/publica...nsgender_women

A 2016 study that used the penile plethysmograph demonstrated that the arousal patterns, genital and subjective, of cisgender men who report attraction to transgender women who have "female-typical physical characteristics (e.g. breasts) while retaining a penis" are similar to those of straight men and different from those of gay men. The study showed that these men are much more aroused to female than to male stimuli. They differed from both the groups of straight and gay men, however, in also displaying strong arousal to stimuli featuring trans women, to which they responded as much as to the cisgender female stimuli. Of the men attracted to trans women, 41.7% identified as bisexual, with the remainder identifying as straight. The bisexuals among them did not display significantly more arousal to male stimuli than their heterosexual counterparts, though they did report a higher number of male sex partners.[6]
Basically in cis men attraction to trans women is a variant of male heterosexuality not homosexuality. (I think in afab people things get way more complicated and there's less research on some things like trans men, non-binary people and attraction to trans people in any group of afab people or maybe anyone who isn't a cis guy.)

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-79870-2

The present study examined heterosexual and gay men's self-reported sexual attraction and visual fixations to images of cisgender men, cisgender women, feminine trans individuals with breasts, feminine trans individuals without breasts, and bonobos. In terms of heterosexual men's self-reported sexual attraction, models? sex and gender appeared to be relevant. Heterosexual men were most sexually attracted to cisgender women and least sexually attracted to cisgender men. They were more sexually attracted to feminine trans individuals than to cisgender men. They were also more sexually attracted to feminine trans individuals with breasts than to those without breasts. In contrast, gay men reported being most sexually attracted to cisgender men and less sexually attracted to all categories of feminine individuals.
I think if they are they're probably more sexually fluid, bisexual, or have a different sexological profile.

Yes, gay folks made some strides but in the process they threw GNC gays to the back of the bus, trans women under the bus, and trans men into the void.

That's such a great way of putting it lol.


Maybe its because I'm non-binary but trans masc people have our own subcultures tbh online + overlap with sapphic and bisexual culture + tumblr + [BEEP] and trans culture etc and I'm OK with that.


I honestly always felt closer to straight gamer culture and obviously alternative culture and I can relate to individual cis gay men from the UK and that's fine too.


I've never felt a need to be part of the log cabin republican thing and the masc4masc thing obviously was never going to be my thing either even if I medically transitioned as I'm mostly attracted to androgyny.


"So I found this trans woman who makes femdom audio porn guys. She has a really hot voice."

"Look at this bimbo audio porn I found."

"This princess woman is being turned into a bimbo from the waist up with a dick by her evil step mother who suggests maybe she'll be able to get her pregnant like her now dead father couldn't. It's kinda hot right?"

"I listen to this one femdom's audios where she feminises guys or turns them bisexual and it's just her talking. I know I don't self insert as the guys but it's still hot voyeuristically and I find her voice kind of hot."

"So in this mind control erotica this straight guy is being turned gay by a guy..." *momentarily interested* ... "And now he's a feminine bottom =D"

"There's a straight guy in this but he's a femboy bottom~"

*death glaring me for having the audacity to be into topping without being a cis guy in their desert of masculine bottoms who want cis often straight men.*



"We all like the same stuff."

You know what I mean lol? Kind of the opposite of their entire thing in almost every way.